by Sam Mariano
“He and Vince weren’t close, though. He wasn’t much of a father.”
Laurel nods, glancing back up at me. “Yeah, that’s what I heard. He didn’t really even seem sad at the funeral.”
“I’m sure it’s harder for the kid who felt abandoned to look at him and see anything worth admiring. I wasn’t his son, he didn’t let me down, so I looked at it differently. To me, my dad was too soft, so I liked Ben’s hardness.”
Her gaze drops to my bare chest and she asks, “Do you think you’re hard?”
“Nah, that was the simplistic view of a kid. I grew up. Now I realize there’s not just hard and soft, strong and weak, there are lots of different ways to be both. Now I know a lot of what people see as strength is just fear, and a lot of what people see as weakness is bravery. There are a lot of intricacies and nuances to people that you miss if you’re brushing with broad-strokes.”
“I think so, too,” Laurel says. “Did you still look up to Ben as an adult?”
“Well, then he was my boss; you have to respect your boss. Years back when he decided to come to Vegas, I made it my goal to join him as soon as I could. I was in Chicago then, but that was Mateo’s territory from the time he was born.”
“Yeah, your family’s weird practice of passing on power by heredity.” She nods. “I know about that. It seems like maybe not the best way of doing things.”
“I agree, actually. Before all this,” I say, indicating her stomach, “it’s one of the things I was thinking about trying to change. It always ends up working out, but your brother-in-law is a perfect example of how that could have gone sideways. He and Mia were more like Matt and Belle, but Mia was lucky that the man she loved was Mateo, and he had more power than Vince so he could keep her. If Ben’s power had transferred to Vince, he would have abused it to get what he wanted. Would have either ruined everyone else’s lives or lost his own if someone with some sense stopped him—probably me. Everyone abuses their power every now and again, but overall you have to be clear-headed. Small minds shouldn’t have immense power. That’s kinda why I didn’t want it to go to Gio. Not to sound like an asshole, but I don’t think he’s smart enough to be the boss. He’s petty about everything, can’t let a single thing go to focus on the bigger picture. Can’t use his head if his feelings get in the way. He follows his feelings more than a good boss should.”
“You don’t follow your feelings?”
“Not in business, no. Can’t afford to do that.”
Laurel nods. “I can see how that would be the case. What about in your personal life?”
“I keep careful control there, too,” I inform her, in case she hadn’t already guessed. “You came back into my life at a weird time. This crazy ex resurfaced, then I found out you were pregnant, and that…”
“Threw you,” she finishes, thankfully not looking pissy about it. “Trust me, it threw me too. I mean, I got so carried away with you in Chicago, I wondered if you didn’t use a condom and I just didn’t notice.”
Smirking, I tell her, “That’s not really something you don’t notice eventually. Even if you’re slick enough that you don’t feel the stretching to fit, there’s going to be more of a mess afterward without a condom.”
“That makes sense. I don’t know, I’ve only ever had sex with a condom.”
Given I know so little about Sin’s sex life, I guess I’m glad she made him wrap it up despite being pregnant. I know the doctor will still test her to be safe at the appointment—and draw some blood for a DNA test I’m not going to tell her about, just to cover all my bases—but I like that she’s smart about sex. I’ve always been wary of the girls who seemed eager to fuck bareback; I’m not naïve enough to think I’m the only near-stranger getting that invitation.
Bringing up my sex life is not the way to go after the evening we had, so I don’t say any of that. In fact, I don’t think we need to say anything more. There are too many hot-buttons for each of us right now, and it has been a long-ass night. As much as I usually enjoy going out, I am certainly looking forward to a quiet night in with Laurel tomorrow. I think that’s more her speed, and while I’m not interested in giving up my whole routine, I’ll have to bend a little to meet her needs too, or this will never work.
12
Laurel
There aren’t words for how much I am dreading this phone call.
After a lovely, quiet breakfast with Rafe, now it’s time to call Carly. Rafe assures me that my sister loves me and wants me to be happy, but I think she wants me to not have Rafe’s baby much more.
