“Let’s eat and go home and get some clothes. We can drive north to Oregon and hide out until we know if he’s going to be arrested or not.”
The children were approaching the table. Teddy’s hair had been combed and his hands and face washed. Mary was a good big sister to him. If only they could all stay like this forever.
When the food arrived a few minutes later, they ate in silence. Phil nibbled on her food, but the children devoured theirs. He wasn’t hungry, either, but forced himself to eat. They could have a long night of driving ahead.
When everyone had their fill, Henry took out his wallet to pay. Phil put her hand on his arm and looked into his eyes. “I’d choose you, too.”
His heart soared. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for this woman. Whatever it took, he would keep her safe.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Caroline
THE WALLS OF THE HOSPITAL were the color of brown eggs. She stared at them, letting the grief overcome her, and sobbed. She’d had a miscarriage. There would be no fourth child. Miller did this to me. He killed my baby.
She turned over when the door to her room opened. It was Mother. “How are you feeling, darling?”
“I knew it the moment I started cramping. I hoped I was wrong,” said Caroline.
“You’ve lost a lot of blood. Julius wants you to rest for a few days at least, but we can take you home in a few hours.”
“He tried to kill me, but he killed the baby instead.”
“We’ll make him pay. Your father has the police looking for him. He didn’t go back to your house in the city or to his office. We’re not sure where he is.”
“He’s probably gone to her.”
“They’re headed there as well.”
“She brought the box to Mr. Sayer?” asked Caroline.
“Yes. She and Mr. Sayer broke it open and found the journals. Sweetheart, we were part of his plan from the beginning. He wanted to become a Bennett.”
“He never loved me, Mother. My entire adult life’s been a lie.”
“But we have the children.” Mother slipped in beside her and took her in her arms, letting her cry like she was still a little girl. When the tears finally ceased, they lay together talking about the past and the future. “We will come up with a plan for the rest of your life. And you have us. You’re not alone.”
“The only time I was alone is when I was with Miller.”
“He tricked the girl into being with him. He stole the small amount of money she’d saved for when her baby came,” said Mother. “It was all laid out in his journal. He’s a monster.”
Julius came in, bringing a cup of broth on a tray. “The nurse sent this in and said to try to eat a bit if you can.” Julius set the tray on the end of the bed and perched on the other side of the bed as Caroline sat upright. “Are you feeling better?”
“Empty,” she said.
“Because you were only about eight weeks along, everything will take care of itself. It’s not necessary for you to have any kind of procedure.” Julius’s eyes were red-rimmed, as if he’d been crying.
Tears flowed from her eyes, hot on her cheeks, and soaking the collar of her gown. “It’s probably for the best.”
“I know it hurts. I’m sorry.” He brushed a lock of her hair from her wet face. “No one seems to be able to identify the man who tried to kill you, but the local sheriff felt certain he was a hired killer of some kind.”
Caroline flinched.
Julius looked uncomfortable. “The journals that Mr. Sayer brought are fairly damning. The police detective seemed certain they could bring him in for questions and book him on attempted murder.”
“They have to catch him first,” said Caroline. “He’s resourceful, especially when pushed against the wall.”
Mother and Julius exchanged glances, but they didn’t argue with her. “At least try and eat a little broth,” said Mother.
“I will, Mother. But will you send the little children in? I want to see them.”
Mother left to fetch Audrey and Pierce, leaving her alone with Julius. She motioned for him to come over to the other side of the bed. When he sat in the spot vacated by her mother, she took his hand. “You sharpening that stick—that was the difference between life and death.”
“What made you grab it?” he asked.
“Instinct, I suppose. Instinct I’ve been ignoring since the day I met Miller Dreeser.”
“We all see what we want to see when we love someone,” he said. “It makes us blind to their faults. Sometimes it makes us liars to ourselves.”
“I wish we had been honest with each other all those years ago.”
“I’ll never forgive myself.” He continued to gaze down at her with those blue eyes like the sea. “It’s all I think about—what would have happened if I’d been honest to you about my feelings.”
“But we wouldn’t have the children.”
“Yes. And they’re wonderful. You’ve done well with them. And, Caroline, tomorrow’s another day.” He brushed the lone tear cascading down her cheek with the back of his index finger. “When you’re ready I’ll be here. This time, I won’t quit until I’ve convinced you to try love again. With me.”
“It may take a long time.”
“I’ll wait forever if I have to.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Miller
AT NINE A.M. Miller was in Timmy’s booth, waiting, his mind blank. He felt detached from everything other than the sights and sounds of the bar. Other than him and the bartender, plus a couple of career drunks, he was the only one in the place. He was well into his second beer with absolutely no dent into his hangover when Timmy appeared, wearing his usual suit and looking fresh as a damn daisy. Timmy had his hand in his pants pocket, jiggling his keys. His expression seemed dour. Something was wrong. Miller went cold with dread.
“What’s the matter?” asked Miller.
Timmy grabbed his forehead, and started pacing in front of the booth. “Damndest thing’s happened. When my guy didn’t call to let me know it was done, I sent someone else down there to see what was happening. I had a bad feeling, ’cause this guy’s reliable. Always calls me first chance he can get to a phone. The police were everywhere. And my guy was in a body bag. He asked around. Found out that Caroline had some kind of sharp stick. Stuck him through the neck.”
