by Ann Raina
"Thanks again."
Kyra stood and walked into the hall, slowly, disbelieving her eyes. Julian stood on the porch, hands in his pockets. His look was as insecure as her own. He had changed clothes, washed his hair and was cleanly shaven, but still he did not look the same as in the morning. His eyes. Something lay in his eyes she could neither define nor explain, but it unnerved her.
"You look as if you've had a bad time," Oliver summed up Kyra's observation. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." Julian managed to smile, but his eyes stayed wary. "Hey, Kyra. Did your house feel as empty as my place?"
"Yes." Kyra lowered her chin. She felt too dizzy from the brandy to think clearly and she knew she would cry if he said something sappy. She made a gesture toward Oliver who waited like a prompter to her left. "Oliver was kind enough to grant me a place for the evening."
"We were about to start watching a movie. You can join if you want to."
Julian locked eyes with Oliver. They had a moment when words were superfluous.
"I don't think he likes Cary Grant", Kyra said, unaware of the silent understanding. "And I think I can't stand much longer."
"That can be helped. If you allow, Oliver?" Julian asked, bridging the distance and scooping Kyra into his arms. She gave a small shriek then chortled. "They key for the house?"
"In her right pocket," Oliver said with a pleasant smile all the way up to his eyes.
"Thank you. Thank you for everything," Julian said with feeling and Oliver's face brightened.
"You're welcome, Julian, any time."
"I bet." Julian carried Kyra across the porch, through the garden to her own porch. He started fumbling for the key when she asked him to put her down. "Are you sure?"
"I'm a big girl, I can handle it." She had the key in the lock and opened the house. Walking into the living room, she switched on the lights and turned to him. "I didn't expect you back tonight. Really. I already dreaded to wake up in the morning. You left so…, maybe that's just me and it's a guy thing to be cool, but I thought it was…distant. Strange."
"I'm sorry, but I had some things to do and didn't know how long it would take." He wiped his hands along the seams of his pants, then stuffed them in the pockets and hunched his shoulders. "I didn't want you to wait for me. Not today anyway. But when I got into my apartment, I thought I just couldn't stay there."
"Just like that."
"No. If you had been with me I would have stayed." He smiled feebly. "Are you mad at me?"
"Do I have a reason?" She took a deep breath. "No, I don't." She came back to him, stalking, lowering her voice. He had that lopsided grin again and nothing would make her more content. She locked eyes with him. "Drop the coat." He opened it and shrugged out of it. Kyra smiled. "Hmm, that's what I like. And isn't it much too warm for a pullover?" It came off and she preferred not to pry why he winced when he put it aside. "Nice." Her fingers trailed along his forearms. There were scratches aside those healed after the cat attack. Gently, she pulled the polo shirt out of his pants. "Lose it," she whispered against his chest. He hesitated, looking down at her with the same feeble smile. "Anything wrong with that?"
He inhaled, groping for words, but then just said, "Let me have it for a while, okay?"
She made a small whimper of disappointment and explored his skin beneath the white fabric gently, longingly. "Maybe…" He winced. Just a short, quickly gone sound and a twitching of lips, but her alarm was on. "Later. Will that do?"
"Sure. But I get these." Her fingers already opened the belt without looking. Practice makes perfect.
"And I? What do I get to see?" He pulled off his shoes.
Kyra smiled pleasantly, but did not answer. She did not wish to spoil the mood. However, a quick lifting of the shirt showed her fresh bruises along his stomach and ribs. Small wonder he had winced upon her touch. "Not much. Yet." She undid the buttons of the jeans and slowly, relishing the moment, pulled it down his legs. The sensation was still there undressing him, watching his long legs and the front of his briefs. It made her heart race and got her midsection into small spasms of anticipation. In the back of her mind she wanted answers. Where have you been? Why do you show up at night? Why do you look as if you got into trouble? She held back. He was a free man now and if he had run into a brawl he would tell her or not.
