by Anna Lee
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
Lexie gave him the ‘oh no, you didn’t’ look. His sister was practically his twin in appearance and personality, although they were a year apart. She wore her blonde hair in a pixie cut with a streak of pink. Today she was wearing khaki capris, a baby-doll tank top and her usual flip-flops. She was almost always laidback and casual. At thirty, she had her life all worked out—a job she loved, two kids and a husband. If she weren’t his sister, he probably would’ve been jealous, but since she was, he was just happy for her. Even though she often nagged—out of love, she said—about him getting his act together.
“Really? You look like the Mets won the Super Bowl.”
He groaned. “It’s the World Series, and I do not.”
“Whatever.” She waved her hand. “Spill, you know I’ll get it out of you.”
Giving her a mock glare, he answered, “Fine, you remember the guy I told you about?”
“Hottie from the coffee shop?” His sister gasped. “Oh, my God, did you finally stop being a chicken and tell him you want to jump his bones?”
“Lexie,” he said, drawling her name out. “What are you, twelve?”
“It’s my kids, they keep me young.” She gave him a grin. “So, did you?”
“No, I was a complete idiot and totally stuck my foot in my mouth.”
“Aw, little bro.” She put her arm around his shoulder. “You’re such a liar. Why would you be grinning if he said no?”
“He invited me to his place for dinner even after I did that.” Kason turned toward her. He really wanted to tell her what happened, but it was fun to tease her and pretend he didn’t. “And then I kissed him.”
“Shut up!” She pushed him playfully. “He must be a hell of a kisser to have you grinning like that.”
He rolled his eyes. “Like I’d tell you.”
“Fine, I’ll just check out your tweets.” Lexie snapped her fingers. “Or better yet, I’ll tweet about it.”
Groaning again, he dropped his head into his hands. “You love to torment me, don’t you?”
“I’m a mom. I gotta have some fun.” She hugged him, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I’m glad he asked you. It’s about time you join the real world again.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t help myself. There’s just something about him, but I don’t want another mistake, Lex. I’m not sure I can take it.”
“You’re the strongest guy I know.” His sister’s voice softened. “And I don’t care what you say—if this one hurts you he’s going to wind up on a missing persons list.”
Laughing, he shook his head. “You’re too much.”
“You love me.” She pointed as the kids gathered together by the pool. “Oh, finally, they’re almost ready.”
Emily waved at them as she bounced excitedly on her feet. Her long strawberry blonde hair was braided and she wore a navy blue swimsuit. She was only eight and had been his little ray of sunshine during his recovery. She sat with him, playing games and listening to him read, keeping him from getting too down. After Blake had left, she and her brother Luke had become the center of his world. He spent all his time with them, when he wasn’t working on his screenplay or graphic designing, doing what he could. He enjoyed the time they spent together since they were growing up so fast.
“Go get ’em, Ems!”
Emily gave him a thumbs-up, and he grinned. He turned his attention back to Lexie. “I want this, a family, I mean. I’m almost thirty. I thought I would have one by now, but then…”
“I think it was a blessing in disguise,” Lexie told him and Kason almost gaped at her. But then Kason thought about it and wondered if she was right. Lexie continued on, “Look, Blake turned out to be a world-class jerk. Yes, you’re in a wheelchair now, but so what? It’s not who you are and it didn’t change you.” She caught his gaze. “What does hottie coffee guy say about it?”
“He doesn’t even care about it. And his name is Ryen.” Kason knew how happy he sounded when he said that. It was all he really wanted, to be noticed and loved for who he was without the chair being the center of attention. “He wanted to hire a hit man to take Blake out.”
Lexie laughed and so did he. “Kas, I think he might be a keeper. I like him already.”
“Well that’s half the battle then, isn’t it?” He ducked as she swatted him. “I like him too, and PS, I think there were fireworks going off when I kissed him.”
Lexie whistled. “Damn, you’re going to have a good night.”
Kason sure hoped so.
