Awake

by Riana Lucas

  Willow bows her head and sits next to me once again. She places her hands in her lap and wrings them nervously. “So the queen has said she would like you paired with Gideon?” she asks softly as she glances at me from the corner of her eye.

  “No,” I say softly but with a note of defiance in my voice. “The queen just said he was attractive, and I made it clear to her—as I am to you—that I am not interested, especially with a fae of the seelie court. I am unseelie and plan to return home once the queen allows it.”

  She looks up once again with what looks like alarm in her eyes. “Oh! You plan to leave? Why?”

  “Well, as I said, I am unseelie. I do not belong here, and I have duties back at my court. My king is probably furious over this situation as it is. I do not wish for him to take unnecessary action against the queen. She has been kind and hospitable.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about it, Poppy. I believe the king is well aware that you are here and why. He won’t attack our court if that is what you are afraid of. ” She says this with a confidence that makes me want to believe her, but she is only a servant to the queen. There is no way for her to be certain.

  “Well, that may be the case, but I would still like to return home at some point.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t. We've only just become friends and I don't want to lose you already. I promise we’ll have a lot of fun together. You can train and do whatever you like, and I’ll always be loyal to you and watch your back. We could stay friends forever." She sounds much younger than she is, vulnerable and fragile, when she speaks this way.

  I hate the idea of upsetting her, and so I quickly reassure her, “I like being friends with you too.” Then I smile a sly smile at her before saying, “So tell me more about Gideon. You like him?”

  A blush once again begins to creep up her neck into her cheeks, but she does not hide it this time. “He’s very handsome and strong as well as fierce and brave. We’re very close in age, so I’ve known him most of my life.” She smiles softly, trying to hide the sadness behind her words. “But he doesn’t notice me. You, though? He will notice you. You’re so beautiful, and you two are so alike.”

  I balk at the compliment. “I’m not beautiful. I’m a regular fae. The only difference is I’m a strong and capable fighter, but that’s all. You are beautiful, Willow, and you shouldn’t compare yourself to others.”

  “You’re a good friend, Poppy.” She looks away, and I am glad because I believe I saw her eyes glistening. I don’t think I could handle it if she cried.

  After a few seconds, she composes herself and turns her attention back to me. “So when does your training session start?”

  “Whenever I am ready and whenever you are able to show me the way.”

  She jumps up quickly and starts bustling around the room, gathering items so quickly I am unable to see what they are. I observe quietly until she finally turns to me and holds the items up. She has a new shirt and pants in her hands, along with a brush and hair band to pull my hair back with. “Here are clothes that will be suitable for training, and when you’re finished dressing, I’ll braid your hair for you.”

  I look at her sternly as I take the items from her hands. “What did I tell you, Willow? You are not to serve me. I’m quite capable of getting my own clothes and brushing my own hair.” She begins to speak, but I shake my head and look pointedly at her. “Thank you for your help, but I can take it from here. I will be out in a moment, and we can walk together to the training room. Okay?”

  She smiles at me and sits on my bed. “Okay. I’ll just wait here for you.”

  I walk into the bathroom and close the door quietly behind me. Setting everything down, I look at my reflection in the mirror, remembering Willow’s words from a few moments ago. Beautiful? I have never been called before. I remember briefly Reed's comment when I met him, but I brush that off quickly as just his teasing. Gazing at my appearance now, I try to see myself through Willow's eyes. My features are normal fae features, narrow nose, high cheek bones, and a pointy chin, but they are softer than most of the others’ in my court. My hair is shiny, smooth, and long, which is also similar to most other fae. Due to my battle training, my body is in great condition, my figure tight and firm. I am not too muscular, just lean and with no soft spots to fuss over, like Rho used to say when she was peering at her own reflection in my room at home. My eyes, though, I can admit are quite pretty. If I had to choose the one thing about myself I like most, I would choose my eyes. The green is such a contrast to my dark hair with the red running through it, standing out and almost glowing at times.

  I run my hand through my hair and smooth it back from my face, staring into my own eyes. I suddenly find myself thinking of Reed again and remembering when we first met, how he called me hot. The memory causes my stomach to flip and my nerves to fizzle, jolting me out of my thoughts. Blinking at my reflection, I quickly pull my hand away from my hair. I shake my head at the thought that just crossed my mind. What am I thinking? I do not care what Reed thinks of me.

  I turn from the mirror and get dressed, finding it difficult to get Reed out of my thoughts. Instead of thinking about what he thought of how I looked, I find myself remembering the way Damien yanked him through the portal back in the forest and the desperation in his voice as he called to me for help. This triggers a memory I still cannot pull completely to the surface of my mind. Standing still for a moment, I close my eyes and concentrate as hard as I can, trying to remember the dreams I have been having and the voices I have been hearing. I am sure it is Reed, but I am still unable to decipher his words.

  A sudden thought occurs to me, one that probably would have soon had I not been so distracted by the queen and Willow. A spell to recall my memories may do the trick. Focusing on my magic, I begin to pull it from within. I envision the pure, white light surrounding me as I bring my palm up to my lips, ready to blow the spell into existence. I whisper the words I know by heart…

  Magical spirits of the wind, the earth, and the sea, help me remember the memory escaping me.