"You're not playing fair," he complained good-naturedly while she held the pants for him to step out of them. She grinned. "Oh, the Cheshire cat is back. Help me, I can't run away." He held fast to his briefs when she reached for them. "No. You're not getting everything. Not tonight."
"Meow!" She pressed her nails to the back of his knees, scratching just a little.
"Ouch!"
"Cats do that. You know. They aren't nice and they always want everything at once." She looked up to him, trying to judge if he would play or prefer a night of cuddling on the couch.
"And if I ask the cat to be nice? Just for once?"
Yes, cuddling on the couch. Kyra stood and waited for him to stoop so their lips could meet. It was a loving kiss, not to compare with the small non-telling kiss at the station. Her inner tension melted away. A little. Enough to be satisfied with him while her mind still rolled around the facts presented and unexplained. "Then let me get my jammies and I hope for you that you brought something for overnight."
"Like a bag, you mean, with my toothbrush and a shirt to wear tomorrow?"
"Like that, yes."
"I dropped it on the porch before I dragged you out of Oliver's claws."
Kyra laughed. "Oliver's claws! Come on!" She slapped him slightly on the rump, not meaning to hurt, but knowing he would wince. "Something wrong?"
He caught his expression, but it cost him. "No. I'm all right."
Kyra arched her brows, but kept walking. She fetched her pajama from the bedroom and slipped into it. Julian had changed into a T-shirt and had arranged the small table and the couch for a movie and the night. She did not want to pry, but her curiosity jumped like a captured creature in the back of her head. While he switched on the TV set with the DVD running Kyra snuggled up to him, as close as she could get, and even if it was but to see his reaction. He wanted her close--the longing in his eyes had almost hurt her. She denied herself questions and watched the movie, his solid weight pressed against her back, his arm across her waist, slowly inching up, tickling and caressing her. He breathed in her hair. It felt like a shudder, but when she looked up the moment was gone and his face neutral. Kyra watched the pictures rolling, but did not get the meaning. Julian's body language was more interesting. His hand never left her body, his heartbeat did not slow down, and whenever she moved she felt him tense. He had been at ease in the morning. In fact, he had looked happy to be free, finally, and start over again.
The end credits were running and Kyra turned with sleepy laziness in Julian's arms. "It's wonderful to have you back," she said quietly. "I couldn't have stood the house so empty. So terribly empty." She wrapped her arms around his neck, exhaling, resting her face against his chest as if to sleep like that. She heard a pained whimper and opened her eyes again. "Julian?"
"It's okay. I just caught myself at an edge in my apartment. Stupid me. Haven't been there for so long, I don't know my own rooms anymore."
"Let me see." She was wide awake now and on her knees. "Take off the shirt."
"Kyra, please. It's not necessary."
"I don't like my favorite object of lust be ruined, okay? I'll have a look. If it's a wound and needs dressing I'll do it." Julian made a last, wordless attempt to stop her, but she got him out of the shirt and looked at his back after switching on some more lights. "Who put the gauze on it?"
"I did."
She pried the edges open.
"Leave it."
"No, it's soaked." The gauze came off and Kyra hissed air through her teeth. "Where did you hit yourself? At a hot oven?" She made him look at her. "I'm not an expert, but that looks like a burn. Who did this? What kind of people did you m
eet today? If they can be called people."
He hung his head to massage his forehead with his fingertips. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You should."
"Or what?" He glared at her. "Will you throw me out? Erase me from the list of your friends?"
She sat on her haunches, frowning. "Why do you think I would do this?"
They stared at each other. Julian fought to stay angry while Kyra was calm inside. Now that she knew he had gotten into trouble everything seemed clearer. Strange but true.
He moved his hands outward. "I don't know," he said, finally, beaten to a degree she did not understand.
"I won't chicken out because you have a past."
"Why not?"
"That's the strangest of all questions, Julian." She could not read his expression, so she settled for, "Did you learn so little about me in five months? I'm a helpless case of stubbornness. If I want something done I will go and do it. I wanted to become a cop, so I became a cop. I wanted to master Uncle William's business, I did. I made the mistake to let Chris into my life, see, I dumped him. And you ask why I don't drop you? Julian, oh Julian, you've got quite a bad opinion about me."
