God, yes. Everything was wrong. She'd fallen in love with a man who had serious commitment issues, was a known philanderer, and whom she had lied to. Despite all that, he made her happy, and she experienced more joy with him than she had ever known. Brent helped her to attempt new things. And with him, she had come to accept being herself.
Yet she was the biggest fool for lying to herself.
"The only thing wrong is that you've quit kissing me," she gasped, knowing she needed to tell him the truth. No longer could she keep the secret of the past from him and play this sexual game with the stakes being her heart. No longer could she fool herself into believing that she didn't love Brent.
His mouth covered hers as his tongue swept between her lips.
Later she would tell him everything. Later she would confess all about that starry night on Lake Palestine. But not now when she could experience Brent once more.
His fingers found her thighs, and he pushed her dress out of the way, past her waist. He pulled her fully onto his lap, her legs hanging on either side of his. His erection pressed against her center as she arched against him, needing to feel more, needing him deep inside her.
Somewhere, sometime, she had let her heart get involved, and though she loved him, with a man like Brent that could mean catastrophe. Still, tonight he had come to her, so maybe he wasn't as immune to their attraction as he wanted to pretend.
Maybe if they took things slow he would realize they could overcome his commitment issues. Maybe he would come to love her as much as she loved him.
Stop! No more lying to herself. She’d be grateful for the here and now. Thinking past this moment could be dangerous.
His fingers slipped beneath her silk panties and he touched her center. She gasped, breaking the seal of their lips, her thoughts shattering as he gently massaged the core of her femininity.
She slipped her hands inside his shirt, stroking his muscled chest, moving her hands down to his waist, where his jeans hindered her from reaching what she really wanted to touch.
Blindly, she reached for the button on his jeans. In a matter of moments, she unbuttoned his waistband and eased down the zipper, the noise seeming loud in the small office.
All the while he stroked her, making her crazy with want for him. She reached inside his pants and pulled out his penis.
She caressed him while he made her moan with passion for him, only him. No other man could crack the sensible walls she'd built around herself, melt her resistance until she acted so wildly. No other man pierced the armor surrounding her heart, leaving her vulnerable to his affections. Only Brent had shown her how much he cared about the people of Tyler, and she had fallen, not for the kid from high school, but for the man he had become.
She broke their kiss with a gasp. "Condom? Please tell me you have a condom."
"Yes," he breathed, his mouth trailing kisses down her neck and sending delicious shivers through her. She wanted a quick coupling to somehow ease this hungry feeling.
He reached in his back pocket and yanked out his wallet, then located a Mylar packet.
Quickly he tore it open and sheathed himself.
He sat back down on her desk. He grasped her hips as he lifted her up and set her on top of him. With a sigh, she slid down his shaft, her body opening to welcome him. Pleasure erupted at the feel of him deep within her and a sense of belonging came over her.
"You feel so wonderful," she whispered when he had entered her completely.
"You too," he sighed as he grasped her hips and helped her raise and lower herself on him. She threw her head back, and his mouth found her breast through her blouse. He teased her nipple with his lips through the silk, and she seized his head, holding him to her breast, loving the way he made her feel.
With increasing tension, she rode him until the muscles in her legs begin to quiver. When he realized her strength was ebbing, he wrapped her legs around him and stood. He turned and laid her out on the desk amidst her paperwork. With her hips on the edge of the desk, Brent stood, her body still tightly surrounding his erection.
With his hands on her hips, he plunged into her again and again, each thrust deeper and stronger than the last until she felt her body spiraling and tensing out of control. Her breathing all but stopped as he thrust her over the edge, her hands clutching his as if he were her lifeline.
"Brent!" she cried as the world splintered and shattered around her.
His own pleasure came at the same time as he thrust into her willing body, crying out his release. He slumped on top of her, his head only reaching the top of her chin, her legs still wrapped around him.
For a moment she lay unmoving, trying to recoup while the sound of a saxophone drifted on the scent of roses.
She wondered at her daring. She marveled at the sense of love for this man that pervaded her. She questioned what they had just shared. But the feel of Brent as he lay against her, spent, gave her a sense of completion and satisfaction she'd never experienced before. She loved him, and the thought brought tears to her eyes.
For now she had to risk it all by telling him the truth about that night fifteen years ago when all she wanted was to continue this peaceful satisfaction.
Would he care that she'd been the one that he'd slept with, not Julia? Would he be angry she'd never told him before tonight? Would he wonder why she’d kept this secret all these years? Or would he simply laugh and find her story amusing?
Jennifer propped herself up on her elbows. "Hey, you okay?"
He grunted. "I’m giving up medicine to become a full-time plumber!"
“Right,” she said, suddenly feeling nervous about what they’d just done. "We’d better get dressed. Occasionally security does stop by, and we're in a compromising position that could get us both fired."
"Yeah, but what a way to go," he said, as he leaned up and looked at her, his green gaze filled with warmth. "I guess I should move, but its nice being here with you like this. We have great sex together."
