by Fiona Palmer
CJ had to admit that she hadn’t seen her mum so strong and independent, and was amazed how little she knew about her mum’s likes and dislikes. It was as if Dot had rediscovered herself and the woman she used to be – or wanted to be.
Chris had helped CJ sort out where best to use her newfound wealth, and how to set up the means to pay Joe a wage. Burt had stashed his pennies away. Who knew he’d have a hundred grand stashed away in a fixed deposit and a lump of shares that were now worth a bright penny or two?
He had lived his life without and now CJ was reaping the benefits… It hardly seemed fair. But then, she couldn’t imagine he’d ever have taken a holiday or bought a new TV – that would be bloody ridiculous as there was nothing wrong with the old one. That was Burt. A battler who hadn’t known any other way to live.
Joe was happy that he got to stay and he’d come to see her every morning. ‘I was going to shift the sheep to the back paddock and the header needs some new parts as it only just made it through harvest. Would that be okay?’ he’d ask.
‘Damn it, Joe,’ she’d say. ‘You know more about running this farm than I do. You don’t have to run everything past me. If you need parts, buy parts. I trust you and your judgement, so just go for it.’
Joe had finally stopped checking, but he still liked to tell her what he was up to and where he’d put the sheep, just like he had with Burt. CJ guessed Joe was also a bit lonely without his mate. She enjoyed knowing what was going on and had to admit she was learning a lot from Joe. In between shearing she was driving trucks, headers and tractors, and erecting fences.
CJ was getting used to living there, but she wasn’t used to the late January heat. This week had really knocked her about. Maybe it was the break over harvest that had her out of sorts. She was shearing close to a hundred and fifty a day, and Doug reckoned she’d be doing a hundred and eighty or more soon. Secretly she hoped to get to two hundred and fifty. Doug wanted to take her to the shows and competitions as he had done with Lindsay, but she was too busy with shearing and setting up the school.
‘So when can I officially enrol, CJ?’ Kate asked her one day.
CJ turned off the motor and sent her wether down the chute, then crouched to talk to Kate. ‘I’ve set the first course for the first week in April. That okay for you?’
Kate grabbed CJ’s fleece as she talked. ‘I’ll make it okay. Doug will just have to be a rousie down. Cheers, CJ. I can’t wait to start.’ And then she was off, throwing the fleece over the skirting table.
As CJ began shearing her next sheep, she noticed her hand felt all warm and gooey. As she pulled the handpiece away she found out why. Flies had blown the sheep and the maggots they had laid had grown big and fat. Their white, wriggling bodies were eating into the flesh of the sheep and it looked horrible and red-raw. She felt bile rise in her throat and realised she was going to be sick. She ran back into the pen and threw up in the corner, then reached for her water bottle and took a swig.
Dave looked up from his sheep. ‘You okay, CJ?’
‘Yeah, just hit some maggots. Must be the heat getting to me.’ CJ found her sheep just standing on the floorboard, almost in a daze. ‘Don’t fancy finishing her off.’
Dave shoved his ewe down the chute and walked over. ‘Here, let me. I’d rather do that than listen to you hurkin’ your guts up again.’
‘Oh, thanks, Dave. You’re a legend.’
Outside in the clear air, CJ sat under the shade of a gum tree, and leaned her back against its huge trunk. She could still taste the sick in her mouth, and swallowed hard. Crap, she’d never hear the end of this from the crew.
The pink and grey galahs were screeching above her in the trees and she had to admit that it was a bloody hot day. It must have reached thirty-eight, surely. There was a heat haze coming off the shearing shed, its tin roof and walls simmering under the sun. All around, the weeds and grasses were a dry yellow – fuel for any wayward fire. CJ took a deep breath and closed her eyes. There was no point going back in; it was the end of the run. She heard footsteps approaching through the grass.
‘Tell me you’re not coming down with a bug. I don’t wanna catch it.’ Irene sat down beside her with a handful of slices. ‘You want some?’
CJ ground her teeth together. ‘Nah, thanks. Might give it a miss. I’ve been a bit off for a few weeks now.’
Irene put her hand on CJ’s forehead.
‘You feel fine.’