"No. No, I don't." He reached out for her when she got up. "I've had a bad day," he confessed and she could see it was hard for him to comply. He breathed and his teeth were clenched hard enough that the jawbones stood out prominently. She waited until he went on "You remember Perry? He showed up with three other guys. They wanted the money."
"I see. And how much money did they expect?" He dropped his hand and looked up to her, puzzled. She could not tell if was because of her question or because she was not surprised. "Well, you carried three thousand dollars in cash with you on the day of your arrest. If that was the courier money then you owe them at least that. Probably with interests, right?" He nodded. "That's all? That's why a guy had to stub out his cigarette on your shoulder?"
"When I told them that the Boston Police hadn't given back the money…yes."
"Nobody does this for three thousand bucks. What's behind it?"
"They do this for any amount of money. I mean, not Perry. They just dragged him along. But the others. It's a principle. They'll kill for it so don't try to play it down."
"I don't." Her eyes narrowed and she felt tension rise inside her. That was the feeling of a police interrogation. She might not like it, but she could not stop it either. "But I'm thinking. The night you got arrested. You said it was a job. You didn't know the contents of the envelope or to whom it should be delivered."
"So?"
"It's money for the mob, right? You brought money from one place to another and Perry should help you do it."
"Why?" he asked and regretted it instantly. He made a helpless gesture.
"He's a master of illusion, like an F/X artist. You must know that. Hair, glasses, beard, everything. Was he sent to guide and disguise you?"
"What? Kyra, stop! You're interpreting something that just isn't true!"
"Am I?" She arched her brows, but then, let go of her breath, shaking her head slightly. She thought that he paled at her statement, but was not sure. It could be her illusion and she did not want to make the night more complicated. "Maybe. I don't know. But still…" He did not look happy in the least and she shook her head. "It was stupid of you to just state you had no money. You could have told them a wild story. Gain some time."
"And do what? Rob a bank?"
"Are you blockheaded on purpose? I can lend you the money. You know that!"
"Yeah, right and before I can turn around I'm neck deep into another trouble." He got up, restless. "I told you I don't want to live off you."
"You don't. I want my money back. But I want the bad guys off your back. And now sit down. I'll dress the wound again." She went for the bathroom.
"Kyra, you can't…"
Swiveling, she pointed a finger at him. "Do you think I can sit here, watch TV and not wonder if someone tries to stub out more than his cigarette butt on your back? That I'm calm and happy while you can't get rid off the rest of your past? You served your time. The crime was amended, no matter how far you were involved. You're clean as a whistle now. And I don't see this ruined. You got it? I won't watch!" She was gone before he had an answer. If he could come up with an answer. She had left little room for that.
* * * *
They went shopping together. Kyra put her arm through Julian's and strolled along the arcades with shops in their splendor. Winter sale was already on and she found so many clothes for Julian he had to walk to the car twice or could not have carried all the bags and boxes around. She was in an exuberant mood when she saw him dress in a black tuxedo and commented on his awkward expression with laughter, but outside the shop she broke into tears.
"My… Kyra, what's wrong?" He dropped the bags to take her in his arms. "What's going on?"
"Nothin'," she said, muffled against his gray winter coat. It felt damn good to be held so she let out air and calmed down. "It's just…" She lifted her eyes to him. He gave her the puppy look that made her smile while she dried the tears on her cheeks. "I've so wanted to go out with you. For so long. To see you in a suit, dress shirt, tie. Maybe that's stupid and old fashioned. I don't care. I…can't describe it if you don't feel it yourself."
He pulled her tight, embracing her as if to shield her against the bad, bad world with all he had. "I know what you mean. It's called happiness."
"See?" She blinked, fighting tears again. "Sorry, so stupid."
"Kiss me."
"Here? Now?" He lifted her to stand on the closest bench. "You mean it." She drew up her nose and looked at him. "Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful your eyes are?"