Yes, they did, but was that all it was to him? Great sex? Nothing more?
She smiled, her heart aching. He just needed some time. She reached up to lovingly tuck a piece of hair behind his ear. "Yes, sex with you is wonderful.”
God, how she wanted to tell him the truth that yes, sex was wonderful, but she loved him with all her heart. But somehow this didn’t seem like the right moment to confess her feelings.
Reluctantly he rose and turned away from Jennifer while he quickly disposed of the condom and finished dressing.
Jennifer sat up, slid off her desk and tried to pull herself back together as best she could. When she'd repositioned her clothing, she turned to face him.
"Look, we need to talk," she said, not wanting to spoil the mood, but knowing that the time to be honest had long since passed.
"Yes, we need to talk," he acknowledged, a serious expression on his face as he zipped up his pants. "I have something I have to tell you."
Loud music began to play from a cell phone strapped to the belt of his pants. He glanced down at the number and frowned. "Excuse me."
He answered the phone. "Dr. Moulton." He paused and turned his back to Jennifer. "Hi Charlotte."
Jennifer tried not to listen, but it was impossible in the small room.
"No, I'm not going to be home."
Jennifer could only hear one side of the conversation.
"I understand. You have a key; go by the house and do what you need to do."
He'd given this woman, Charlotte, a key? Who was she and why did she have a key to his house?
"Make a list of things that you think need to be done around the house and I'll hire a man to do the repairs. I don't have time to do them myself," he said, his voice all business.
Repairs?
"Sure, bring them by to look at the house tomorrow, I won't be home." He turned and glanced at Jennifer, obviously noting her confused expression.
"I'll drop by your office in the morning to sign the contract," he said and th
en paused, a concerned look on his face. "No, I don't start for a month, which will give me time to move."
A cold chill seized Jennifer. Needing the support, she sank down in her office chair.
Move? He was moving?
"All right, I'll see you tomorrow," he said and ended the call.
He stared at her, not saying anything. "I guess you heard. I accepted a position in Denver. I start in a month.”
She nodded, still unable to say anything, feeling like such a fool.
Her behavior could only be described as incredibly stupid and naïve, though he had never promised her anything. From the very beginning she had known that having sex with Brent was a huge risk, yet she’d taken the chance.
She opened her mouth to speak and nothing came out. How could she lie and congratulate him when she had just tonight realized she loved him? His commitment issues no longer mattered. He was leaving.
He stared at her, a peculiar look on his face. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
Brent was departing Tyler, but more importantly, he was leaving her behind. Stunned, she sat and stared at him.
What about them? What about the amazing sex they were both experiencing? Anger rolled through her, hot and insidious. God, she was a fool, and she had to get out of here now. She needed time to deal with his news.
“Congratulations,” she managed to get out. “You’ll be missed.” She glanced at her watch, trying to hide her emotions. “Look, I’ve got to get home.”
“What about your plumbing. Why don’t I meet you at the house?”
She felt overwhelmed by the bomb he’d just dropped and needed space and time away from him. In the last hour, she’d realized she loved him and learned he was moving to Colorado.
“Not tonight.” She glanced around the office, tears threatening. To hell with closing down her computer and putting her paperwork away. She had to escape before what little composure she had crumbled.
Calmly she walked over to the drawer where she kept her personal belongings, yanked it open, and pulled out her purse.
“I’ve got to run. I’ll see you tomorrow. Shut the door on your way out,” she managed before she fled down the hall, all but running from Brent.
Chapter Fourteen
Jennifer dashed out of the hospital through the employee parking lot to her car. He didn't care enough to stay or even want to deal with his commitment issues. He didn’t love her, and it didn’t matter if she was Julia or Jennifer, their time together had meant nothing to him and he was leaving.
She’d taken a chance on Brent and now would face the heartache that she had known was probable. If only she’d realized before this moment that she was falling in love with him. If only she hadn’t made love to him tonight.
Tears flowed down her cheeks as she started her car. She just needed to get home, where she could relax her guard and let all the hurt and anguish bottled inside consume her.
Blindly, she put the car in drive and pulled out of the hospital driveway. Obviously when she thought they were making love tonight, he’d only been interested in a great sexual relationship. And the worst part was she’d stupidly agreed that she was just in this relationship for the sex. If she’d been honest with herself, she would have realized that her feelings had been involved almost from the very beginning.
She couldn’t blame Brent, because she’d known all along that he was only interested in the sex, nothing permanent. She had no one to fault but herself for allowing her emotions to blind her. And now alone, she would face the heartache his leaving would bring.
She drove in a haze of tears and anguish, her mind dazed at her culpability, her heart broken.
Jennifer pulled into the driveway, relieved at being home. How many red lights had she run between here and the hospital? As she opened her car door, a blue sedan pull into her driveway, and blocked her in.
Brent stepped out of the rental car, and she groaned. She didn’t want to face him again tonight.
Quickly she wiped the tears from her cheeks so he wouldn’t see. There was no way she would let him into the lighted house.
