by Fiona Palmer
‘Hey,’ Chris cut in between heavy breaths as he heaved away the wire. ‘It’s the least I could do to help repay the free board.’
‘So you haven’t killed each other yet?’ asked Joe, stopping to light up a cigarette.
‘Geez, Joe. I’ve only been moved in for a week,’ huffed Chris. ‘But I’ll miss Paul’s cooking! CJ’s not as good,’ he teased.
‘Hey, you!’ CJ put her hands on her hips. ‘Well, I’m already picking up his towel off the floor!’
‘Oh, at least I don’t leave breakfast all over the table before I go to work.’
‘Really!’
Joe scratched his head. ‘So, it’s going okay, then?’
Chris and CJ laughed. ‘Yep,’ they both agreed.
‘I must admit it’s nice to have some company,’ she said.
‘Aw, hell. Tell the truth. You just like having someone around to help clean up after you.’ Chris brushed his dark fringe up into his beanie. His green eyes sought out hers playfully.
‘Well, maybe a little…’
‘And I suppose you’ll need my help to manage all your money now your shearing school is taking off? I swear my accountancy business is totally taken up with you,’ he joked. ‘Fancy both your students taking out first and second at the comp. Talk’s all over town about it,’ said Chris.
CJ felt her face heat up. ‘We’ve definitely had an increase in numbers. I’ve had to book in three more groups.’
Chris shook his head. ‘You should be slowing down, not getting busier in your state. Ever heard of taking it easy? You’re getting close to six months, right?’
‘So? I’m pregnant, Chris. It’s not a debilitating disease,’ she laughed.
Joe stubbed out his smoke. ‘Come on, you two. You’re worse than siblings. We’ll never get the fence done at this rate.’
Chris pulled a face and CJ tried not to laugh.
‘All right. Let’s get it finished so we can go home and light the fire,’ CJ said, rubbing her hands together.
44
‘LINDSAY, Angela is here to see you!’ yelled James in a pompous tone. He was in the lounge room, peering around the thick, coffeecoloured curtain and through the window.
Lindsay pounced on his brother. James quickly fought back and they wrestled across the cream, woollen carpet, grunting and groaning like kids. Lindsay got James pinned against the floor with his arm around his back.
‘Mum, Mum, Lindsay’s picking on me!’ James screamed.
Lindsay laughed. ‘Mummy can’t save you now.’ With one last shove he got up and let James free. But James had the last laugh – blood was welling on the corner of Lindsay’s lip where it had been split by James’s wayward elbow.
‘It’s great not living in their pockets,’ Lindsay said.
He had suggested to James that they renovate the old farmhouse their grandparents used to live in, which was closer to the work sheds. Surprisingly, their dad had agreed. He’d said something about them being like ‘bulls in a china shop’ and ‘needing some peace and quiet’. So for the last few months during seeding, in between driving tractors and spraying, they’d been preoccupied with the house renovations and Lindsay had loved it. Last week they’d moved in and had a house-warming party. Much to Lindsay’s disgust, James had invited Angela, just to piss him off, and she’d got drunk and followed Lindsay around all night. He hadn’t touched a drink since starting his meetings with Margaret, so being sober while everyone else was rolling drunk hadn’t been that fun. Now to make things worse, Angela was back again.
‘So, are you going to go greet Angela?’ James teased.
Lindsay pointed his finger into James’s chest. ‘No, you are, while I go fix my lip, and it’s gonna take me a while so you better deal with her yourself.’ Lindsay headed to the bathroom at the end of the passageway. He was proud of the hard work he and James had done to get this place liveable. He loved the high ceilings and the original floorboards. It would make a perfect house for James to start a family in. Lindsay himself wouldn’t be here much longer, even though he was the happiest he’d ever been on the farm.
He’d been concentrating on investigating different sheep, such as Poll Dorset and British breeds like Texel and Border Leicesters. He’d been surprised at how much he’d thrived on researching, and what he’d learnt would be invaluable in any buying of rams he did in the future. He was a happier person in his mind and he’d been off his medication for a week. He couldn’t be more thrilled about that.
