by Sarah Tork
There’s a knock on my door and it opened without an invite. Mom entered my room. “The kids have gone for sleepovers and your father has gone to see his parents. He’ll be home late. I’m meeting Aunt Judy and my friend Cindy for Black Friday shopping. You want to come? I’m going to be back late, though. I’ll probably be back around two or three in the morning.” She cringed, because her normal bedtime was max eleven at night. I got excited. Her staying out late might have been the best news yet. I could do something about my loneliness.
“No, thanks.” I shook my head, trying to hide the excited smile off my face. “Can I sleep over at Jenna’s house tonight?”
Sleeping over at Jenna’s house was the best lie on reserve.
Mom crossed her arms over chest, looking confused. “Isn’t Jenna doing Thanksgiving with her family?”
I got off my bed and sat on my desk chair, trying to play the situation neutral. “I’m sure they’re finished by now. I just spoke with her. She’s watching a movie at her house right now.”
Mom cringed again, not conceding yet. “Are you sure you don’t want to come out with me?”
What was her problem? I’ve never gone shopping with her on Black Friday. She never wanted me to come before, so why now? She needed to take a hint, and leave me to my night.
You are so dramatic!
I fake yawned, stretching my arms over my head. “I’m really tired. I just want a quiet night to relax.”
Come on! Just say yes and leave!
But it wasn’t my lucky night. My mom pointed to my bed. “Then stay home and go to sleep.”
I exhaled, because screw it. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay home.”
She smiled, victorious. “Good. Now, do you need any underwear? I’m picking up some for the kids and I know it’s been awhile since I bought you any?”
This is not happening! The urge to scream was strong, but I sucked in a sharp breath instead and held still from shaking. “I’m… good. I have enough underwear.” I answered slowly.
“You can never have enough underwear, from one woman to another.” She gave me a wink, a firm nod and exited my room, only to bolt back inside. “But, oh my God! Size difference, hello! Are you still wearing a large? You should be a medium now, no? And tell me what kind you like, boy shorts or briefs. But, I won’t – I WON’T buy you any thongs.”
OH MY GOD!
*~*~*
ANNABELLE
Mom’s been gone for an hour and I’ve been all by myself, staring at my phone, unsure if I should take the plunge, swallow my pride and call first. Despite wanting what I wanted, I thought about what led us to this point, yet again. I wanted him to reach out first, but would he?
I thought about his gorgeous face, those beautiful eyes staring down at me, his strong muscled arms wrapped around my body, and being held beneath the strength of his warm body. My bedroom ceiling was no good to me right now. Because I closed my eyes and imagined his hand reaching lower down my waist, sending my mind in a tailspin of wonder and excitement.
“I love you, baby.” Tiger caressed my face, his fingertips lingering by my lips, circling them slowly… sensually, sending a shiver down my spine. “Fireball, don’t ever leave me like that again.”
“Okay, I won’t.” I whispered softly. “I love you, Tiger.”
He looked around my room, returning his face to me with a sinister expression, as if he’d been plotting. “We’re all alone,”
Gulping, I arched my back up, pressing my chest into his. I licked my lips slowly. “Yes, we are.”
“No one’s home,” he gave me a sexy half smile, filled with promise.
I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, stopping him right where our lips were about to brush. “Then let’s not waste anymore time.” I whispered. “Make love to me, James.”
My phone vibrated, chiming with an incoming text. My intense fantasy disappeared and my heart rate slowed down. Was the cure to my loneliness sending me a text? But one look at the screen and I was disappointed yet again. While my heart sank in misery, I sat up against my bed and opened the text.
Dean: Hey! Sorry about not responding. I just got back home.
Annabelle: It’s okay. Did you have a good time?
Dean: I had great time. My family’s kind of crazy.
Annabelle: I think I have you beat on that. My family is the definition of crazy.
Dean: Hahahahaha. There’s no way your family is crazier than mine.
Annabelle: LOL, wanna bet?
Dean: I will take that bet, all day every day. What are the terms?
Annabelle: The terms?
Dean: Like, if I win, what do I get?
Annabelle: LOL I don’t know. What do you want?
What do you want? Huh? Why am I joking with Dean like this?
I saw dots come and go from Dean’s side of the conversation, and the fact that he wasn’t answering right away meant one thing, our conversation stretched beyond the vicinity of carelessness, heading straight for awkwardness.
I don’t need this right now…
Dean: What I really want, I can’t have.
Annabelle: Then let’s call it even. Both our families are equally crazy.
Dean: Alright.
Annabelle: Alright.
Dean: So…
Dean: You going shopping tonight?
Annabelle: Nah, I’m staying in tonight.
Dean: Why not?
Annabelle: My mom is going with my aunt, and I don’t feel like being stuck with them in huge lines till four in the morning. LOL.
Dean: I can respect that. My mom loves Black Friday shopping and the whole family has to go. I’m the oldest, so I’m in charge of manning the shopping cart and making sure no one takes our stuff.
