“I am surprised that you have let them walk away without a fight.”
Sarah frowned.
Her friend leaned closer. “From what I understand, your father’s invention is going into mass production and will be in every bank and most of the major retailers very soon.”
Sarah nodded. “We also have requests from other countries to see if we can amend the machine so it can identify fake notes of other currencies.”
“There you go. Your father has the monopoly on this particular device. He can demand any price and is set for life. You can set him up with a staff to look after him. Vaughn will be more than happy to help you find trustworthy people.” She took Sarah’s hands. “Your father no longer needs you to pick up the pieces after him. You are finally free to make your own choices, but you didn’t even ask them how they felt.”
Sarah opened her mouth as if to speak but couldn’t say anything.
Beatrice was right. Sarah had allowed the two men she loved more than anything she had ever imagined to just walk out of her life. Her heart pounded. Could she do it? Could she confront them and find out for sure if their love stood a chance? By not going she could continue to cling to that hope that they would come for her. If she asked them outright there would be no prevaricating, no uncertainty.
And what if they returned her feelings?
Am I up for another life of watching my step and ensuring I give nothing away?
Archer’s and Warren’s faces flashed into her mind. Their care, their desire, their need for her. Her.
Sarah rose to her feet. Beatrice did so as well.
Sarah hugged her. “Thank you, Bea. You gave me the perspective I needed.”
“It won’t be easy, Sarah.” Beatrice laughed. “I have one husband and juggling his moods and needs is difficult enough. I cannot imagine what it would be having two of his kind.”
“It’s the best feeling in the world and one that I will only give up on if they tell me it’s over. And maybe not even then.”
“Good luck.” Beatrice hugged her again.
“Thank you. And thank you for forgiving me.”
“No forgiveness necessary. Come to us if you need any help.”
Sarah kissed her cheek. “I will, thank you.” She tugged on her coat, stepped outside and waved down a hansom. It was early afternoon. She’d go home and change and head over to their house. If they no longer wanted her they would have to tell her to her face.
And if that was indeed the case she would travel. She would book a trip around the world in one of those luxury airships. She would leave London and the pain behind.
Despite her bravado, Sarah sincerely hoped it would not come to that.
When she stepped into her house, the new maid rushed forward with a silver platter. It held an envelope. An envelope containing an invitation she had not anticipated.
Now she only had to find the courage to answer it.
Chapter Sixteen
Archer leaned back into his chair, its leather creaking under him. The last two weeks had been bad. Very, very bad.
Not on the business front. Rigdon’s machine had broken all records and Archer’s contribution was paying off very well. Sarah’s father had insisted that he receive a percentage, even if he didn’t want to be part of the patent.
But Warren had disappeared into his studio and had not come out. With the connected bathroom and the sofa to sleep on, he had everything he needed. Jennings took food and drink in there, but not once had his lover asked or looked for him. This was not unusual when Warren dove deep into a project, but it had never happened after they’d fought.
No, they didn’t even have a fight. Warren had just shut down, shut Archer out.
This was the first time since they’d declared their love for each other that they hadn’t spoken for more than a day while living in the same house.
He’d gone looking for Warren a couple of times, but the studio door was locked and Warren hadn’t answered his knocks. Archer tried to respect his lover’s need for solitude.
He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He never slept well without Warren close, and this barrier between them hurt on so many levels. He didn’t know how things had gone so wrong.
Warren had been the first person in his life who loved Archer for himself. Not for his money or his abilities or his connections all over the city. But just for who he was. That love had been a balm on his battered soul, had eased his complete inability to satisfy his father.
And now he had allowed his distrust and fear of rejection to hurt the two most important people in his life.
He’d written numerous letters to Sarah, letters filled with apologies and declarations of love. But it hadn’t felt right to send them. Her life had changed completely. She finally had the funds and the support to do whatever she wanted.
She could travel the world, see all the destinations she’d always dreamed about.
What right did he have to ask her to stay with him and Warren, to ask her to join their world of secrecy and danger?
He stared at the piles of papers on his desk, the stacks of projects, large and small, on his shelves. None of it meant anything if he didn’t have Sarah and Warren.
This has to end. You will never know for certain until you ask.
Archer rose to his feet. “He’s hidden long enough. We will clear this up now.”
He strode out of the office as the knocker sounded. Pausing in the entrance hall he watched as Jennings opened the door.
Sarah entered at the same time Warren marched out of the studio. He looked as bad as Archer felt.
But she was as beautiful as ever. She handed her coat and purse to Jennings with a smile that lit the fire inside Archer.
Then she turned to the two of them. Her smile died. “Gentlemen, I believe we have things to discuss.”
Both he and Warren nodded.
Warren walked up to her, took her hand and pressed a kiss into the heart of her palm. “We do, but first I have something to show you.”
She tensed, but nodded. “Show me.”
Warren clasped her hand and gently towed her to the studio. Archer followed, warmth spreading through his body. He should have felt left out, but he had a very good idea why Sarah was here. She came, that was all that mattered.
