We walk into her room, and I look at her lying on that bed. She looks so gray and pale. I hear them talking, but I can’t make out the words, it’s just fuzziness in my ears as I continue to stare at her. I watch as her eyes open, and she stares at Sam, she talks to him, and I watch a grown man break. All that pent-up worry and anger turn to relief and he buries his head into her hair, and his shoulders start to shake.
She’s okay so I leave her room, knowing that if I were Sam, I wouldn’t want anyone in the room with me. As I leave I see Morgan in the waiting room, I walk over to her, and she smiles at me.
“How is she?” She asks as soon as I get to her.
“She’s awake and alert, that’s the main thing, we will see how she is mentally after. She’s been through so much already, and she’s so strong. But there is only so much someone can take.” I ramble, even though I’ve seen her and I see she’s alive and well I haven’t actually spoken to her.
“She will get through this Luke; she’s got all of you to help her.” I take a seat, and she sits beside me.
“What are you doing in here Morgan?”
“I need to talk to Winter, but I wanted her family to see her first, I’ll be going in now.” As she says that, Soph and Ryder come through the doors. I look around and realize that Dad and Scott followed me out, I didn’t even hear them.
“Now the others have seen her, I’ll talk to her then I’ll leave them alone.” I watch as she steels herself, she’s getting ready for a battle.
She kisses my cheek and murmurs. “See you at home.” She tells me as she stands and walks through the door.
I turn to Soph who is staring at me. “I’m going to go to the hotel and get some clothes for her.” She nods at me and whispers something to Nathan.
I walk over to Dad who is on the other side of the room and on his phone, he looks at me and tells whoever is to hold on.
“Dad, I’m going to the hotel to get Wints some clothes. I won’t be long.” He nods and carries on talking, I’m pretty sure he says the name, Fiona. I walk out of the waiting room and out of the hospital. I make it to my car when I hear footsteps behind me.
“Luke, hold up.” I stop and wait for Nathan to catch up to me.
“Look, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean it.” He looks sheepishly at me, and I wonder if it was Soph that sent him over to me?
“Fine, I’ve to go.” I turn around and start walking to my car, there is no way he means that, right at this moment I don’t give a shit if he does or doesn’t. I just want to get Winter some clothes, then go home and sink into Morgan and forget this day ever happened.
“Look, man, I honestly didn’t mean it. Soph doesn’t know about the conversation we had. If she did she’d kick my ass, you know that. I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. I was out of line, and I’m sorry.” I turn around and look at him. He looks remorseful, he also looks like shit.
“It’s fine, honestly. Emotions are running high, I get it.” He nods and looks grateful.
“I’m going to go, I’ll be back later.” I turn to walk, then stop.
“Hey, Nathan?” I call out to him.
He stops walking away and turns to face me. “Yeah?”
“Will you do me a favor?” He doesn’t say anything, just waits for me to continue.
“Will you keep an eye on Morgan? The way Sam is treating her, I want to punch him everytime he talks to her.” He starts laughing.
“Your right, if he spoke to Soph the way he has Morgan, I’d have punched him. Although, I have no doubt that your woman can take care of herself.”
“She can, but that’s not the point, I’ll be back in a while.” He nods his head, smiling as he turns and walks off. I walk back to my car, hoping Morgan will be finished soon.
Chapter Eleven
Morgan
Thank god today’s over and done with. I’m so glad that Winter is okay and on the mend. I know that Sam was just ranting because he was scared and worried about her, but what he said resonated with me. He may not have meant what he said, that it was my fault that Winter was kidnapped and hurt. But it’s what I think. If only I had gotten to the apartment earlier yesterday, we may have been able to apprehend her rapist.
The man had been stalking and tormenting her since he raped her a few years ago. I hate that he got away with it for so long. I don’t understand how anyone could do that to another human being. I’ve been a detective for Major crimes for a while now. I’ve seen some of the most horrendous things in this line of work that haunt my dreams and my thoughts constantly
I know that I’m doing good, taking these people, these evil people of the streets. That they can’t hurt anyone else, but to know that as many as I put behind bars, there are so much more out there. Those days are the roughest. Those are the days I just want to give up. I don’t want to watch women and men break because their loved one are brutally attacked, or even murdered.
I walk into my bathroom to run the bath, hoping to ease the tension in my body and wash the day away. I put one of those bath bombs Sim bought me for Christmas and watch as it fizzes and its bubbles spread throughout the tub. I turn and walk into my bedroom and get my robe that’s hanging on the back of the bedroom door. I get undressed and put on the robe, I love the soft fabric against my skin. I sit on the bed and sigh. I need to call my Dad, but I hate the way I feel after I speak to him. It’s why I only talk to him a few times a year. It brings me back to my teenage years, and that is a place I don’t want to be.
I pick my cell off the nightstand and take a deep breath. I pull up my Dad’s name and hit call.
“Hello?” His rough baritone voice hits me full blast, and I realize he sounds old and fragile. The drink is finally taken its toll on him, I knew this day would come. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.
“Happy Birthday Daddy,” I say with as much enthusiasm as I can. Calling him daddy is something I’ve always done, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.
