But worst of all was the potential for black ice. She knew despite her all-wheel drive, she could still slide unexpectedly if she hit a patch of the damned, invisible stuff. She gripped the steering wheel tighter, as if that would keep the car on course.
She slowed a bit more as the snow thickened and swirled around her. It had begun falling so suddenly and so quickly that the plows had not yet gotten out and made a dent in it. The whiteness accumulated on the road, obscuring the lane lines. She cursed herself for not getting on the road way ahead of the storm.
Amanda came upon a light-colored car partway in the ditch. With all the snow, she didn’t see it until nearly the last minute, and had to swerve to avoid clipping it. She fought down panic and tried not to overcorrect her steering as she felt the rear of the Forester fishtail with the sudden movement. She just got by the ditched car without hitting it, and the Forester regained its footing. Thank God there had been no one in the lane next to her. She took a few deep breaths to try to calm herself.
This was going to be a very long drive.
Amanda pulled off in Zumbrota. It had taken her an hour longer than it should have just to get that far. Her wiper blades were thick with snow and nearly useless. She wanted to knock them clean, get some gas and coffee and stretch a little before getting back on the road.
Anxious for some really good coffee, she turned into the Casey’s station. After topping her tank and clearing off her wiper blades, she pulled into a parking spot, went inside and used the restroom. Once she’d finished, she ventured back out to the store, poured herself some coffee and went to the counter to pay.
“Terrible driving weather today.” The older clerk brushed aside a strand of gray hair that had crept into her line of vision. “Makes me glad to be in here, at least I’m warm.” She smiled.
“Yeah, pretty bad. I’m still trying to get to the Twin Cities in this mess.”
“You crazy? They say it’s not going to let up until sometime tomorrow. Why don’t you just find a room in town here? They’re saying people should avoid driving until the plows get on top of this.”
Amanda sighed. “Can’t help it. A friend is having surgery tomorrow. I’ve got to push on.”
The clerk shook her head. “Well, be careful, then, dear.”
“I will.” Amanda smiled, left the store and hurried to her car.
She sat inside and savored her coffee for a few minutes before venturing back out. She pulled out her cell phone and noticed there was a voicemail. She hadn’t even heard it ring. She’d been focusing all her attention on peering out through the cramped clearings in the windshield that her wipers had managed to eke out.
She listened to the message. It was Jeremy, calling to see where she was. She checked the timestamp—nearly forty-five minutes ago. She quickly called and updated him. Then she started the car and braced herself for the remainder of the drive.
CHAPTER 25
Jeremy glanced at his watch for maybe the tenth time in the last fifteen minutes. Nearly two hours had passed since Amanda called from Zumbrota. She should have arrived about an hour ago, but all bets were off when there was a snow storm like this. He’d checked the weather, and heard they were pulling the plows off the road in some spots because conditions had become too dangerous, even for them.
He wished he could have simply hired a local contract home care nurse. Then Amanda wouldn’t be out in this weather trying to get to Minnetonka. Of course, that wouldn’t have worked. How would he have explained what procedure he was to undergo, and under what conditions? He was damned lucky Amanda had agreed to come. Now he just hoped she arrived soon—and safely.
Jeremy puttered around the house, too nervous to know what to do with himself. Too nervous about Amanda. Too nervous about the procedure that awaited him in less than twenty-four hours. He’d already taken care of everything else that was in his control. Glen and Tim were well positioned to handle anything that arose at SomaGene while he was convalescing. He’d already stocked up on enough groceries for Armageddon and beyond. He’d even caught up on all the laundry and general straightening around the house—a first.
Unfortunately, he’d completely run out of things to do except worry. On that score, he had plenty left to do. He still couldn’t shake off his encounter with the Subject. He’d been rattled by the Subject’s response to him and the strange sensation that had coursed through his fingertips—and his reaction had clearly upset the Subject. The whole scene kept replaying in his mind as if it happened moments ago.
The Subject. He doesn’t even have a name.
Probably just as well. To have a name would humanize him even more, and Jeremy felt guilty enough. He wondered what would go through the Subject’s mind when he was brought into surgery—and after.
A terrifying thought occurred to Jeremy. What if a more extensive portion of intestine needed to be removed than they anticipated? It was certainly possible once he lay open on the table and Glen could see everything firsthand, rather than relying on imaging equipment.
For that matter, how much did he really trust Glen? He was so hell-bent on trying to convince him to accept the total large and small intestine transplant. He’d made his wishes clear, but…what if Glen went ahead with the full procedure anyway?
The doorbell rang.
Distracted from that disturbing line of thought for the moment, Jeremy hurried to the front door to find Amanda standing there, two bags slung over her shoulders. She was bundled up in a thick down coat. Her hair was askew, and she looked exhausted.
“That had to be the worst drive ever.” She stepped inside and dropped her bags to the floor. “Lost count of all the ditched cars, and did a fair amount of fishtailing myself.” She gave a small smile. “But I’m here.”
