“Yeah,” Jax says. “I think Sander figured it out first.”
“Does Bass know?” I ask.
“He’s clueless. Don’t worry. He’s never had a girlfriend, so I’m pretty sure the only way he will know is if you come right out and tell him.”
Which I won’t.
Ever.
I’m scared that he won’t like me back in that way. Plus, I’m not exactly sure if I’m ready for a boyfriend. So, it’s best we keep our distance when it comes to a relationship past friendship. For now, at least.
Jaxon hands the gun back to me.
“When you’re ready, cock it, and shoot again.”
Kiwi.
I've learned a few things about myself today. First, I'm actually not that bad at shooting guns. After unloading a few clips, I got comfortable and was able to hit the target quite a few times. Even Jax seemed impressed.
Second, I learned that I am good with accents. Or at least, I can do a pretty good Kiwi accent. Oh, yeah, I learned that people in New Zealand are referred to as Kiwis. But after the bird—not the fruit. Apparently there are these birds that don’t have wings and they’re all over New Zealand. I’ve seen a few of them hopping around.
And the third thing I learned about myself is that I suck at languages. I can't even say a standard Hello, nice to meet you in Swiss German. Nope.
“You're trying too hard,” Brett says.
“How do I say piss off in Swiss German?” I ask, looking over at Bass for the answer.
Brett is possibly the nicest person I've ever met. But after three hours of this, I'm exhausted. And I'm also thinking that my dad needs to relocate Spy School to an English speaking country. Like New Zealand.
Bass says the Swiss German words and I'm about to repeat them to Brett when he speaks.
“Twinkie break?” Brett asks.
Which makes me smile.
“She is not allowed to eat Twinkies. Or anything artificial,” Bass says.
I turn to glare at Sebastian, and in perfect Swiss German, I tell him to piss off.
Brett and Sebastian both start laughing.
“I guess she just needed the proper motivation,” Brett says. “Maybe we should start with slang and then move on to more formal stuff.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine. As long as I get my Twinkie.”
“Oh, I wasn't joking about you not getting one,” Sebastian says. “Besides, dinner is almost ready. Apparently Gage is ordering Hunter and your dad around. Doing some sort of recipe they found online.”
“Hunter is... cooking?” I ask.
I’m afraid.
“Your dad is teaching him. He says it's important for every young bachelor to know how to cook. Something about it impressing girls?”
I laugh. “Oh, my gosh. That's too funny.” I wonder if that means Hunter is going to ask that girl out... I hope so. He deserves to be happy.
“It's weird. Your dad went from being paranoid that somebody on my team was going to try and date you, to giving us pointers on how to pick up chicks,” Brett says. “It's very bizarre.”
“Not so strange, actually,” I say. “I finally got him to realize that I'm not going to date any of you.”
“Really? How did you do that?” Brett asks.
I told him I was too enamored with another boy.
But that boy is currently standing in the room with us, so I can't tell Brett that.
“I will tell you later,” I say. “Right now, I want food. I'm pretty sure Bass made me burn off, like, a thousand calories on our run.”
“You ran half a mile,” Sebastian says.
“That far? No wonder I'm so famished,” I say, and walk towards the kitchen. I don't look back, but I know that Sebastian and Brett are following me. It’s something I’ve grown accustomed to—somebody always being there. It’s almost comforting after being left alone my whole life.
When I walk into the kitchen, Dad is yelling something at Hunter in Swiss German. This gives me a new motivation to learn the language. If everybody around me is going to be speaking the language, I need to know what they’re saying.
“I just realized, you and your dad are a lot alike,” Sebastian says.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing. Never mind,” Bass says.
“How was your lesson?” Dad asks, when we walk farther into the kitchen.
Brett answers for me. “Well, languages are definitely not her forte. But she does learn slang very easily.”
“Ah, don’t worry, Serenity. It’ll get easier,” Dad says.
“Yeah, yeah,” I say, waving a hand. “Is the food almost done? I’m starving.”
“Five more minutes,” Dad says. “Will you go get Sander? He’s down by the docks. Tell him the food is almost done.”
“Um, sure,” I say.
When I walk from the room, I’m surprised that nobody is following me. This whole my-dad-trusting-me thing is new. And strange. Though, I suppose he always trusted me. He just didn’t trust the guys.
I walk from the house towards the docks, where I find Sander. He’s standing there, looking out at the river.
“Hey,” I say, walking up behind him. “Dad said to come tell you that the food is almost ready.”
“Thanks,” Sander says, but doesn’t look towards me.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Finally, he looks over. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s really pretty here, right?”
“Very,” I say, agreeing.
“I have to leave,” Sander says, finally turning to look at me.
“To go where?”
“Massachusetts.”
“Oh. And you’re not coming back?” I ask.
“Not for a while,” he says.
“What are you doing there?”
He sighs. “There is this girl. Phoenix Black. Her dad is a politician and apparently he did something to anger a group of terrorist. They’re looking for her. The group is... nasty. And they’re good at what they do. Luckily for the girl, I am better. I’m going to go there and protect her.”
“Good,” I say. “How old is she?”
