by M. J. O'Shea
Chase felt it as soon as his feet hit the sand. His flip-flops were off, and his hoodie too, even though the day was more balmy than truly warm.
“You happy to be here?” Kai asked.
“I love this place. I really missed it.” Chase had almost tried to find a way out there on his own during the past few weeks when he’d needed to think, when there had been too much and too many people around him. But somehow it hadn’t seemed right without Kai next to him, so he’d gone up to the roof or stewed in their room facing the wall with his back to Kai. Chase felt so much better. So much better.
“What do you want to do today?” Kai asked. “I have a Frisbee, or we can set up the volleyball net that’s in my car.”
“Maybe later,” Chase said. He reached out and wound his fingers through Kai’s. “I just want to hang out with you for a while, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course.” Kai smiled and scooted closer. He’d been really clingy all weekend. It was cute, Chase had to admit, that strong, feisty Kai felt like he had to cling to Chase and get closer.
“You know, we’re going to be okay,” Chase said. “I’m okay with what happened.”
Kai kissed his shoulder. “I’m not. I don’t think I’m going to get over it, but I suppose I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Don’t let your ego get in the way?” Chase smirked.
“No. That really wasn’t most of it.”
Chase’s eyebrows quirked. Really? Perhaps we should’ve had this conversation a couple of weeks ago. “Oh? What was it, then?”
“I was scared.” Kai shrugged. “Yay. A guy was emotionally scared,” he mocked. “Stop the presses. But really. I saw how confident you were that day, how much it reminded me of how you are when we’re, you know, playing. And I loved it. But at the same time, I felt like people could look at me and see how much I like to be controlled sometimes, and it’s the most irrational thing in the whole damn world, but I freaked out.”
“You felt like people were seeing your insides.”
“Yeah.”
“Kind of like how I felt like I’d let you see my insides and then you just spit on them.”
Kai winced. “I guess so.”
“I get it. It felt raw. You don’t want people to know that much about you. Hell, it’s none of their business what you like, and for the record, nobody would’ve thought that anyway, you know. They have no idea what we do privately, and unless you tell them, they never will.”
“Yeah. I guess I’ve figured that out. It was just a fear. Fears aren’t always rational.”
THEY SAT there for a long time just holding hands, making patterns in the sand with their toes and looking out at the ocean. Chase was happy to be near Kai again. Even everything they’d done the night before hadn’t quite hammered it in yet that they were fine. He felt a little bad that he’d made the whole thing about Kai’s ego, when it wasn’t really that. It was more about Kai’s fears. But they were past it.
“Hey, Kai?” Chase finally asked.
“What’s up?” Kai had leaned back, fingers still curled around Chase’s but lazing in the sand with his eyes closed.
“You know how in the original treatment, we reconciled after a while?” Chase asked. He remembered reading it, but the producers had been loving their feud so much the past few weeks he doubted they even wanted that anymore. Chase did.
“Of course. I figured it was useless after the last couple of weeks, but I’d still really like that. I don’t even want to pretend to be fighting with you.”
“Me either. Why don’t we talk to him about it tomorrow?”
“You think he’ll go for it?” Kai asked
Chase shrugged. “It was in the original plan, and there isn’t much time left.” As soon as he said that, he cringed. He wasn’t looking forward to saying good-bye to Kai. He felt like he’d wasted so much of their very short time.
“He did. Let’s talk to him tomorrow. I really don’t want to spend another second bitching at you.”
Chase laughed and pressed a kiss to the corner of Kai’s mouth. “No more bitching.”
AFTER THAT they got up and walked along the beach, threw rocks, and got their feet wet in the breakers. It was a gorgeous day, warmer than when they’d first gotten there but nothing even close to uncomfortably hot. Chase loved it. He wasn’t ready to go back and deal with another week, but he supposed there weren’t many left. Hell, it could’ve been his last anytime. It could be Kai’s too. He figured that even if it was stressful and tiring, he’d better enjoy it before he was on a plane back to Wisconsin for good.
When it was starting to get dark, they trailed back to Kai’s Jeep sandy but happy. They stopped for Chinese takeout on the way back to the condo and collapsed into bed after a long shower. Together. Chase didn’t miss the twin bed he’d been crammed into the past few weeks. He didn’t plan on going back to it.
IN THE half hour before they were due on set for the penultimate challenge, Chase helped Kai come up with a plan for the next two weeks. They were working under the hope that both of them would make it through the next round. The odds for that were fairly good—Chase just had to beat either Polly or Al. He could do that.
They were called to the wardrobe department to be prepped for the challenge. Chase was almost used to someone else picking out his clothes now, and let the makeup lady do her thing without making too much of a fuss.
He hadn’t seen Al or Polly since the announcement in the boardroom. Kai was wound up so tight Chase was a little worried he was either going to snap or hurt himself.
“Hey,” Chase said, coming up behind Kai and rubbing his shoulders. “You okay?”
Kai sighed heavily. “Not really, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“Come on. You still have to go out there and smash it again.” Chase dug his thumbs into the knots in Kai’s muscles and watched Kai’s lips tug up into a reluctant grin. “There you are.”