Jeremy resisted the urge to take her in his arms. Barely. “I’m glad you are. I’ve been so worried. You must be hungry. I’ve got just about everything imaginable in the kitchen.”
Amanda shed her coat and gloves. “Actually, I am. I didn’t eat much today, and it’s been hours since I even stopped for gas.”
“Here, let me take those. Why don’t you just settle in and relax and I’ll make us something.” Jeremy reached for her coat and gloves. In doing so, he touched her hand, then gently squeezed it. “It’s the least I can do before I’m the one who needs to be waited on for a while.” He tried to smile. “Thank you for coming. I…” He gazed down at the floor for a moment, then looked back up at her. “I really don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come.”
She smiled, almost shyly, and squeezed his hand in return. “I guess I just couldn’t leave you to face this alone.”
“I’ll get started on dinner, then. I have to limit my portion, then I have to take that stuff that clears out the colon so things are…ready.”
Amanda cast him a concerned look. “Oh, I suppose. Any other prep?”
“No that’s about it. No more solid food after, say, eight, then be sure to drink that awful stuff. They want me to report to surgery about eight tomorrow morning.”
“Better make it an early night, then.”
“Somehow, I doubt I’ll sleep.”
CHAPTER 26
Tim worked alone in the surgery early that morning, laying out the necessary instruments and supplies with gloved hands. Enough for two. He glanced behind him. He and Glen had brought in a second gurney, as well as a second set of monitors and anesthetic equipment, to prepare for today’s procedure. It promised to be a challenge on so many levels.
They had planned for Tim to administer the anesthetic and monitor both patients. He fervently hoped if any problems arose, it wasn’t with both of them simultaneously. Of course they couldn’t bring in another doctor to assist, so they were going to have to make it work. Glen would also pull double duty in performing both procedures, but at least he could focus on one patient at a time.
Tim returned his attention to the instruments. He had arranged them on two separate rolling trays, one for Jeremy’s proced
ure, and one for the Subject. That way, Glen would be able to more readily reach for them himself near each patient, in the event Tim was too occupied with monitoring or adjusting the anesthetic.
They had met together for many hours to prepare and work through likely scenarios and how they would handle them. Even so, this procedure had never before been attempted, and a live procedure was always a far cry from any brainstorming or blackboarding they could possibly do. They’d taken all the precautions they could in terms of pre-op testing of both patients, and double-checking the tissue typing. They were as ready as they could be, he hoped.
Glen strode in. “How’s it going? Are we nearly ready to get started?”
Tim bristled at Glen’s nonchalant tone. He sounded like this was nothing more than a test run on lab rats. “Yes, I’ve got everything laid out now. I suppose we can begin any time once Jeremy gets here.”
Glen glanced around at the instruments and equipment. “This looks good. I think we have things arranged optimally, considering the nature of the procedure.” He looked at Tim. “Which reminds me. Have you laid out the instruments we’d need if we did the complete transplant?”
Tim hesitated. “Well, no. We’re doing the subsection only, so I selected only those instruments.”
“We need a full set. What if we get in there and find the damage is too extensive to just transplant a section? I don’t want to be scurrying for instruments if that happens. There won’t be time for that.”
“Glen, I know you want to do the complete procedure, but Jeremy made it clear—”
Glen glared at Tim. “Yes, Jeremy indicated his wishes. But as you should well know, despite all the pre-op tests in the world, things can happen once you open up a patient, and sometimes the patient’s wishes are not in his own best interest.”
Tim sighed. “I know. I’ll set out the additional instruments, but Glen, we’ve got to be conservative if we possibly can. We haven’t begun to address what would be required for the Subject’s care if it turned into a complete transplant.”
Glen shrugged. “That’s not the critical issue here. The quality of Jeremy’s outcome is all we need to worry about, all right? I’m going to see if he’s arrived yet.”
Tim suppressed a caustic remark and tried to refocus himself on the task ahead as he augmented the surgical trays with the additional instruments. He prayed nothing would happen to give Glen an excuse to go ahead with the full procedure.
CHAPTER 27
“Do I turn here?” Amanda glanced anxiously toward the side of the road as she hunched over the steering wheel.
“A little farther. See that small sign and long driveway over there?” Jeremy pointed toward the inconspicuous SomaGene sign.
“Got it, OK.” Amanda drove up to the driveway, signaled, then turned.
The snow storm had weakened since the prior day, but it had not stopped. Four-foot-high drifts lined the edges of the road where the plows had done their work. Fortunately, whatever service SomaGene used to plow had also done its job. The long driveway was cleared and the parking lot was in pretty good shape, though it did have an enormous pile of plowed-up snow in the far corner.
Amanda pulled into Jeremy’s parking spot and left the car running with the heater and defrosters on. “You ready?” She cast a concerned look at him.
He looked down at his hands, only then realizing they were clenched into tight fists in his lap. He noticed all his other muscles were bunched tightly as well. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply and tried to focus on relaxing. As if he could. “Almost. Let’s wait just a couple more minutes.”
“Sure.”