“I think we should keep putting this off,” I tell him. “There’s no reason she has to know right now. We should have second breakfast.”
Rafe shakes his head like he thinks I’m overreacting. “We’re getting it done now.”
“Wanna make out? I have a strong urge to make out with you right now. Let’s do that instead.”
“As tempted as I am by your offer of avoidance kisses, no.”
I pout at him. “You don’t like my mouth?”
Sliding me a playful warning look, he says, “Keep it up.”
“I’m just saying, if you liked my mouth, you would be much more interested in going upstairs and making out for a while. We can make this phone call any old time.”
“We’re going to make it now so we can enjoy the rest of the day,” he states, grabbing the phone himself since I’m making no move to do it.
“How about you make the call and I’ll hide behind the couch and listen,” I suggest.
He cocks an eyebrow and holds up the cell phone to show me it’s ringing. “Better hide fast.”
Grimacing, I hide my face behind my hands, but spread my fingers to peek. My sister’s face fills the screen. Rafe has the phone aimed only at me right now, so she offers me a big smile.
“Hey, you. How’s Chicago?”
This already sucks. Grimacing, I say, “Um, that’s actually why I’m calling. I may have been gently massaging the truth when I said I was in Chicago.”
“How gently?”
“I’m in Vegas,” I blurt.
Her smile falters, but she doesn’t flip out. “Vegas? Because you’re visiting a certain golden-haired Morelli, or because you’re finally pursuing your lifelong dream of legal prostitution? Please say it’s the second thing.”
Rafe tilts the phone to face him and he waves.
Carly groans and drawls, “No. Be a hooker, Laurel! It’s not too late.”
“That can’t be the answer to everything,” Rafe says, lightly.
Carly glares at him.
I might as well get all the bad news out there now. “The reason I came here is…” I hesitate, trying to think of a gentle way to put it, but there is no gentle way. “Remember Easter?”
“Like it was a fucking terrorist attack. Never forget.”
“Right, well… so, it turns out that, um… Even though we were totally safe and we’re not sure how…” I trail off and look at the screen. I know she already gets it, but she’s trying not to. “I’m pregnant.”
She says nothing.
This is scarier than anger and disappointment, because I have no idea what’s coming.
Rafe turns the screen back so he’s in the frame. “And we’re cool with it,” he adds. “This is clearly unexpected, but Laurel wants to go through with the pregnancy.”
Carly glances down, shaking her head. Her long blonde hair is down today, and as she shakes her head, some of it falls in her face.
“Say something,” I prod. “Please don’t be mad. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I have no idea how it did.”
Carly looks back at the screen, attempting a half-ass smile. “I’m not mad, Laurel. Just processing. Sorry.” Attempting to rally, she says, “How do you feel about this?”
“I don’t know, how do you feel about it? I thought you would be more responsive.”
“It’s not my body, kiddo, it doesn’t matter much how I feel about it. Or how he feels about it,” she
mutters. “Sorry, I’m trying.”
Boy, would she not like Sin. That makes me sad, too. I’m trying not to think about him while I’m with Rafe in the interest of giving him a fair shot (and, well, because Sin refuses to do more than fuck with my head and toy with my body—no relationship is on offer). My heart won’t let me keep him out for long, though. Even though I had a nice night with Rafe once we were in bed last night, and a nice morning with him so far, I can’t help feeling a little guilty for it. It doesn’t matter that Sin was a jerk, it doesn’t matter that he told me himself to focus on what I can have and give Rafe a chance. It doesn’t matter that he can go from so hot in the hallway, setting my body on fire even though my brain should know better, to so cold at the table afterward, like the interlude in the hall never even happened.
“Laurel?”
My gaze jerks to the phone and I realize I missed whatever Carly said. “Huh? Sorry, I spaced out for a second.”
“Are you happy?”
I stare at the phone, unable to conjure an answer. That’s a loaded question, and I don’t know the answer yet. I’m certainly not the most miserable I’ve been this week, but I can’t say I’m the happiest, either. I was the happiest in Sin’s bed, and despite whatever that was in the hall last night, he assures me I won’t be going back there.