Annabelle: Wow, that’s no joke. Ever been in a fight over someone trying to steal your stuff?
Dean: I have, but never while shopping. Someone stole something from me and I’m still fighting.
Annabelle: Fighting for what?
Dean: I think it’s obvious.
Annabelle: It’s not. Anyways TTYL
Truth.
It WAS obvious.
But, I had to keep things neutral.
Chapter 17
ANNABELLE
Friday November 23, 2012
At noon, lunchtime adventures took over the kitchen. My mom came barging up the stairs like a woman possessed, shouting to the ends of Earth about finding six random items in our kitchen and creating something spectacular. She whipped up this rice, tomato sauce, pinto bean, curry thing with a side of frozen broccoli and corn mixed in.
Dad was “busy”. He took his “lunch” to go and returned to the basement. Charles ran out, something about an impromptu soccer game down at the park. He wanted hot dogs for lunch and conned five dollars from Mom using a “sweet innocent” smile.
So that left me, Mom and Katherine… for lunch, together…. ugh (insert cringe face here).
“It’s really good, Mommy.” Katherine gushed. She was on her last spoonful, and if I didn’t know her so well, I’d swear she actually liked the dish.
Mom’s face resembled pure joy. “Thank you, sweetheart.” She faced me next; like it was my turn to praise her. Lying felt wrong this time, so the safe route was in order. I smiled, kept quiet, and took my last spoonful. It wasn’t bad, but I’d never eat this again. Mom definitely overdid it with the spices. In fact, my acid reflex was acting up. I held my chest and got up.
“Thanks,” I muttered and placed my plate in the dishwasher. Katherine joined me by the sink with her cleared plate. “I’ll take it,” I held my hand out for her plate but she stayed still.
“I’ll wash it,” I tried again, but she wouldn’t budge.
Her blue eyes looked right through me, like I was this thorn in her way. “Are you done? Because if you’re done, I’d like to wash my plate.”
“I just offered to do it for you.” I said.
Katherine sneered at me. “I don’t want you to do it for me. I
’m perfectly capable of cleaning my own plate.”
Mom joined us. “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing, except Katherine’s being difficult again.” I wiped my hands with a dishtowel and walked away as Katherine was on the verge of erupting into a preteen fit.
“I’m being difficult!”
I stopped in-between the doorway. “Yeah, you’re being difficult. I don’t know what your problem is with me, but you need to get over it. I’ve never done anything… anything to you, to get this shit back.”
And Mom didn’t like that. “Annabelle! Don’t use that word with your sister.”
I scoffed and shook my head.
Because this was bullshit.
What a shocker…. Katherine’s the victim, again!
“Annabelle!” Mom screeched, but I left the kitchen and ran up the stairs. Staying in the kitchen would only lead to my demise.
“You see, Mommy. She’s the one making problems, not me. She’s the difficult one, not me!”
I slammed my door shut and made a mental note. Keep snacks in room again, and avoid the kitchen for meals that include only the Simms women.
Done.
Later in the day, and without checking my phone either, I was at my wits’ end. Who knew a preteen girl, my little sister was capable of acting like a grade “A” bitch. I had no idea what I ever did to that girl, or what provoked her to scowl in disgust in my presence. I wanted to be someone she looked up to, but her snooty attitude made it impossible to be cordial.
“Ugh, she’s so annoying!”
I grabbed my blanket tightly. Katherine was being loud from her bedroom for a reason, and she was testing my patience by the millisecond. I’d march to her room and start an epic fight, making sure my little sister understood whom she was dealing with.
“She’s a loser, I swear! But I’m scared, Beth. I mean, what if I have the loser gene, too?”
Incredible!
My eyes were on the verge of popping out. My anger was spiraling out of control. Realizing that Katherine saw me as nothing but her punching bag, just so she could show off to her friends – future Donna’s and Latisha’s…. was beyond tragic.
I knew Katherine was a part of the popular group for her entire sixth grade class, but her superiority complex was scaring me. I mean… who else was she treating like the spit beneath her shoe?
I had to find out.
Right now.
Her door was open. Lounging on her bed, with her phone to her ear, Katherine quickly glared at her older, much wiser sister, AKA me. “I’ll call you back, Beth.” She got off the phone and her little prissy girl routine began.
“I’m going to ask Mom to clear an hour from your schedule this weekend. You and I need to start bonding.” I grinned and leaned against her doorframe.
“No thanks,” she said and played with her phone again.
I cleared my throat. “No thanks? Katherine, it’s not an offer, it’s a promise.”
Her jaw dropped, totally shocked. “Why would I ever want to spend a whole hour with you? I don’t want to spend a second with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to!”
“But why?” The smirk was struggling to come out, but I restrained it at risk of Katherine tackling me away from her room. I’ve never done something like this to her before.
“Because I don’t like you!” she snarled, jumping off her bed.
