High Balls

by Tara Lain

  Rod stared at his friend with laser focus. “What a brilliant idea.”

  David smiled. “Let’s pay the check and get going.”

  Hunter looked from one man to another. “We can have drinks right here. Or ask for a seat outside on the patio if that seems more festive to you two.”

  David’s eyes widened. “Of course not. We have to go to Laguna.”

  “Oh, right. That’ll put Theodore closer to Andy’s grandparents’ house.” Hunter slapped some money down on the check and waved away Theodore’s and David’s protests. Hunter might make a lowly academics’ salary, but renowned artist Rodney didn’t, and they pooled their money.

  They all stood and wove their way to the outside. On the curb, Theodore asked, “How about the bar at Casa Tortilla? It’s pretty close to the Andersons’.”

  Rod waved a hand. “Don’t be silly, darling. We’ll meet you at the Bay Bar.”

  Laughing, Rod, David, and Hunter all jogged toward their car.

  SNAKE ERASMO looked up at the two cute, giggling guys who kind of fell into the bar. Maybe they’d already had one too many? But talk about adorable. Well, actually, one of them was handsome as sin and the other cute as Tinker Bell. Snake poured a beer and slid it to the patron who’d spent the past twenty minutes checking his phone at the bar.

  The two guys at the entrance bumped each other playfully and managed to get a couple of steps inside when the door opened again and—holy shit! The guy behind them made Adonis look like an also-ran—tall, chiseled, and amazing. This man stepped up to the small one with pink hair with a lot of familiarity. Talk about your odd couple.

  The pink-haired one got an exasperated look and marched back to the entrance, opened it, and stepped aside, holding the door wide. Through the door walked—heaven. The Teddy Bear who for some completely weird reason made Snake’s heart pound like a heroine in a romance novel. Tall, but so slim and twinky he could easily have been eighteen, his fair hair and wide eyes just added to the picture. Not that Snake liked kids, but the combination of Teddy’s innocent looks and his super-serious demeanor just turned Snake on—as evidenced by the half boner now straining his jeans. His gaze shifted.

  Shit, the handsome one that looks like a Greek statue must be his boyfriend. Teddy lied to me. Snake tried not to frown and lost. Don’t stare. He turned his back, pulse pounding and cock leaping, his hands curling into fists. Do something. He picked up a towel and wiped at the glasses he’d just washed, but a glance in the mirror showed the whole group ignoring the tables and booths and walking straight to the bar. Oh baby. Save me from a criminal offense.

  Chapter Five

  “BARTENDER?”

  Snake looked in the mirror again. That was Pink Hair talking. Teddy stood beside the Greek statue and looked—scared? Anxious? Probably embarrassed. Why did he come here? To prance this beautiful man in front of me? He sighed. As if I’m all that.

  He turned, tried to smile, and failed. “Yeah. What can I get you?”

  “Champagne cocktail for me, darling.” Pink Hair smiled and gazed into Snake’s eyes. Did they know who he was?

  Greek Statue asked for the same. Big, hunky, and handsome wanted a beer and—that left Teddy. Snake nodded to him without meeting his eyes. “What can I get you?”

  “Beer, please. Uh, Snake, these are my friends.”

  Startled at being addressed by name, he finally looked at Teddy. “I gathered that.”

  “Uh, that’s Rodney, uh, Rod, and his husband, Hunter. Rod’s a famous painter and Hunter’s a college teacher like me.”

  Snake still couldn’t get his smile muscles to move, but he stuck a hand across the bar and shook with both men, although the one called Rod only offered fingertips. Snake’s eyes fled back to Teddy.

  Teddy glanced at the beauty next to him and said, “This is David. He owns the Underwood Galley on Forest. He’s Rod’s bestie. His husbands are away playing volleyball, so we’re keeping him company.”

  Snake just stared. Too many words he didn’t quite grasp. Did he really say husbands? Like, plural? But bottom line—Snake’s face broke out in a smile. “Hi, David, really pleased to meet you.” He shook the handsome man’s slim hand as his brain repeated the mantra, Not his boyfriend. Not his boyfriend. Not his boyfriend.

