“Boy! I’ll kill you!” He playfully popped the side of his head. “You know good and well my stroke is too good to be a woman!” He thrust his pelvis in a slow upward motion causing Charlene to blush in embarrassment of her husband’s childish antics.
“Now that the two of you have officially made up, you can get back on topic. This is serious,” Charlene interrupted hoping to quickly get to the good part about what he had been dishonest with her about.
“Your mother is right. As I was saying before, I have not been completely honest. Before you were born. I used to run the streets, very similar to how you are now. A lady by the name of Raquel Simmons, that I was dating, got pregnant. As her man, I felt it my responsibility to step up to the plate to take care of it, so I did. I didn’t realize that she had an on-again, off-again relationship with the infamous Calvin Rogers at the time.” Hearing Calvin’s name made Samson perk up a bit. He didn’t want to give his connection to him away by making any sudden movements; so he pretended to cough in his hands, so his father would not stop talking and continue.
Edmond gave Samson a moment to clear his throat and continued; “I knew she did her thang when I wasn’t around, but I didn’t make it my business to care who she was with. I found out three years later that the son I had grown to love as my own was not mine. One day I was out with your mother and Calvin came and approached me with a proposition. I was in between jobs at the time and he knew I had a relationship with Raquel. He informed me about a position with NUMMI that if I applied it would be mine and I would work in conjunction with him on a few things, in return for raising Charles, since he wanted no part in his life.”
Edmond sat a moment and thought about his words. He closed his eyes in an effort to hide the torment he was carrying with this secret. Tears began to form in the corner of his eyes. He thought about the fact that Calvin willingly gave up the opportunity to be a part of his son’s life because he was too busy building his business and a son was not a part of the plan. He thought about how he had abandoned Raquel at the most vulnerable time of her life because he was too hurt to deal with her and offer her his forgiveness. He thought about the fact that he put Charlene through agony some nights wondering where he was and if he would return, as he found refuge in different women who were able to satisfy his needs at that moment. He thought about how Samson was lost just like he was and could fall victim to gun violence or drugs at any time at the rate he was going. He thought about his little girl that felt she had to give up her body to fit in and was suffering the loss of a baby as a result. He thought about how he ultimately failed at his responsibility to protect his family. He opened his eyes, gazed off at the ceiling, took in a deep breath and continued.
“I accepted the offer. I needed the money and I wanted to be in Charles’ life any way I could. Your mother allowed this agreement to happen only if I stopped messing around with Raquel, which I did, initially.” He stole a quick glance at Charlene who shook her head. She knew he had been unfaithful. He could not help himself. It had been part of the very thing that made him attractive to her. All the ladies desired him. She couldn’t even be hurt by it. She was already numb to the pain. He shifted his attention back to Samson and continued, “I worked my way up in the company doing favors for Calvin here and there. Shipping cars with drugs, providing cars for various jobs, bodywork when necessary. When the company was getting ready to go under, my name and reputation were on the line and the government was going to conduct an investigation. Calvin came through in the midnight hour and kept the company alive through his relationships with some of the business owners, but eventually I knew I would have to repay him.”
“Wait…wait…wait…Are you telling me that you work for Calvin Rogers?” Samson questioned still piecing the story together.
“I’m telling you that I am not proud of what I have done and who I am. I made some mistakes along the way and I don’t want you to make any like I made. That is why I offered you a position with the company. I did all the dirt, everything is legit now, and it could all be yours.” Samson fidgeted with his hands contemplating revealing his own truth. What’s the worst that could happen? He thought to himself.
“So I sort of have an older brother?” he asked still feeling his way through his thoughts of his father’s confession.
“Not exactly. He doesn’t know about any of this or you and Debra. He calls me ‘Pops” and knows that I have been around, but he doesn’t know his biological father. For all he knows, he left out of his life when he was a baby. We thought it best for him not to know. For all of you to be kept out of the situation.” Charlene rushed over to Edmond and placed her arm around his waist. Talking about this particular subject caused her to be extra supportive. She was aware that the circumstances of the situation were difficult for Edmond and although they had their fair share of marital spats; she was all in when it came to her husband and children.
“Dad, I have something to tell you?” The energy in the room shifted toward Samson.
“Samson, what is going on? Please don’t tell me you got someone pregnant?” Charlene asked concerned preparing to have a breakdown if her assumptions were true. She rubbed Edmond’s back still managing to console him, but more so to keep her own emotions intact.
“I met Calvin Rogers the other day and I have been working for him.” He stated in a low tone, then lowering his head.
“You did what? Do you know what kind of mess you are into?” Edmond became livid. He took a step closer toward him and gently removed Charlene’s hand from his back.
“I know…I know…he told me that you were old friends…and…and,” he stopped mid-sentence then blurted out, “I shot someone…I killed him.”
