“You, taste too good,” he mumbles through the kisses. My heart rate is through the roof.
But suddenly, I pull away. I have to tell him something. It’s only fair. Something I’ve never told anyone before.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I straighten out my clothes. Wipe my mouth. I push him away from me and walk toward the center of the vast room. The floor-to-ceiling windows lining one side of the wall put me at ease.
“There’s something I have to tell you,” I say quietly. He waits. “There’s a reason why I hadn’t dated anyone for a while. It’s difficult to talk about. But I think you should know.”
Finn looks at me, doesn’t say another word. I turn away from him. Even though I’m telling him this, I can’t say it to his face.
“Something happened to me with my ex-boyfriend. The last time we were together, the last time I had sex, was more than 2 years ago. Because…”
Come on, Chloe. Get it together. You can say it. It’s just a word. Nothing to be afraid of. You’ve used it at the therapist’s a million times before.
“I was raped. He raped me. And that’s why I hadn’t dated anyone since then. And why I haven’t slept with anyone for such a long time.”
I mention a few details. But not all. It was after college. We had been having sex for a while. And yet, that night I didn’t want to. He insisted. At first, I thought he was just joking. I kept protesting. Then I realized that he wasn’t. He had too much drink, but that wasn’t an excuse. At first, I didn’t want to report the incident. He was my boyfriend, after all. But after not being able to sleep for days, I went to a therapist and she helped me make a report. There was a trial. I testified. He was convicted. The prosecutor called me ‘brave,’ said that it was important to do this for women everywhere. But I didn’t feel like a hero.
“I’m so, so sorry,” he puts his arm around me. I nod and accept his sympathy. Even though it’s incredibly hard. He’s the first person I’ve ever shared this with.
We sit down on the bed. I turn to him. “But I just want to tell you that I’m fine. Really. I’ve had a lot of therapy. And I’m ready to put all that behind me. If that’s okay with you.” A small smile forms on Finn’s face.
“You really don’t have to. We can take things slowly.”
“I know. But…I want to,” I say. I don’t know if it has something to do with being a woman or going through what I’d gone through, but I have a hard time owning my feelings. Telling people exactly what I want. Especially, men. And yet, in this case, it feels totally natural.
Chapter 21 - Chloe
For a few moments, I think that I spooked Finn. He doesn’t make another move toward me. I know that if I want this to happen, I have to make the move myself.
“I want to make love to you, Finn,” I say quietly and deliberately. “You’re the first person I’ve wanted to be with since that happened.”
He nods, but the lost, angry look on his face remains. I can almost feel his anger at my ex, and it makes me want him even more. My breaths are shallow. I move closer to Finn and run my fingers over his face. I run my fingers down his neck and start to unbutton his shirt. I kiss his neck, and, once all the buttons on his shirt pop open, I run my tongue all the way down to his belly button. His muscles move up and down with his breaths and feel cool on my tongue.
When I start to undo his belt, the muscles deep inside the darkest parts of me clench up from anticipation.
Finally, Finn starts to respond. He lifts up my head to his and kisses me. This time, his kisses are firm and slow. Demanding. Slowly, they start to mold with mine. He unbuckles his pants and steps out of them. Then he undoes the back of my blouse and pulls it over my head.
“You have the most beautiful skin,” he mumbles, kissing the back of my arms. Pushing me down on my back, he tugs at my waistband. I kick off my shoes and, with one swift motion, Finn pulls off my leggings. He looks at my body up and down. Pausing for a little too long. The lights are dimmed, but not enough. Suddenly, I have a pang of fear. What if I’m not what he’s used to? What if he thinks I’m fat or ugly?
But before I get too carried away with my insecurities, Finn licks his lips and says, “You’re so hot. I want you so much.”
My face gets flushed. Did he just say that? To me?
