“I didn’t mean to put you down. I just wanted you to know that you are capable of so much more.”
It’s hard to put into words the rage and hatred I feel for Margie at this very moment. I hate her passive aggressive bullshit and her backhanded compliment that’s not a compliment at all. And most of all, I hate the pain that she is causing Ellie.
I’m about to say something, when Ellie breaks out in laughter. Then she shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Fuck you, Mom. Okay? How about that? Why don’t you just go fuck yourself?”
She takes me by the arm and pulls me toward the front door.
Chapter 6 - Ellie
After dinner…
Well, that didn’t go as well as I thought it would. Aiden gives me a brief hug as we leave their house, but I just push him away. I can’t deal with physical contact right now. I’m fuming. My heart is racing and I need to get myself under control first.
“It’s going to be okay,” Aiden says. I nod in agreement, but I don’t believe him. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and pound on something really hard. But instead, I let him lead me to his car. He opens the door and waits for me to get in. He gives me too much time. He hesitates for too long. Everything is compounding my anger. I reach out and close the door myself. I shut it right in his face, but he doesn’t seem fazed by it.
When he gets into the car, he doesn’t say anything else. He simply starts the engine and drives off. I let out a big sigh of relief. The heaviness of the world doesn’t disappear off my shoulders, but it feels like someone is there holding up some of it for me.
Twenty minutes later, I’m finally ready to talk again.
“I’m really sorry about dinner,” I say. “I shouldn’t have made a scene like that.”
“Your mom was really out of line.”
“I know, but still. She’s always like that. She isn’t exactly the most supportive person when it comes to…anything.”
“You don’t say,” he jokes.
“I don’t really understand what her issue is. I mean, she’s married to Mitch, they have a lot of money. Mitch will always provide for me if I let him. He’s quite generous like that. So, why was she always so unhappy about me becoming a writer?”
“Even before you started writing romance?”
“Yes. She acts like BuzzPost is this ideal place for me to work, but you should’ve heard her comments about it when I started. ‘You spent four years at Yale. Your education cost over two-hundred thousand dollars, and now you’re writing online quizzes asking people what kind of wedding they should have based on their favorite Harry Potter house.’”
“I’m sorry,” Aiden says.
I know that I’m overwhelming him with my problem when he clearly has enough of his own, but I can’t help it. I’m fuming. Why does my mother have to be this way? Why can’t she be happy for me? Doesn’t she know how few people there are out there who get paid anything at all for their writing? And I have people buying my books? Who cares if the first book was only ninety-nine cents and my cut of it is only thirty-five cents. It’s still something. She has no idea how hard it is for writers to get anyone to pay for their books.
“She just makes me so angry, Aiden. I mean, I have readers who are actually paying money to read my fiction. I mean, that’s a miracle. Most people will pay three bucks for a cup of coffee at Starbucks every day and think nothing of it. But then they will also complain that a whole book, which takes a couple of months to write, costs more than ninety-nine cents. And yet, I have people buying my books. Not many people, but enough to make me feel like I’m doing something worthwhile.”
“I’m really sorry, Ellie. I wish she was more supportive. Not sure if it matters, but I’m really proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
Of course it matters. His support means everything. And yet, it doesn’t erase the bad taste in my mouth from my mom’s reaction at dinner.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t let this bother me so much,” I say when we pull up to my apartment building. “She’s always been this way. And it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.”
“Of course, it does,” Aiden says. “But I understand what you mean.”
We sit in silence for a bit, listening to Adele, who just came on the radio. Her song Hello makes for a good soundtrack for this evening.
“Would you like to come up?” I ask.
He shrugs.
“You don’t?”
“No, it’s not that. I do. But I have a lot on my mind,” he says after a moment.
I nod and wait for him to continue. But he doesn’t.
“So, you aren’t going to come up?” I ask. He shrugs.
“Do you have something going on at work tomorrow?” I press.
He shrugs.
“Aiden, what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
I feel like I’m pulling teeth. But this time he doesn’t give in.
“C’mon, why don’t you come up? We can have some tea and cookies? Go to bed?”
I need him to spend the night with me. How much more obvious do I have to be?
“Not tonight,” he says after a moment.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, refusing to let the subject go. He hesitates for a bit, but when he realizes that I’m not going to let him off that easily, he finally caves.
“Something happened at work today,” Aiden says. “Something bad.”
“What?”
My head starts to buzz when he says the word ‘fired.’
“But I don’t understand…”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Aiden shrugs. “I had a meeting with the board today and they let me go.”
“But you’re the founder of the company. How can they just fire you?”
“Because they’re the board. They have more power than I do. If I stop making the shareholders money, then they can replace me with someone who will. It’s business.”
I shake my head.
“But you never even sexually harassed anyone or had any scandals. I thought that’s what people got fired for.”