"I said kissing, not flattering."
"Okay." They kissed. Other people going by made comments, some laughed, some scolded, some shook their heads, but neither Julian nor Kyra noticed. She had closed her eyes and enjoyed Julian's presence more than she could find words for. She had not found happiness. She had found love and would live and breathe and relish every second of it. With Julian so close to her the day seemed brighter, neither windy nor cloudy, and she did not notice the snowflakes that melted on her warm skin. No matter how long the work day or how stressful she knew she had Julian with her when she returned home. Home! Her house would not be empty anymore. The daydream had come to life, and she could have shouted with joy. Which was impossible with Julian's lips pressed on hers. She smiled nevertheless.
"The others will think we're slightly crazy," Julian said, not meaning it.
"They're nothing but jealous." She kissed the tip of his nose and looked in his eyes. There should only be happiness, but she saw the hint of sadness, too, and willed it away. They had not come up with a solution to his debt problem, but that would be handled later. She was determined to solve it for him even though he seemed stubborn to accept her help.
He put her back on the ground. "You promised me that I can decide what you will wear for the reception. So, if you don't want to go there in nothing but your skin, we should be on our way, Ms. Jennings." He lifted his elbow so she could slip her arm through his.
"I won't wear a gown that has less cloth than my pajamas."
"We'll see to that."
* * * *
"If you don't stop staring at me--" Kyra hissed--"your eyes will pop and you won't see anything the whole evening."
"I like the gown."
"You could've settled for something more…modest."
"Nope. A deal is a deal." He grinned at her, and for a moment it was honest, open, reaching his eyes. Kyra loved him and would have wanted to show it with more than smiling back, but she had already reapplied her lipstick after a kissing fit in the Jeep. No second chances because now they entered the Music Hall. "Did I tell you that you look marvelous?"
"About twenty times." She pulled the cape tighter around her shoulders. Winter in Boston and an evening gown with hardly any cloth covering her back did not go well together. She would be cold for ho
urs. On the stairs she looked out for her father and mother and when she found them standing to the right side in the lofty entrance hall, lifted the many layers of light orange chiffon and turned to meet them. From afar she saw her mom gesturing toward her and her father's eyes went wide and wider. "Oh, my, I think, I should have settled for something simpler than this."
"Nope," Julian said again, more determined. "The moment you put it on…wow. You should dress up like that more often. I wished the fashion of gowns returned."
"Yikes! That would be bad."
"Kyra, my love!" Lara shouted and embraced her, carefully avoiding stepping on the fine cloth. "You look…sensational! I've never seen you wear a more beautiful gown!"
"See?" Julian said with a winning smile on his lips. "Mr. and Mrs. Jennings, thank you for the invitation."
"Oh, Julian," Milton said, slightly shaking his head. "I told you, you're no longer what you were. So just think that you two met, say, in a mall. Or at a grocery shop. You met, you talked, you liked each other on the spot. And now you're here."
"Thank you, dad." Kyra placed a light kiss on his cheek.
"You look radiant, Ky. Mom's right, you never wore anything so…charming." Kyra looked back at Julian who stood, hands folded behind his back and enjoyed the attention Kyra got. "It's perfect from top to bottom. It must have cost a fortune!"
"I intend to wear it more than once," she gave back, waving off the argument. "It's always worth the money if your boyfriend's eyes bulge the moment he sees it."
"That's over-sharing," Julian complained quietly, stooping toward her. Milton heard it and chuckled, a low, masculine sound, telling Kyra how good his mood actually was. The men had a moment and Kyra and her mom looked at each other. No, Lara would not make peace with Julian even though he looked stunning in the black tux, white dress shirt and dark red bow tie. She would continue to see a convict, a man fallen from grace and honesty, would endure his presence, but be unwilling to welcome him. Kyra pitied her mother. She could not change her mind and make Julian acceptable for her and the gap between them would always be reason for trouble. However, Kyra was too happy to let bad thoughts ruin the evening.