  Just as I am about to blow the spell across my palm, I hear a soft knock on the bathroom door, followed by Willow’s soft voice. “Poppy? Is everything okay?”

  My magic quickly pulls back, and the spell fades away before it can even begin to work. I push down my frustration, knowing it is not Willow’s fault. Refocusing on my task, I begin to pull my hair back as I answer her, “Yes, you may come in if you would like.”

  The door opens slowly before Willow peeks around it. “I have something for you.” She extends her hands to me, revealing my daggers lying in her palms.

  Snatching them up, I look them over, ensuring they have not been tampered with. I examine the blades thoroughly, gauging the sharpness and checking for scratches in the metal. Thankfully, they appear to be undamaged and still lethal. Just the weight of them in my hands is a relief. Satisfied and excited now, I look up at Willow who is watching with a look of horror on her face. Her eyes are riveted on the deadly daggers held so comfortably in my hands. Cringing, I quickly sheath them and remove them from her sight. “Thank you very much, Willow.”

  “Ready?” she asks pleasantly, though still showing a hint of hesitancy by the way her eyes dart around and she wrings her fingers together.

  “Yes. I am very eager to begin training.” I can already feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins and the need to fight coursing through my body. A stray thought crosses my mind: I hope we pass Holly in the hallway. Would it be worth it to be locked in one of the queen’s paintings over killing one of her favorite warriors? Maybe. I smile to myself.

  Glancing at Willow, I can tell my energy is contagious. She has an extra hop in her step, and her frown has turned to a smile on her face. We remain silent as we quickly make our way through the castle, both eager to see what awaits us. I still glance at the paintings on the walls, but for the first time I am not completely distracted by them. Instead, I am focused on navigating my way through the maze of hallw
ays as quickly as possible without getting lost.

  After one final turn, we reach a closed set of large, wooden double-doors covered in carvings of warrior fae in different battle poses. The detail is beautiful and fearsome, so detailed and intricate. I study them closely before listening. There is no noise coming from within the room, which indicates just how thick the doors are. I reach out to push one of the massive doors open, but Willow stops me with a soft hand on my shoulder. She then waves both open palms in front of her, causing the doors to swing slowly inward. This is the first time I have seen Willow use magic. The ease with which she has used it surprises me, and I realize then how powerful she must be. This makes me wonder for a moment why she is only a servant but then my thoughts scatter when the door finally opens all the way.

  Willow motions for me to step inside. I turn toward her, intending to ask if she is coming, but stop when I notice the group of fae standing on the other side of the room, one of them staring at me. Dressed in full battle gear, and wearing all-leather clothing for better protection against knife and sword wounds, he appears ready for a fight. In his hand he holds a deadly-looking sword with a deep blue blade, and his features remain fierce and intent. As much as I do not like to admit it, he is also one of the most handsome fae I have ever seen.

  Chapter Five

  With pale skin that almost glows in the light, chiseled features, and sinewy muscle, this fae is undeniably beautiful, making it difficult to look away, but a movement at my side draws my attention. Willow stands there, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She has her hands knotted before her and her head bowed. By her sudden shift in behavior, I know she did not miss my reaction to the male fae across the room.

  “Willow?” I ask softly, waiting for her to return her gaze to me before speaking again. She has pink tinged cheeks, and her eyes will not meet mine. “Are you okay?”

  She glances at the fae then back at me before staring at the ground once again. “Umm…yes, I think so.” Her voice is soft and fragile.

  So only she is able to hear what I say, I lean closer and whisper, “That is Gideon, is it not?”

  She nods her head but still does not make eye contact or speak.

  “He is very handsome. I understand why you might think I would like him.” I wait a moment for her to look up at me. “But I assure you, I am not interested in him at all.” I stare directly into her eyes and put as much emphasis on the last part of my statement as possible, hoping she can see and hear the truth.

  “Really?” she asks in disbelief.

  “Yes, really,” I reassure her again.

  “But you can’t know for certain. You haven’t even met him yet. You’ve only seen him. That alone stopped you right in your tracks.” She lifts her chin, daring me to deny her observation. I like the small amount of spunk I am finally sensing in her. I make a mental note to try and coax more of that out of her if I remain here longer.

  “Yes, I admit I was a bit stunned when I saw him, but appearances are not everything. And the simple fact that my friend has already told me of her interest in him takes away any possibility for an attraction to develop." I pause for a moment, giving my words a chance to sink in before I continue, "You are my friend, Willow. I would never be interested in someone you already care for.”

  The sadness finally fades from her eyes, and a bright smile takes over her face. She reaches out, taking my hand in hers before squeezing it softly. “You truly are a good friend, Poppy.”

  Initially, I fight the urge to pull away when she touches me, but I overcome the instinct and squeeze back, smiling in return. “Shall we?” I ask with a nod toward Gideon and all the other fae on the other side of the room. All of which are now staring at Willow and I. There are only five of them along with Gideon, but they appear quite intimidating standing together. I glance at Willow again, who is still hesitant, but she nods her head, giving me the okay to proceed.