I’m still in my matching bra and panty set and he’s still in his boxer-briefs, but that doesn’t stop him from climbing on top of me and grinding. He kisses me and presses his body into mine. He is so hard that the force with which he presses himself into my pelvis borders on painful. But good painful. He continues to shower me with demanding and passionate kisses. I moan into his mouth.
Then with one swift motion, he pulls me up. My legs wrap tightly around his torso. When he undoes my bra and my breasts fall into his mouth, I toss my head back and let the passion course through my body. I want him so badly. I grip his strong, powerful biceps and dig my fingernails into his muscles.
He eases me onto the bed and pulls off my panties. I look up and see that he has also stripped of his boxer-briefs. For a moment, we lock our eyes on each other’s bodies.
“You are so beautiful,” he says and buries his fingers within me. I lose my breath and moan from pleasure. He massages me everywhere, spreading me wide open and making my heart rate jump over beats. Just as I start to get close, he leans over me.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” he whispers, kissing my neck.
“Yes,” I nod. I pull his face toward mine and let him fill me up.
My skin starts to burn. I close my eyes. He thrusts in and out of me, making my whole body explode with electricity. And then suddenly a whole different feeling comes over me. As Finn moves faster and faster in and out of me, I suddenly clench my toes and let an unfamiliar warm feeling run over my body.
“Finn!” I yell as I come.
“Chloe!” he moans into my ear and collapses on top of me.
When I wake up, it’s still dark. I have no idea how much time has passed. My legs feel sore. I stretch them out, curling my toes. Finn is dead asleep next to me. I listen to his deep breaths and fall back asleep.
When I wake up again, it’s light out. The sun is high in the sky. It feels warm on my face. I run my hand along the other side of the bed, feeling for Finn, but there’s no one there. I sit up in bed. My body feels sore and spent. I’ve never experienced that before. I’ve had sex, of course, but not an orgasm. The funny thing is that, I was so naïve that I thought that I had orgasmed before, because it felt so good, but now that I had experienced the real thing I know that I hadn’t.
I’m in drastic need of something to drink. I look around the large white room. Everything in the room is a different color of white. Frankly, I didn’t know that there were so many different versions of it, but the room has a beautiful ambience and every color and texture compliment each other in just the right way. There’s a robe laying on the bench at the foot of the bed. I slip it on and walk outside. The tiles feel cool under my bare feet.
“Hey, you’re up,” Finn says. “I was just about to bring you breakfast in bed.”
I smile and look around the kitchen island. It’s filled with dishes of cut up cantaloupe, watermelon, and various berries. Finn’s hard at work at a stack of pancakes and scrambled eggs.
“Is that all for me?” I ask. He nods, mischievously.
“I didn’t know what you’d like.”
“I can’t possibly eat all that, Finn.”
“Well, you’re going to have to try.”
I shake my head and pour myself a cup of coffee.
“Do you want me to get fat?”
“Maybe.”
I toss a berry into my mouth.
“You’re going to spoil me,” I say, sitting on the bar stool across from him.
“I intend to do just that.”
His hair is tousled, and he looks even sexier than he did last night, if that were possible. He’s not wearing a shirt, and every muscle in his stomach flexes as
he breathes in and out. I find myself mesmerized. Then I catch myself. As much as I want to stay here long after we finish this delicious breakfast, I don’t want to overstay my welcome.
“Will you give me ride home later?” I ask.
I wait for a look of relief to sweep over his face, but it doesn’t. Instead, what I get is a look of disappointment. “Oh, do you have to go home?” he asks, slowly.
“Well, no, not really. But I don’t want to stay too long. I’m sure that you have a lot of things to do.” He looks up at me. The light tan of his skin glistens in the sunlight. He flashes a smile of his pearly whites.
“Nope. Actually, I don’t have any plans,” he says with a shrug and plates my scrambled eggs.
“Are you sure? Because it’s really no problem.”
“How about this? I’d like for you to stay and hang out. But if you don’t want to, I totally understand.”