Lindsay looked in the mirror and dabbed at his lip. It wasn’t that bad really. He heard Angela’s voice floating down the passage and just about cringed.
James wasn’t interested in Angela either – he was dating a girl he’d meet at a sheep sale. Normally he probably wouldn’t have looked twice, as James liked his girls to dress like girls, but it just so happened that they were standing behind her and it didn’t take long for James to admire her long legs and denim-clad bum. Then she had taken off her hat to scratch her head and long, red waves had cascaded down her back. After the sale she had turned around to leave and they saw the brightest blue eyes ever. James’s sharp intake of breath was a giveaway. He was smitten.
Lindsay had stepped in first. ‘Hiya. Haven’t seen you around here before?’
The girl had looked to be in her early twenties. She’d smiled this whopping Julia Roberts smile and replied, ‘No, I just moved here a few months ago to work with my uncle. Bianca’s my name.’ Then she’d held out her hand. And that had been it. They’d caught up with her a few more times before James asked her out and now they were inseparable. Lindsay loved having Bianca around. She was a lot like CJ in that down to earth, country girl way. He was over the moon for James. Their mother was very unimpressed. ‘A farm hand as a girlfriend!’ she’d said, lips compressed into a line. But that only made James happier.
Lindsay heard the front door bang and James poked his head into the bathroom.
‘Coast is clear. I told her you had a bad case of syphilis!’
James laughed and Lindsay chucked his toothbrush at him. The worst thing was, that’s probably exactly what James had told her. ‘My turn, my turn!’ yelled Tara, trying to push Bonnie out the way.
Both girls put their little hands and ears on CJ’s large belly, listening to the baby swishing around.
Bonnie turned to Tess, eyes wide. ‘I reckon his foot punched me.’
Tess caressed Bonnie’s face. ‘You were in my belly like that once. I thought you were a boy because you were always playing football in there.’
‘Really?’
CJ sat back in the chair in Burt’s lounge room. She still thought of the place as Burt’s and probably always would. The girls stepped back and CJ pulled her brown, woollen jumper up over her belly.
‘See, look what he’s done to my bellybutton!’
‘That’s only at six months. Wait till you hit the nine month mark!’ Tess laughed. ‘So, you still reckon he’s a boy, then?’
‘I don’t know. It’s just easier to say he, I think.’
‘How about you girls grab a Tim Tam and go outside and play?’ Tess suggested, and the girls excitedly exited the house with their treats.
CJ retied her hair up into a high ponytail. ‘I suppose I’ll have to cut my hair off. Don’t they say mums hardly have time to scratch themselves?’
Tess laughed. ‘It’s not all bad. Besides, between your mum, Irene, Chris and you, I think you’ll be cruising. But how are you going at work?’
CJ groaned. ‘Bloody hard work trying to shear over a fat belly. My last lot of students thought I was nuts, and I’ve got the next group coming in two weeks.’
‘Why don’t you ring Lindsay and ask him if he wants the job? Then he could be there for the birth?’
CJ frowned and tried to keep the tremor of excitement from her body at the sound of his name. Doug and Tess badly wanted her to tell Lindsay. They hated lying to him. She didn’t like it much either, but she’d been hoping he’d be back by now.
She worried about him but Doug assured her he sounded fine.
‘No, I can’t. Maybe he’s moved on.’
Tess laughed. ‘I doubt it.’
Chris dumped a shopping bag on the kitchen table and joined them in the lounge room. ‘Hey, CJ, did you know we have two gorgeous garden gnomes outside on the lawn?’
‘Hmm, you can keep them for a few days if you like,’ said Tess. ‘Then we’ll see how cute you think they are.’
Chris looked at Tess sideways and screwed up his face. He’d just got back from his office. His accountancy business had taken off and he was also dabbling in the finance department. Chris looked fancy in his dress trousers and white shirt, but since moving in with CJ he’d got his hands quite dirty. He had confessed to loving sheep work, and on the weekends he’d be the handyman around the house, or he’d help Joe if needed.
‘So what’d ya bring for tea?’ asked CJ, eyeing the grocery bags.