‘Hmm. Actually, I feel like salty chips.’
Irene looked at her with wide eyes and a weird expression.
‘What?’
Irene laughed. ‘Well, I would have said you were pregnant, but I know that’s not possible… or is it? You haven’t shacked up with anyone I don’t know about, have you?’
‘No, I haven’t,’ she said indignantly. ‘It’s only been Lindsay and no one else, and…’ CJ paused and started to count on her fingers.
This sent Irene into a flip. ‘What? What is it?’
‘My God… I think I’m late. I haven’t really thought about it, I’ve been so busy.’ CJ turned to Irene with a shocked expression. ‘Bloody hell.’
‘But Lindsay’s been gone for ages,’ said Irene matter of factly.
CJ smacked her face hard with her hand. ‘Bugger.’
Irene gave her a steely look.
‘The night of the shearing comp…’
Irene’s jaw dropped. ‘So you could be pregnant?’
With a wave of her hand CJ scolded Irene. ‘Hush down, Renie. Don’t go broadcasting it like that. It sounds scary. But it’s very possible. Damn it. Now you’ve got me worried.’
‘Don’t worry. I’m gonna go buy you a test kit and you can find out for sure.’
‘Great, so I’ve gotta finish this next run while trying not to puke and controlling my nerves about possibly being pregnant.’
‘I thought you were on the pill?’
‘I’ve been a bit slack on remembering since Lindsay left. What was the point anyway?’
‘Oh well. Try not to think about it until we do the test. You might just have a wog.’
They headed back to the shed for the last run of the day and CJ prayed Irene was right.
Bang! Bang! Bang! ‘Come on, CJ. How long does it take to pee on a stick? I’m dying out here.’
CJ opened the door to Irene’s bathroom and let her in. CJ stared at the two blue fish that the previous owner had painted on the white wall. Her hand was shaking as she handed the test stick over to Irene. ‘You tell me. I’m too scared to look.’
She was sure Irene took two whole minutes before looking up. When she finally did she had the funniest expression on her face, right before she smiled. ‘You’re going to be a mummy!’
CJ must have blacked out because the next thing she knew Irene was by her side, holding her and rubbing her back.
‘It’s all going to be okay, CJ. Don’t worry. Do you want the baby?’
CJ was having trouble getting her head around it but Irene’s question pulled at her heart. ‘Of course I want the baby – mine and Lindsay’s baby.’ The more she thought about it, the happier she felt. Lindsay’s baby! Would it be a boy who looked like his daddy? All of a sudden she couldn’t wait to hold him. ‘Wow. Me, a mum! But I’ve only just learnt to shear.’ Then the realisation hit her. How was she going to shear, and run a farm and a shearing school while getting fatter each day? Oh God.
Irene laughed. ‘Yeah, sweetheart. It’s a lot to take in, but don’t worry. You can probably still shear for a while, and teach at the school. You’ll have plenty of help from us all. Your mum’s going to be so excited.’
CJ swept her hand across her brow. ‘Yeah, she’ll be over the moon. I guess I need to make a doctor’s appointment. Shit, there’s so much to do and think about. I thought my life was busy enough!’
They stayed in the bathroom talking, both still in their grubby, lanolin-covered work clothes. Irene was smiling with all the joy in the world and CJ knew this would be exciting for her, seeing as s
he missed seeing Chris grow up. CJ knew Irene would be there every step of the way for this baby, just like she had been for CJ since they met.
‘So, are you going to tell Lindsay?’
CJ thought hard. ‘No.’ She saw Irene about to protest but she cut her off. ‘I know he deserves to know, but I don’t want him to come back because of the baby. I want him to come back for me. Call me selfish, but I need that to be clear in my mind. It has to be his decision to return. I can’t make him come back to me.’
‘If you’re sure?’
‘No, not really, but I don’t want to force him if he’s not ready.’
Irene nodded.
CJ put her hand to her firm belly and sighed heavily. ‘Holy crap, Batman.’ As if her life wasn’t complicated enough.
