by Cara Lake
She opened her eyes and he was still lying on the bank but he had turned to face her, on his side, one knee bent his head resting on one palm. He was looking at her with concern. “Are you all right, Red?” he queried. “Enjoying the view?”
Tani caught the faint amusement in his voice. He knew she was affected by his nakedness and was deliberately baiting her. She decided to ignore it. They would reach Serpens soon and she wouldn’t have to see him again. He would go back to being a slave and she would be with Lorcan. A vise tightened in her chest. Before she could consider that reaction Tani’s eyes alighted on something that sent her heart skittering, pinpricks of confusion racing across her skin. Goose bumps.
“Jaro!” Tani exclaimed, her eyes not believing what she was seeing. She swam toward the bank and pulled herself out of the pool, standing in front of him to get a closer look. “What’s that on your hip?” Jaro looked down at the scar on his hip where the flesh had been gouged away. The scar had almost healed but in the process a small circular mark had appeared, a mark that was more than just evidence of where the wound had been. “I don’t know.” He rubbed a thumb over the dark mark. “It’s etched in.”
“It’s a Taijitu,” said Tani. “The mark of an Esseni.” Jaro frowned.
Tani’s brain kicked into overdrive. “But that’s not possible…” she whispered.
“Oh yeah and why not? Why shouldn’t I be one? Who’s to say I’m not an Esseni? I’ve only just discovered I’m a saevici, after all,” he challenged angrily.
“It’s not that. It’s just…it’s just that your mark is in the same place as your brother’s—and mine.” Now why had she told him that? It had taken her days to confess to Lorcan. She waited for the fear to choke her, but it didn’t. Did she actually trust Jaro not to sell her to the Discordants? She had stupidly blurted out something that gave him power over her.
Jaro shot a glance at her. “You have one?” Reluctantly, Tani lifted the corner of her vest, revealing the circular Taijitu symbol tattooed above her hipbone. “Your brother is my partner duality,” she said slowly. Jaro’s mercury eyes pierced her gaze. “It looks like we’re a trio,” he said coolly from beneath raised brows.
“But that’s impossible! Besides, for the Taijitu to manifest we have to have kissed and that we certainly haven’t.”
“Haven’t we?” he drawled sardonically, his eyes gleaming up at her with smug satisfaction as if he knew something she didn’t. Tani stared down at him as if he were mad. “I’ve only just met you and I really think I would remember if something like that had happened!”
“Really?” Jaro shook his head. “What a short memory you have. I for one have very vivid memories of a hot redhead throwing herself at me in the alley outside the Alpha Beta Club.”
A wave of fire licked over her as Tani realized what he was implying. “Gaia!” she whispered. “It…it…was you…n-not Lorcan!” Tani’s brain threatened to implode. If what Jaro was saying was true, then Lorcan had misled her. Not just misled her but lied to her! If what Jaro was saying were true—he was the one who made her burn. A tornado of chaos began churning in her head. It was Jaro who had kissed her senseless in the alley and then left her hanging—his expression of desire she remembered so vividly. None of that was Lorcan. Or was it? She couldn’t be sure now which memory was which. When had it been Lorcan? When had it been Jaro? The bazaar? The brothel? And why would Lorcan lie? There had to be a reason for it. He was such a gentle soul. It must have been for her protection. She was so confused.
Tani reached the bank and climbed out, the chill of the water settling on her skin even though the three suns were hot. Icy panic chilled her veins, her brain trying to sort through the tangled memories and make some sense of it. “I have to say, Red.” Jaro’s voice broke into the web of her thoughts. “Even though you’re a bit skinny for my liking—I did enjoy that kiss and other things.” He was smirking at her again, lifting two fingers to remind her how she had responded to his touch, his crude gesture and arrogant expression stoking her fury at the deception and lies. But then another thought crashed into her.
“Why did you stop?” she asked, suddenly desperate for clarity. Jaro’s eyes darkened, his brows furrowed in an angry frown. “You said his name.” Jaro’s tone bit into her chest, the raging undercurrent evident. He wasn’t as indifferent to her as he would have her believe.