The room tipped. He broke out in a cold sweat. The beers wanted to spew out of him as he sputtered, “He’s dead and she’s alive?”
“Yeah, and you gotta get out of here. My informant tells me they’re looking for you. Something about journals or something. You write all this down in some book?”
He didn’t answer as he rose from the booth. Phil had betrayed him. She was the only one who knew about his box. All his secrets and desires, stored and packaged so that no one would know about them. “Dammit, Phil.” He picked up his glass of beer and threw it as hard as he could at the wall.
Timmy took hold of his shoulders. “Way I figure, you head out of town, get lost somewhere.” He thrust a stack of bills and a box of bullets into his hand. “This’ll get you by for a while. When you land somewhere safe, call me, and we’ll figure out your next move.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a pistol. “You take this with you. It’s fully loaded.”
“I can’t leave her,” said Miller.
“I’m telling you to go now. You have a few hours and that’s it. Do not go out to the beach. Just go. Start over. New name. New everything. You understand me? Otherwise, they’re locking you up and you’ll never see the light of day again.”
He nodded and murmured an agreement. They embraced, and Miller headed out the door with every intention of doing exactly what his friend told him not to do. There was no way in hell he was leaving Phil behind. If he had to drag her out of that house by her hair, she was coming with him wherever he was going. It was up to her if she wanted to bring that brat with her, but he was taking her or leaving her for dead.
**
He hid the car in a thick wood a quarter mile off the highway and walked to the cottage, carrying his weapon. When Miller arrived at Phil’s cottage, he hammered the door with his fist, but no one answered. He raced around the side of the house and banged on the kitchen door. Nothing. A basket with bread and jelly was on the back step, probably left by the annoying farmer’s wife. She usually came by in the morning, which meant Phil hadn’t been there for hours. Where the hell was she? Phil couldn’t leave without a car. He came back around the side of the house to the front. Sayer’s car was gone. She was with him. Lying bitch. He knew it all along. She’d been spreading her legs for him this whole time. After what he’d sacrificed for her. The betrayal nearly knocked him to the ground.
The sound of a car drew his attention to the long driveway. Henry Sayer’s car bounced in the potholes. He hid behind a bush. Just as he assumed. She was with the landlord. He waited, his heart keeping time with the second hand on his watch.
When Sayer parked the car and got out, Miller jumped out of the bush. “I’m here for Phil, Sayer. You need to get out of the way.”
In the car, Teddy crawled over the seat to his mother’s lap.
Sayer put his one arm out in front of him. “We don’t want trouble, Dreeser. Just move along. It’s over.”
“I’m happy to leave once I have Phil. She’s coming with me.” He pushed past Sayer and headed for the car.
Phil opened her car door with Teddy clinging to her and walked over to where he stood face to face with Sayer. “Miller, everyone knows what you did. It’s too late. They’ll come looking for you. Just leave while you still can.”
“Pack what you want to bring, Phil. You have five minutes before we go,” said Miller.
“You don’t own me any longer,” said Phil. “I’m staying here with Henry.”
“Get your goddam things, Phil,” said Miller.
“Just leave peacefully,” said Sayer. “Get a head start on the police. When we left the Bennetts’ they already knew it was you that tried to have Caroline killed. They’ll have police all over the state looking for you if you don’t leave soon.”
Rage coursed through him. The muscles of his arms twitched. He would hurt her. Strangle her until her eyes begged him to stop. Henry Sayer. He hated this son of a bitch. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the pistol, aiming it at Henry’s head. “Get your things, or I’ll kill him.”
Teddy stared at him with wide eyes before burying his face against Phil’s neck.
“Phil, take the kids inside the house,” said Sayer. “We’ll settle this out here.”
What was this? It was Mary slinking across the yard. She was almost to Sayer’s cottage. Planning to call the police, no doubt. He raised his gun and fired. Mary fell to the ground.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Phil
MARY FELL. PHIL SCREAMED. In her arms, Teddy clung to her as they ran to Mary. She lay crumpled on the grass, her little body twisted like a rag doll. Her eyes were open, wide and scared. Blood had soaked through the top of her dress. “Can you hear me?” asked Phil.
“Yes.” Barely a whisper, but she could talk. A doctor. They must get a doctor. She fell to her knees. Teddy had a death grip around her neck. In her panic, she’d forgotten everything but Mary for a moment, but now she looked over at Miller. He had the gun pointed at Henry and was ordering him to lie face down on the ground. Miller cocked the gun and pointed it at Henry’s head. Suddenly, a deafening noise shattered the silence, and Miller fell to the ground, his neck squirting blood. A gunshot. From where? She looked around wildly, unsure from which direction it had originated. Mrs. Thomas rose from behind a thicket of sea grasses, rifle raised. She ran to Mary, kneeling on the ground next to her. “It’s all right, dearie, you’re going to be fine. It’s only a little bullet that went right through your shoulder, but the doctor can sew you right up.”