Chapter Two
Kason showed up early at Ryen’s. He hated being late and it took him time to get in and out of his chair from his Audi, plus he had to figure out where the ramps and the elevators were. Ryen’s apartment was on the third floor of a six-story red brick building with limestone balustrades. The Regency Apartments were in a nice, well-kept neighborhood. Trees lined the sidewalk and there was landscaping all around the complex. Ryen buzzed him in then met him at the elevator, giving him a tour all the way to his apartment. He had a boxer named Brutus, whose whole body shook in excitement when they entered. Before Kason knew it, he had a lap full of dog as Brutus tried to lick him until Ryen apologized and pulled the boxer off him. Ryen had Brutus follow him out to the balcony where he made Brutus lay down inside a doghouse before Ryen came back inside.
“Sorry, he’s not used to me having company.”
Something about that made Kason feel good and a bit special that he had been invited here. Ryen’s apartment had a lived in, comfortable feel to it. The floors were a dark wood and there was a big bay window with a gorgeous view of the river. A leather sofa, an overstuffed recliner and a flat screen filled in the living area. A fireplace stood off to the side and the shelves lining the walls held books, family photos and baseball memorabilia. Kason was relieved to see Ryen was a fan of the Mets.
“It’s no problem. I love dogs and he’s pretty cool.”
“Thanks, he was my brother’s dog.” Ryen turned and gestured to the kitchen and Kason followed. “C’mon, I just need to finish up a few things. It’s almost ready.”
Taking in the sleek, modern kitchen with black granite countertops and all sorts of appliances and gadgets, Kason realized Ryen must know his way around the kitchen.
“Okay. So, are you just watching him for the weekend?”
“Nah, he’s mine now. Julie couldn’t handle both him and two kids without Logan.” Ryen walked to the stove and lifted the lid on a pan then stirred the contents with a wooden spoon.
By the way Ryen had said it and how he was holding himself, Kason knew that something bad had happened to Ryen’s brother. That thought made him incredibly sad.
“I’m sorry for prying. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Ryen glanced back at him, his hand clenching around the spoon. Kason could see the tears in Ryen’s eyes. “We joined the Marines together. Did two tours in Afghanistan. I came back…”
“He didn’t.” Kason found it hard to speak as he saw Ryen’s heartbreak. “I am so sorry, Ryen.”
“Julie was pregnant when we left and Jack was only three. I stepped in to help her, took over the coffee shop when my dad had a stroke and put my life on hold. My family needed me.” Ryen pinched the bridge of his nose. “They still do. Not too many get that.”
“I do.” Kason wished he could stand up and wrap Ryen in his arms. He settled for grabbing Ryen’s hand and tugging him down until he could hug him tightly.
Kneeling down, Ryen went willingly into the embrace, and for a moment buried his face in Kason’s neck.
“If you’re taking care of everyone, who’s taking care of you?” Kason ran his hand down Ryen’s back, thinking that he wanted to be that person even if it was only as a friend.
“No one, really. What you said earlier to me, a lot of that hit home.” Ryen pulled back and gave him a watery smile. “I miss Logan like crazy, but I’m learning to cope. Some days i
t feels like it happened yesterday rather than two years ago.”
“That’s all we can do.” Kason ran his thumb under Ryen’s eye. “I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“It was hell.” Ryen’s voice shook. “I was injured pretty badly too. They gave me an honorable discharge and, well, here I am.”
The thought of never meeting Ryen if he had lost his life shook Kason to the core, especially since he knew he himself was lucky to be there as well. They had both come so close to losing it all. It was another connection to one another. “I’m glad you are.”
“Me too.” Ryen kissed him softly. “You, I mean. That ex of yours was an idiot to let you go when he still had you.”
“His loss.” Kason gazed at Ryen, thinking of what Lexie had said earlier. “I’m starting to realize I can do a hell of a lot better and deserve it too.”
“You do.” Ryen stood up. “Lemme get the gravy before it burns.”
“What are we having?”
“Chicken croquettes topped with gravy, mashed potatoes and parsnips with caramelized onion green beans.”
