‘You’re lucky to still have your parents alive,’ Leila commented.
He squeezed her hand. The restaurant overlooked the mountains and from her vintage point by the window, Leila could see lights stretching as far as her eyes could see. She imagined families seating to dinner and probably talking about their plans for the holidays. She turned her eyes from the window and looked at Jack.
He looked breathtaking in his dark suit. The lights of the restaurant brought out the blueness of his eyes, making them a shade darker. Leila felt as though she could burrow herself in them and loose herself in the blue sea of loveliness. Her eyes lowered to his mouth and she found herself blushing. Jack looked at her in amusement as though he could read her thoughts, which he probably could.
To distract herself, Leila looked around the packed restaurant, though tables were placed at a discreet distance from each other.
‘Appetizer?’ Jack asked her when the waiter came.
Leila shook her head. She wasn’t a big eater and an appetizer would do the opposite and fill her up instead, spoiling her appetite for dinner.
‘OK, we’ll go straight to the main course,’ Jack told the waiter. ‘Leila?’
‘Go on and order for both of us please,’ Leila said, her mind on the last few weeks.
So much had happened and every day, she and Jack grew closer, though she had to admit that they spent more time in bed than out of it. Still, she felt as though he held back a part of himself. It was nothing she could lay a finger on; rather, it was a feeling. Sometimes he got that guarded look on his face and she wondered what the cause was.
‘What are you thinking about my precious Leila?’ Jack said, with a teasing smile.
Like now, when he uttered endearments to her, they felt like part of her name, rather than a sweet name for a lover. She looked at him and decided to be honest.
‘I was just thinking how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. But then it crossed my mind how little I know you. I feel as though you hold yourself back and I was wondering the reason behind it.’
Like a curtain, the feelings on his face closed away, in its place a neutral look, almost like a spectator observing a scene with minimal interest.
‘Maybe after tonight, you’ll not think that way again,’ Jack said and fished a dark blue velvet box from his pocket.
Leila’s eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. Was this what she thought it was?
He pushed his chair back, came to her and knelt by her side. He held her hand and kissed it. Then his blue eyes focused on her face.
‘Leila Wakefield, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?’ he said.
Tears flowed freely from her eyes. She touched his cheek and nodded.
‘Yes I will.’
The applause from other diners reminded Leila that they were in a restaurant. The world had ceased to exist as far as she was concerned. She felt as though her heart would burst from joy. She couldn’t wait to speak to speak to Susan the next day to share her news. Leila and Jack held hands throughout dinner.
They skipped dessert, and like teenagers ran to the car as soon as Jack paid the bill. In the car, they barely spoke, the emotions of the last hour rendering Leila speechless. There was so much to think about. The wedding, her dress and wrapping up her life back in California. As if on cue, Jack spoke to her.
‘Planning the wedding?’ he teased in a gentle tone.’ Big or small?’
‘Definitely small,’ Leila replied.
He was not one for big weddings, after all her experience with Horace had taught her that big weddings did not guarantee a happy marriage. She wanted a small intimate ceremony with just Jack’s family and a few friends. Jack was chuckling now and from the street lights, she saw how relaxed he looked, the muscles on his face at ease.
‘I don’t know if we can get away with a small ceremony. All my Uncles and Aunties reside in Texas and my mother….where do I begin? She’s been on our case to get married for ages. I doubt I can convince her to a small ceremony.’
Leila thought of her own mother and imagined how she would have reacted had she been alive.
‘I believe my mother would have been the same way. I was an only child and born later in their lives so I know she would have made a big fuss about it,’ Leila said. ‘It doesn’t bother me either way. As long as we’re together, I’m happy.’
She waited for the words of love or even affection to come but none did. Her own mouth itched with the need to confess to Jack that she had fallen in love with him but his silence put her off. She told herself to give him time. He was probably one of those people who needed to be sure of themselves before saying something.
Still, it would have been nice to hear words of endearment along with the proposal. Leila shrugged it off, after all he was going to marry her. Which man married a woman he was not in love with?
That night, their lovemaking took on new proportions. The fact that Jack was now her fiancé made Leila a little teary as they made love.
‘Are you alright?’ Jack asked, concern written on his face.
Her emotions were raw and her feelings on the surface. She looked at Jack’s handsome face hovering above her and she felt overwhelmed by emotions.
‘I’m fine,’ she said with a smile. ‘I love you so much Jack. I’m in love with you, isn’t that crazy?’
He smiled back. ‘It’s not crazy at all.’
His mouth came down on hers and he kissed her wildly. It only hit her later, after Jack had returned to his own bedroom that he had not spoken of his feelings for her. It hurt Leila a little but she refused to focus on it, instead, she concentrated on the positive bits of their new relationship. She fell asleep with a lot on her mind.
Jack’s quiet refusal to share her bed until morning. The subtle distance he held between them.
Chapter Ten
Jack was excited about his looming nuptials with Leila. Despite his attempts at keeping a safe distance between them, she had crawled into his skin and he found himself thinking of her often. He felt impatient at the five days when she would be away. She had returned to California a day earlier to wrap up her life as best as she could in five days.