He walked over to her. “Are you okay?”
“Sure,” she said, her voice quivering. “I’m fine.”
He frowned at her in the darkness. “You ran out of there so quickly after I told you that I was leaving.”
"Sorry, I'm a little stunned," she said, trying to buy herself some time. She wasn’t prepared for his following her home. "Congratulations on the job," she managed, though her tone didn't match her words.
He stopped within inches of her, his eyes searching her face. He reached out and touched her cheek with his fingers. “You’ve been crying.”
She licked her lips, unable to deny her tears and knowing any second she would start to cry again. There was no going forward from this point. They’d reached a dead end with only one solution.
Suddenly she knew she had to be honest with him or regret this day for the rest of her life.
"Tonight while we made love, I realized that I've been lying to myself about you. When you came through that door with that bag of parts for my toilet, blowing soap bubbles, a feeling came over me that I've never known before. I felt so happy to see you.” She swallowed the tears, suddenly feeling stronger. “With you I have fun. We laugh and tease one another. With you I abandon myself and try new things."
She wiped a tear away that escaped from her eye and then continued. "Tonight, I realized I was deceiving myself if I thought that I was just having sex with you. Yes, it’s great sex, but it's so much more for me."
Brent didn't say anything, but stared at her, his eyes reflecting his usual flight syndrome.
"And now you're telling me that you're moving to Denver. You've accepted another position." Jennifer paused. "Did you decide to take this job because of us?"
He stared at her for a moment, not saying anything. "It's a better opportunity for me."
"You didn't answer me, Brent. Are you running from me? From us?" she asked, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear it from him.
"We could still see each other occasionally," he said reluctantly, refusing to be direct.
Like a kick to her heart, she realized he didn't have a clue as to what he'd done. So set on not committing to anyone, he didn't realize that when she comprehended she loved him, she could no longer see him without the same level of involvement. She had way too much pride to wait for him to decide he wanted her in his life.
She shook her head. "No. If you're moving to Denver, it’s best for me that I end this relationship right here, right now."
For a moment he looked stunned. "Why?"
"Because you're not going to be here. I'm not going to sit by and wait, hoping that you'll change your mind and decide you want to commit to be in the same city, much less a relationship with me," she said honestly. "I knew when we became involved that you didn’t want a relationship, but I never intended to become serious with you. But now I am, and I have to protect my heart. It’s over."
"But I thought we were just having a good time," he said, his expression surprised.
She laughed sadly. "I was, but tonight I realized I want more. I want it all, the ring, the wedding, and the happily ever after. I want the home, the hearth, and the 2.5 kids. And with you, that's not possible. I love you, but I'm not willing to give up my dreams or wait on you to come to your senses."
He appeared shocked. "You love me?"
She nodded.
"I told you I could not give you forever after."
"That's true, and I take full responsibility for my emotions. I thought I was okay with us just having sex. But I'm not. I need a man who wants to spend more than his nights with me. I need someone who wants to spend every day with me, who loves me in return."
He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at her. In the streetlight that shined over the driveway, he appeared like a lost little boy. "So we're through?"
Jennifer nodded, for a moment unable to speak, her throa
t clogged with tears. Finally she recovered. "Yes, it's over. Have a great life in Denver."
She turned her back to him and walked the longest five yards of her life, her heart shattering with each step. Tears blinded her as she took the steps that led into the house. Quickly she opened the door and went inside, great sobs coming from her as she closed the door on Brent and any hopes she had of a life with him.
Later she realized she never told him about that night in high school. And maybe, after so many years, the secret from their past was best carried to the grave.
Brent watched his father instruct his latest girlfriend, a young blonde in her thirties, on the golf course. His father wrapped his arms around the woman and lined up her body in the right position to swing a golf club. He whispered something in her ear and she giggled and snuggled into his embrace.
"I’ve never played before. Would you help me with my golf swing,” Leslie mimicked the blonde.
Brent glanced over at Leslie, who occupied the other seat in the golf cart, and realized she was making fun of the golfers.
"I don't think he's giving her lessons. I think he's copping a feel," Brent said, thinking no one should ever have to witness his parent in a dating situation.
“Duh, that’s obvious,” Leslie said, leaning her chin on her elbows and looking bored. "And she’s very willing to give him what he wants. Do you think he’s told her he has money or something?"
Brent shrugged. “Who knows?”
He gazed out at the spectacle his aging father was making with his much younger girlfriend. What a poignant reminder of his reasons for never marrying. At the moment he didn't even like women.
After the break-up with Jennifer, he had spent the last week giving his notice at the hospital and notifying his patients. All in all, it had been a long, terrible week during which he had begun to doubt his every decision.
His father's girlfriend swung the club, connecting with the ball and sending it flying close to one hundred feet. She jumped up and down squealing, her voice grating against Brent’s last nerve.
The woman must sound awful in bed. God, he was such a grump. Nothing and nobody made him happy since Jennifer ended their…
My Sister's Boyfriend (The Trouble With Twins 1) Page 16