  Rod said in his dancing, musical voice, “You thought David was Theodore’s boyfriend, didn’t you?”

  Snake felt the crease pop between his eyebrows and smoothed it with intention. “Looked like it.”

  Teddy really frowned. “So you assumed I lied to you?”

  “Thought crossed my mind.” He glanced up at the scowling Teddy Bear and almost laughed. “Sorry.”

  Rod said, “Theodore, be reasonable. You two barely know each other. Snake might think you would lie to him.”

  Snake shook his head. “No, actually, I don’t. Teddy here’s not the lying type. But….” He shrugged.

  Rod grinned. “But you’re the jealous type.”

  “Not usually. Let me get your drinks.” He turned away, but saw the Greek god David look at Teddy with wide eyes and mouth the word Wow.

  He swallowed his chuckle as he added the bitters to the champagne and then pulled the beer from the cooler.

  Rod had this funny wheedling voice. “So you call Theodore ‘Teddy’?”

  Snake turned back with two of the drinks and flashed a smile. “Teddy Bear, actually.”

  Teddy sat back on his stool. “Snake!”

  “I mean, who could call that pretty thing something so stodgy and serious as Theodore?” He cast a sideways glance at Teddy.

  David looked at Teddy too. “Uh, you better call him Theodore—because that bear can bite.” He laughed.

  “Nah.” Snake slid the other beer and champagne to David and Teddy. “We need to get this boy to stop fighting what he is and work it.”

  Rod shrieked. “Snake, I adore you! No one with an endless vocabulary could have ever so perfectly expressed the life plan for Theodore Walters.”

  Snake looked at Teddy. “Walters. I didn’t know. Pleased to meet you, Teddy Bear Walters.”

  A wild giggle exploded through Teddy’s compressed lips. “You’re all crazy!” He shook his head. “What’s your last name?”

  “Erasmo.”

  “Snake Erasmo. Your mother did not name you Snake.”

  “Nope.”

  David said, “Who did?”

  “Some friends. Something to do with the walk.”

  Teddy rested a cheek on his fist. So damned cute Snake wanted to eat him. “What’s your real name?”

  “If I told you, I might have to kill you.”

  “It’s the only way to keep me from killing you for calling me Teddy Bear. I mean, aren’t all Teddy Bears portly and hairy?”

  “Well, my teddy bears always made me feel good, and warm, like I had love curled up next to my belly.”

  Rod sighed. “Oh my.”

  Teddy blinked hard. “Okay, but you still have to tell me your real name, or—else!”

  Oh man, I could drown in those wide eyes. “Well, in that case, my name is Streams. Crystal Streams, to be exact. My hippie mama was into Native culture at the time I was born. Shit, it’s a good thing. The following year she might have named me Frankincense or—Marjoram.”

  All four men laughed, but Teddy cocked his head with a quizzical expression. Hmm.

  Snake held up a hand and walked over to the two guys who’d just sat down at the bar, took their orders, filled them, and then slowly sidled back to Teddy and company. Have to give these guys time to size me up, because I think my future depends on it.

  Handsome Hunter said, “Why’d you choose Snake as a name?”

  “Better than Streams.”

  Teddy looked down at his hands. “I think I’ll call you Crystal.”

  “Not unless you want me to tattoo ‘Teddy Bear’ on your chest.” He laughed.

  Rod leaned forward. “So we’re here to check you out.”

  Teddy jumped up. “Rod!”
>
  “Theodore!” He looked back at Snake. “But you knew that.”

  “Yep.” He flashed the pearlies. “How’m I doin’?”

  Rod leaned his head on his arm and fluttered his lashes. “Fine by me.”

  Hunter didn’t give up that easily. “Our concern is that Theodore has a young son, and he has to put him first.”

  Interesting. “I love kids and I’m good with them.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  David reached out a finger and pointed toward Snake’s body art. “It’s about influences.”

  Snake nodded. “Sure, I get it. But we’re not exactly planning a wedding here, gentlemen. I’d like to take Teddy on a date before we set the date.”

  “Just one more issue.” Hunter could be formidable opposition if he wanted to be. Obviously the other men respected his opinion.

  Snake nodded. “I’m listening.”