My happiness doesn’t depend on him though, regardless of how it feels at times. So I hope it’s not a lie when I tell her, “I will be.”
With a tremulous smile, she nods. “That’s what matters.”
“Please don’t be disappointed. I know it’s off-plan, but I’ve got back-up plans for my back-up plans. You know me. I’m not leaving anything to chance. I’ve got this under control. I’ll still finish school; I’m just going to do it with a baby. But on the plus side? Ironic onesies.”
Carly laughs a little. “I’ll start shopping around for them now.”
“Plus, baby shoes are really cute.”
“Incredibly cute,” Carly agrees. “And the fluffy little sleepers? We’re gonna have to go shopping as soon as you find out what you’re having.”
“Mia bought me a starter pregnancy wardrobe already.”
Her smile droops. “You told Mia before you told me?”
“Not on purpose! Rafe told Mateo, who told Mia—then there was a minor kidnapping situation, nothing to be alarmed about. I had to see stupid Alec again.”
Carly frowns, confused. “What?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her, waving it off. “The point is, I actually did go back to Chicago and I was going to fly home from there, and when I got there, everyone already knew I was pregnant. His doing, not mine.”
Carly messages her temples. “I’m getting a Morelli migraine.”
“Well, you’re married to one and I’m pregnant with one, so we should probably stock up on maximum strength aspirin,” I tell her.
Glancing warily from me to Rafe, she asks, “So, are you guys together now?”
“No,” I say, at the exact time Rafe says, “Yes.”
I blink, looking over at him. He quirks an eyebrow. “We’re testing the waters,” I offer, though I’m not sure if I’m talking to him or Carly. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to go to sleep after Sin cornered me in the hall last night if I’d been with Rafe, and I would expect him not to be buying other women presents if he thought we were official.
“Testing the waters,” Carly repeats.
“To see if we would work in a relationship. Together would mean commitments have been made, and the only commitment I’ve made is the one to have this baby. Other than that, I’m still figuring things out.” I hesitate, but then I decide there’s little point holding back. “If things don’t work out in Vegas, I’m sort of thinking about taking Mia up on her offer to let me stay at the mansion while I finish school.”
“Nope,” Carly says.
“See, on that we can agree,” Rafe volunteers.
Pointing her finger at him, she says, “Don’t you agree with me, Satan.” Pointing at me and lifting her brows, she says, “That’s a hard no. Live with Mateo? Has the baby absorbed your whole brain? Do you remember who got you into this situation in the first place?”
“It’s a big house; I would probably never even see him except at dinner. And Mia wants to adopt me as a friend. Remember their playroom? If I’m bad at momming, the playroom would totally make up for it.”
Rafe interrupts. “I don’t know why we’re talking about this like it’s a thing that may actually happen, because it isn’t.”
Just because he’s annoying me, I add, “Mia says if I come back to Chicago, she’ll hook me up with Alec and we can be sisters-in-law. Now that he knows I have a kinky side, he’s wishing he hadn’t cut our date short.”
Rafe scowls. “Your date? You went on a date with Alec?”
Ignoring him and offering Carly an exaggerated shrug, I tell her, “I mean, I don’t like Alec, but the only requirement to be my type seems to be ‘capable of murder’ and Alec assures me he’s up to the task, so maybe he could win me over. I could see him sitting through some forced Smallville marathons as long as I pay him back once we hit the bedroom. Bonus, I bet he and Vince get along. No family feud if I marry Alec.”
“All I’m hearing is you want me to kill my cousin,” Rafe states.
I bite back a smile. “All I’m saying is I have a lot of solid options to look at.”
“If the Morellis are involved in all your back-up plans, you need to find some back-ups for your back-ups and their back-ups,” Carly informs me.
Rafe cuts in. “We’re just going to focus on the first plan for now.”
I nod my head. “Tomorrow is my first baby doctor appointment. Rafe’s Vegas cousin got me an appointment with his wife’s OB-GYN.”