Calling him that reminds me of the happier times. I hate the way I have to fake being happy when I call him, I find it hard to keep up pretenses the longer the call lasts.
“Thanks, Morgan. How are you?” He asks and starts to cough. It makes me cringe as I can hear the phlegm come up as he does so.
“I’m good Daddy, just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday, before I went into work.” I’m lying, but I have too. If I didn’t, he’d be on the phone forever. Not saying much. He feels bad for the way things played out. He's never really come out and said sorry, but I know that he is, he just doesn’t know how to express himself.
I’m still angry, and I don’t know how I will let go of the hurt and anger. I’ve held onto it for such a long time now, that it’s ingrained in me.
“You didn’t have to do that Morgan. I know how busy you are.” He says it with so much sadness, that tears spring to my eyes. My heart clenches, and I grip the phone tighter.
How is it that he can still elicit this type of emotion from me, after all these years?
“Morgan, I’ve been thinking.” It’s muffled as if he’s moving around, I barely hear it.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I’m curious, to say the least. This isn’t how our normal conversations go.
“I’ve been thinking of coming to visit you. It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” He sounds determined, confident even, I haven’t heard him talk like this in forever.
“Dadd-” I begin to start my protest, but I am cut off very quickly.
“Don’t Morgan, it’s what your mother would have wanted. You know that, and I know that. It’s just taken me a long time to see that.” He sounds so sincere, tears that had gathered in my eyes start falling, and I do nothing to stop them.
This, this right here, this is what I have wanted for a very long time. I just don’t know how to deal with it. I hear him take a deep breath almost as if he’s trying to build up the courage to say something.
“Morgan. I miss my daughter.” He
blurts it out really fast, and his voice breaks on the word daughter.
My breath hitches and I hear the front door open. I know that it’s Luke coming home. “Daddy.” I can’t say anything else. I’m such a mess. I can hear Luke moving around in the kitchen.
“Please don’t cry, Morgan. I don’t deserve your tears. I’ve been a terrible father, and I know that I’m lucky that you are even still in my life.” He believes in what he is saying.
I can’t take it anymore as the tears start streaming down my face really fast.
“It’s okay Daddy! I understand.” I just want him to stop. I can’t deal with this. I feel Luke’s presence in the room, and I look up at him standing in the doorway.
His face is etched with concern. He walks over to the bed and sits down. He takes my hand in his and squeezes, it’s reassuring, and he’s letting me know that he’s here for me. My heart swells at this action, and I can’t help but fall a little harder for this man. I lean my head toward him and rest my head on his shoulder. He leans down and kisses my forehead, the feel of his soft, cold lips touching my forehead make me press against him even harder.
“It’s not okay Morgan, and it never was. I’m going to let you go, and I’ll be in touch so we can arrange a date for me to come to you. It’s going to take a while, I know that, but I would really like to have a relationship with you. One that we should have had from the very beginning. Well, that is if you will let me?” He sounded so unsure of himself, and I hate that he expects that I will reject him.
I haven’t been able to stop crying, it’s like a switch that someone has forgotten to turn off. I need to come to terms with what he is saying, I don’t want to reject him, as this is what I have wanted since Mom died, but at the same time, it’s hard knowing he wasn’t there for me when I needed him the most. I need time, so I do something I hope I don’t regret, I end this conversation.
“Of course, I’ll let you. Call me soon, and we will sort it out okay?”
Luke again leans down and kisses my forehead. I can’t help but give him a little more of my weight as I lean deeper into him. He reaches around and places his arm around my shoulder, providing me even more comfort and security. I feel safe.
“That’s made an old fool happy. It’s been the best birthday I’ve had in almost two decades. I don’t know how I got so lucky with you. You are definitely your Mother’s daughter, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. I’ll call you soon Morgan.” He sounds happier then he coughs again, and I hold my cell away from my ear, still hearing the coughing down the line.
“I won’t leave it long Morgan. I promise.”
I used to hate the words I promise coming out of his mouth, but today I find solace in them. I also believe that he won’t leave it long to call me again.
“Okay, Daddy. I’ll talk to you soon. Look after yourself and go and see the doctor, that cough doesn’t sound too healthy. I’m happy that you’ve had a good day. It’s been a long time coming.”
I’m mothering him, and I hate it. It’s easy to fall into old habits; I’m hoping that this is the start of something I’ve only dreamed about.
“I already spoke to the doctor, I have an appointment for tomorrow morning. Goodbye Morgan, I’ll see you soon.” He sounds lighter than he did when he answered the phone.
“Bye Daddy. Talk to you soon.” I end the call and just stay where I am thinking about what just happened. I know that Luke will want answers, I owe him them, but right now isn’t the time. I need to process what just happened.
I pull away from Luke, and I look up into his face and see so much worry in his eyes. He reaches up and uses his thumbs to wipe away my ever so present tears. I lean into his touch, grateful that he is here with me. His thumbs come down to my cheeks, and he strokes gently. Not saying anything, his touch is comforting me more than any words ever could.
I pull slightly back and kiss the pad of his thumb gently. This right here, this is what I’ve always wanted. A relationship that doesn’t need words. Just love.