“But you could have taken me,” she pointed out honestly. “I didn’t know you weren’t Lorcan, I…I…” Her voice broke as she realized what she was saying. “I would have let you.”
Silver eyes captured hers with an intensity that had her reeling. “When I do take you, Red, I want you screaming my name and no one else’s.”
Tani’s heart lodged in her throat and a churning, fluttering excitement swirled at her core, heat diffusing a blush to her cheeks. To be taken by him! Gaia preserve her! She realized, a chill of fear ripping into her gut, she wanted that. She wanted him. And Lorcan? At that moment Lorcan was a vague indistinct blur and even though they were identical, it was Jaro’s harsh, beautiful face that filled her vision. “But don’t worry,” he continued, his words turning the heat in her veins to ice water. “Like I told you before, you’re not my type—but I could stoop to a pity fuck if you’re really desperate.”
A wall of heated fury overcame the ice. He was an arrogant bastard. She didn’t want him. Not really. If Lorcan were here she would feel even more intensely for him, she was sure of it. Jaro was a shadow Esseni. That must be it. Usually, more than one person had the potential to contain one of the essences, ready to take up the mantle if the stronger potential should die. The essence and therefore the aura would be stronger in one above all others.
Her eyes darted back to Jaro. He had relaxed back into his prone position, eyes closed. Tani concentrated her energy to her center, using her wiccani powers, and focused on reading his aura. It didn’t take long to materialize. His aura was strong. Dark red laced with black, evidence of hate and all the negative emotions that were the opposite of hers. Okay, so his aura was strong, but Lorcan’s must be stronger. It was all too confusing! Tani jumped up, irritated by his indifference and her crazy reaction to him. She dragged her dry shirt over her damp skin, picked up Jaro’s clothes and hurled them at his naked body. “We need to go!” she snapped. He sat up quickly, a bemused expression on his face. “And by the way, Jaro,” she said, just to clarify her position. “I would never be that desperate.”
She stomped away from him, eager to escape his disturbing presence. He was an uncouth criminal, a thief—a rapist, for Gaia’s sake! He was the last person she should be drawn to. As she increased the distance between them, a nagging stray thought kept intruding into her reasoning. Why? If Jaro was the black-hearted rapist everyone said he was, then why hadn’t he taken her? She had practically thrown herself at him in the alley and here and now she was completely vulnerable. He could overpower her easily. And his actions recently at the camp when he had protected her from rape by Belial’s men didn’t speak of a man who held women cheap. But she also knew, through Lorcan’s assertion, that he had fathered a child, a child conceived through rape and that he had then abandoned him. There were just so many confusing contradictions. And Jaro, Jaro was the most confusing one of all.
Chapter Nineteen
Desire
They were a day away from Serpens. Jaro had assured her they would reach the city by tomorrow afternoon. “I think I’ve discovered your secret,” he said.
Tani looked up from the task she was forcing herself to focus on in order to take her mind off Jaro. She was carving pointed tips onto branches to make spears so they could catch fish for breakfast in the morning. He was lying across from her, the fire crackling between them, reminding Tani of the constant heat that burned her skin whenever he came close.
“Oh yes and what secret is that?” she replied, surprised he was thinking about her at all.
“You’re on a mission for the Eunomi.” He dragged his body up so he was
sitting, his eyes probing hers for answers. “You came here looking for my brother, didn’t you? It wasn’t accidental; you were seeking your Esseni opposite, your other half.”
“And what if I was?”
He shrugged. “Nothing I guess. It’s a dangerous mission for a girl like you, that’s all. Ophiuchus is Discordant territory. There are very few Eunomi sympathizers here.”
“I’ve been on many missions, some more dangerous than this,” she said, her spine tensing at the implication she might be out of her depth.
His dark brows drew to a frown as if he guessed her annoyance. “I don’t doubt your skill or strength,” he said, surprising her, “but not everyone you meet is what they seem. Serpens is full of greedy individuals who would like nothing more than a slice of Esseni pie. And you are a very tempting dish.”