  “Teddy—I mean Theodore—works at a really conservative college. He’s out but not blatant.”

  “Hmmm. I’m guessing I fall into the blatant department.”

  “Not as gay, certainly. But you sure don’t look conservative.”

  Snake flicked his tongue stud. “Ya think?” He looked at Teddy. “What’s a guy like you doing hanging out with a bunch of Orange County assholes?”

  Teddy drained the last of his beer. “It’s where I got a scholarship and a TA position that paid more than others. I need to support my son. Plus it’s a really good program. But it’s a religious college, so I maintain a low profile.”

  This boy comes with a boatload of baggage. Am I up for this? “So when can we go on a date?” He looked at the other men. “Assuming I didn’t get too low a score on the test.”

  Rod sighed elaborately. “Hundred percent from me.”

  Teddy’s Adam’s apple bounced. “Uh, well, I can get a babysitter most nights with a little notice. I can’t be out too late because I use high school kids for sitters.”

  Snake leaned on the bar to get close to Teddy. “How about tomorrow night? Too soon?” He grinned.

  “I could try, but—”

  “Tuesday, then. I’ll pick you up at—”

  Teddy’s wide eyes widened.

  “I’ll text you where to meet me.”

  He nodded.

  Straightening up, he turned to the other guys. “What kind of food does Teddy like?”

  David said, “He likes a lot of Italian dishes.”

  “Well, isn’t that fortunate—since I happen to be an Italian dish myself?”

  “I’ll say.” David giggled.

  “So.” He met Teddy’s eyes. Deer in the middle of PCH on a Friday night. “You’re going to line up a babysitter for Tuesday night at six thirty. We’re starting early so you can get home early. I’m making a reservation. When I do, I’ll text you where to meet me. Nice and neat. No commitment, no revealing of your address or letting the scary tattooed guy meet your son. We’ll eat, we’ll talk, we’ll maybe go to a movie if there’s time, then we’ll get married.”

  Teddy, Rod, and David gasped. Hunter frowned.

  Snake winked. “Just kidding about that last part.”

  Everyone laughed—except Teddy.

  “Do we have a date?”

  “Uh, I guess so.”

  Snake just waited.

  “Yes. Okay.” He glanced at his cheap watch. “Time to pick up Andy.” He slid off the stool and walked rapidly to the entrance and out.

  Rod made a face. “Don’t mind Theodore. He’s freaked.”

  “Am I going to get stood up?”

  Hunter shook his head. “No. Reliable as the sunrise.”

  And just as beautiful.

  Hunter stepped off the stool, which for him was up, helped Rod, and extended a hand to Snake. “Good to meet you. Maybe we’ll see more of you.”

  Snake shook Hunter’s hand, as big as his own but not as callused. “I sure hope so. Have a great evening.” A party of five walked in and grabbed the empty places at the bar. Serious drinking time had begun. Snake waved and started pouring.

  THEODORE STALKED back and forth on the sidewalk next to Hunter’s car. Yes, he had to leave, but—Hunter, Rod, and David all walked up looking happy and cheerful as can be. “What the fuck are you thinking, maneuvering me into a date with Snake? Are you crazy?”

  Rod, not one to take much crap ever, planted two hands on his narrow hips. “Don’t give me that, Sleeping Beauty. All you had to say was ‘No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.’ Or not show up here at all. But you wanted us to be your scapegoats so you could look back and say”—he raised his voice to falsetto—“‘Oh, oh, Rod and David and Hunter made me do it.’”

  “All that proves is I’m crazy too.”

  David stepped closer to Theodore and put a hand on his shoulder. “All it proves is that you’re justifiably attracted to a delicious, funny, intelligent guy.”

  Rod took a big step until his nose practically poked Theodore’s chest. “For once!”

  Theodore stared at his feet. “You really like him?”

  “Of course, silly. We’ve got brains.”

  David laughed. “And cocks.”

  Hunter spoke softly. “You like him too, Theodore. Go with it. He’s been warned.” He chuckled.

  “Thanks, guys.”

  Rod hugged him hard, then David and Hunter too.

  Rod said, “Go get our favorite munchkin and give him a kiss from Uncle Rod.”

