"And you love it. Wow," Trevor went on, crouching down behind her and running his hands over her bare bottom. "Looks like someone came pretty close to getting blistered yesterday."
"Ooh! You mean I have marks?" Silver looked over her shoulder, trying to see.
"You do. It's a good thing you were able to tell us apart from the way we kissed you last night, otherwise you would not be sitting down today. We'd have to rename you 'Purple girl', and it doesn't quite have the same ring to it."
"As much as I adore that colour, it isn't as shiny," Silver agreed.
"You do have the most amazing butt," Trevor went on, still admiring the way her slender waist curved out into full, rounded buttocks. "I can't look at it without getting hard."
"Again, Master? And there I was, thinking I'd satisfied you both last night."
"No sulking." Travis kissed the tip of her nose. "You always satisfy us. It just so happens that we can't get enough of you."
Trevor slid her Snoopy shirt back down over her naked backside and swallowed back the stab of annoyance he felt at the thought that Marshall had put those marks on her, instead of him or Travis. The urge to claim her once more as theirs was overwhelming—somehow the thought that she had been disciplined by someone else—even formally and with no sexual undertones—made him long to bend her over and cover those reminders with his own. It was ridiculous and immature, he knew, but Silver had a way about her which brought out not only his protective instinct, but also an extremely possessive side he hadn't even known he'd had. He wanted to share her with Travis, who was the yin to his yang, without whom he didn't feel complete—but no-one else, not even Marshall, not even purely for punishment. Trevor wondered idly whether his brother felt the same way.
Silver finished making the coffees and smiled, happily, as she handed one each to the twins and took her own before going to the sofa and sitting down.
"I'm so glad you asked me to stay," she said, after a few moments of comfortable silence. "Although I'm still a little overwhelmed by everything that happened yesterday."
"Any particular part of it?" Trevor probed, carefully.
She frowned. "Well, yes. The session with Master Marshall..."
The brothers waited for her to elaborate. When she said nothing more, Travis reached out and took her hand in his. "What about it, sweetheart?"
Silver glanced towards the huge bay windows, through which a cool January sun was glowing. "I don't want to talk about it now," she said, sulkily.
Trevor laid a hand on her bare thigh, the pressure of his fingertips leaving her in no doubt as to whether or not he meant business. "This is going to stop right now, girlie," he said, firmly. "As of last night, that chain around your neck has become less an ornament, and more a symbol of ownership. Travis and I want to take care of you—but we can only do that if you let us in. And that includes telling us the good, the bad, and the ugly. Especially the ugly."
"But it's all in the past, anyway!" she protested, hotly. "It's not like either of you can go back and change it, make it all better. So I prefer to avoid thinking about it wherever possible."
"And that's exactly why you found yourself in Master Marshall's office yesterday," Travis said. "Because you can't deal with things by ignoring them. If anything, they grow and fester, getting worse and worse..."
"Until you feel you need to be bent over a complete stranger's desk, your skirt up and your panties down, with a strap, paddle—or whatever—applied to you so hard that you can hardly walk afterwards... until you're crying."
Silver's pale, aqua eyes met Trevor's, and he saw the flicker of uncertainty in them. "How did you know he used a strap and a paddle on me?"
"He told us, when we went there to find you after you never returned," he said, evenly.
"Well, he shouldn't have. That was meant to be confidential."
Trevor had to bite back a chuckle. "He's not a doctor or a lawyer, sweetheart, nor is he a psychologist, although sometimes I do wonder. He knows how to push, how to test, how to probe. No-one is safe from him, not even the other Masters."
Travis shot his brother a rueful smile.
"Why do I get the feeling that I'm missing something?" Silver asked.
"You can lose the petulant tone for a start, girl," Trevor said, sharply.
"Sorry, Master."
"That's better. As I was saying, Marshall called us back into his office last night, just before we came to your room."
"Why?"
