by Fiona Palmer
‘Boss?’ he asked.
CJ saw his eyes linger on her chest. Her breasts had grown and were bulging out of her tank top. She wondered if he’d think anything of it. ‘Yes,’ she said.
‘How come you’re employing such youngsters who can’t shear? This bloke here was really bad,’ said Lindsay, pointing to Jeremy’s stand.
‘Trust you to notice, and for your information, Jeremy’s doing okay, considering he’s never been inside a shearing shed before. He’s not bad for only two weeks’ training. Even better now you helped him. Thanks, by the way.’
His eyes opened wide. ‘Training? You?’
‘Yep. Didn’t you see the sign on your way in?’
He shook his head and looked utterly confused.
‘Welcome to the Rosevale Shearing School.’ CJ enjoyed watching his mouth flop open and couldn’t help reaching across to close it. Touching him like that sent ripples through her body. ‘Pretty cool, huh?’
‘My God – you? This is your school? You actually started one?’
She liked seeing him lost for words. ‘Sure did, thanks to a lot of people, especially Burt. But yep, it’s mine. I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it already. We’re getting quite a good reputation,’ she laughed.
‘I’m just so amazed.’ He ran his hand over his face. ‘But what about what I said before? I love you, Calamity. I’ve never stopped loving you. I couldn’t care less if I never stepped inside a shearing shed again. I can live with that. But I can’t live without you. Do you even… do you still feel anything for me?’
She saw the uncertainty in his eyes and swallowed the lump scratching its way to the top of her throat. Her chest rose as she inhaled deeply. ‘I tried to move on. I thought you had. I saw you with the beautiful girl at Dowerin and thought —’
‘She’s not my girlfriend,’ said Lindsay. ‘You should know she’s not my type, CJ!’ He glanced at his feet. ‘Have you… found someone else?’
CJ took a moment to answer. It wouldn’t hurt him to sweat for a few seconds. ‘I tried. But he wasn’t you.’
Lindsay raised his head and asked softly, ‘Do you… ?’
CJ smiled up into the blue eyes she knew so well and felt as if she’d come home. ‘Yes, I still love you.’ Before she could finish he had leaned over the fence and muffled her words with his lips. Hungrily she kissed him, a whole year’s worth of kisses that she’d missed. He guided her through the pen flaps, closer to him without breaking the kiss and CJ couldn’t resist. She was in heaven. Lindsay crunched her close for a second before stepping back bewildered.
‘What the… ? Who… ?’ Lindsay didn’t know what to think.
She took his hand, his hard-working, callused hand, and placed it on her belly, holding it firmly. ‘I’m sorry to tell you like this, so late and all, but you’re going to be a dad.’ She was hoping he wouldn’t be scared off. ‘Can you handle that?’
Lindsay flinched. ‘Whoa! It’s moving.’
‘Well, seeing you again has got me all excited.’
‘Boy or girl?’ Lindsay asked.
CJ threaded her hand into his hair and brought his lips closer so she could kiss him gently. ‘Not sure.’
Lindsay wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her forehead. ‘Oh. My. God.’
‘Can you cope with this?’ she asked again.
He took a deep breath and nuzzled into her neck. ‘With you by my side, nothing will beat me again,’ he whispered into her hair.
And she believed him, because he believed it so strongly. She could hear it in his voice. Just seeing him in this shearing shed, looking like he belonged, showed her he was a new man who was not going to be beaten again.
‘I guess we’ve both had a surprise today.’ She kissed him longingly. ‘Come on. Let’s go knock the fellas off and head home to Burt’s.’
‘Burt’s?’ he asked.
‘Yeah. It’s a long story, but we have plenty of time.’
‘I like the sound of that,’ Lindsay said, squeezing her hand. He helped her down from the raised floor and they walked towards the afternoon sun.
49
THE morning sunlight shimmered through the gum trees and a slight breeze brought with it warmth and the scent of wattle. Yellow daisy flowers covered the ground like a carpet. A small stream of water trickled along from the rain they’d had a few days ago. CJ stood quietly on the bank beside the gully. All that could be heard was a couple of magpies nearby and Kelly cooing softly in Dot’s arms. CJ admired the bundle of soft pink wrapped in her blankets. Kelly was amazing – so tiny but with long fingers that clung on tightly. She had little wisps of blonde hair around her fine, porcelain face, and the deepest blue eyes CJ had ever seen. Apparently they were just like hers, or so Lindsay kept saying. But CJ couldn’t see it. She thought Kelly looked so much like Lindsay, especially when he was a baby.