Kason whistled. “Damn, are you a chef?”
“I want to be.” Ryen went back over to the stove and turned the burner off.
“Cool.”
Falling silent, Kason moved back out of the way to watch Ryen effortlessly put their plates together. He followed him to the dining area and parked under the dark wood table. Ryen poured him a glass of red wine. They toasted to new beginnings, then Ryen waited expectantly as Kason took a bite of the croquette. It was delicious and practically melted in his mouth. If Ryen was trying to seduce him with the meal, it was going to be easy. He was a sucker for good food.
“I’ve never tasted anything this delicious.” Kason shoveled in another bite. “Wow.”
Ryen beamed as he picked up his fork. “And there’s dessert too.”
“Oh, my God, really?” Ryen was spoiling him and he loved it. “You know you’re going to get lucky tonight, right?”
“I was hoping I would.” Ryen winked at him. “Chocolate-dipped strawberries sound good?”
Covering a moan by drinking the wine, Kason nodded as he pictured licking the chocolate from Ryen’s fingers. “Really good.”
They started talking as they ate, sharing and getting to know each other. Ryen told him more about himself, Logan and his family.
“Logan always had my back,” Ryen said, voice strained. “When I told my parents I was gay, my dad nearly disowned me… Logan wouldn’t let him. Said if Dad did that he’d lose both his sons.”
“Wow, Logan was an awesome brother.” Kason reached over and squeezed Ryen’s hand. “My mom knew before I did that I was gay. Lexie swears she did too. They were both supportive. I can’t imagine what you went through with your dad.”
“It was rough, but I know he loves me even if he doesn’t understand.” Ryen cleared his throat. “What about your dad?”
“Split when I was a baby so I guess I’ll never know what he would think. Not that I would care anyway.” Kason decided a change in subject was needed. “Tell me more about joining the Marines.”
It turned out that Ryen was two years older than Kason. He recalled some of his better times in the Marines. “Afterward I became passionate about cooking. After losing Logan and being discharged, it gave me an outlet and was a big stress reliever.”
Kason could relate. “Writing has been my outlet since the accident. I used to work in a business firm’s IT department, but afterward I wanted to go after my dream and do something that made me happy, y’know?” His settlement from the injury had allowed him to quit and do that. He also built websites and did graphic design, which gave him a steady income.
“Yeah, I do.”
“You know what I really miss?”
“What’s that?”
“Playing baseball. I was a right fielder in an amateur league. That used to be my passion,” Kason admitted with a sigh.
“I’m sorry you can’t play anymore.” Ryen twined their fingers together and kissed Kason’s palm. “Will you tell me about what happened? Don’t leave anything out, I wanna know.”
It was tough to talk about, but he was ready to tell Ryen because it was the first time Kason felt like someone outside of his family actually wanted to understand rather than pity him or act like they cared when they didn’t.
“I’ll never forget that night,” Kason whispered. “It was like two a.m., and I got a call from my buddy, Milo. He had gotten into this huge fight with his boyfriend who had left him stranded outside a club. I was scared for him so I promised I’d come get him. Blake wouldn’t go with me. He stayed home and said it was Milo’s problem, not his.”
“Jerk.”
“I remember the car hitting me from the side and then it’s all fuzzy.” Kason took a sip of wine to calm his nerves. The panic of that moment resurfaced and it was only Ryen who kept him from getting lost in it. “When I woke up, I heard Blake and Lex fighting. She said he should have been with me and he said…he said that he was glad he wasn’t because then we’d both be screwed.”
“Kason…” Ryen reached for his hand then growled. “You gotta give me his address so I can go kick his ass.”
“It wouldn’t do any good.”
“No, but I’d feel better.”
While he wasn’t a man of violence, Kason liked that Ryen was protective of him, yet he didn’t want him thinking he was weak or couldn’t take care of himself. “I could’ve done that if I wanted to, y’know.”
“I know.”
“He wasn’t worth it, though, and I knew then we wouldn’t last,” Kason admitted for the first time out loud. “He didn’t love me. If he did he would’ve said he should’ve been in that car or…”
“Taken your place in a heartbeat,” Ryen finished for him and he nodded.