Tani’s heart beat faster. Was he saying he was tempted by her? His next words smashed that thought to dust. “Choronzon will pay a fortune for any Esseni, all of Serpens knows that.” Her lips pressed together, irritated by her reaction to him.
To counter the sting in his words, she answered by reminding not only Jaro, but herself of the reason she was here. “Lorcan will make sure that doesn’t happen.” She caught a glimpse of his eyes flashing with anger. He truly hated his brother.
“Are you really so sure of that, sure that Lorcan is the right one?”
“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate to reply but her eyes dropped to the ground. “Yes, I am sure. He’s my other half.” It sounded, even to her ears, as if she was trying to convince herself of that truth.
“So what am I?”
“You’re a shadow Esseni. You have some potential but his essence is stronger.”
“What if you’re wrong?” Jaro asked the question she had asked herself about a hundred times that day. “What if he’s the shadow?”
“I’m not wrong.” Tani sighed. She’d gone over this in her head already about a million times since the revelation of Jaro’s Taijitu. “Lorcan’s signature and aura were strong. He was the reason I came here.”
“But you could be wrong. How can you be so sure? Maybe something changed,” Jaro insisted, his tone dark and laced with something she didn’t understand.
“I’m not wrong. Nothing’s changed.” She shook her head as if declaring that made it absolute.
Jaro regarded her thoughtfully. Tani wriggled under the intensity of his gaze, the silver mercury of his eyes burning through her, as if he was trying to get a read on her soul. “So what are you the Esseni of?” he finally asked.
Tani hesitated. There was no harm in telling him. “Love.” Her amethyst eyes met silver, returning his scrutiny. “I am the Esseni of Love.”
Jaro’s brows flew upward. “Love!” he snorted. “A particularly useless emotion.” He paused as if struck by a puzzling thought. “That means Lorcan is Hate,” he mused. “How very…” His voice trailed off, the silver of his eyes reflecting the flickering flames of the fire that danced a mesmerizing tango, each heated flare fighting for control. Jaro sat so still she thought she had lost him to whatever thoughts had him conflicted. A wave of intense emotion rolled off him but it was a tangled web she couldn’t decipher. What was he thinking? “How very what?” she prompted.
“Nothing.” Jaro stood up but refused to look at her. He was clenching his fists, skin stretched, knuckles whitening. “I’ll be back in a minute.” His voice thick with the unnamed emotion, he sounded tired as he moved away from the fire. Tani watched him disappear into the trees, wondering what had affected his mood. She blew out a sigh. For some reason she didn’t like the thought of Jaro upset. He was a fighter. Stubborn. Intense. She would much rather he spent the evening arguing with her than spend it brooding.
Thirty minutes went by and Jaro still hadn’t returned. A sudden wave of panic that he had abandoned her washed through her bones and she sprang up to follow him. He wouldn’t have left her, would he?
It didn’t take long to find him, he hadn’t gone far. Jaro was crouched by the edge of the cliff; shoulders hunched, head bowed as if surveying the terrain below. He hadn’t heard her approach so she stilled, not wanting to intrude but aching to see what he would do.
A wild rush of air swept out from where he brooded, a web of choking emotion that speared through her lungs, leaving her gasping for breath. The anguish intensified, the overwhelming force of it slamming into her gut so hard that she nearly doubled over in agony. Tani’s body shook and she had to grab onto the nearest tree to keep from falling as her body registered the strength of his pain.
Jaro had to get away from her. Esseni of Love! Love! How utterly perfect! She was that and more, so much more. He couldn’t bear the thought of Lorcan with her. He had to walk away or he would have done something idiotic like telling her that he loved her. How stupid would that be? And if she was Love, then Lorcan was Hate. Now that he could believe. Lorcan had no love for others. He only loved himself. He was as selfish as their mother. He had tried to tell her what Lorcan was really like but he knew she didn’t believe him. And why would she? He had a reputation as a rapist and he was nothing but a slave. All consequences of his stupidity. He needed to stop protecting people in the hopes that one day maybe someone would take his side. How many times had he wished his mother or his brother would reach out and save him?