“Who the hell did you kill?” Edmond demanded. “Old friends? Boy, you better get to explanin’. What you are
sayin’ is not adding up.”
“I don’t know…I don’t know…some local drug dealer who tried to cross Calvin; I guess…I didn’t ask no questions.” Samson had trouble getting a handle on his confession. He didn’t fully prepare for the words to be released in that manner. In his mind, he knew a confession was good for the soul. However, the reality of the matter was that his confession was digging a deeper ditch for his own demise; that he may not have the ability to crawl his way out of alive.
At his words, Charlene jumped up and grabbed him where he sat and violently shook him, “Who? Who did you kill? Not my baby. This is not happening. My son is not a killer. How did you get mixed up with Calvin?” She turned in outrage to Edmond, “Ed, you better fix this. All these years this has been looming over our heads. This man is trying to take from you what he never had. Fix this now!” Her anger was overtaking her. Her entire body trembled. All of it was too much to handle. “If you don’t take care of this, dammit, I will!” She raced over to her purse to retrieve her cell phone to call Debra. She was hysterical. She ravaged through her oversized bag, tossing out items. It seemed as though everything lay in the way. Her plan was to get Debra on the next flight back to Oakland. For such a time as this, she needed her family together.
“Hi Mama. Is something wrong? You don’t sound OK.”
“I am making arrangements for you to come home on the next flight to Oakland. Your father wants to see you. Pack your bags.” She didn’t leave time for an explanation and hung up the phone to look up the next available flight she could purchase to get her daughter back home. When her mother was frantic like that, Debra knew it best to not ask any questions and be obedient. They were in a better place now since patching things up in the hospital and with their newfound friendship; she hoped to keep it that way.
Chapter 14
As soon as my mother rang my phone, I knew something serious had been going on. I could recognize something different in her voice, in her demeanor. First of all, she did not like to spend money when she felt it unnecessary. I wouldn’t go as far to call her and my father cheap, but they were definitely knocking on Cheap’s doorstep trying to mainta
in their lifelong membership. She already made two trips to Riverside, which she made sure to remind me of the duration of her visit. If I had a job, I would purchase the ticket myself to save myself the headache of her tirade. However, I didn’t have a dime to my name, so unfortunately that meant I was at her will.
“Hey Deb. Is everything all right?” My roommate finally decided to make her grand entrance and come home, slinging her bags on the couch and floor, from days of being away.
“Gurrrl if you only knew,” I replied placing the phone down to give her my undivided attention. In addition to working, she had spent some time at her boyfriend’s house because it was closer to her job and quite frankly she wanted to be close to him and I couldn’t blame her. He had his own place and money to take care of both of them. Who would turn that down?
“I’m sorry I have been M.I.A., but you know how it goes. I had to see my beau,” she smiled and did a quick white girl version of the back roll dance to let me know just how she had been getting down while she was away. “I did get your messages, tell me what happened.” She scurried over to the other side of the couch and plopped down on a pillow since her luggage occupied the last available space on the opposite end. “Spit it out…what happened? Are you ok?” nudging me to get answers.
I knew the stream of questions would begin. Sarah Wiseman prided herself on being inquisitive and she would not stop until I answered. “You remember when you talked me into taking the pregnancy test?” Her eyes were glued on me as she listened.
“Yes, girl, yes…Are you preggo?” She leaned in and placed her hand on my leg, insisting that I answer as quickly as possible; the anticipation was killing her.
“Well….” I paused a moment for intensity. Plus, she failed to respond to my messages, so she obviously had been too preoccupied to find out sooner. I made her wait. I needed her to suffer a little bit.
“Are you pregnant or not? Did you get the plus or the minus?” Her impatience had escalated to the next level of already being too anxious.
“Well…I was.”
“What do you mean, you was?” She mimicked the exact words I used with uncertainty of where this conversation was going.
“The night I called you…I had a miscarriage.” She gasped when the words released from my lips. “I was rushed to the hospital because I was having pains and bleeding.”
She interrupted yet again, “Are you ok? Well I see you are ok, but what happened? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here when you needed me.” She began to panic. She rose from her seat and wrapped her arms around me, hugging my waist and apologizing profusely.
I couldn’t help the feeling that came over me. Tears emerged without warning. I realized that I had not dealt with the pain from losing the baby. I had not really given it too much thought with everything that happened with my mother and father. Through sobs, I managed to respond to her, “No. I’m not all right. I lost my baby Sarah! I barely knew I was pregnant and just like that, I lost my baby.” She sensed I was having a hard time dealing with it. Beyond the tears, she connected with my abandonment.
“I’m a terrible friend. I wasn’t here for you! I’m sorry!” Sarah couldn’t help herself. She cried with me. She cleared her throat and wiped the lingering tear off her cheek, “I hate to spring this on you now considering the situation, but I’m moving out.” Her statement caught me off-guard. I felt as though we hadn’t yet finished our talk. It was my moment of mourning and she was off to the races onto a new topic of interest.