  “Will do.” With a wave he walked back to his car and started the drive north. Not much traffic in that direction at this hour. By three, the people leaving the beach and the construction guys who worked on the upscale homes seemingly all the time started their migration out of Laguna and the out-of-town traffic got fierce. But now? Easy peasy.

  He turned on Chopin and tried not to think. I said yes. That’s that. Now for trying to convince his cock that Italian food was all he wanted.

  It took eight minutes to get to the Andersons’, three of those spent at the inquisition at the gate. It made him two minutes later than he’d told Andy. His lanky seven-year-old scrunched in a sitting position on the brick steps in front of the door. He was playing on one of his multiple devices, his grandfather standing behind him looking somewhere between miffed and lost.

  Theodore waved as he got out of the car. “Sorry I’m a little late. The line at the guard gate was long.” He trudged to the brick walkway since the Andersons didn’t like people to tread on their expensively tended grass.

  Andy leaped to his feet and ran toward Theodore. “Dad.” Theodore caught him as he hurled himself at Theodore’s legs and picked him up in a swooping circle. Andy laughed.

  “Let’s get your stuff.”

  Andy whispered, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  That sounds ominous. Theodore walked toward the house, still carrying Andy. “Thanks so much for having him, Hanson.”

  “Our pleasure. In fact, we really wish we could spend more time with Andy.”

  Andy stiffened in his arms. Theodore smiled. Maybe it looked genuine. “I know, it would be great, but weekends are the only time Andy gets to play with his friends and go to the beach with them. Kids need each other. He’s so busy doing homework during the week, he doesn’t have much time for visiting or hanging out.” Change the subject. He looked at Andy. “Did you get your homework done?”

  Theodore looked in the eyes of his seven-year-old son and saw total recognition of the game they were playing. “Yes, sir. Grandpa helped me and I got through it in record time, didn’t I, Grandpa?”

  “Well, yes he did, yes. We have a very smart young man here.” He patted Andy’s dangling leg. “But I do worry about the company he keeps.”

  Theodore’s turn to stiffen. Andy glanced at him. Theodore said, “Okay, get down and grab your stuff. We’re headed home.” He set Andy on the step. Andy grabbed his backpack and gamer and ran toward the car at top speed.

  Hanson stared after him. “He certainly loves playing video game
s.”

  “All kids do, Hanson. He was thrilled when you bought it for him.” Might as well remind him who started it.

  Hanson frowned. “It was the only thing he asked for.”

  “Thanks again for having him. I know he had a great time. We’ll see you next month.” Theodore turned and tried not to mimic Andy by running.

  When they’d driven off the Andersons’ street and out through the guard gate to PCH, Andy threw himself back against the seat hard. “Damn, Dad! I can’t stand it!”

  “Watch your language, and what can’t you stand?”

  “Those people are going to drive me to drink.”

  Theodore tried desperately not to laugh. Clearly he had to stop watching old movies with Andy. “In what way?”

  Andy collapsed forward. “There’s some pretty nice kids down at the beach, but they won’t let me play with them. They only want me to play with the ‘right’ kids.” He imbued the word “right” with heavy irony.

  Theodore tensed and tried not to show it. “And who are the right kids?”

  “The ones who are, like, the grandkids of their friends, and they’re mean and stuck-up and their parents are so—homophobic.”

  “What?” His head snapped to Andy, and he had to force himself to look back at the crowded highway.

  “That’s the word, right? Homophobic?”

  “That is a word. It means those who don’t like gay people and are prejudiced against them.”

  “Yep. Sure the right word. These people sit around the pool talking about all the crap they learn in church.”

  “Language.” But he could barely breathe.

  Andy was on a roll. “It’s all”—he raised his voice—“‘Those innatural provers are taking over the whole world. It’s not right. We have to sit beside them and hire them and work with them and pretend they’re just like us.’ Who’d wanna be like those people anyway?” He kind of snuffled.

  “What do your grandparents say?”

  “Nothing.” He spit out the word like it tasted bad and crossed his arms over his chest. “But Grandma sits there and goes like this.” He nodded his head like a bobblehead doll.