“Sixteen.”
“Ah, so she’s totally going to love you, then.”
“Why do you say that?” Sander asks.
“Are you kidding? The day you came to my school, pretty much every female was wiping drool from their faces,” I say.
“But not you.”
“I thought you were cute,” I say.
He smiles. “Good. I thought you were cute, too.”
“I was too skinny to be cute,” I say.
“You were always cute. But you’re looking a lot better now. Healthier. Happier,” Sander says. “Such a huge change from the girl who ate her lunch on the cafeteria floor.”
“You guys have changed me.”
“So, you have a thing for my cousin, right?”
“How does everybody know?” I ask.
“Sebastian doesn’t know. But that is because he’s an idiot. I love him, but he’s completely clueless,” Sander says.
“He doesn’t feel the same way,” I say. “So, it’s pointless.”
“My cousin may be an idiot, but I promise you that he very much likes you, too.”
“Yeah. He told me he likes me,” I say. “But as a friend. And I love that he’s my friend now, instead of my enemy, so I’m not going to complain. I’m okay having an unrequited crush. It’s called a crush for a reason, right?”
“Look, my cousin won’t even admit that he likes me,” Sander says. “And we’re family. The fact that he tells you he likes you is huge.”
I laugh, because that is exactly how Sebastian is.
“He’s changed since you came to Spy School. He’s less... callous. Maybe even nicer,” he says. “Bass has always been one to follow the rules. There is no way he would’ve left Spy School for anything or anybody. He didn’t even leave when his big sister graduated college. Or when his dad had surgery. But he left for you.”
“He left
because my dad asked him to,” I say. “He’s working for Spy School now instead of attending.”
“Bass could’ve graduated last year, but decided to stay and train one more year. He wants perfection,” Sander says. “He’s literally the best at our school.”
“I’m glad he’s here.”
“Me, too,” Sander says. “I guess we should head inside to eat.”
“Yeah, I’m starving.”
“You’re always hungry,” he says, as we walk back to the house.
“So, when are you leaving?”
“First thing in the morning,” he answers. “The sooner this girl has extra protection, the better.”
“Will you be in touch?”
“No, it’s too dangerous,” Sander says.
“I’m going to miss you.”
He stops just in front of the door and wraps his arms around me. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
And it’s true. Sander, Gage... all the guys... have become like family to me. Heck, they are family. And things aren’t going to be the same without Sander around. But I know that his job is important.
I hope that the girl he is going to protect will be okay.
But then again, how could she not be... with Sander protecting her?
Sander opens the door and we walk inside together.
Our last family meal before he leaves.
I have a feeling that after this, nothing will be the same again.
Thursday, August 31
A one-in-a-million kind of thing.
“Harder!” Sebastian yells at me.
I swing my fist at his hand, putting every ounce of force I can possibly muster behind the punch.
“It’s not hard enough,” he says, not even flinching.
“I can’t do it,” I say, my own knuckles are hurting from the impact.
“Yes, you can,” he says. “Now, try harder.”
Sebastian is trying to show me how to fight. The problem is I’m not very strong. I’m kind of short. And apparently I cannot throw a punch to save my life. Literally.
“You are pissing me off,” I tell him.
“Good. Get angry. Use your anger,” he says.
I swing another punch at him, but he blocks it again. It's like he doesn't even have to try.
“Serenity, learning how to do this could mean the difference between life and death in some situation,” Bass says. “Do you understand that?”
“I understand,” I say.
“Then why won’t you try harder?”
“I’m trying as hard as I can.”
Really, I am. I’m out of breath and I am sweating in places I didn’t know it was possible to sweat in. My body is sore, not just from the fighting, but also the running I’ve been doing all week. And I’m still exhausted from the change from Switzerland time to New Zealand time.
“Do it again,” he says.
“No,” I say, sitting down on the ground. “I’m done, Sebastian. I need a break.”
“And you think that somebody coming after you is going to give you a break?” Sebastian asks. “They won’t stop until you’re dead. Do you get that?”
“I’m not as strong as you are,” I tell him. “I don’t want to die, but I can’t do it.”
“Can’t or won’t? Because it doesn’t matter if I’m stronger or faster. You don’t have a choice,” he says. “You have to beat me. Now get up.”
“No,” I say, stubbornly.
“Serenity Sinclair, you are the most frustrating woman I have ever met.”
“And you’re the most frustrating guy I’ve ever met, Sebastian Soto.”
He laughs.
Which pisses me off more.
I use a move that he taught me and swing my leg under him, causing him to fall. He only fell for it because he wasn’t expecting it. The problem is, when I knock his legs out from under him, he falls on top of me.
“Ouch,” I say.
Sebastian’s whole body is literally shaking with laughter as he rolls off beside me.
I laugh too, because it is kind of funny.
But he suddenly stops laughing and looks at me. “I don’t want you to be hurt again. Seeing you lie in the hospital bed was torture for me.”
“But you didn’t even like me then,” I say, scooting so that I am facing him.
“You know that’s not true,” he says.