One thing all three of them had was the love of a shearing shed. Whether it was due to the sounds or the busy people or maybe even the smells, CJ didn’t know, but Kelly always settled best in the shearing shed.
CJ reached over and touched her baby’s cheek. Kelly latched both tiny hands onto her wrist, as if refusing to let her mum go. It brought a smile to CJ’s lips and a song to her heart. She gently tugged out of Kelly’s grip and found Lindsay’s hand. He winked at her, but it was more than a playful gesture. It said ‘I love you’, ‘I’m here for you’, and most of all, it said ‘I will never fail you again’. CJ knew his depression was behind him. He’d sought help and won. It was a shame her father couldn’t have beaten his.
Joe stood beside Lindsay and Ross stood next to Dot. They had all gathered on this beautiful day to put Burt to rest as he’d wished. CJ pulled the urn in closer to her body. She couldn’t believe it had been nearly a year since Burt’s death. So much had changed. Lindsay had taken on the shearing school, engaging his first group with absolute ease. The students quickly took to his easygoing nature, and CJ loved being in the shed watching him. Her baby girl was demanding, but she spent as much time teaching and with Lindsay as she could. The farm kept Lindsay busy when the school wasn’t running and, together with Joe, they were breeding some quality sheep.
She couldn’t believe how full of life Lindsay was, compared with the man who had left her all those months ago. She loved the way he attacked the farm work. He paid for it, with his arm aching some nights. And when he couldn’t sleep because of it, CJ would find him sitting in Kelly’s room or just nursing her quietly before her next feed. Lindsay had got used to the fact that he just couldn’t do some things, and he was good at finding ways around it.
CJ heard a vehicle approaching and watched Irene, Paul and Chris come to join them. Chris had been dating Beth for a month now. He’d stayed away for ages, but as he grew closer to Beth, he found he could comfortably become a part of CJ’s life again. She did miss their banter and his caring nature.
Irene put her hand on CJ’s shoulder. ‘Sorry we’re late. We stopped to pick this up.’
Paul held out a plaque that they’d had made. It read:
Burt Kelly, 1925–2011
He lives on in the land and in the people who loved him.
‘Oh, you guys. That’s beautiful.’
‘We thought you could get a garden seat and put this on it.’
CJ hugged all three, wiping the tears from her eyes.
Dot passed Kelly to an eager Irene. ‘That’s very special,’ Dot said, squeezing her daughter’s hand.
Her wonderful mum was always so busy these days. She loved her new little house and was involved with the community, organising meals on wheels and Red Cross fundraising. She talked a lot about a bloke called William, who lived in a unit near hers, and CJ hoped they’d be good company for each other.
This morning Dot had brought around a book that had been CJ’s favourite as a kid: Mia and Grizzly the Bear. It had CJ thinking about her dad a bit, and how he used to read it to her. Having Kelly had made her think about him too, and how he neve
r got to see his granddaughter. She would tell Kelly about him one day, about the good father he’d once been, not the man he’d become by the end. And she would also tell her about Burt Kelly, her namesake… of sorts. She would tell her about Burt’s funny sayings and his love of Australia and his dog called Scabs. She glanced at the small cross by the tree where Joe had buried Scabs a few months back. It seemed fitting that the two would be together again.
Lindsay stroked her arm and whispered, ‘I think it’s time.’
She nodded and stepped forward. She lifted the lid, and the breeze picked up and sent Burt’s ashes floating out across the sea of daisies. ‘We’ll never forget you, Burt.’
A tear trickled down CJ’s cheek and she felt a hand caress her shoulder. She turned but no one was there. It was then that she knew it was Burt beside her, watching over her, just as he always said he would.
MICHAEL JOSEPH
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First published by Penguin Group (Australia), 2011
Copyright © Fiona Palmer 2011
The moral right of the author has been asserted
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ISBN: 978-1-74-253205-9
