by Daphne Barak
I repeat what I said to her in the early hours, before I left her villa. To make it big on the 8 May.
But now Amy is on the defence: ‘I AM BIG!’ she cries.
‘Great,’ I say, adding, ‘Go and make everybody in the audience fall in love with you.’
‘But they are!’ Amy replies, immediately. ‘Everybody is. I know it. When [I] go on stage, I feel it.’
She hugs Erbil goodbye and he wishes Amy good luck, in turn, but she doesn’t like this either and tells him, ‘I don’t need luck. …’
As we leave, Amy says to me, ‘Daphne, I love you. I really love you. I really love this girl ….’
We bump into Amy again, a little while later, outside. This time she is even sweeter. She hugs me again and says simply, ‘Let me walk with you and wait for the car.’
Just a few days later Janis flies to St Lucia, just before the jazz festival, to be with her daughter. She has her new boyfriend in tow. Mitch has already told me about him, when I commented on how lonely Janis seems. He says, ‘Not any more’, and proceeds to tell me that Janis has got together with one of his oldest friends over Passover. He says, ‘Amy will have a fit. She has known him since she was a kid.’
I tell him, ‘It is not Amy’s life. It is Janis’s life.’
When I ask if Amy knows, Mitch tells me that Janis is going to break it to Amy in May, just before the festival. Mitch is worried about how she will react to the news.
It is Janis’s decision to come out and I ask Mitch if he thinks it’s the right time. He says, ‘Daphne, I don’t know. Janis’s relationship with Amy is very strange. I cannot tell Janis what to do and when to come.’
I can see the irritation in his face as he says this. Again, it is difficult to judge him because he has been living with the situation, even though he knows it will just add tension and stress to Amy, who is dealing with the expectation of her comeback. On the other hand he has to do something about it, surely? He is Amy’s father. Why can’t he just say to Janis: ‘This is not a good time for you to come and to introduce your new boyfriend NOW! Amy is not as good as I am telling people. Why don’t you do it after the gig?’ Or, ‘This is not the time for her to feel guilty that she doesn’t have the time to spend with you. It will just put pressure on her.’ But he doesn’t.
And, for some reason, while Janis is able to talk to me and Amy is able to talk to me, these two people – mother and daughter – just can’t communicate with each other in a warm, straightforward manner.
Don’t get me wrong, they talk to each other – but they just don’t express what they feel.
After Amy goes on stage on the 8th, I receive countless messages on my phone saying it is her worst performance ever. I had seen it coming – anyone’s dog could have seen it coming – but Mitch couldn’t.
Before Amy went on stage I tell Mitch that Amy shouldn’t perform, ‘If you let her go on stage, the pictures will be worse than those of her crawling around like a horse.’ Mitch has explained that the January photographs of Amy allegedly begging for alcohol on all fours were merely his daughter playing ‘horse’.
‘Moreover,’ I add, ‘it will humiliate her and it will ruin her career for years.’
I am also thinking, why on earth, would you put your frightened daughter on that stage?
He informs me that Raye, Amy’s manager, is over in St Lucia and that he’s seen her and that everything is OK.
But Amy’s manager is not you, I think. He’s not Amy’s father. Why, on earth, is Mitch letting a manager choose what’s best for his own daughter?
On the day of the festival, Amy had reportedly started drinking at 11.00 a.m. Afterwards Mitch comments, ‘… Now, it’s alcohol.’
some unholy war
Amy flies back to Britain on 12 July 2009 to deal with her marriage and also to face charges of assault. She bursts into tears at Gatwick Airport as she comes through security. The final break from Blake comes on Thursday, 16 July 2009 at the High Court in London. Two years, one jail term, numerous rehab attempts and one front-page scandal after another and the Winehouse–Fielder-Civil union is officially history. Or is it?
I recall Mitch saying to me in London that it is difficult to know what kind of influence Blake has over Amy. ‘He certainly has a power … but by Amy’s own admission he is extremely manipulative and extremely controlling. So, he is able to influence her, … not only her but other people as well, … in ways that you and I can’t imagine.’