NOW THAT there were only four of them left, the workstations had been set up in a square, with the two front stations facing the two at the back. It was designed to throw them off their game, for sure, being able to see the other contestants and exactly what they were doing. Kai was facing Chase, which was probably what the producers considered tactical, but being able to see him was actually calming Kai down. Every now and then, Chase would look up and shoot Kai the sweetest smile, and that was enough to keep him going.
Their big task this week, the week before the final, was… Jell-O?
Fucking Jell-O.
Kai knew what was going on—they were being tested on their creativity and how they coped in frankly ridiculous conditions. To try to make something beautiful and elegant and sophisticated over one of the most childish of ingredients was one hell of a test of their culinary skills. Kai wasn’t convinced, personally, but whatever. He was going to rock it as usual.
Chase was going for big, bold colors and flavors: bright red watermelon, vibrant lime, deep, rich blackcurrant. Kai wasn’t sure yet how Chase was going to present it all, but he’d gotten through the first few stages—making the Jell-O from scratch, using gelatin sheets—with little trouble.
It was a surprisingly complex process, one Kai had thankfully done a few times before. In Britain, sophisticated jellies were having something of a revival, and thanks to the British chefs who worked in America, the trend was starting to catch on. At Donovan’s, Kai had experimented with a few different flavor combinations, but hadn’t found anything he thought was good enough to present to the head chef for the menu.
Now he knew what the stakes were, Kai had opted for elderflower, mint, and blueberry flavors, and it was going better than he’d anticipated. He was always thinking ahead, trying to decide what the finished product would look like on the plate while still in the creation stages. He’d pricked the berries before dropping them into the Jell-O, and they’d done what he’d hoped, bursting with beautiful bluish-purple liquid as the Jell-O set. The base was clear, allowing all the oth
er ingredients to float, suspended. He’d slice the finished product into thick squares, served on a square white plate, with mint leaves and elderflowers to decorate.
He was going to earn his place in the fucking final, God damn it, not be handed it.
Next to him, Al was having issues.
Kai had watched, concerned, when Al had added champagne to his raspberry Jell-O, which was, in itself, a good idea. There was still a balancing act, though, and he hadn’t offset the extra liquid with more gelatin, meaning what should have been delicate domes of dessert were now squishy messes. Unless Polly had created something out of baby vomit, Al was going home, and by the looks of it, he knew it.
Polly, of course, had done something completely unexpected and had managed to coax coconut milk into a gelatin. She presented the judges with a mountain of pillowy white squares, piled high like sugar cubes and decorated with preserved, edible flowers.
Kai shook his head. He should have thought of something like that. In comparison, his own creation looked almost pedestrian. Glancing over at Chase didn’t help either. He’d used a melon baller to create little balls of those brightly colored gelatin shapes and had arranged them in a martini glass. It was hot and sophisticated. Kai couldn’t help but marvel at how far Chase had come from that first, almost disastrous episode with the ice cream. Back then Kai would have never thought Chase would have achieved this much in only a couple months.
The events of that morning had thrown Kai off his game, he was sure of that. There was a new pressure hanging over him now; if wanting to win for himself wasn’t enough, he now had to prove to everyone else that he deserved what was being handed to him. If he were being honest with himself, Kai thought he could probably make it to the final two. But whether or not he could beat Polly was a whole other question. She’d consistently upped her game week by week, and the dark horse of the competition was now the frontrunner.
As expected, Al was kicked out for his Jell-O disaster, failing at the last hurdle before the final. Kai felt sorry for him. The big guy was a friend.
“Al, your raspberry champagne dessert should have been a shining jewel of this season’s competition. Instead a small mistake has let you down. Thank you for all your efforts this season, but tonight, you’ve been burned,” Diego said.
Kai closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. He’d done it. He’d made the final. Not exactly a shock, but still somehow a relief.
“I’m sorry,” Kai said as Al pulled him into a bear hug backstage. “You’re amazing. I hope this turns into something great for you.”
Al squeezed him tighter, possibly cracking one of Kai’s ribs, and chuckled softly.
“I never deserved that place in the final. I really hope you win.”
Kai nodded dumbly and couldn’t say anything else.
There were only three of them in the apartment that night. Polly wasn’t in the mood to socialize, which was fine. She ordered takeout, then went to hide in her room. Kai wasn’t sure what to say anymore. Burned had been an incredible experience, but after everything, it was tarnished. He’d never be able to look at the competition again, knowing that it wasn’t a fair fight.
“You need to stop thinking so much,” Chase said, and pulled on the band that held Kai’s hair back in a ponytail. “It’ll be all right, I promise.”
“I know,” Kai said heavily, and twisted on the sofa until he could pull a laughing Chase into his lap. “She’s so much better than us. I didn’t see it at first, when I thought nobody was going to come close to beating me, but she’s consistent. Everything she makes is perfect. She’s the best.”
“Yeah. I know.”