Kason’s breath caught when Ryen leaned over to kiss him, lips lingering for a long minute, leaving Kason breathless and his heart thudding.
“I would have,” Ryen added. “That’s what you do for someone you care about, right?”
Finding it hard to speak, Kason kissed him again. He had never really believed that love could happen easily, that he could see a person and simply know, but he had never felt like this before. Never shown up day after day to talk to a cute guy and hoped he would notice the spark between them. He wasn’t the type to talk about his feelings or be affectionate, not until now. Since meeting Ryen, he realized that he had been wrong about a lot of things, and everything he’d thought he knew about love was wrong. It was going to take time, but Kason knew this was the start of something good. His past, his accident, Blake, everything he had been through didn’t matter anymore because it had led him here.
“There’s a big difference between the two of you. I wouldn’t want you to go through this.”
Ryen held onto his hand as they finished their meal. Afterward, Ryen got the strawberries and they took turns feeding each other the dessert, licking and kissing away the chocolate before Ryen suggested they move to the couch.
“So, you wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure. Do you have Netflix or something?” Kason joked. A movie was the last thing on his mind. He wanted Ryen and more of his kisses.
“Yep.” Ryen stopped Kason as he wheeled into the living room. He cupped the back of Kason’s head with his hand as he leaned down for a passionate kiss.
After wrapping his arms around Ryen’s neck, Kason kissed him back. Surprised and turned on, he was suddenly picked up by his waist and held against Ryen’s firm chest. He moaned when Ryen grabbed the back of his thighs, bending his legs so they went around Ryen as he carried Kason to the couch. The sheer strength and ease of it had Kason melting into Ryen’s embrace.
Ryen set him down then straddled his hips. Reaching for the hem of Kason’s shirt, he broke the kiss long enough to lift it over his head and toss it aside. The cool air hit Kason and he shivered, pressing into Ryen as his soon-to-be lover kissed along his jaw to h
is ear, nipping the lobe.
“Forget the movie. I wanna suck you off, baby.”
“Fuck, yes.” Kason dropped his head back on the couch as Ryen continued on his path, kissing his neck. He nipped and sucked at his throat, leaving what was sure to be a hickey later. Ryen slid off his lap, dropping to his knees on the floor as he helped Kason spread his legs.
Splaying his hands on Kason’s hips, Ryen kissed his chest. He moved to the left, drawing a nipple into his mouth and tonguing it. Kason gasped and tangled his fingers in Ryen’s hair, pressing him closer to show he wanted more. He whimpered in disappointment when Ryen let go, only to cry out again when Ryen latched onto his other nipple, giving it the same treatment and making Kason’s whole body thrum with pleasure. He watched through hooded eyes as Ryen kissed down his stomach and pulled him toward the edge of the couch.
Ryen undid the button then lowered the zip of his jeans. Kason was already half-hard and he could feel the pre-cum staining his briefs as Ryen laved his cock through the thin cotton.
“Oh, God.”
It had been so long. So long since anyone had given him pleasure. For a moment that insecurity came back. The disappointment in Blake’s eyes as he’d had trouble getting aroused swam before him. The upset at not having full control of his legs, the inability to wrap them around his partner, or drop to his knees… Blake had hated that he wasn’t the same in bed as before. He had said so repeatedly. He loosened his grip on Ryen.
“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” Ryen rubbed his hip, his eyes full of concern.
“Sometimes I need a little extra simulation,” he whispered, trying to hide his embarrassment. “I’m sorry if I—”
“Hey, what are you apologizing to me for?” Ryen kissed his stomach. “Didn’t it feel good? I don’t mind taking my time with you, baby. We got all night to do whatever we want.”
“I can’t do some things,” he said in a rush, closing his eyes as he felt the hot sting of tears. “I don’t want you to be disappointed—”
“Stop.” Ryen surged up and cupped his face. “Open your eyes and look at me, please.”