I take a deep breath. Is Finn really asking to spend more time with me?
“Okay,” I say, taking a bite of the most delicious scrambled eggs I’ve ever had in my life.
“Okay?” he confirms, lathering a pancake generously with maple syrup. I nod and we eat our breakfast in silence, but with big smiles on our faces.
Since he cooked, I take it upon myself to clean up. I start putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Suddenly, I hear the doorbell. Finn goes to answer it.
A few moments later, I hear him say, “You can’t just barge in here, you know.”
A female voice says something in return, but I don’t quite make it out.
“Who do you think you are? You think you’re better than other people or something? When I talked to your rep, I was assured that you were a gentleman. But it serves me right for not screening you properly, doesn’t it?”
The accent is very familiar. Texan. Who do I know who’s from Texas? Oh yeah, that’s right! Dolly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Finn says. His voice is getting closer. I know that they’re headed this way. I see Dolly just as I dry my hands.
“Chloe?” Dolly practically yells out my name. I take a step forward and tighten the belt on my robe. I’m suddenly keenly aware of the fact that I’m not wearing anything underneath.
“Hi, Dolly,” I say quietly.
“What are you doing here?” she asks. I don’t like her tone. Who does she think she is?
“Um, what are you doing here?” I ask.
“I’m here to yell at my client for standing you up on your date. Since that’s what you told me the other day. And now, I see that you are with him all along. What is going on here?”
I stare at her. What the hell is she talking about?
“He did stand me up. This is Finn, a guy I work with. We ran into each other by accident at the Governor’s Ball.”
“Oh no, no, no,” she shakes her finger at us as if we were five years old. “This is Finn Dalton. He was supposed to be your date.”
“What?” I ask. I can hear what she’s saying, but none of it is making any sense to me. “No, my date stood me up.”
I turn to look at Finn. He casts his eyes down and almost turns away from me.
“What is going on, Finn?” I ask.
Dolly turns to him as well. She crosses her hands across her chest and taps her high heel.
“I don’t know what came over me, Chloe. It was just this fluke thing. I was set up on a date. And when I got there and found out it was you…I don’t know, I just felt like…”
“Felt like lying about who you are?”
“No,” he mumbles.
“About pretending that my date stood me up? Acting as if you were some knight in shining armor rescuing me from a bad situation?” I ask.
Now, I’m really starting to hate that I’m wearing this stupid silk bathrobe that he had laid out for me. “No, that’s not what I wanted to happen. I just wanted to talk to you as if I weren’t your date. I wanted to get to know you a little more.”
“Well, now you know me, don’t you? Isn’t this perfect?” I ask. I start to walk toward the bedroom to change into my clothes, but he grabs my arm and pulls me close to him.
“Chloe, please,” he says.
“Let go of me, Finn. Let go!” I scream when he doesn’t let me go at first. He lets me go, and I run toward the bedroom. I change into my clothes as soon as possible and grab my phone. Only then do I realize that I don’t have a ride home. Shit. I feel like I’m about to burst out crying, but I gather my thoughts and take a few deep breaths.
The rest of the hour is a blur. Somehow, I manage to get my stuff together and get into Dolly’s car. She offers to give me a ride home. I want to say no, but I don’t have many options unless I want to pay $100 for a cab and wait around for it at Finn’s place.
“I’m so, so sorry, Chloe,” Dolly keeps saying over and over in her annoying accent. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I knew that Finn was never a person I could really trust, but it’s not just because he’s a movie star. It’s because he’s a guy. And no matter how hard I try, I’m not ready to be in a relationship with a guy. Too bad I’m not into girls. All of this would be so much easier.
“Chloe, please, please, say something.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“How are you feeling about this?”
Is she really asking me this? I feel like a fool. Like an idiot. I had the first orgasm of my life with someone who’s a liar. Now, what am I supposed to do with that? What now? And, worse than that, I’m going to have to see him at work again. If I even have a job anymore.