There wasn’t much more they could say after that. Kai fell into the kiss slowly at first, finding it to be more of a reconnection than anything else. What they had together felt solid underneath everything else that was going on in their lives at the moment, and though Kai was looking forward to Burned—and all the drama that came with it—being over, he wasn’t ready to talk to Chase about what came next.
There was one thing he was sure of: Kai was not going to Paris for a year unless Chase was there with him. If Burned had taught him anything, it was that some things were bigger than a cooking competition. He thought that probably wasn’t the message Tommy and the rest of the production team were trying to impress on him, but fuck them.
Chase kissed up the side of Kai’s neck, then nuzzled into his ear.
“Wanna go to bed?” he murmured.
“It’s still early.”
He felt Chase’s lips stretch into a smile. “I know.”
They took a shower together first, hot water and steam hiding them from the rest of the world. Kai remembered having Chase in his shower back at his apartment, how after their first time together, he couldn’t stop looking at Chase’s gorgeous skin, his flat stomach, and gorgeous cock. They were more familiar with each other now, but Kai was still looking, still admiring the body of the man he was proud to call his own.
Wondering where the melancholy was coming from, Kai pulled Chase into his arms and held on tight.
“You’re not okay, are you?” Chase wondered and ran his hand firmly up and down Kai’s back in reassurance. “Come on.”
He led Kai through to the bedroom and they snuggled together, naked under the covers. Chase seemed to be in a giving mood, and Kai was content, this time, to lie back and let Chase do his thing. When Chase’s thing seemed to be a slow, intimate exploration of Kai’s cock with his tongue, Kai was definitely okay with that.
Closing his eyes, Kai pushed his fingers into Chase’s golden hair and let go. He couldn’t keep up the pretense that he was fine, not when he was feeling very not fine. Chase didn’t care, though, he just quietly sucked on Kai’s cock, teasing and playing and making him feel good until Kai found himself right on the edge.
“Wait,” he gasped, laughing. “Wait.”
“Hmm?”
Chase’s head popped up from under the comforter, and Kai laughed. “I just… I want you to fuck me.”
Chase grinned wickedly. “I can do that.”
After the usual fumbling for the necessities, Chase shifted until he was comfortably on top of Kai’s body, and pushed Kai’s legs wide apart.
“Go slow,” Kai said, barely recognizing the timbre of his own voice.
“I will. I’ll look after you.”
“You always do.”
Kai pressed his face against Chase’s neck, breathing through the initial discomfort and groaning loudly when Chase bottomed out inside him.
“Fuck,” Kai groaned, and wrapped his legs firmly around the gorgeous curve of Chase’s ass. “Fuck!”
Chase chuckled and shifted until he could thoroughly kiss Kai, making it about so much more than dick in ass. They moved together so perfectly, their bodies aligned, lips pressed close, so each movement felt like it was designed to bring them closer together.
“Okay?” Chase asked.
“Yeah. Yeah.”
Kai felt the tension finally falling away as he turned his head to the side, exposing his neck to Chase’s kisses, and wrapped his arms around Chase’s waist. This was exactly what he needed, to close his eyes and feel something for a while. Not thinking. Just bodies. Just kissing. Just Chase.
This time their lovemaking didn’t climax with loud, explosive orgasms; Kai felt his body gently crest into pleasure that was long and drawn out, his body shuddering and trembling as Chase kissed him through it, then pressed his forehead against Kai’s shoulder and silently came too.
“That was good,” Chase said, his voice slightly breathless as he rolled onto his side and neatly disposed of the condom. “I need a cigarette.”
“You don’t smoke,” Kai laughed. He rolled over too, shifting around the ache in his body, and set his head on Chase’s shoulder. When Chase started playing with his hair, Kai hummed in contentment.
“I know. But that was good.” He dragged out the “oo” sound until Kai laughed and punched him on the should
er.
“You’re such a cheeseball.”
Chase kissed him again, and Kai’s stomach rumbled loudly. With their lips still pressed together, Chase smiled and licked Kai’s lips.
“Hungry?”
“No.”
“Come on,” Chase said, hauling himself to his feet with a loud groan. “There’s loads left in the kitchen from our last grocery order. I’m sure we can pull something together.”
Kai grumbled but pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, and followed Chase through to the kitchen. It was just starting to get dark, the sun setting over LA. Kai hopped up onto one of the barstools at the breakfast bar and turned his back to the window.
“What are you in the mood for?” Chase asked. He had his head stuck in the fridge and gave his ass a little wriggle for Kai’s amusement.
“Honestly?” Kai thought about it for a moment. “Banana pancakes.”
Chase turned back, his face lit up with amusement. “Let me put bacon on top and you’ve got yourself a deal.”
“I’m totally okay with that.”
Chase could clearly whip up a batch of pancakes in his sleep, so Kai was content to sit at the bar and watch him work. He couldn’t do this all that much when they were in the studio—he was too focused on what he had to do for himself. Silently Kai admitted he was moping. Chase didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t comment.
After only a few minutes, Chase was dropping puddles of batter onto a hot skillet, the bacon frying in another pan. This felt almost too homey for Kai, watching his lover make a breakfast-for-dinner meal after a round of really satisfying sex.