"When we came looking for you, we were... ah, kinda disrespectful to him," Travis began. "But only because we were so worried and desperate to find you. We demanded that he tell us where you were, and he ended up telling us that he'd think about it."
"He let us stew—and hunt for you—for hours," Trevor said with a sigh. "Turns out he was testing us. Wouldn't give you up until he was convinced we were serious about you. He also said he got the feeling that there was something hurting you inside—something which came to the surface yesterday, which is what resulted in your emotional flood."
"He-he did?" Silver was incredulous. "How could he possibly know that?"
"Baby, you're not the first girl to seek out physical pain as a way to deal with emotional pain. Nor will you be the last."
"I don't understand." She frowned, and it was all Trevor could do to stop himself from kissing the little lines which suddenly appeared between her eyebrows. "So... I'm not a masochist? I'm just fucked up?"
"Oh no, Silver girl, you are most definitely a masochist. I'm willing to bet you anything that, even though you weren't turned on at all while you were in that office, your panties were still soaking when you came out." Travis ruffled her hair.
She blushed. "I did wonder how that came to be."
"Using physical pain in order to deal with emotional trauma isn't a good idea," Trevor said, "but it's a completely separate thing to getting off on pain in a kinky/masochistic sense. Not the same at all. It's very important that you realize that."
"I was so confused," she said, slowly. "I didn't really know why I'd asked to go to see him in the first place, and then, he started saying things, and I started to cry. I never normally cry, not properly. Little tears... of happiness, sadness, when I yawn, when I gag..." she blushed even deeper, "but not full-on bawling. So when it just overcame me yesterday, I was stunned by it. And it wasn't because of what he was doing, or spanking me with, it was... it was..."
"Because what he was saying was bringing the inner hurt to the surface," Travis finished for her. "And we need to know all about that inner hurt, babygirl."
"I know it's gonna be hard for you to tell us, sweetheart, but we can't help you unless you share your pain with us. And if you don't, it's only going to start growing again inside you, like weeds, until it comes bursting out the same way it did yesterday. I do not want a repeat of that. Not ever."
She sighed. "I suppose you're right. But if I tell you, do you promise you'll just listen, and not get angry or anything?"
"We promise," they both said in unison.
Taking a deep breath, Silver took hold of each of her Master's hands, as if to draw strength from them, as she began to talk.
Trevor listened, biting down on his growing fury, as Silver told the twins about her two year relationship with Eric, who had been controlling and emotionally abusive.
"He told me what to wear, where I could go, wouldn't let me see my family or any of my friends," she said, gripping Trev's hand so hard her knuckles were white. "He used to send me to the shops and time me—I had to be home within twenty minutes, otherwise he'd get really, really cross. Whenever there was a queue at the cash register, I got into trouble. And, worst of all, he'd tell me things..." her voice caught.
"What kinds of things, baby?" Travis coaxed, and Trevor could tell that, despite his brother's gentle tone, he too was livid at what he was hearing.
"That I was ugly. Worthless. Fat. Useless. Stupid. That any man would rather be with another girl than with me." Silver's voice was t
oneless. "Even though he was only my second relationship and I was nineteen, he called me a slut and a whore and stuff because I wasn't a virgin when we met. He shouted at me a lot, saying all these awful things, until I was curled up in the corner, crying, and then he'd just leave for the night, and lock me in the apartment. I didn't know where he was or what he was doing. I was so afraid. When he finally came home, I'd tell him how scared I'd been, and he'd say that I deserved to be scared."
Trevor couldn't remember the last time he'd experienced such a white-hot fury—he was almost blinded by it. Breathe, he reminded himself, we promised her not to get angry. The very thought of anyone treating his—their—Silver girl that way was like knives in his heart, his gut, in his soul. He balled his other hand—the one she wasn't gripping—into a fist, forcing himself to remain calm.
"I started to get anxiety attacks," Silver went on, quietly. She was amazingly detached, as though she was talking about someone else. "And he told me that I was a nutcase, that no-one else would ever want anyone like me. He wouldn't let me go out to work, but he always put me down for not contributing financially. A part of me didn't want to believe it was all really happening; he'd been so charming when we first met. And he always knew just how far he could push, whenever he'd gone too far and I started to seriously consider running away, he'd turn that charm back on."