Warren walked through the doorway into the studio, but Sarah hesitated, releasing his hand. Warren turned to her and waited.
Archer rested a hand on her shoulder and felt her shiver. “Trust him.”
Sarah took a couple of deep breaths and then preceded Archer into the studio.
The wall of windows was uncovered. Light streamed into the room, filling every nook and cranny with sunshine.
The canvas, her canvas, sat facing the windows in full light.
She pressed her hands before her and slowly walked around until she could see Warren’s painting.
She gasped.
Warren wanted to pace, wanted to scream and shout at Sarah to tell him what she thought, how she felt.
But he didn’t. He clung to control, hoping that he had expressed his feelings enough for her to give them all a chance.
Her hands shook when she raised them to her lips. A tear trickled down her cheek.
His heart sank, his gut churned. She hates it, was his only thought.
“She—” Sarah cleared her voice. “She is beautiful.”
Warren took her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. “You, Sarah, you are beautiful, inside and out.”
Her lips quivered, but she smiled and cupped his cheek. “Thank you.” She rose to her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss against his lips before turning back to look at the painting. She also stretched out a hand toward Archer, who did not hesitate and clasped it.
“I was so afraid I would look like a flabby, ugly blob.”
Warren gaped and caught Archer’s gaze over her head. “Where the hell did that come from?”
A blush spread across her cheeks. She looked down, her shoulders going
up to her ears. “You are aware that I am bigger than average and not particularly fashionable.”
Warren shook her gently. “Sarah, you are beautiful. You brim with life.” He threw his hands in the air. “With sensuality. Every time I see you I just want to touch you, feel you, kiss you.”
Archer pressed against her back. “You have an amazing body.” He caressed her shoulders and followed the outline of her rib cage. “I dream of the softness and the weight of your breasts, the texture of your nipples.” He cupped them and caressed her peaks. “I love the small curve you have here.” He flattened his palms on her stomach. “It makes me want to tongue and suck your soft skin.”
He moved his hands farther down and cupped her arse. “Your bum is gorgeous. I imagine it underneath your dresses and skirts. It is lush and sexy and when I thrust into you from behind I will smack into it with the most beautiful sound.”
Her breathing grew uneven. Hell, Warren himself struggled to remain in control while imagining everything Archer described. He knelt before her and stroked his hands down the outsides of her legs. “I love the fullness of your thighs. When I plunge deep inside you they grip me so tightly.” He caressed the back of her knee. “You are so sensitive. The slightest touch drives you crazy.”
He lifted one leg and set it on his thigh. “I love your calves. Smooth and round and delicious. And every time I see your ankle when you lift your skirt to climb into a coach or to walk up the steps I imagine kissing it.” He removed her shoe and caressed her arch. “I love this area.” Her toes curled in response to his touch. “You are so sensitive and soft. I cannot wait to lick and tease you here.” He looked up at her. She panted, her body slumped against Archer. “You are incredible. The pinnacle of female beauty.”
She studied him for a moment. Then she gently pulled her foot out of his hand, put her shoe back on and stepped away from both of them. Sarah took a deep breath and turned. “Then why did you lie to me about your true relationship?”
Sarah stared at the men. Her heart rate was up, her nipples tight and she was wet. The way they described every aspect of her she hated about herself was amazing. It had reminded her how she had felt that fateful night in her blue dress, how for the first time in her life she had loved her body.
Over the last two weeks she had used her looks as a weapon against herself. She had told herself she was too big, too blobby to be with them, that they had rejected her after coming to their senses. It was lovely that they thought her beautiful, but she realized she had to love herself or she would always be dependent on their validation.
Seeing Warren’s painting of her showed her without a shadow of a doubt something Sarah had never dared to truly believe.
She was beautiful.
Not in the manner that was currently in fashion. She would always be too curvy for that and her hair was too straight. But in her own way.
Her skin was flawless, her scattered freckles a decoration. Her arched back lifted her heavy breasts and light-brown nipples like a feast. The flabby tummy she had always hated was a gentle curve followed by a round bottom. One leg straight, the other slightly at an angle, and appearing as if they ran on forever.
And her expression. Ecstasy and surrender and a bone-deep knowledge of her own worth. Her eyes sparkled with confidence and sensuality. A knowing smile curved her full lips.
The woman in the painting was the woman she could be in real life if only she allowed herself.
This epiphany raced through Sarah like a lightning strike.
All her life she had given the people around her permission to put her down, to make her feel not good enough.
No longer.
Her determination grew. She loved Warren and Archer and she deserved to be loved.
They had opened her eyes to the real her, had helped her find and accept herself, and she would always be grateful to them for that. But there were still a lot of things they had to talk about.
“Can we sit?” Archer asked. “This is a longer explanation.”
She nodded and went to the sofa. Archer sat beside her and Warren sank onto one of the stools before them.
“Kemmer was an idiot. We never thought of you as cover. You are our third, the balance between us,” Archer said.