“That’s exciting,” she tells me. “You better take video if you get an ultrasound.”
I look over at Rafe. “That’s officially your job.”
“Got it covered,” he assures me. “Unless of course you’d like to call in Alec. Maybe he’d do a better job.”
I shrug. “He might. I’ve never seen your videographer skills at work.”
Rafe shakes his head. “The punishments just keep on stacking up. I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life punishing you at this rate.”
“You can try,” I tell him with a cheeky smile.
Carly feigns vomiting on the video chat. “You guys are making me nauseous.”
“Oh, I’m not having morning sickness,” I tell her, excited to have a single burst of good news.
“You sure it’s a Morelli? They tend to cause as much pain as humanly possible,” she replies.
The errant thought flies through my mind that I wish I’d met Sin when he was in Chicago for Ben’s funeral that very same weekend. Then it would be his baby, and since he was so adamant about keeping Rafe’s, I know he would be a total brute about keeping his. Not that I’d need much convincing in that scenario. Asshole wouldn’t be able to cut me loose so easily then, now, would he?
“Um… I was joking,” Carly says, watching me. “Is there a chance it isn’t? Oh, God, please say yes.”
Only if I figure out how to time travel. Of course, without Rafe’s baby in my womb, Sin won’t give me the time of day, but time traveling Laurel will already know he’s worth it, so she’ll force him to notice her.
Hell, I’ll strip naked and cuff myself to whatever bed he stayed in. Watch him ignore that.
Well, I guess he has before.
Why does he have to be so damn elusive? All I want is the ability to time travel and force him to impregnate me so he will be stuck with me forever. Is that so much to ask?
God, infatuation turns me into a psycho. Should I be alarmed that I have that scenario at my disposal with Rafe, and I don’t care?
Rafe waves a hand in front of my face. “Hello?”
Shaking my head slightly to clear it, I focus on my sister. “Yeah, sorry, I spaced out there for a second. No, there’
s no chance it’s not Rafe’s. Sorry.”
Now all I can think about is Sin, and time traveling back to Easter so I can get knocked up with his baby instead of Rafe’s. What would Daddy Sin be like? I bet it would be sexy. Everything he does is sexy.
I miss his strong arms wrapped around me in bed. Hell, I even miss him cornering me and pushing me up against the wall last night in the hallway. His big, scarred hand skimming my ass. Telling me to get myself off and think of him—like there’s even a chance I’d think of anything else.
My chest aches. I want to text him.
This is not how today was supposed to go. I feel like climbing back in bed and wallowing about what an asshole Sin is, not having a relaxing day with Rafe—one of the most handsome men I’ve ever met, who also happens to have fathered the little cherry-sized being in my womb. I really am going to die alone.
Rafe notices me lagging and takes over the phone call. It’s over a moment later since he and Carly don’t have much to do with one another. The way he looks over at me, I feel like he knows what I’m thinking, like he can see where my mind went. That’s probably me being paranoid, but it brings his words last night back to me. Now that he’s not angry and there’s no alcohol in his body, I wonder if there’s any give. I wonder what would happen if I just told him plainly that I am head over heels in love, regardless of his opinion about how quickly it happened, and I just want to be with Sin. It’s not like Rafe and I have some great love affair that can’t be replicated. We hit it off over Easter and spent the weekend having great sex—that’s every weekend for him. He only wants me because he thinks Sin does, but nobody wins if we don’t want each other.
I guess I cannot say I am giving this a fair shot with thoughts like these running through my head. Regardless of Rafe’s motives for wanting this, Sin doesn’t, and I guess that’s the thing that should ultimately shut these thoughts down. There is no choice between Rafe or Sin, my choice is between Rafe and Chicago.
And I do like Rafe. I liked him more a week ago, but I should try to keep an open mind. Maybe last night was an anomaly. Maybe the situations with other women would go away once he was in an established relationship. Everyone here thinks of him as a confirmed bachelor, so my presence at the table didn’t mean much. I’m still new. Anyone would have thought of me as temporary.