"Sounds like a textbook case of an abusive relationship," Travis said, tightly.
"I know that now, but I had no idea it was abusive when I was living it," she said. "Because he never hit me, you see. I always said to myself, "the minute he punches me, I'm gone," but that never happened. He would scream at me until he was hoarse, but he never ever raised a hand to me. And when you think of an abused woman, you always think of black eyes and stuff. You know?"
For the first time since she'd begun to speak, she met Trevor's gaze, and there was no mistaking the raw agony in her pale, beautiful eyes. "I understand," he said, slowly.
"And besides," she went on, "you get told something often enough, you start to believe it. By the time he dumped me for someone else, I was convinced that everything he said to me was true—I was stupid, fat, ugly, worthless, no-one would ever love me... all those things." She took a deep breath and exhaled, shakily. "Sometimes I wish he had just hit me and been done with it. Bruises heal much more quickly and easily than emotional scars, as it turns out. Later, when I went to Australia and met Stephen, he tried to heal me, to reassure me that everything Eric had always said was bullshit, but when he grew distant and disinterested himself, I started to think that maybe I just wasn't good enough. For anyone."
There was a long, long pause. "Well, fuck," Travis muttered.
Trevor was fighting the urge to throw back his head and roar with rage. He wasn't normally an aggressive type, but at that moment, he wanted to hunt Eric down with every fiber of his being... and make the little fucker pay, slowly, and excruciatingly painfully.
He looked at Silver, and the mere sight of her, with her white-blonde hair tumbling around her pale face, the red rims around her aquamarine eyes, her bitten lower lip and that stupid grinning Snoopy on her chest, damn near broke his heart.
After all that Eric did to her, she never left him, he thought, bitterly. He actually left her. And so did Stephen. Trevor didn't blame her ex-husband as much... people grew apart in relationships, was just a fact of life, but after what had happened to Silver before her marriage, he could see how a disinterested man could seem to the girl like even more proof that she wasn't worthy.
"I need another coffee," he said, carefully. "Anyone else?"
"I'll have another too, please," Silver said. "Thank you."
"I'm good for now, thanks bro," Trav muttered, obviously wrestling with his own emotions.
Once he was in the kitchen, Trevor set about making the coffee mechanically, while hot tears stung his eyes and trickled down his cheeks. Christ, no wonder verbal humiliation was a hard limit—probably brought a whole series of flashbacks back to the surface. I could murder Eric, he realized with a sudden clarity. Without hesitation. I never used to think I was capable of even thinking that way, but now...
Taking several deep breaths, Trevor rubbed his face and fought to regain his composure, before going back to the lounge.
"Thank you, Master," Silver said, as he set the steaming mug down in front of her.
"Thank you, sweetheart, for telling us. It can't have been easy."
"The worst thing," she whispered, "is the guilt."
"Guilt? Oh baby, what could you possibly feel guilty about? You did nothing wrong," Travis said.
"F-for not leaving Eric. For being too s-stupid to realise what he was doing to me. And that's what b-brought it all back up yesterday. When Master Marshall asked me whether I felt I needed to be p-punished for anything, I realised that yes, I did. For letting that happen to me."
Trevor had been about to react, but his brother was quicker. Travis pulled Silver into his arms and began to scold her, in between covering her with kisses.
"You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, babygirl, none of this was your fault. You were nineteen, for fuck's sake! Christ, if I ever got a hold of that little fucking prick..."
"He lied to you, Silver girl," Trevor said, as firmly as he could. "Eric was a pathetic little nobody who needed to put others down to make himself feel better. It's not an excuse for what he did to you—there is no excuse—but you need to realize that every single awful thing he said to you was purely to bolster his own ego. Not a word of it was true. You are the opposite of what he said; you're clever, witty, sweet, sexy, wonderful, beautiful—you're perfect in every single way. You hear me?"