42
THE afternoon sky was painted a mixture of reds, oranges and yellows as the sun set on another day. CJ sat on a milk crate under the new patio, which they’d erected last month behind the house. Tomorrow she was going to be over four months pregnant and taking her first group of students. Nerves tingled through her body in anticipation. It had been a hard slog, with lots of help from Doug, Irene, Joe, Chris and her mum. She knew this wouldn’t have come together so soon if it hadn’t been for Burt and what he had left her, and she’d proudly named the school in his honour. Rosevale Shearing School. She liked it.
The cold beer in her hand was wonderful – just the one to settle her nerves as she waited. Now that she was pregnant, she was being careful, and Dot and Irene fussed over her endlessly. She had become used to the idea now, and it wasn’t going to stop her from launching the school. She was still shearing. The baby hadn’t slowed her down much, except that her feet and back ached even more than usual. No one in the team but Irene knew about her pregnancy yet.
This morning she’d stood in front of the mirror in her undies. She could see the bump forming and tried to imagine how she’d look with a humungous belly. Where was this baby going to fit? CJ wasn’t one for beauty products and pampering herself but she’d bought a really good cream that was supposed to help with stretch marks. Her skin was already taut over her muscles, and she couldn’t imagine it stretching any further. She wished Burt could have been here to see the baby.
A vehicle pulled up and CJ went to greet her first student in the cool afternoon air.
‘Happy!’ She laughed as she saw Kate getting out of her little red hatchback, her blonde curls bouncing around her face. ‘Trust it to be you who turns up first.’
‘Hiya, CJ. I’m so excited. I just can’t wait.’ Kate bounded out of her car with her brown suitcase.
‘Come on. I’ll show you your room. You get the sleep-out room, but at least it’s all yours.’ CJ escorted her to the small room built off the side of the veranda and then took her on a quick tour of the house. As they came back outside, another student showed up – a young bloke with his bag over his shoulder. He appeared nervous, and his pimply face and mop of brown hair suggested he was barely eighteen.
‘Hi, I’m CJ, the boss here, and this is Kate, who’ll be learning with you.’
He pulled his hand out from the pocket of his Warrie work pants and shook Kate’s hand strongly. ‘Hi, I’m Ryan.’
‘G’day, Ryan. Where do you hail from?’ asked Kate, sitting down on a plastic chair. She folded a jean-clad leg up, resting her black thongs on the seat.
‘Down south near Albany. We got a sheep and crop farm. Dad thought it would be good for me to learn how to shear.’
‘Do you want to learn?’ CJ asked him curiously.
Ryan nodded his head and his hair shook. ‘Yeah. I’ve had a couple of goes when the shearers come out. And if I get good, then that’s one less shearer we have to pay,’ he said with a wink.
‘Come on and I’ll show you to your room.’
An hour later the remaining four blokes turned up and settled in. The boys had to share rooms but they didn’t mind. As they sat on the patio, CJ pointed out the beer fridge and handed a beer to each of them. Kate was sitting next to Nate, who was tall and quite good-looking. At twenty-three he was also the oldest, but Mason, at twenty-two, looked older. He had thick stubble over his chin and a know-it-all personality. Mase, as he preferred to be called, dominated the conversation and seemed to have done everything that was possible on a farm. He practically ran their family farm, according to him.
Grant and Jarred, both twenty, were the townies who wanted to get jobs in shearing teams. Grant was from Lake Moore and wanted to join Doug’s team, while Jarred from Wagin wanted to join Stumpy’s. They were both nice enough boys.
‘Well, you lot,’ said CJ, standing up. ‘Breakfast will be at six in the kitchen. Dot will be in the house early to start cooking, so if you hear noises, don’t kill her ’cos she’ll be making your bacon and eggs. Then just meet down at the shed at seven. Okay? Have a good night.’ CJ called Sam and Scabs and headed for her ute. She couldn’t help her nerves about tomorrow.
‘Let’s go home, boys.’ Sam jumped on the back but CJ had to bend to lift up old Scabs.
The next morning CJ got to the shed early and put the gear near each stand. She didn’t set it up, as she wanted the students to do it so she could see how much each one knew. Kate would need to be taught everything, but the farm boys clearly already had some knowledge.