  As we make our way across the room, I gaze around, taking everything in. The massive room has the overall appearance of the rest of the seelie castle. Beneath our feet lies a beautiful light blue marble floor with veins of white and silver threading throughout it, making it sparkle and glint in the natural light, almost as if tiny crystals are scattered on it. White walls with intricate molding along the top and bottom surround us, accented by massive, white marble columns in each corner. This room remains beautiful like the rest of the castle, but the absence of paintings and flowers is obvious. In fact, it is completely bare of any decoration and seems to be sectioned off into different areas. By looking at the sections, I can assume what each is used for, but I am sure Gideon or one of his friends will insist on showing me. I smirk a little at the thought. As different as the fae are from humans, there is still one very distinct similarity. A lot of male fae, especially warriors, do not think too highly of female fae training and becoming warriors. This group will likely not be any different, and I cannot wait to prove them wrong.

  After scanning the room, I return my attention to the awaiting group. Gideon and his friends stare at us as we walk toward them. They all appear to be studying us, some with narrowed eyes, and others with surprise or interest. I almost roll my eyes at the ones with interest. My action immediately makes me think of Reed and all the bad habits I seemed to have picked up from him. Not only do I find myself resisting the urge to roll my eyes but I also find myself questioning everything about my life; My friends, my upbringing, and even the ways of my court. These thoughts of course stir up memories of my dreams and of Reed. I know the two are related and desperately wish to find out what they mean.

  I am pulled from my thoughts though as we finally find ourselves standing in front of Gideon and the other fae. By the gazes still on me, I realize that while my thoughts were wandering, the room remained silent and we were being studied. The silence did not bother me before, but now it is getting awkward, and I am sure it is probably making Willow nervous. She is not used to being noticed at all, much less holding the attention of six male warrior fae. I squeeze her arm before whispering, “It is okay.” She glances up at me, I wink back at her, and she takes a breath before smiling back.

  We both then turn our attention to Gideon, who offers a friendly nod before breaking the silence. “Well, hello, Willow. Who’s your friend?” I’m not surprised to hear Gideon’s voice sounds smooth and confident. However, the musical tone that echoes both soothing and peaceful in my ears, does surprise me. I had expected arrogance or mockery.

  Willow glances up at him but then looks away before speaking. “H…Hi Gideon. Th…This is Poppy.” She motions with her hand between the two of us. “Poppy, I would like you to meet G…Gideon.” Her voice started out small and quiet, but she pulled herself together when giving the queen's order: “The queen wishes for you to train with her today.”

  Gideon offers his hand for me to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Poppy.” I stare at his outstretched hand for a second, considering not shaking it, but push the thought aside. Although I am not a fan of being touched, I do not wish to be rude; especially when I know he and the queen are both being unnecessarily hospitable.

  I quickly grasp his hand before releasing it just as fast. “Nice to meet you as well, Gideon.” Looking around the room, I say, “This is a very impressive training room.”

  “Thanks. We’re proud of this space. Would you like me to show you around? I’m sure you’re familiar with most of this, but I wouldn’t be a good host if I didn’t give you a proper tour.” He offers a polite smile and continues, “Then we can begin training.”

  I offer a return smile, once again hiding my surprise at the fact he is not only polite but apparently aware of who I am and what I can do.

  “Yes, that would be fine.”

  Gideon turns to Willow and asks, “Are you going to stay and watch the training today?”

  She is startled by the invitation and unable to speak, so I do for her. “Yes, she will. Once we are finished here, we have matters to attend t
o. Right, Willow?”

  Willow continues to stare at us for a moment before she is able to find her voice. “Yes. I would enjoy watching. Where can I sit?” She glances around for a seat.

  One of Gideon’s friends steps up immediately. “Follow me. I’ll show you.”

  “Thank you.” She smiles at me before following him over to a wooden bench, set over to the side of the main open floor. Thankfully, it appears to be out of the way of any possible danger during training; although I know there is a bit of fire somewhere inside of Willow, I am quite sure she will not turn out like Rho has, displaying hidden combat capabilities and a warrior’s toughness. Willow will need to be protected.

  Once seated, she looks up at me, offering a small smile and wave. I wave back and then turn my attention to Gideon, who waits patiently by my side.

  “Shall we?” I ask him, nodding toward the closest area of the training room.

  “Yes.” He smiles and offers his arm for me to grasp. I hesitate once again, but he has been very pleasant; I do not wish to offend him. After I place my hand lightly at the crook of his elbow, we walk toward the area I indicated.

  “You seemed surprised when I said you were probably familiar with what everything was. Why?” Gideon once again manages to surprise me with his question and his insight.

  “Well, most male fae do not view females as equal. Often I am treated as if I do not know what I am doing—until I prove myself, that is.”

  “Ahh,” he says as if he understands, which I doubt, but when he continues, he proves me wrong. “You will find the seelie court very different from what you’re used to. The queen doesn’t judge anyone of her court by their gender, age, or social status. She bases her opinion on a fae’s individual abilities, honor, and personality. The rest of the court follows her example. We are not quick to judge and only do so on what we are shown by the individual.”