“You are the woman we want to have a family with,” Warren said.
Archer nodded. “Warren and I have been together for about seven years. It was easy enough at first. We didn’t think it was serious. We were young bachelors and traveled the world. We liked women, so we enjoyed each other and them, ensuring there were never rumors.”
“Over time both of us realized we loved each other.” Warren smiled. “We weren’t exactly fast on the uptake.”
Archer smiled. “We still traveled and to the outside world we lived together as housemates.”
“Archer is being kind to his penniless artistic friend.” Warren grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck. “As a cover it’s pretty good.”
“But you are garnering attention as an artist, are you not?” Sarah asked.
He nodded. “But most people still don’t believe it is a way to make a living.”
“Anyway, we love each other, but there is a hole. The two of us are not enough.” Archer rubbed his hand over his heart. “And we both long for family. We know our situation is highly unusual and not without risk, but we thought we could find the right woman.” He paused. “We approached one we believed suitable. Warren had doubts, but I didn’t listen. And when we indicated we wanted to share she slapped me and sent us away.”
“Awkward.”
Warren huffed. “That would be one way to describe it. We tried one more time, this time Archer didn’t think her fitting. She agreed to be shared, but immediately gave us a list of conditions with money at the top of said list. We never told them the truth. Maybe we always knew they weren’t the one.” He shrugged. “Neither of them were you. Neither of them grabbed both of us by the throat and dragged us to our knees.”
Her brows shot up. “And I did?”
Warren burst into laughter. “I knew you were special the moment Archer first mentioned you.” He patted his lover’s knee. “He had to work himself around to seeing you for who you are. He is a little slow sometimes. When I finally met you I knew you were the one.”
Sarah swallowed. “What exactly are you proposing?”
“Marriage and family,” Archer replied.
“But I can only marry one of you. Won’t the other feel left out?”
Warren took her hand. “No. Marrying Archer will give you better protection than me. He has connections and more power in the city. As long as I know you love me I can live with the secret and the knowledge that my children will always be thought of as Archer’s.”
“Love you?” She jumped to her feet. “Love you?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “So I’m your third choice and am supposed to give you my love for Archer’s protection?”
Both men rushed to their feet and took a hand each.
“You’re not our third choice, sweet.”
“We want you at our side.”
Lord, that’s it. Sarah had enough of their flowery speeches and vague replies. “Why? Why do you want me?”
Archer and Warren froze for a moment, then exchanged a look. She stepped between them and held up her hands. “No, no more planning and preparing your answers. Just tell me!”
Warren stepped in front of her and cupped her face. “I love you, sweet. You challenge me on so many levels. As an artist. As a man. As a lover. Every moment with you is as if I am racing along the roads on a velocycle at high speed.” He touched Archer’s shoulder. “When the three of us are together it is as if that race is moved to the stars.”
Sarah’s vision blurred. He kissed her. Her lips softened and opened to welcome him. His familiar scent surrounded her, his taste filled every corner of her being.
“That is why I want you with us.” He gave her one last kiss before taking her by the shoulders and turning her arou
nd until she leaned against his chest, his arms around her waist, and faced Archer.
He looked at her, his brown eyes so dark they were nearly black. He gently lifted her hands and pressed a kiss into the center of each palm. “I am sorry, my love.”
Sarah’s heart cracked. Archer was more serious, more reserved. Would he be able to give her what she needed?
“I am sorry I hurt you. Because of my suspicions and fear of rejection I believed you guilty. I lacked the courage to love you.” He kissed her palm again. “If I shared with you how much I love you, you could have rebuffed me. I wasn’t prepared to take that risk. That’s why I hurt you.”
She blinked. A tear trickled down her cheek. Seeing him so humble was painful. But it also gave her hope. “What about now?”
“I want you with me because I love you. You fill a part of me that has been lonely for a very, very long time. With you and Warren at my side I don’t need anything else in the world.”
Sarah laughed and sobbed at the same time as she flung her arms around his neck. He captured her trembling lips in a kiss so hot fire blazed through her.
Warren flattened his palms across her stomach and kissed her neck.
Archer released her. “What about you?”
Sarah’s heart raced. “I love you, Archer.” She clung to him with one arm and used the other to pull Warren even closer. “And I love you, Warren.” She laughed around the tears clogging her throat. “But I have no clue how this is supposed to work.”
“We will make it work, sweet.” Warren kissed her cheek.
Archer took her hand, tugged her to the sofa and pulled her into his lap. “Do you want it to work? I love you and Warren and cannot imagine my life without either of you.”
Warren kissed her. “I love you too. No matter what obstacles our lives will run into, as long as we have each other we can overcome them.”
Sarah thought back to the last two weeks of misery. The pain and loss of not having them in her life.
She did not want to ever experience those days again.
She cuddled deeper into Archer’s arms. “It won’t be easy.” She reached out and took Warren’s hand. “I don’t ever want you to feel left out.”
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