‘Well, there are a couple of juicy steaks that you’ll be cooking to perfection for me, and a tossed salad. How soon can you start cookin’?’ said Chris cheekily.
‘Just after you rub my sore back,’ laughed CJ.
Chris rolled his eyes and it was Tess’s turn to laugh. ‘You haven’t witnessed anything yet. Give it another few months and then see how she complains. I’d invest in some heat packs,’ she said.
‘I might do that,’ said Chris, before heading to his room to get changed.
Tess leaned forward in her chair. ‘How’s it with Chris?’ she asked.
‘He’s worth his weight in gold. Seriously the best thing I did, getting him to move in here. The company’s been great.’
‘Has he found himself a girl yet?’
CJ grimaced as she moved to a more comfortable position. ‘Nup. Think he’s got his hands full with me and Irene, although he did go out on a date the other night.’
He returned to the room wearing blue track pants and a red Quicksilver T-shirt. He was wearing his funny blue slippers, which CJ had always laughed at until he’d bought her a matching pair for her birthday. Now she also wore them religiously every night.
‘Who’s that girl you took out the other night?’ she asked.
Chris rolled his eyes as he realised he was in for an interrogation. ‘Her name is Beth and she works in the bank.’
‘Oh, Beth Landard. She’s lovely. I know her parents well.’ Tess knew everyone in Lake Moore.
CJ glanced across to Tess. ‘Is she good enough for Chris?’
Chris put his arms up. ‘It was just dinner, once. I’m outta here.’ Then he stomped off towards the laundry to put on a load of washing.
‘Yeah, she’s sweet. You’ll have to get Chris to invite her home for dinner and then you can meet her yourself.’
‘I know. I’ve just been too busy to see anyone or go anywhere. Chris brings home whatever we need after work.’
‘I can’t believe you’re still shearing. Why?’
CJ sighed and absentmindedly rubbed her belly. ‘Because I can and I need to practise what I preach. Besides, once the baby is born I won’t be able to, other than the odd bit here and there. I guess I’ll just help Joe with the farm until the next shearing school week comes along.’
‘Dot said you have quite a few weeks booked up.’
‘Yeah. With no other schools in the state, we’re doing well. Did I tell you we are off to the Dowerin Field Day in August?’ Tess nodded. ‘Well, it should be fun, as long as I can still walk by then.’
Tess stood up and adjusted her blue shirt over her jeans. ‘Come on. I’m dying to see the baby’s room.’ She held a hand out to help CJ up.
They walked down the wide passage to the end room. ‘I finished the final coat of paint last week and Chris re-covered the cot with new flywire.’
The freshly stained timber cot, which used to be hers as a baby, stood in the corner. It was one of those old ones with a frame across the top to keep out flies and mozzies.
‘Oh, CJ. It looks great. I love the soft yellow colour, like fluffy baby chicks. You can have my old rocking chair too. You’ll find that great in the middle of the night. I’ll get Doug to dig it out and bring it over.’
‘Thanks, Tess. That’d be great.’ CJ picked up a tiny, white baby suit and placed it over her belly. ‘I can’t believe I’ll have a baby soon. To think he’ll be so little.’
Tess laughed. ‘Yeah, you’d wanna hope he’s little.’
CJ frowned. ‘Gee, thanks, Tess. You know, I couldn’t even bring myself to watch a birthing video. I’ve decided just not to think about it till it happens.’
‘That’s what I did. No point getting your knickers in a knot when people have babies every day. It’s something you manage to get through, even though it does seem impossible. Come on. I’ll go boil the kettle again and you can go through what you have and what you’ll need.’
‘Cheers, Tess. You’re a gem.’ CJ stayed back, looking at the little yellow room. She couldn’t help feel excited; soon she’d be holding her baby.
She felt a hand on her back. ‘Hey, you. Dreaming again?’
She met Chris’s green eyes. He had been there for her so much, bringing joy back into her life, and she didn’t know how to thank him. Chris brought his hand up and caressed her cheek, his face coming closer. Was he going to kiss her? She began to freak, but before she knew it, his lips were on her forehead. She sighed with relief, and she suspected he heard it.