He pranced around the house, feeling lonely. He had never noticed how large the house was until now. He imagined it full of children in a few years’ time and the thought warmed his heart. Unable to bear his own company any longer, he decided to go out to his parents’ house. He glanced at the time. It was noon, good. He would just be in time for lunch.
He drove at a leisurely pace, musing over how one’s fortunes changed in an instance. He was about to get married and to a beautiful and wonderful woman. Not to mention sexy, Jack thought with a chuckle. Leila was a revelation in bed. Whatever inexperience she had, she more than made up with her passion.
She was game to try anything and he knew that their future together would never have a dull moment. He stopped his car by a large, wrought iron gate, full of ivy interweaving itself between the metal rods. Before he could hoot to make his presence known, the gate slid apart and he drove in.
It had taken years to convince his parents to have that particular technology installed. It was silly to have someone come all the way from the house or stop their chores to open the gate. Jack was surprised when he saw his brother, Aaron’s car parked in the drive. His brother was a lawyer in the city and it was rare to see him at this time of day.
He parked his car next to Helen’s and got out. He found the whole family in the back garden, having lunch as he had thought.
‘Trust Jack to show up when we’re just about to eat,’ Aaron said and stood up.
He hugged Jack and clapped him hard on the shoulder. The two brothers were alike physical but the resemblance ended there.
‘Good to see you little brother,’ Jack teased.
He went round the table and kissed his sister Helen and then his mother and father. He pulled a chair and sat down.
‘This is an unexpected treat,’ their m
other said smiling whilst looking at all of them. ‘Having all my children under one roof and at the same time.’
‘What you doing here in the middle of the day Aaron? Got fired?’ Jack said.
‘Partners don’t get fired big bro. I just felt a need to touch base, plus I’m going to Washington next week and I might not get another chance,’ Aaron explained.
‘Wow, you’re going up in the world! Washington huh?’ Jack said.
‘Don’t be impressed. I’m just going for a meeting with a client,’ Aaron said dryly.
‘They don’t just send anyone, do they?’ their father said, speaking up for the first time.
‘No,’ Aaron admitted, smiling sheepishly. ‘It’s an honor.’
‘You work hard bro and you deserve it,’ Jack said, his teasing tone gone.
It was true that his brother worked like a dog at that law firm where he had recently being made a partner. He had broken the record as being the youngest lawyer to ever being made partner. Of course the family name helped but that was only a small part of it. His hard work had earned him the position and Jack felt very proud of his brother.
They had been raised with a value for work ethic. It was unknown in their home to be in bed past seven o’clock in the morning unless you had a very good reason for it. His sister Helen, owned and managed several executive salons in the city. They had all done well for themselves on an individual capacity.
Jack served himself and returned to the table, enjoying the feeling of belonging that he had taken for granted before he met Leila. He couldn’t imagine how it felt like not to have his family around. Once they were married, he hoped she would feel part of his family. They were wonderful people and he knew that she would come to love them as he did.
‘What’s up sis, you’re very quiet,’ Jack said turning to Helen.
‘I’m alright; you two never let me get in a word.’
‘I don’t remember you complaining about it before?’
Helen laughed and pushed back her jet black hair with impatience.
‘How’s the agency thing going?’ she whispered. ‘Any luck?’
‘As a matter of fact I did find someone. She’s wonderful and perfect for me. Her name’s Leila and we’re getting married in a month’s time.’ Jack said.
‘Married?’ Helen shrieked.
Silence fell across the table and everyone turned to him. His mother looked particularly shocked.
‘Jack?’ she said.
He sighed and decided to tell them. He had intended to introduce them to Leila and give them time to get to know her before announcing their engagement. Now, thanks to Helen’s big mouth, he had to tell them now. He glared at her and then focused on his parents.
‘I met this girl, her name’s Leila and yes I did propose to her and she said yes.’
They were all silent. It was a lot to take in, Jack knew. His father recovered first and he cleared his throat.
‘Where is this girl then?’ he said in an even tone.
‘She went back to California just yesterday. She’ll be back on Friday and you can meet her then.’
‘How about dinner on Friday then? Your mother and I would love to meet her,’ his father said.
Jack would have preferred to have Leila for himself for the weekend but he felt cornered and he nodded.
‘Friday it is then. Will you join us Aaron?’ their father continued smoothly.
‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world,’ he said and winked at Jack.
The topic was immediately dropped and for that Jack was grateful. He loved his parents for that. They treated all their children like adults. They never made negative comments even when some situations like proposing to a girl weeks after you met her baffled them. They talked about the Christmas plans and caught up with news of their other relatives.
The lunch stretched on and he left three hours later. By the time he got back to the ranch it was three in the afternoon. He steered the car to the left and in the parking lot he saw a silver mustang and groaned. It was like a bad dream. Clarissa was back.
Chapter Eleven
He found her lounging on the deck, her long fingers wrapped around a glass of champagne. At three in the afternoon, Jack thought to himself, shaking his head. She had not heard him enter and now he padded up to her observing her and watching for those feelings he had had to return. He felt as if he was observing someone he once knew a long time ago.