“Moving out? What do you mean? The school year just started. Where are you going?”
“I’m moving in with my boyfriend. We are going to get married.”
“Married?” I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. She had just made nineteen years of age and marriage didn’t seem logical since she had just begun her studies. I understood though, she was young and in love, at least for the moment. Her father did not tolerate her dating, just like my dad. She waited until she went away to college to even inform her parents that she had a boyfriend. They had been dating since middle school. It pained her to have to keep it a secret from them for so long, but she had no other choice.
“I think it is time. He told me he loved me and didn’t want to live without me. He doesn’t have the money right now for a ring, but we will just live together until our finances are all the way right. It’s enough for me that he is keeping a steady shelter over my head.”
“Sarah, do you hear yourself? You are not ready for this. Granted, he gets money from his parents, but you don’t know the first thing about being on your own.”
“And I guess because you are so experienced in life, you have all the answers? Huh? You don’t know. He loves me!” She demanded in an attempt to convince me, but more importantly herself.
“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea; I just don’t want you to get hurt moving too fast. Men can be wishy-washy. One day, he might wake up and not want you anymore; then you are left to pick up all the broken pieces of your heart that he let shatter right before your eyes.”
“That would never happen with Brad. He loves me and we are getting married.” Her face reddened and silent tears rolled down her face. I couldn’t help, but sense that something more was going on. She buried her head in her hands. “I don’t have any other choice. I have Herpes. I got it from him. No one else will ever want me or him for that matter, so we decided to stay together and get married and work through it.”
“Are you crazy? That is the dumbest reason for getting married.” I hated to have to be so blunt with her, but I couldn’t stand her sequence of thought.
“What else am I supposed to do? I really do love him,” she cried out in desperation. The side arm of the chair now soaked with her tears. “My life is falling apart. And it’s all my fault.”
The conversation took a U-turn right under my nose and became about her and her situation. I thought that she wanted to console me and help me through my predicament, but I was wrong. She needed my shoulder just as much as I needed hers. The tragedy before us left us both lost and confused. I had no words for her, how could I? I recently learned that my mother willingly played the role as the side chick and my father had been deliberately unfaithful. My judgment was flawed. I should be right along with her throwing myself a pity-party. I lost a baby, but with everything occurring, I still saw it as a blessing in disguise. I truly believe the Good Lord was shielding me from hurt that I had yet to experience.
“Sarah,” I hesitated, “I don’t know what to tell you. Believe me I am in no place to pass judgment. I’m scared for you, for me. Just make sure you are ready. Call your father and tell him. I know it will break his heart to find out later.” It was almost like my words fell on deaf ears, she just stared back at me with dismay.
My cell chimed with a text notification.
Flight time 6:55am on Southwest at Ontario International Airport
My mother did just as she said she would. I hurried and threw all I could find into a suitcase so I could call a cab and make it to the airport on time for the flight. It was clear that I was not going to get much sleep tonight. I felt bad having to leave Sarah alone after she confided in me about her situation, but she was a big girl and could handle it. Besides, she had not been there for me and had the audacity to leave me with the lease. I felt as though she had no intention in staying if I really needed her to do so.
After throwing all the unnecessary items in my suitcase, it became time for my grand exit. “I’m going home for a few days. We can handle the lease when I return. You are set until the end of the quarter anyway since you paid it in full already.”
Sarah didn’t move. Her face concealed in the pillow on the floor. I had only been out of the room an hour at the most packing up my life for my departure. She remained motionless. I crept up beside her and placed my foot beneath her stomach area to nudge her a bit. “Sarah get up, stop playing. It’s not that serious. They have cures and medication for all that now. Back in t
he day, it was a plague; but now unfortunately it’s common,” I joked just in case she was still feeling uptight about everything disclosed earlier. She didn’t respond, almost like she planned to ignore me when I came in the room.
“Sarah!” I became furious. Who would play this type of game? I had not known her to be a jokester, but I had not known her at all. We had recently met with the start of school and most of the time she had been away at work or with her boyfriend. I really didn’t even know where she worked. She told me of course, but through all the chaos, it slipped my mind.
I stooped down beside her to flip her over with my hands since; it was beyond a joking situation. It took everything in me to hurl her body over to her back. Her body weighed much more than I imagined upon first glance. A faint hue of grayish-blue veiled her face. She no longer possessed her normal coloration. I fell backward and gasped for air—for the both of us. Her face seemed bloated. She did not take a breath. My initial thought was she was dead. I noticed the half-empty bottle of Xanax pills wrapped in her fingers, then I knew she was dead. I wanted to run. In all the movies I watched, when you stayed at the scene you could be a potential suspect in the murder.
Beyond the Hurt Page 14