Mary must be in shock because she was nodding as if everything Mrs. Thomas said was an everyday conversation.
Henry dropped to his knees by Miller. “He’s gone.”
“Oh, dear, well, this is a bit of a conundrum,” said Mrs. Thomas. “Henry, go inside and call the doctor. Tell them we’ve got a body and a girl needs some mending. Then, call Sheriff McIntyre. Tell him what’s happened. Hopefully my recent delivery of free jam will keep me out of jail.”
“Where did you come from?” asked Phil.
“Mr. Thomas dropped me on his way to town. I came by to visit, but then no one was here, so I went inside Henry’s to wait for Mr. Thomas to come back and take me home. I saw Dreeser walk up. It took me a moment to find Henry’s rifle and bullets, or I would’ve been out here sooner.”
PART VI
December 1947
CHAPTER ONE
Caroline
THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS a cold front brought clear skies, swathing San Francisco in glittering ice. Caroline and Audrey sat before the fire in their new home wrapping the last of the gifts for the orphans. Outside in the yard, the shouts of Julius and the boys tossing a football back and forth penetrated the Christmas music that played through the radio. Stockings were hung and the tree was decorated, lit up with the new bubble lights that had become popular. Caroline tied a golden bow around a box containing a doll for one of the little girls. Audrey had been adamant they find the prettiest doll in all of San Francisco. Shopping with her perfectionist daughter had reminded Caroline of the years she and her own mother had scoured department stores with similar intensity.
“Mother, do you ever think of Father?” asked Audrey.
Caroline set aside the finished present, surprised at the question. “Sometimes,” said Caroline. “Why do you ask?” The children never talked about him. After the initial shock over his death and crimes, the children had seemed to forget he ever existed. She knew this was only true on the outside. The scars were hidden, as were her own. There was no escaping the damage done to them because of Miller’s secret. It was a fact, just as moving forward was a necessity.
“I can’t remember what he looks like,” said Audrey. “And that makes me feel peculiar.”
There were photos of Miller in a box in the attic, in case the children ever wanted to look at them. “Peculiar how?”
“Like I should remember what my own father looked like, even though I hate him.” Audrey continued. “I don’t have to love him, do I? After what he did?”
“No, but it’s all right to talk to me about it anytime you want to.”
“Can I tell you a secret?” asked Audrey.
“You can tell me anything.”
“I always wished Julius was my dad.”
Caroline looked down at her left hand. The diamonds sparkled under the lights. Julius and Caroline Nelson. Her second chance. Their second chance. “We’re lucky, aren’t we?”
“Do you ever miss the old house?” Audrey asked.
“No. It had too many memories. Bad ones. It was good to start over, and I wanted to pick out a house with Julius.”
“Mother, the boys and I were talking, and we have a Christmas wish of our own.”
“You do?” She started to worry. “Something new for your lists?”
“No, nothing like that.”
Julius and the boys tumbled in through the back door, rosy-cheeked and breathless and smelling like boys do after physical exertion. “Take off your boots,” Caroline called out to them. “Margaret just cleaned the floors.”
“There’s no mud. Too cold.” Julius already had his boots off and padded over to her in his stockinged feet. She loved his feet in socks. Would her delight of the simple pleasure of his presence ever grow old? She hadn’t believed it possible to be giddy in love at her age. He’d given her time, as promised. Surprising to her, it hadn’t taken as long as she figured it would. After grieving for almost nine months, the dormant feelings for Julius resurfaced in a mad rush. Julius was Julius and she’d loved him all her life.
“I’m ready to see about us,” she told him one afternoon in May. �
��Would you take me out on a date?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he said.
Julius insisted he court her the old-fashioned way, taking her out for dinners and to the movies, and sending her flowers and gifts. By the summer, they were in crazy love and decided there was no reason to wait on making it official. With the children and their parents, they were married in late September on the lawn of her parents’ beach house. The passion between them was intense, but their relationship was rooted in friendship and trust. Despite everything, she found loving and trusting Julius easier than anything she’d ever done. She was happier than she ever supposed possible. Not that it wasn’t still hard at times. She still jerked awake from nightmares. Sometimes, in the middle of an ordinary moment, the memory of those awful days washed over her and the horror of what Miller had done to all of them hit her anew. The contents of his journals and the knowledge of what he’d set out to do was staggering to her. Still, after all these months, it seemed impossible that someone she once loved had betrayed her to such a degree.
She gazed up at Julius as he ripped off his knit hat. His hair stood up, making him look like a kid. He held out his hand to help her up from the floor. “The gifts look beautiful.” He kissed her on the cheek. “As do you.”
“It took a long time,” said Audrey. “I’m exhausted.”
Julius laughed. “Too exhausted for delivering the gifts and going to dinner at the club?”
“Well, not that exhausted.” Audrey grinned.
The boys came to stand before the fireplace. “Before we get ready to leave for the orphanage, on behalf of my siblings, we have something we’d like to discuss,” said Seb. “Mother, Julius, would you please sit?”
“A Christmas wish.” Audrey placed the last wrapped present in the pile and sat on the large chair closest to the fire, as Caroline and Julius sat together on the couch.
Miller's Secret Page 30