Yet it was months ago that he and Clarissa had been engrossed in their affair. He knew the reason for his feelings disappearing was Leila. Though he now questioned whether he had strong feelings for her at all. Did you get over someone you once loved so fast?
She finally sensed someone and she whipped her chair round. She smiled, revealing a pair of white even teeth. As usual, her tits were hanging, squeezed into a tank top that was two sizes too small. Jack felt absolutely nothing, just a mild irritation at what he viewed as invasion of his privacy. His home was now a private domain belonging to his wife-to- be and himself.
He looked at Clarissa and smiled politely.
‘Hi Clarissa,’ Jack said in a casual tone.
She stood up and with flair wrapped her hands around him and then lifted one leg and wrapped it around his thighs. Still there was none the heat, that months ago would have been warming up his body. Gently, he disengaged her and she pouted.
‘What is it big boy? Aren’t you happy to see me?’ she said, posing as though for the cover of playboy.
‘You weren’t so friendly the last time I saw you,’ Jack commented.
Clarissa laughed and threw her head back, knowing that the gesture was a sure way to turn him on. Only this time, he felt nothing. He saw Carissa for the empty shell that she was. It was unfortunate that with such a package that was her exterior, she had no substance. Her interest was one thing only—money.
He shuddered with the realization of how close he had come to marrying her. Jack sat down opposite her and observed her with amusement. He was just relieved that Leila was not here. If Clarissa had found her here, she would have gone out of her way to claim her possession of him.
He could take his time now and let her say why she had come back.
‘You upset me very badly Jack and my feelings were heart,’ she said, adopting a little girl voice, which she resorted to when she was determined to have her way.
Jack hated it. He could not understand why a grown ass woman would want to speak like a five year old girl. Now he realized again, that her tone did not upset him as it once did. She was part of his past, he knew now.
‘I missed you so much Jack. There’s no other man like you and I was a fool for leaving although you drove me to it,’ she said sounding sincere.
‘What has changed about you Clarissa? I’m sure you still spend money like it grows on trees, right?’
‘A girl needs some retail therapy to keep her going,’ she said with a shrug.
‘You still don’t want children and you know that’s a deal breaker for me?’
Her expression said and before she could speak, he lifted his hand to quiet her down.
‘None of that matters now Clarissa. I’ll not waste your time or mine,’ Jack said, suddenly tired of the games he and Clarissa were playing. ‘I’m not interested.’
‘You can’t possibly mean that?’ she said, clearly shocked.
‘I do I’m afraid. I gave you a chance and you fucked up. I’ve moved on.’
She screwed her eyes and bore into his. ‘Who is she?’
‘It doesn’t matter Clarissa, what matters is that you and me are done,’ Jack said firmly.
‘But we can’t be done,’ Clarissa said in a surprisingly confident and strong voice. ‘Not by a long shot.’
Jack sighed. ‘We are Clarissa, let’s just both of us accept that and move on.’
‘But we can’t Jack,’ she said.
He hoped she would not turn out to be one of those women who got obsessed with a man.
‘Why the hell n
ot? Are we not two adults of rational mind?’ Jack said, emphasizing the last two words.
‘Because I’m expecting your child Jack Farley.’
It felt as though the ground had opened up and was slowly pulling him into its jaws. Pregnant? Jack’s brain repeated the word unable to fathom what it meant. She couldn’t possibly be pregnant, not now! His heart seemed to have stopped beating and his brain refused to formulate coherent thoughts. This was not happening, Jack thought.
‘Yes Jack, I’m pregnant and I assure you that you are indeed the father.’
Jack closed his eyes and wanted to weep. How could things go so badly wrong when just a few hours ago he had existed in an orbit of unbreakable joy?
‘How sure are you?’
‘Very sure, I’ve gone to the doctors and he confirmed that I’m three months pregnant,’ she said and patted her tummy. He looked at it closely and saw that indeed her belly was a little rounded.
‘You don’t want children,’ Jack said in a flat voice.
She beamed. ‘Now I do. I can just see us as a family of three, sitting around the dinner table or going for pizza.’
Jack’s head pounded and he knew the veins across his head were dark and visible. He stood up and begun to pace.
‘Listen Clarissa, having a baby is not a big deal. Thousands of parents are raising their children yet they are not together as a couple.’
‘I have no intention of having a baby out of wedlock,’ Clarissa said, her black eyes glaring at him.
‘Since when do you have moral values?’ Jack snapped and then regretted it immediately. Infuriating Clarissa was not the best way to go about solving the issue.
‘I don’t care what you say Jack, I’m not having this baby alone. We love each other, don’t’ we? We’re doing it together—’
The unspoken threat hang between them.
‘Else what?’ Jack said.
Clarissa’s face was hard and cold. He had ever seen her that way.
‘Else you will never get to see your child, ever.’
All the air left his lungs. Jack felt as though she had grabbed a knife and stabbed him with it, right in his ribcage. His child, she was carrying his child? His eyes strayed to her rounded tummy. His longing for children had intensified over the years. Perhaps it was a sign of maturity but whatever it was, he wanted that baby badly.
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