He opened his eyes again a few moments later. A thin layer of snow already covered the windshield and seemed to cut them off from the outside world, at least for now. Jeremy felt a strange feeling of peace, of safety—and of distance from what he had to face in a matter of minutes. He took a little bit of comfort from that, then turned to look at Amanda.
She stared at him, her eyes wide with concern. On an impulse, he reached out, cradling the back of her neck in his gloved hand. He gently pulled her toward him and kissed her—at first lightly, then more urgently, as if it might be his last kiss ever. She leaned over, wrapped her arms around him and pulled him as close as possible given the console between the seats.
Jeremy wanted to get lost in the moment, in her warmth, but he knew he couldn’t, not now. He forced himself to pull away, then looked at her closely. “I still love you, Amanda. Maybe when this is over…”
She sat back, looking flushed. “I…um…need to think a little. This is all a bit sudden.”
“Sure. I understand.” Jeremy sat back up in his seat, then glanced at his watch. “I suppose it’s time.” At least he could dare hope he might be able to get back together with Amanda. That thought alone gave him a little more courage to get out of the car and report to surgery.
Amanda turned off the car, and they hurried through the freezing wind to the entrance. Once inside, Jeremy steered Amanda toward his office. There they took off their coats and gloves and hung them on a rack by the door. “This is probably the best place to wait. Make yourself at home. I presume this is going to take a while.” Jeremy took both her hands in his and bent down to kiss her.
“Good luck, Jeremy,” she whispered. “I’ll be here.”
He smiled, then turned and began walking down the hall toward the surgical suite.
CHAPTER 28
He clutched his stomach. It made noises and it hurt. This had never happened before.
Empty, so empty.
A White Coat came yesterday. Gave him something to drink. It tasted funny. He didn’t like it, and the White Coat forced him to drink it.
A White Coat had never been forceful with him before. He did not understand.
All night, he could not sleep. He had to get up over and over again in the dark and empty himself. It made him tired. Made him feel weak.
Empty.
Now he sat, waiting. He’d already heard the screams from the room next to him. Seemed a long while ago. Usually it was only a short time after those sounds before he got something to eat. He wondered if he had been forgotten.
He hung his head. Had he done something wrong? That No White Coat had come. He’d touched him, then he seemed repulsed. He wondered if that had something to do with this. Maybe No White Coat was a bad thing.
The door opened and both White Coats came in. He stood, anxious for his food.
But they did not have his food with them. He looked at them, asking questions with his eyes.
They didn’t usually come see him together. Only sometimes.
They both came toward him. They opened his enclosure and entered. He shrank back, confused. They never opened it without bringing a bucket and water and a thing they wiped the floor with.
They didn’t have any of those things with them.
One of them grabbed his arm roughly. He flinched. They had never done that to him. The White Coats had always been nice to him.
He was scared.
They briefly made sounds to each other, then one of them moved very suddenly.
He felt a small, sharp pain in his arm.
One nodded to the other, and they started to take him out of his room. He’d never been out of it before. He didn’t know what was going to happen now. Nothing was as it usually was.
Everything started to look fuzzy. He felt very tired. His legs didn’t work like they should, and the White Coats were holding him up, moving him along.
He was tired, so tired.
And he was afraid to be out of his room. He tried to move away, to get back toward it, but the White Coats wouldn’t let him.
They moved him down a white tunnel. He could hardly feel his legs. They didn’t work. His head bobbed around.
They turned a corner with him. The lights were so bright now they hurt. He shut his eyes against them.
Suddenly he was lifted up. He opened his eyes again, and he was lying down. Something was
holding him in place. He wanted to get back to his room, but it was so far away now.
Something was on his face. Something over his nose and mouth. He panicked, took in a big gasp. Everything blurred even worse.
He felt like he was floating.
Darkness came at the sides of his view.
“All right, that went pretty well.” Glen snugged down the strap that restrained the Subject’s legs, then raised the hospital gown. He swabbed the abdomen with antiseptic and arranged the surgical drapes around his intended incision site.
Tim looked up after he finished inserting the IV needle. “He must have been horribly confused by all this. I wonder if he’ll be traumatized by the memory.”
“Tim, you keep forgetting what he is. A lab asset. It would behoove you to keep that in mind. Stay objective. You can’t get wound up in what he might or might not even be capable of thinking. Just get him under and ready to go. Jeremy should be here any minute.”
Tim clenched his teeth and decided to remain silent. It would be tense enough during this procedure; he decided not to add to it by arguing with Glen right now over his inhumane attitude. He checked the Subject’s vitals, then prepared to intubate him.
CHAPTER 29
Jeremy paused outside the surgical suite. He rested a hand on the hallway wall and leaned against it for a moment. Aside from not having eaten, he didn’t feel too bad. The potent steroids had done a wonderful job. Oh, if only those doses could be tolerated long-term—he’d be plenty happy to skip this procedure.
But he couldn’t stay on such potent meds for long, else he’d trade one destructive process for another. Either way, he’d be on a downward spiral. He tried to remind himself that this was his only chance to avoid ending up dying like his mother.
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