She looked up as she heard voices and boots coming towards the shed. They all looked fresh-faced and eager to start. A smile grew, as did her confidence, when she saw Irene trundle in behind them in her work pants and shearing singlet.
‘Hi, Irene. Thanks for coming in.’
‘Wouldn’t miss this for the world. Doug sends you his best wishes.’
Doug was happy loaning Irene out to CJ because he hoped to grab some of the promising kids who came through.
Mase was looking around with his nose up in the air, so she thought she’d better start.
‘Welcome, everyone. I’d like you to meet Irene. She’s an old hand in the shed and will be helping to pick up after us.’
Kate gave Irene a silly little wave and the guys nodded hello.
‘Okay, before we get into the nitty gritty, I want to teach you the most important part of shearing —’
‘Who’s teaching us?’ interrupted Mase with crossed eyebrows.
CJ paused, then looked him in the eye. ‘I am. Now, as I was saying, we’ll start with a warm-up exercise routine that will stretch all the important muscles we’ll be using —’
‘But you’re a girl!’ Mase put his hands on his hips indignantly.
CJ took a breath to steady her nerves. She’d been shearing with the boys in her team for so long now that she’d forgotten she was different. ‘Glad you figured that out,’ she said, and a few others stifled chuckles.
She picked up the sheets of paper she’d photocopied and handed them out. Mase took his reluctantly.
‘Keep these with you until you learn them off by heart. You have to look after your body if you want to shear all day, every day.’
Mase stepped into the circle so he was facing her directly. ‘You seriously can’t be teaching us. I ain’t taking lessons from some girl and doing some silly yoga crap.’ He threw the sheets of paper back at her and they fluttered to the ground. The rest of the group watched in disbelief.
Kate opened her mouth. ‘Mase, she’s really good…’
He glared at Kate and she shut up. ‘My dad would laugh his balls off if he knew I was being taught by a woman. Either you get a bloke in here, or I’m walking.’
‘I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m all there is and I was taught by one of the best. I shear in the local shearing team and have won competitions.’
Mase glared at her, his dark-brown eyes twitching with anger. He swung around in front of the group. ‘I’m outta here,’ he said, then stormed off out of the shed.
She could hear his heavy footsteps crunching along the gravel towards the house. The vein in her neck was pulsing madly. She was rattled but she had to get the res
t onside. ‘So, does anyone else feel that way? Let me tell you that just because I don’t have a set of balls doesn’t mean I can’t shear.’ She studied their faces. They didn’t say anything but she could tell the boys had their doubts.
After their warm-ups she went through the gear, then got them to show her just how much they knew. Kate sat this out but the other four dragged out their sheep and began. Not bad so far… but the shearing part went haywire. She heard one of them swear; a handpiece was dropped and a ewe escaped and ran around the shed, dropping wool everywhere and dragging some of the fleece. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she heard a squeaky voice call out her name and turned to see blood pouring from a ewe.
‘Damn it,’ she muttered. Irene and Grant were chasing the sheep so she showed Ryan the finer points of sewing up a sheep. The other two boys managed to finish their sheep unscathed but the fleeces were all screwed up at their feet. CJ didn’t know where to start. And the sheep – well, they had tufts of wool left all over. By the time they cleaned up the mess, it was morning smoko, and CJ sent them all back to the house for a cuppa. When they left, CJ leaned back against the tin wall and sank to the floor, burying her head in her hands.
All of a sudden doubts came crashing down on her. Tears welled up in her eyes and she cursed her bloody hormones. A hand touched her shoulder and she looked into Irene’s green comforting eyes.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Just a tad emotional. I cried over that RSPCA ad on the TV the other night.’ CJ sighed. ‘Oh, Irene. This isn’t a school. It’s a frickin’ circus. How did I ever think I could do this?’
Irene squeezed her shoulder. ‘Because you can. So what if you had one walk out? You’ve still got five left. And yes, we had a bit of carnage and chaos but what did you expect? CJ, you can do this. You’ve had it planned long enough. After smoko you start again, fresh. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Some guys might walk out, but they’ll come back when word gets around how great the school is.’
‘You’d be a great motivational speaker.’ CJ smiled. ‘Thanks. I’m glad you’re here.’