“Well, I’m glad you’re finally honest with me.”
Mom came huffing up the stairs. “What’s going on here?”
“Annabelle barged in to my room uninvited, and she’s bothering me!”
“Bothering her?” I cringed, feeling genuinely disgusted. It was game freaking over, and I knew exactly what I needed to do. “Mom, I’d like to help Katherine with her homework on Sunday.”
Mom jerked back, it’s her turn to be shocked. “Well, that’s nice of you, Annabelle.” She faced a shocked Katherine. “Don’t you have a science project due before Christmas break, and a ton of homework you haven’t started yet?”
“I don’t want her help!”
“So it’s on, it’s settled!” I clapped my hands excitedly. “Sunday, a work session for your science project and maybe we’ll get some of your other homework done, too.”
“She’s bothering me!” Katherine cried.
I returned to my room while Mom handled her little princess. Katherine, like a girl possessed, screamed and hurled insults.
“She’s an idiot!”
“Katherine Simms, you bite your tongue this instant, young lady!”
Older sister mode: Commenced.
Respect was on the horizon.
*~*~*
ANNABELLE
Here’s the part where I lie and say everything’s okay, that I wasn’t sitting at my desk staring blankly at my laptop screen wishing for an update on Facebook.
The world spinning as usual stopped back smack right where reality left off, where my belly squirmed in discomfort making room for butterflies agitated by the master and commander of vessel Annabelle for locking them in since Tuesday, keeping that crazy to a simmer. The crazy meant unstable, I couldn’t handle it, so I ignored it.
It’s the choice I made.
I’ve been saying that a lot these days.
Now everything about me was awake, demanding things and making requests, being unapologetically rude because I wouldn’t snap to and serve my heart, my body and my soul the feels they ached for.
Peter: Party, my house, 9 p.m. seniors and hot juniors only.
I clicked off Facebook, closed my laptop, and felt a rush of emotions. There it was, the sign I’d been waiting for all day, courtesy of Peter Morris’s timeline. I was practically positive that my “boyfriend” would be there chilling with his boys, drinking that drink, and maybe ignoring one or two “hot” girls who thought his love was open for business. The question was, what would James do?
Pride and courage were force fields all day today, yesterday, and the day before, prolonging this confusion between us. Who’d call first, who’d beg for forgiveness first, who’d call and let emotions rip the brick wall, blocking views that would put everything to rest, be it good or bad.
Friday nights meant freedom. And making matters easier, I was the only one home. Katherine escaped with Mom, going shopping with Grandma and Aunt Clair again for last minute deals. Dad went over to his brother’s house for a guys night, and Charles, well, he was out and I had no idea where.
And as far as my family knew, I would be at “Jenna’s” till tomorrow. So, with my violet dress on, a fabulous high ponytail and minimal makeup on my face, I slid into flip-flops and headed to Peter’s house. Halfway there, a storm of realizations struck me like lighting. My body had changed, but my mind had not, at least not in the way I would have liked. Perhaps the mental “growth” I ached for would come with time. But that also meant I’d have to deal with life as it was, and that’s going to be some mountain to climb right now. As I closed in on Peter’s house, my anxiety was hitting the roof.
How am I going to do this? Why is this even happening? Why am I always in this position? Why can’t my relationship be smooth sailing, and confusion free?
“Dude, your mission if you choose to take it,” Red plastic cups were back with a vengeance. Thanks to spiked punch, a group of partiers were having fun on Peter’s driveway. “Hop three times on your left foot and drink that special drink - drink without um… spilling, because that’s against the law!”
“Bro, don’t spill the juice.”
“It’s against the law.”
“Dismissed from the gang, brah.”
They laughed louder as they played their drinking games. I was envious, because I wanted to be careless like them. They were free.
Before I delved deeper at my lack of mental freedom, cars raced down the street. Instantly, I hid by the bushes as a black Honda, a red minivan and a silver hatchback screeched to a stop in front of Peter’s house. I
knew the blonde haired blue-eyed boy slamming his car door shut. His best friend, and players from the Pleasant View High Baseball Team joined him by the hood of the car with the same pissed off attitude. They wanted a fight, as if a rival team had stolen their trophy from the big game earlier and they wanted it back, at any cost. Metaphorically speaking, “the trophy” was their dignity.
“Look who’s come back for another beating?”
Someone banged the proverbial gong, thus pressing play on this fight. These boys weren’t here to braid hair and be comrades. Panning to Peter’s front door, out charged every partier with Peter, Roy, Tom and James coming out last. Seeing James made me sick, a good sick… a heart wrenching sick. James stood front and center, cockier, and a hell of lot more ruthless than I’d ever seen before. With an army behind him, waiting on his command, my boyfriend had his other face on with probably only one thing on mind, and that was to put whoever annoyed him in their place. The shit-eating grin made its presence and the opposition did not like that, because it was disrespect. Dean and his army took steps closer but stayed on public property.