“It’s hard to tell if you like me,” I say. “Sometimes, it doesn’t seem like it. You say you do, but you don’t act like it.”
“I’m not good with the whole showing emotions thing,” he says. “Did you really not have any friends before you met the guys?”
I shake my head. “Not even one. I tried. Once. And I got into a lot of trouble for it. I’ve just been very lonely. Meeting the guys changed that. And they introduced me to the world. I know there is still a lot left to experience and I’m excited to do just that.”
“I guess I am starting to understand your relationship with them better,” Bass says.
“My dad is, too,” I say. “At least I finally got him to understand that there isn’t anything romantic going on with them.”
“Are you sure none of them feel that way about you?”
I shrug. “Even if somebody was interested in me, I don’t think I’d be able to tell. I always thought I was good at reading people. I mean, I used to watch people a lot from a distance. But reading them from a distance and reading them when you know them are two very different things.”
Bass doesn't say anything back. He just looks up at the sky. And I look at him, wishing that I could read his thoughts. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
People are far more complicated than I imagined them to be. In my head, they were simple. Easy. But Sebastian Soto is neither easy nor simple.
“I'm convinced life would be far simpler if everybody just spoke what they thought without fear of rejection,” I say.
He turns to me. “And what would you say if you weren't scared?”
“I don't know,” I answer. “Maybe I'd tell you that your eyes are the same color as the sky in Florida, and that I've never seen anything more amazing. Or I'd tell you that you're the most frustrating person on the planet. You piss me off quite often, and anger isn't an emotion I'm used to feeling.”
“You're telling me that your fake family grounded you from food for a month at a time, they kicked and hit you, locked you in closets, and who knows what else, and you're not used to being angry?”
“It sounds crazy, but I guess back then, I thought it was my fault,” I say. “I thought I deserved the punishments in some way. And I accepted them.”
“It's a good thing that people don't just speak their minds,” Sebastian says. “Because some things other people don't need to know. Like when a girl asks a guy if she looks fat. She doesn't want to hear him say yes. She just wants to hear him tell her that she's beautiful.”
I laugh. “Is that all it takes? Just to ask a guy if I look fat?”
“I don't think that would work for you,” Bass says.
“Because I'm still at least twenty pounds under weight,” I say. “I know. I'm skinny and gross. You don't need to remind me.”
“See. You do it, too,” he says, now smiling.
“I didn’t say that because I want you to tell me that I’m pretty, Bass,” I say. “I know that I’m not pretty. It’s okay. When I meet a guy one day that I want to date, I want him to like me for me, and not just the way I look on the outside.”
“You’re wrong about not being pretty,” Bass says. “You are very pretty. But I’ve met a lot of beautiful women in my lifetime. Spy School is full of them.”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” I say.
Because he’s right.
There are a lot of pretty girls at Spy School. Girls a lot prettier than I am.
This whole crush thing that I have on Sebastian is stupid. He would never, in a million years, date somebody like me. I’m too messed up. Too... strange. He deserves so much better.
“But the thing is it’s not just your looks that make you beautiful. It’s everything,” Sebastian says. “It’s how... well, you say you’re not meant for this life, right? But I know you’re wrong. You’ve already picked up so much. And a lot is just instinct with you. Instinct isn’t something that can be taught.”
“My instincts aren’t that great,” I say. “I trusted Nolan. And if I hadn’t watched him shoot Gage with my own eyes, I don’t think I would’ve believed it.”
“That’s not a bad thing. You’re loyal. And you love people to a fault,” he says. “You’re smart. You just know things that other people don’t. You pick up on people’s emotions in an almost scary way. Like how sometimes, when I am feeling sad, you just smile at me the exact moment I need it. That’s an incredible gift.”
“I didn’t know I did that,” I say.
“And maybe you didn’t tell me that you think you’re too skinny and ugly just so I’d give you a compliment, but I want to tell you anyway. Somebody needs you,” Bass says. “You’re unbelievably gorgeous. Like, sometimes when I look at you, it’s hard to breathe. I’ve never met anybody more stunning in my life. And I’m just glad that I get to be here now with you, because I’m convinced that meeting you isn’t a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. I think it’s a one-in-a-million kind of thing.”
He looks back up at the sky.
And I lay there in stunned silence.
How can Sebastian make me so furious one second and make me want to melt into a puddle the next?
Lex Luthor.
After training with Sebastian, my dad actually let me take a break. He has been making me train from sun up to sun down, but I think he gets that I’m so sore I can hardly move at this point.
I know that training is important. I know that it can literally mean life or death. But all of this is really hard. I haven’t been trained my whole life like the rest of the guys. And the fact that I just recently started getting enough calories to function like a normal human doesn’t help either.
I’m reading a book on my iPad. My dad bought it for me. He also got me a phone, but I don’t ever use it.
Well, that’s not true. I did send a text to Sander. I know that his plane landed today and I wanted to make sure he made it okay. He texted back and said he was okay, but that he couldn’t talk to me again for a while. I will miss him, but I know his job is important. I know that the girl he is protecting will be safe because of him.
Keeping Me (Spy Chronicles Book 2) Page 9