I also remember being with Mitch in St Lucia, just before I flew back. We had had several discussions about Amy and Blake’s possible divorce during our time together, but this time, when it seems a likely event, I point out to Amy’s father, ‘…They can live together even if they are divorced and frankly the forbidden fruit will smell [even] better [to] Amy.’ Mitch agreed at the time, ‘You are right. How do I prevent that?’ The truth is that this is something that even control freak Mitch can’t prevent. If these people are in love and are as co-dependent on each other as they appear, preventing them from seeing each other will just make their relationship all the more appealing.
Sure enough, within weeks of Amy and Blake’s divorce, stories begin to surface about the couple’s continued love for each other, with Blake reportedly declaring in the News of the World that he loves Amy as much as ever and that he knows ‘she still loves me’. This is followed by other stories of ‘secret flirting’ on Facebook, alleged 36-hour love trysts and rumours that Amy and Blake will remarry in 2010.
At the time of writing this, Amy is constantly in the press. Will she and Blake get back together? Are they getting married? Is she still on drugs? Is she still anorexic or bulimic? Will she ever produce another album? The attention and focus on Amy and her life is endless – from her latest hairstyle to her boob job. But, where does that leave Amy? What does the future hold for her? Does she still need saving? Or are her problems over?
Over the time I spent with Mitch, Janis, Jane and Amy, I learned a lot about their family and their relationship to ‘saving Amy’ and how it has impacted on the way they behave with each other. Sometimes, I feel, Amy’s problems are used as an excuse to mask other underlying and undealt-with issues in the family. Certainly this seems to be the case in Mitch and Jane’s relationship, among others.
In the end, I filmed 40 hours of sit-down interviews with regard to Saving Amy, and some of the events and conversations that took place are recorded in this book, but also during the time I spent with the Winehouses, we had several times more that in informal conversations. This allowed my crew and myself to learn lot about Amy and the family. There is, after all, nothing like those personal one-to-one conversations, when you are with someone in a relaxed environment, for allowing one to learn and understand the needs, fears, expectations and other emotions of the people who you are interviewing. Such conversations, over the years, have allowed me a much better understanding of my many celebrity interviewees – entertainers such as Michael Jackson, Eric Clapton and Liza Minnelli, politicians and heads of state such as Hillary Clinton and Nelson Mandela and actors such as Lauren Bacall, Johnny Depp and Mia Farrow.
One of the main things I learned about the Winehouses during that time is that they are not shy of talking to the press. Mitch, the man who informed me in one of our early meetings in London that he would talk about his private life, his family’s private life ‘only once’, has spoken about it many times since.
I experienced this first hand, shortly after we began filming the documentary. The French magazine Closer called to tell me that Janis and Mitch had already spoken to them via TF1, the leading national television station. I was surprised, but when I asked Mitch about it all he said was, ‘Oh, but that was just before we met you. A few days before we met you.’ It seemed odd but I didn’t comment any further on his behaviour at the time. Then, the matter arose months later in March 2009, when Mitch was with my crew, Bitu and me at the Trader Vic’s bar in London’s Hilton Park Lane hotel. I had had a busy few months n
ot just filming Saving Amy, but also working on my many other exclusives and for the several charities that I host. Mitch suddenly accused me of ignoring him and not paying him enough attention. An interview, published in Closer magazine that week, came up during our subsequent conversation and I commented that none of my other interviewees, be it Michael Jackson’s parents or Liza Minnelli, for example, had ever spoken to the press while I was interviewing them. ‘I don’t understand what we’re doing anymore,’ I told him.
He denied having spoken to the magazine, saying he didn’t even know who Closer was. He continued, ‘You know Daphne, there are some satellites right now, I heard, that can just tape you from above and get what you’re saying.I never talked to anybody!’