“You okay? I hate that you’re crying and so upset. I don’t know what to do to help.” Luke sounds so dejected. I hate it.
“What do you need from me, Morgan?” He leans forward and gently kisses my lips.
I smiled weakly up at him. “Luke, just being here is helping. You are comforting me, and that is all I need at the moment.” I take his hand and squeeze, hoping to comfort him in return.
“Why are you so upset? If I knew, then maybe I could help.” There is a pleading to his tone. He needs to know.
“I promise I’ll tell you. I was going to take a bath, I didn’t expect the call to last so long. As soon as I come out of the bath, I’ll tell you all about my family and why that call had me so upset.”
Maybe I should wait to have a bath? Talking about my family is only going to set me off again.
“Okay, you go and relax, I’ll order dinner, and then we can talk.” His tone brokers no argument. He rises from the bed and reaches down for my hand and pulls me up on my feet. He escorts me to my bath.
He’s so thoughtful, I probably sound mad, thinking that is thoughtful. But to me, the smallest gestures mean the absolute world to me.
He faces me and kisses me gently again. “Go have your bath and relax. Okay.” I nod at him as I’m completely lost for words. I watch as he leaves the room, looking once more over his shoulder as he reaches the doorway, checking that I’m okay.
I strip out of my robe and get into the bath, glad that I only put in boiling hot water as it’s still hot. I sink into the water and close my eyes. Hoping to forget about the crappy day I’ve had.
***
Luke’s waiting for me with dinner when I finally make it out of the bath. I’m not looking forward to this conversation, but I know that it’s what I have to do. Luke was so forthcoming about his family and what happened with that bitch Alex, that I feel bad I haven’t told him about my family yet. Talking about my Mom is going to make me cry, I still haven’t gotten over her death, and I don’t think I ever will. There is a glass of wine on the table and Lasagna and French fries, I don’t know where he got this from, it looks homemade.
I sit on the sofa and look at Luke, he must know what I’m about to ask as he answers the question before I even open my mouth.
“Winter called me earlier on today and invited us to dinner, I accepted. Stop, before you get mad, Sam was the one cooking as he wanted to apologize to everyone for the way he treated them when Winter was kidnapped. That apology included you. He feels terrible for the way he spoke to you. So, I called Winter when you had your bath and told her we couldn’t come. Winter being Winter didn’t want us to not have food, she sent Dad here with the food.” He has such a huge smile on his face, his family sound amazing.
“Wow, that is so nice. Honestly, Sam has no need to apologize. What he went through, he reacted the only way he could. He was scared, he didn’t know where Winter was or what was happening, and he lashed out. I don’t blame him, put yourself in his shoes Luke, what would you have done?”
I will never want an apology from him. Yeah, he was rude, but so would I have been if it were me. So, I can’t be a hypocrite and expect him to apologize when I wouldn’t.
The smell of this food is making my stomach rumble, I dig in and can’t stop the moan that escapes, I look to Luke to find him looking at me whilst taking a bite too.
“It’s good, right? You’re right by the way. How is it, you don’t even know him, yet you get him completely? How do you make so much sense?” I know he’s teasing me, by the glint in his eye and the fact that he’s trying not to laugh.
“Because I’m amazing.” He laughs as I expect him too. This is the time while we are both calm and relaxed, well him more so than me.
It’s time to tell him about my family. “My Mom Rebecca died when I was twelve. Her death is the reason I wanted to become a cop.” The tears are back, but this time I’m determined not to let them fall. I want to get through this conversation withou
t crying.
I notice that Luke sat up a little straighter when I told him that my Mom died.
“She was walking home when a car struck her. She died on impact.” I probably sound really cold the way I said it, but I need to say it like that just so I’m able to say it. If I let myself feel anything while talking about it, I’d fall apart.
“I’m sorry Morgan, I know how hard it is to lose a mother, but to lose one at such a young age and so suddenly, it must have been so hard. What happened to the driver?”
“It was a hit and run, the driver was never found. Witnesses say it was a four-door black Sedan. No-one could give a good enough description of the driver and no-one got the license plate. There wasn’t much for the police to go on so the case went cold and the driver got away with murder.” I can’t do anything to stop the tears from falling; you would think that after eighteen years, I’d be able to tell the story without crying.
Luke, moves from the armchair to sit beside me on the sofa, just being this close offers comfort, we’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, just the minimalist touch can offer the greatest comfort.
“I don’t know what to say because nothing I can say will change what has happened and sorry isn’t enough. But I’m truly sorry that you have had to deal with such tragedy.” His voice sounds hoarse, I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and see his eyes are closed; his handsome face is etched with worry and sadness.
“It was hard learning to cope with the grief. I honestly don’t know how I would’ve coped if it wasn’t for Sabine and her Mom, Agnishika. They were my rock. They still are, I practically lived in their house after Mom died. I love them so much.” Just thinking of Sabine and Agnishika make me smile and fills my heart with so much warmth.
“What about your father? Obviously, he’s still alive, but you told me before that Sabine, and her mom are your only family.” He sounds as if he’s judging me for saying that.
Deadly Past (Deadly Series Book 3) Page 10