“Well, actually, you are much less likely to get fired for sexually harassing a woman than for not making money. Unfortunately.”
I continue to pepper him with questions even as I can see that he is reluctant to answer them. But a few minutes later, he shuts down.
“Ellie, I’m sorry, but you have to get out of the car,” he says. “I just can’t talk about this anymore. And I know that if I come up that’s all we’re going to talk about.”
He’s right, of course. I know that. But it still hurts. Tears start to well up in the back of my throat. I’m not sure if I’m about to cry because of his job, my mom, or the fact that I didn’t much sleep the night before.
I take a deep breath and open the door.
“I’ll call you later,” he says, grabbing my arm just as I’m about to exit. I give him a brief squeeze back and slam the door behind me. Once I disappear behind the safety of my building’s front door, and I’m well out of earshot and eyesight of Aiden, I burst into tears.
Chapter 7 - Ellie
More news…
I wipe my tears before entering my apartment. I don’t want Caroline to see me distraught. She has enough to worry about for now. I like the idea of being there for her, and being her rock, but I’m not sure if I’m strong enough for anyone to break against right now. When I walk into the foyer, I expect to see the door to Caroline’s room closed as it had been for days. When I see that it is, I head straight to my room.
“Hey,” Caroline says from the couch.
“Oh hey. How are you?”
I want to climb under my covers and go to sleep forever. But Caroline hasn’t been out and about under her own volition for a while. I know that I wouldn’t be a good friend if I didn’t take a few moments to acknowledge this momentous achievement.
“How are you?” I ask, heading to the refrigerator.
After staring absent-mindedly at
the empty shelves, I pour myself a glass of water. I hope that I’ve wasted enough time that my eyes no longer look like they’ve recently seen tears.
“Okay,” she shrugs. “I ordered some Chinese. Want some?”
Wow, she actually took the initiative to order takeout? She must be feeling a lot better.
“No thanks. I just got back from dinner.”
“With Aiden?”
“And my parents.”
“Wow, that must’ve been intense.”
“Tell me about it,” I say. And just like that, within practically a moment, things suddenly feel somewhat normal. It’s almost as if Maine never happened.
“So…” Caroline says, changing the channel back to Property Brothers on HGTV. “Oh, I love this part. The reveal.”
We watch the transformation for a few moments and comment on how much nicer the new house looks. When the episode comes to an end, Caroline puts the TV on mute and turns to face me.
“So…Tom has been arrested.”
I’m so stunned, I nearly choke on my water
“My lawyer called and told me today. He pled not guilty, of course.”
“So, what’s going to happen now?”
“There’s going to be a trial,” she says. I lean a little closer to her to see whether her eyes are actually lit up or whether it’s just the light from the screen streaming into the living room.
“You seem happy,” I say, cautiously.
“I am,” she nods. Her lips curl at the edges forming a delicate smile.
“Well, in that case, I’m excited for you.”
“You’re surprised,” Caroline says.
I nod. Actually, she’s right. I am more than surprised. I’m shocked. I’ve never been part of any situation like this, but I’ve read about other victims and witnesses and most of them are not that excited about the idea of going to trial. When I tell Caroline this, she just laughs.
“I’m actually kind of caught off guard by this as well,” she admits. “All of these days I didn’t know what I was feeling or how I was supposed to feel. And then my lawyer called and told me about the trial and it was like this big weight was lifted off my shoulders.”
“And you’re not afraid of what might happen at trial?” I ask before I get the chance to stop myself. I hate it when I speak before I think. I mean, why even bring this up if she’s feeling so good right now?
But Caroline just laughs. “Of course, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I’m sort of looking forward to testifying. The thing is Ellie, that I’m really angry. Mad. I feel it all the way down in the pit of my stomach. And telling the jury what he did to me so he can pay for it, well, actually, I can’t wait.”
“Oh my god, you are much braver than I am. You’re kind of amazing, Caroline,” I say and wrap my arms around her.
“You know, you’re going to have to testify too,” she adds. My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach and my fingers turn ice-cold. But I force a smile.
“Of course, I will,” I say quickly. “That asshole needs to go to jail for what he did.”
Before we get a chance to talk about this anymore, the buzzer rings. Someone’s at the front door.
“Who is it?” I ask into the intercom.
“It’s me,” Aiden says. A big wide natural smile comes over my face as I buzz him in.
Chapter 8 - Aiden
When he shows up…
My heart skips a beat and the end of my fingertips get that familiar tingly feeling.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, opening the door. Aiden smiles and shrugs his shoulders. A few strands of hair fall into his face, making his eyes even more mesmerizing. He leans on the doorway and runs his tongue over his luscious lips.
“I should’ve never left,” he says slowly. “I’m sorry.”