The intensity of his anger and fury toward both of them rose like a tsunami threatening to engulf his reason. The vicious hatred he held inside for what had been done to him, the betrayals he had endured swept a savage wave of rage to cloud his vision. His shoulders sagged as reality crashed in. It didn’t matter if he was angry. He could do nothing about his circumstances. He was forever tied to Phenex, bound by Ophiuchi law, unless he was sold or Phenex died. If Phenex died he would be the property of his heir. If Phenex were killed, all his slaves would automatically be ceded to the one who vanquished him. But for one of his slaves to kill him meant their own death. That was why no slaves on Ophiuchus ever rebelled against their masters. It was embedded in the oath they took to their masters when bonded by the power of warloki dark magick. If he killed Phenex, less than two minutes later his own heart would cease to beat. Maybe he should just do it and end his miserable existence.
A twig cracked beneath a soft footfall. She had followed him. Jaro turned and caught sight of her red hair blowing softly in the breeze as she stood watching him by the edge of the tree line. The fiery strands had him mesmerized as the moonlight bathed a radiant sheen of light that danced across her copper highlights, a golden halo dazzling him into submission. She was so utterly gorgeous she took his breath away. Then his heart stopped beating and Jaro nearly died. “Tani, don’t move!” he growled, holding up his hand, gesturing her to stay still.
“What?” Tani almost jumped in surprise and shock at his use of her proper name but she did as he said. He uncurled slowly, his body moving stealthily toward her with all the predatory grace of a hunting beast. “Stay still!” he cautioned quietly, his voice a whisper as he circled to her left, eyes focusing on a spot just above her head. She remained motionless, heart pounding, adrenaline racing. She should be afraid. There must be something dangerous Jaro had seen that she could not. But her stillness had more to do with being hypnotized by watching Jaro move, her attention captured by his fluid motions, that of a hunter stalking its prey.
He drew close. Without warning he pounced, shoving her backward, hands grabbing at the spot above her head. She crashed to the ground, staring back in awe as Jaro grappled with the black elongated shape of a lacerti lizard. He was suffocating it with his bare hands, his body shimmering with light as he half shifted, his arms sprouting black hair and claws that ripped into the lizard’s body, tearing it in half. Black blood sprayed a river of thick tar across his chest.
Hands shifting back, he stood over her, covered in the creatures gore, a dark predator, the silvery glow of the moon shimmering in the mercury of his eyes. He stared at her for an intense moment that seemed to last forever and then tu
rned, walking silently away back toward the fire.
Tani was left shaking. Her breathing ragged, she gasped for air and then finding it, inhaled a couple of breaths to calm her nerves. She expelled a sigh of absolute relief. Jaro had saved her from certain death, the lacerti lizard’s venom one of the most toxic in the galaxy. Even a sanguini Healer would have been hard pressed to purge that poison.
She stood up still trembling, heart pounding as if having run a marathon, and wiping the dirt from her clothes, shakily followed the trail Jaro had forged back to the orange light of the fire. At first she couldn’t see him and panic set in. Maybe that had been the last straw and he had abandoned her for real this time.
Rustling from the undergrowth, a figure emerged from the trees in front of her. He was naked again, having divested himself of his bloodstained clothing. His chiseled body luminescent perfection, he prowled toward the fire, a feral god bathed in golden flames.
Tani’s heart jumped in her throat and she was frozen, caught in the glare of his savage beauty. If he was a flame then she was a moth. A willing sacrifice.
Jaro walked toward her without breaking eye contact. He was coming for her. She knew it without a doubt. One moment all she could see was the mercury of his eyes, indigo rings darkening, and the next, she was surrounded, encircled in the iron embrace of his arms.
She found herself pressed hard against his chest, visions of the encounter in the club resurfacing. A full-color replay. The overwhelming scent of spice and maleness enveloped her senses, causing momentary paralysis. Jaro moved back, releasing her from his embrace his hands moving to hold her arms, his fingers gripping tightly against her skin. The pressure was intense but although the pain of his nails digging into her skin hurt, the intensity of his grasp turned from a sharp bite to a wave of confusing pleasure.