She nodded.
"Good. Because we're gonna tell you that every day until you actually believe it yourself. And then we're gonna keep telling you. Because it's true. Now come here. It's my turn."
When she was in his arms and he was kissing that soft, trembling mouth, Trevor closed his eyes and vowed to make sure that she learned just what she was really worth, no matter what it took.
Chapter Sixteen
Silver rolled over, and stretched luxuriously. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so rested and relaxed.
Hard to believe I've been here for just under a month—I'm like a new person. I am a new person, come to think of it. Sylvia became Silver, she shed her skin and is now shining. And I have Travis and Trevor to thank for it. My Masters.
A smile curved her lips as she thought of the two men who had done more to make her happy in mere weeks than others had done over the course of years. Reaching up, she fingered the padlock on the chain they had put around her neck on the night of the auction. Just the memory of the looks in their eyes, when they had come to her guest quarters on the day of her session with Master Marshall, was enough to make her tummy flip, and her insides to turn liquid with longing. And the time since then had passed in a blur of devoted ecstasy... with busy days and white-hot nights.
The twins had gone out for the afternoon, and although Silver knew that they had jobs to do, and wanted them to keep them, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of fear at the thought that they might at any time find a girl they liked better. It was certainly possible, with temptation around every corner of the vast Castle. Sure, they had asked her to stay, but she wasn't sure for how long… and she didn't want to wear out her welcome.
Don't be silly, she scolded herself. You see how they are with you, surely you know by now that they really care. Would they spend almost all of their spare time with you if they wanted to spend it elsewhere? You've got nothing to worry about. You've still got issues, that's the only reason why you're so insecure about this. Look at all the new rules they're giving you, for a start.
"We're known for being laid-back and easygoing, but when we have our own girl, we can be pretty strict," Travis had told her, and he hadn't been kidding. Silver's list of rules was growing daily, but instead of feeling stifled, she found herself thriving on the structure
and control. Having been heading into the unknown, and feeling lost, for so long, it was a relief to know exactly what was expected of her; at least for the time being. On top of that, the effort the twins put into watching and guiding her made her feel safe and cared for.
And of course, I get to break some of the flimsier rules... we all enjoy the consequences of that, she thought, as she turned on the shower. Turns out Travis was right, I do have a bit of brat in me after all. I was just afraid to let her out before, for fear of losing their affection.
Trevor had assured her that, while there would be consequences if she disobeyed them or let her sometime smart mouth run away with her, they would never include the twins booting her out. "If you're lucky, and it's a soft rule," he'd said, with his devastating smile, "we'll bend you over and give you a good dose of something thuddy. If you're less lucky, it will be something stingy. If you wind up breaking a hard rule, like putting yourself down, you will be punished accordingly, but never, ever emotionally. It's time you learned the difference between use and abuse—between a Master and an insecure asshole. Understand, Silver girl?"
And she did understand, but her fear remained. The nicer they are to me, the more I'm falling in love with them… and the more it's going to hurt when they do get bored of me and ask me to leave. I can't win; I want to stay here for as long as possible, but that's only going to make the heartbreak even worse. Besides, my ticket expires in a month, and this is America, I can't just stay here forever on a tourist visa, not on my British passport.
Silver had no doubt that Travis and Trevor cared for her, and couldn't get enough of her sexually—that feeling was certainly mutual—but she had been careful to avoid ever using the L-word to either of them. Not only did it seem far too soon to be saying it, even though she knew deep down that she already loved them both with all of her fragile heart, but she was terrified that they didn't feel the same way.
As she dried herself off and went to kneel, naked, by the door to their apartment, Silver felt the familiar twinges of excitement, trepidation, and devotion in her heart and loins she always did when she was about to see her Masters. Closing her eyes, and pushing any negative thoughts aside, she breathed deeply and waited.
When The Gavel Falls (Masters of the Castle) Page 23