I nod. I’m about to invite him in when he takes my hand in his and pulls me toward him. Aiden wraps his arms around me and suddenly all my worries melt away. I know that no matter what, we’re going to be okay. Everything is going to work out. Slowly, he runs his fingers up my spine, eventually settling at the nape of my neck. I let my head drop into his hand. Holding me up, he presses his lips onto mine. It’s a slow, passionate kiss that seems to last forever. It’s one of those kisses, which you remember for a lifetime. When I’m ninety and I find myself sitting on my front porch with my granddaughter and she asks me what it means to be in love, my mind will immediately go to this kiss.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers again as he pulls away.
“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. You had such a hard day and you still went to dinner with my folks. But why did you? We could’ve rescheduled.”
“Eh, I don’t know. I promised you that I would. But I should’ve told you about getting fired sooner. I was just…embarrassed.”
I give him a warm hug. I can see that admitting this fact made Aiden grow weak at the knees.
“So, why did you come back?” I ask.
“I don’t know. I made it a few blocks before it hit me. We both had really shitty days, so why the hell should we be apart? I mean, I thought I wanted to be alone, but that’s just because that’s what I’m used to doing when I have a bad day. But the further I got away from your house, the more I realized just how much I missed you.”
“I’m glad you’re back,” I say. “I didn’t want to be alone either.”
I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him. I bury my fingers in his thick hair and pull slightly until he gives out a moan.
“Caroline is in the living room,” I say, pulling away. The warning is not really necessary since he’s going to find this out momentarily anyway.
We walk to the living room holding hands.
“Hey, how are you?” Aiden asks.
“Oh hey,” Caroline says, turning around on the couch. “I’m okay, I guess. Better.”
“Glad to hear that.”
Caroline flashes him a small smile. We sit in the living room with her a bit. I want to take Aiden back to my room, but since she’s out here, we both feel like we should spend time with her. Caroline flips through the channels and then settles on a re-run of The Notebook.
“Oh my god, what a cheesy movie,” Aiden says, helping himself to a spring roll.
Caroline’s eyes grow wide and she looks from him to me and then back again.
“What?” he asks.
“I don’t know if you know, but this is your girlfriend’s favorite movie,” she says, bursting into laughter.
“It is not my favorite,” I say quickly. I don’t know why I feel the need to apologize or explain except that I know that it’s sappy and romantic. And that’s why I love it.
“Okay, one of her favorites,” Caroline concedes.
“Okay, I’ll give you that,” I say.
“Seriously?” Aiden asks.
I nod and shrug.
“Is it all because of Ryan Gosling?”
“Well, yes, and no. I mean, I just love him and Rachel McAdams together. And this movie…it’s perfect.”
Aiden laughs. “I have no idea how we made it this far into our relationship without this coming up. But now that I know…I don’t know if I can keep this thing going.”
“Oh please,” I wave my left hand at him. Aiden grabs it and pulls me close to him.
“Oh my God, please. You two are so cute and in love, you’re making me gag,” Caroline says. “Don’t you know that I just got out of the hospital?”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. That was my fault,” Aiden says and pushes me away from him. “Oh hey, wait a second. Where’s your ring?”
He looks at my hand and then up at me. I shrug.
“I took it off because we were going to my parents’ house. And I didn’t want them to know until it was the right time.”
“Wait a second,” Caroline sits straight up. “Ring? What ring?”
Aiden and I exchange looks.
“What ring?!” Caroline demands to know. Finally, I smile and cave.
“Aid
en…asked me to marry him,” I say.
“He did? You did? And what did you say?”
I walk over to my purse, fish out the ring from the inside pocket and put it on my finger. Then I walk over to the couch, holding my left hand in the air, to showcase the ring.
“Oh my God! Oh my God!” Caroline squeals and runs over to me. “Ellie! Oh my God!”
She keeps going back and forth between hugging and kissing me and admiring my ring. From her reaction, you’d think that she was the one who got engaged. I glance over at Aiden and he’s equally surprised.
“Wow, I had no idea you would be so happy,” I say. “I mean, I knew that you would be happy for me…but still.”
“Of course! This is the most exciting thing that’s happened…in a very long time. And this ring…you did good, Aiden. Really good,” she says. “Oh Ellie, you have to let me help you plan your wedding.”
I inhale deeply. Plan my wedding. Wow. Of course, this is the natural next step after a person gets engaged, but somehow the idea of actually having a wedding didn’t occur to me. My heart skips a beat. I’m not a huge fan of parties and the thought of having one where I would be the center of attention makes me sick to my stomach.
“I’m sure you already know what kind of dress and venue you want, but I really want to be there when you make all the arrangements,” Caroline gushes.
And that’s where she’s wrong. I actually have no idea what I want. To tell you the truth, I have devoted exactly zero thoughts to this subject.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Yes, of course!” Caroline’s eyes light up.
“Ellie, I think you have to let her do it,” Aiden says. “I mean, look how happy she is.”
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