‘CJ, you know I’m here for you any time.’ There was a tinge of hurt in his eyes but he blinked and it was gone. He gave her a wink and then left the room.
Her heart thumped in her chest. Was he waiting for her? Maybe she had known for a while that he was keen, but she’d refused to see the signs. She was still holding out hope for Lindsay. She loved Chris. He was an amazing guy, but she felt ruined by Lindsay, as if he still had half of her heart with him. Chris was just like the brother she’d never had. Only time would tell whether she could ever see him as anything more.
45
‘I don’t know why I let you talk me into this. I look like a Goodyear blimp.’ CJ rubbed her belly through the white maternity shirt her mum had bought her.
‘Come on. You look a treat. But we might need that in case you decide to come early.’ Chris pointed to a black wheelbarrow with a massive front wheel.
‘Chris!’ squealed CJ in disgust.
Irene and Paul laughed. ‘I swear I feel like a mother walking around with two young kids. You two have done nothing but bicker since we got here!’ said Irene, but there was total love in her eyes for them both. They walked down the alley among hordes of people at the Dowerin Field Day, leaving the section with machinery and farming equipment and making their way back to the family display area.
Chris wrapped his arm around CJ and rubbed his knuckles along the top of her hair. ‘But, Mum! She’s just sooo annoying,’ whined Chris playfully.
CJ socked him one in the ribs quite hard and when he went to retaliate she held up her hands. ‘Nup. Lady carrying a baby.’
‘Will you two cut it out or else there’ll be no ice-cream or fairy floss,’ joked Paul.
Both Chris and CJ pulled sour faces at him.
‘I was kidding before,’ said CJ. ‘I’m glad we’ve come. I’m having a ball, even if my back hurts and my belly’s dragging on the ground.’
Chris rolled his eyes. ‘Here we go again, chasing sympathy for the fat lady. Stop your whingeing – it’s your own fault.’
It was a beautiful warm day, the hint that spring was on its way and CJ was so happy she could fly. She was loving every minute with Irene, Paul and Chris. They were just like a big family and she could tell Irene and Paul were rapt to have them both there. She and Chris had never been to the Dowerin Field Days before and couldn’t believe how big it was. They’d been here half the day and she reckoned they hadn’t even seen half of it yet. And so many people! She’d had to use the disabled toilets as she couldn’t fit into the normal portaloos with her belly.
> They came to the massive family display shed, and wandered around. She found a stall with chilli olives for tasting and she bought a jar for her mum. It was a nice feeling, having her own money and being able to buy things on a whim.
She moved on past a few more stalls, some selling furniture and one with a couple of blokes kicking footballs on giant rubber bands. A man had just gone to catch the football before it was pulled back to the kicker. He looked a lot like Lindsay – no, actually it was Lindsay! The height, build, blond hair, right down to the scars she could see on his right arm. God, he looked good. Denim shorts hugged his lean legs and tight bum. She thought of saying hi but her hand went to her stomach instead. She couldn’t explain that right now. CJ quickly hid her face behind a stand of hats so she could still see him. She felt all weird and goose bumpy at seeing Lindsay again after so long.
A girl walked up behind Lindsay, wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug, then kissed his neck. She was tall, especially in those heels, and her long, brown hair fell down her back like she’d just walked out of a shampoo ad. The dress would have been some fancy label – definitely not Target, where CJ shopped – and was probably worth more than what she could make in a week shearing.
Feeling dizzy, CJ stumbled back and bumped into another lady. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered.
‘Are you okay, dear?’ She looked at CJ with real concern.
Thankfully, Irene arrived. ‘Hey, you don’t look so good.’
CJ couldn’t speak. She was devastated and too upset to tell Irene.
‘Excuse me. Can we borrow your chair for a bit? She needs to sit down.’ They were instantly ushered through to some chairs. CJ sank down with relief.
‘How are you feeling? Do you want me to get help?’
CJ just shook her head. She felt like she was falling in space, spiralling out of control. She also felt stupid. She’d always believed Lindsay would be back. She thought he loved her. But now… hell, she was really on her own. That’s when it hit her: she would be raising this baby alone. A single mother, with everything she had going on – was that even possible?