Mitch then mentioned that he had been approached by a company who wanted to film him interviewing the families of addicted people. He told me, ‘I said “No. I’m doing things with Daphne.”’
Later, we were astonished to learn that by this time Mitch had already been filming for three months with another company. Fame was that important to him. Now Mitch seems to be getting his 15 minutes of fame. As the Guardian, among other papers, commented in November 2009, ‘Who will play the eponymous hero in 2015’s most hotly anticipated biopic, The Mitch Winehouse Story?’
Once a London cabbie, it now seems the sky’s the limit for Amy’s Dad. The documentary he talked about subsequently aired as My Daughter Amy on Channel 4 in January 2010, which led Amy to Tweet in response: ‘Why don’t my Dad WRITE a SONG when something bothers him instead of going on national tv? An you thought YOUR parents were embarrassing [sic].’
Mitch got a chatshow and had a reported record deal lined up – and he testified at a UK Home Affairs select committee hearing on the cocaine trade, about which he admitted he knew nothing.
As Mitch himself has stated, sometimes he makes situations worse through his actions or words. Certainly this seemed to be the case when he was asked about Amy’s health on UK national television in October 2009. He replied ‘fantastic, fantastic’, but then added ‘And her boobs are great as well’, commenting on Amy’s £35,000 breast enlargement job. Then he saw everyone’s expressions, and added: ‘I shouldn’t have said that, should I? She looks absolutely fantastic’. He did, however, admit that Amy still has a long way to go in terms of her recovery.
‘We’re all recovering,’ he stated.
At the time this begged the question – recovering from what?
So, after all this, what would be the best way to sum up how the Winehouses view Amy and her problems? Perhaps, it is best to leave you with something Mitch said to me during our many conversations:
‘[Amy] is a wonderful person who only thinks about other people. … so in that regard I think to myself I am the luckiest man in the world. Unfortunately, there is another aspect … that she has a problem and in my family we have had situations like this – not with drugs but … when people have been sick – and the way we deal with [them] is not to shun them, not to move away from them but to move closer to them. Not smother them [but just] say “we are here for you” … “we love you” and “we will support you.” And “if there is anything that we can do for you we are here.”’
In 2010, after I published this book, Amy got in contact with me. She told me that nobody understood her complicated life like I did.
When I asked how she was doing, she was defensive and talked about herself in the third person: ‘People make money [out] of her… Everyone makes money…’.
Amy found it so frustrating and so difficult to cope with the pressure to produce ‘the next record’ that she began to play with the idea that a quick exit would keep her name and music alive for ever. I tried to argue with her about this at the time, but, sadly, events have since proved that she was right.
On Saturday 23 July 2011, shortly after 4p.m. British time, the news began to filter through that the police had been called to an address in Camden Square, London NW1, following reports that a woman had been found dead there. Within a very short time the BBC and other British media were announcing that the deceased woman had been identified as the singer Amy Winehouse.
As the crowds gathered outside the musician’s home, the overriding feeling was one of shock. Then the tributes came rolling in – through Twitter, Facebook, on blog sites, through every form of media:
‘She was my musical soulmate and like a sister to me. This is one of the saddest days of my life,’ said Mark Ronson.
Frank and Back to Black producer Salaam Remi wrote, ‘Very Very Sad Day. Just lost a Great Friend and a Sister.’
Friend Kelly Osborne tweeted, ‘i cant even breath right now im crying so hard i just lost 1 of my best friends. i love you forever Amy & will never forget the real you!’
Singer Lily Allen wrote, ‘She was such a lost soul, may she rest in peace.’
Comedian Russell Brand called Amy a ‘genius’, adding that her voice ‘was filled with such power and pain that it was at once entirely human yet laced with the divine.’
Lady Gaga tweeted, ‘I remember knowing there was hope, and feeling not alone because of her.’ And singer Adele added, ‘Although I’m incredibly sad about Amy passing I’m also reminded of how immensely proud of her I am, and grateful to be inspired by her.’