“I feel like shit, Dolly,” I say turning to her. I don’t elaborate. I stare ahead. I can’t deal with her now. I can’t deal with anyone. I want to more than anything go back to a few moments before she appeared and feel happy again. Content. I mean, I really thought that I had met someone special, and now it has all gone to shit.
Chapter 22 - Finn
I don’t know what to do. She wouldn’t talk to me. She wouldn’t let me explain. She just left. I know I’m asshole for what I did, but how could she just walk out like that? Fuck Dolly. Aghh! I’m so angry. I want to punch something.
My phone rings. Reluctantly, I look at the screen.
“Hi, Finn, you have to come quick,” Ben is practically yelling. “Jasmine’s going into labor.”
Ben hangs up, and I stare at the phone. I don’t want to go to the hospital. I want to drink a bottle of vodka and to smoke some weed. But I’ve been enough of an asshole to people I care about. I haven’t missed one of Jasmine’s births, and I’m not going to start with this one.
I arrive at the Cedar Sinai Hospital in record time. Ben texts me the room number, and I head straight up.
“How is she?” I ask. Ben is pacing outside of the room, clearly distressed.
“Um, not good. This is too early. If the baby comes out now…” he doesn’t finish the statement. I know what will happen. I’ve seen the television shows and the movies. If the baby comes out now, she’ll be premature. She’ll probably have to stay at the hospital for weeks and be hooked up to one of those tubes. They won’t be able to touch their baby. They’ll have to wear scrubs to come and see her.
I try to calm him down. I tell him that it’s going to be okay. The two hundredth time I say it, Ben finally believes me. Jasmine is relaxing now, and I ask him if he wants to go to get something to eat. Jasmine’s mom is in with her. Reluctantly, he agrees.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” I say again, biting into a cold tuna sandwich. Ben’s eating a slice of pizza. He takes a sip of his coke and nods.
“Yeah, I hope so….So, what’s going on with you? Take my mind off this whole thing.”
Should I tell him? Eh, why not? He wants a distraction. I’ll give him a distraction. I tell him the whole story. He listens carefully, with a perplexed look on his face.
“So, wait, I don’t understand. Why did you lie to her?”
“That’s the thing,” I say
. “I have no idea. I just saw her sitting there, and I sort of felt like I didn’t want to have the pressure of being on a date with her. I mean, if she were anyone else, I would, but I like this girl. I liked her the first time I met her on set.”
“So, you decided to lie to her?”
“Yes,” I hang my head.
“But why didn’t you tell her the first time she came over?”
“Well, I was going to, but then we started kissing. And then she got sick. There was no good time. And then we got into this argument on set, and I barely got her to go out to dinner with me again.”
“This is bad, Finn.”
“I know that. Don’t you think I know that?” I ask. “I just don’t know what to do now.”
“What would you do with anyone else?”
I shrug. “Eh, I’d just let it go.”
“Wow,” Ben smiles.
“What?”
“You must really like her then.”
I think about it for a second. “I do. And get this, I think I might even more than just like her.”
“What?” Ben nearly chokes on his drink.
“I think I might be falling in love with her,” I say quietly. “I hate it. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. What if she doesn’t forgive me? What if she hates me forever?”
“Yes, you are falling in love, man. Wow, my friend is finally growing up. This is a momentous day for you, Finn.”
I roll my eyes. “No, this is a momentous day for you, Ben.”
“It’s still huge,” he says.
He’s right, of course. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Perhaps, this is what love feels like. I thought it was going to be exciting and adrenaline-charged. Not absolutely terrifying. No, Chloe has to forgive me. I’m not going to give up until she does.
I alternated between sleeping and walking around outside of the waiting room. Twenty hours later, the baby comes. Five hours later, I’m at work.
When I arrive at work, I go straight to Chloe’s trailer.
Auctioned to Him_Damage Page 75