On Tuesday 26 July, the Winehouse family gathered at Edgwarebury Cemetery in North London, where they held a private funeral for Amy. Hundreds gathered outside. The service was held in English and Hebrew and ended with Amy’s favourite song, ‘So Far Away’ by Carole King.
Amy’s father, Mitch, gave a eulogy. His last words were: ‘Goodnight, my angel. Sleep tight. Mummy and Daddy love you ever so much.’
notes
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?
1 Albert Gardens, near Commercial Road, London E1, in modern Tower Hamlets.
2 Charismatic leader of the British Union of Fascists (BUF), Sir Oswald Mosley led a march of his black shirt followers through Stepney, one of the largest Jewish communities in England at the time, on 4 October 1936, despite petitions to stop it as the black shirts had been terrorizing local Jews there for months. More than 250,000 east enders took to the streets to protest, resulting in the so-called Battle of Cable Street.
3 Classes to teach children about Judaism.
4 One of the leading performance art schools in London, named after its founder and principal Sylvia Young; former pupils include musician Emma Bunton (the Spice Girls).
5 Susi Earnshaw Theatre School in Barnet, North London.
6 Founded in 1959 by music maverick Chris Blackwell, Island Records quickly established itself as the label of choice with its diverse stable of artists. Its stable included everyone who was anyone in music – from Bob Marley, King Crimson, Jethro Tull, Nick Drake, Fairport Convention, Cat Stevens and Roxy Music to Robert Palmer, Grace Jones, U2, Pulp, PJ Harvey, DJ Shadow, Portishead, Free, Keane, Mika and Jack Johnson, to name but a few.
What Is It About Men
1 Tricky is an English rapper, musician and producer central to the trip-hop (a style of dance music, also known as the ‘Bristol Sound’ as it began there, played on electronic instruments and with a slow beat).
2 Salaam Remi had worked with the best-selling band The Fugees and also with Nas, an influential American rapper who Amy had been listening to a lot at the time.
3 ‘Stronger Than Me’ in the line ‘Feel like a lady, but you my lady boy’.
4 Irving Berlin (1888–1989) was one of America’s most influential composers.
You Know I’m No Good
1 Singer, actor and performer Charlotte Church hosts a self-titled show on Britain’s Channel 4, featuring sketches, live performances from guests and by herself and also interviews with celebrities, such as Amy Winehouse.
Alcoholic Logic
1 ‘Help Yourself’, Frank – ‘I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself; I can’t help you, if you don’t help yourself’.
discography
Album releases [title, r
elease date, record company]
Frank 20/10/2003 Island Records
Back To Black 13/03/2007 Island Records
Back To Black (deluxe edition – bonus disc) 12/11/2007 Island Records
Frank (deluxe edition – bonus disc) 15/05/2008 Universal
DVD
I Told You I Was Trouble 06/10/2008 Island Records
Singles
2003
‘Stronger than me’ UK chart 71
‘Take the Box’ UK chart 57
2004
‘In my Bed/You Sent me Flying’ UK chart 60
‘Fuck Me Pumps/Help Yourself’ UK chart 65
2006
‘Rehab’ UK chart 7/US chart 9
‘You Know I’m No Good’ UK chart 18/US 77
‘Back to Black’ UK chart 25
‘Tears Dry on Their Own’ UK chart 16
‘Love Is A Losing Game’ UK chart 46
As a featured artist [song, album, artist, chart position]
2007
‘Valerie’ (Versions, Mark Ronson) UK chart 2
‘B Boy Baby’ (Mutya Buena) UK chart 73
Other featured appearances [song, artist, album]
2004
‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?’, Soundtrack, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
2005
‘Best For Me’, Tyler James, The Unlikely Lad
2006
‘You Know I’m No Good’ [remix], Ghostface Killah, More Fish
2007
‘Cupid’, Radio 1 Established 1967
2008
‘Fools Gold’, Sex and the City:Vol 2, More Music
2009
‘Classics’, Rhythms Del Mundo
