The Imperfection of Swans

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The Imperfection of Swans Page 6

by Brandon Witt


  THE CHRISTMAS lights up and down Tremont made waiting in the freezing cold somewhat more bearable. With the holiday a little more than a week away, Casper felt like the universe was giving him the biggest Christmas present of all time. Removing a glove, he placed his hand on the front door, as if feeling for a heartbeat. He swore he could almost sense one.

  A part of his mind warned about counting chickens and carts before horses, but that voice was easy to push aside. This was right. He could feel it. And, honestly, even if it weren’t, he was already set on the idea. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours, and the change had already happened. Trying to get through his shift at Savor, he felt like he was in someone else’s house. He didn’t belong there anymore. When he received Kevin’s voice mail asking if he’d like to see inside the building, Casper didn’t wait more than a moment before feigning sudden sickness and dashing out the door. It didn’t matter if anyone believed him or not. He was realistic enough to know that somehow the whole thing might fall through. Kevin might change his mind about having another business in his store, or not get the loan. If that happened, Casper would go it on his own. Sure, it wouldn’t be in a historic brownstone, but the time had come.

  He stroked the copper-green façade lovingly. It wasn’t going to be an issue. He belonged to this place. He just did.

  A labored breath sounded behind him. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

  Casper turned to see Kevin jogging the last few feet toward him.

  “I was doing cardio when I got your text. I didn’t think about you leaving right then.” He wiped at the sweat on his forehead. “I had to get at least another twenty minutes in.”

  It took a few seconds for Casper to respond. Kevin was even more attractive than the night before, though Casper didn’t know how that was possible. But here, bundled up for the weather, cheeks flushed and eyes excited, Kevin positively glowed. Though handsome, there was also a child’s exuberance about him.

  Knock it off. There is no chance for romance here. This is going to be a business relationship, Casper berated himself mentally. Like Kevin would look twice at him, even if there wasn’t the brownstone.

  “Well, let’s go in and get out of this cold.” Kevin stepped past him, reached for the lockbox hanging from the door handle, and tapped in a four-number code.

  “I was wondering about that on the way down. If you haven’t closed on the loan yet, how are we able to get inside?”

  “My mom’s a real-estate agent. She gave me the code.” Sliding the key free, Kevin cringed sheepishly. “Not exactly legal.”

  “Works for me.”

  With two turns of the locks, they were inside.

  Pitch-blackness gave way as Kevin flipped on a switch and illuminated eight lightbulbs that hung at even intervals from the ceiling.

  Casper let out a nearly orgasmic groan. After walking a few more steps into the space, he slowly turned around. The double-level room was nearly palatial. The wall of aged windows that opened out to Tremont was indeed covered in black paper, but it didn’t hinder Casper’s view. He could see it all clearly. The windows would look like the framing of a Christmas card—the lights and streetlamps glowing against the snow, the performing arts complex across the street, expensive and beautiful. He could even make out part of the painted green carved wooden beams that made up the exterior entrance.

  Still moving in a slow circle, Casper took in the rest of the room. The wood floors were scratched and dull but looked to be strong and in good shape. Water stains covered the walls, plaster and drywall crumbling in places, but they seemed structurally sound, as far as a baker could tell, at any rate. The room was empty, save for piles of trash here and there. “This is in a lot better shape than you implied yesterday. This could be gorgeous. Kind of already is. I can totally see a wedding dress store in here.”

  Kevin beamed. “Yeah. It’s going to be beautiful. I’m glad you don’t think it’s too beat-up. It looks pretty bad to me, but nothing compared to what you’ll see next.” He pointed to the copper-hued ceiling.

  Casper followed the motion. “Holy shit. Are those tin ceilings?”

  “Well that wasn’t what I meant, but yes. Although, they’re so tarnished, I’m not sure if it will be more cost effective to repair them or just cover them up with a false ceiling.”

  “Are you—” He cut himself off. Probably not a good idea to ask if the guy were insane. This wasn’t Casper’s building, and he’d soon be renting from this man. You don’t insult the landlord before you’ve even begun. But the idea of getting rid of those ceilings was criminal. “Should we go upstairs?”

  “Yeah, this is where we’ll see if you really want to do this.” Kevin moved to the staircase that ran along the left and partially up the back wall until it disappeared into the next floor. “Luckily, all the stairs appear to be in good condition. They need refinishing, but everything seems sturdy.”

  Casper shook the banister as he walked up behind Kevin, careful to do so without him noticing. Sure enough, the thick mahogany didn’t budge. At the top of the stairs, Kevin flipped another light switch, and it took a few moments for Casper to see the room past the mounds of garbage and disgusting furniture that filled the space. “So… this is where the bakery would be?”

  “Yeah. Told you it was bad.” Kevin had an anxious tone behind his words.

  Casper walked around, stepping over the messes. Once he was able to ignore the filth, his excitement returned, growing even more strongly. The layout was exactly the same footage as the first floor and had a set of three long windows that matched the two sets below. Again, from what he could tell, the floor seemed in decent shape, safe at least. He looked up, and his heart leapt. Tin ceilings! Granted, in worse shape than below, but still. Maybe he could talk Kevin into leaving them alone up here.

  “I love it.”

  Kevin blanched. “Seriously? You’re okay with this?”

  Casper continued to take in the space instead of addressing Kevin directly. “Yeah. The bones are classic, and with a little elbow grease, it will be amazing.” He glanced at Kevin in time to catch the disbelieving expression on his face. “Okay, a lot of elbow grease.” He pushed a mildew-ridden couch a few inches with his foot. The wood floor underneath still looked fine. “You said this was some old lady’s apartment? How did she live like this?”

  “No idea. It’s disgusting.”

  “Did she die up here?”

  Kevin laughed. “Smells like it!”

  He wasn’t sure how he’d missed it. Well, yes, he was, the place was trashed. Over in the far right corner was a horrible refrigerator and oven. “Oh, look at that. Although I guess since she lived up here, that makes sense. I’d wondered how much trouble it was going to be to get the equipment I’ll need installed.”

  Kevin carefully made his way over to the fridge. “You’ll probably hate me for doing this to you.” With an evil grin visible on his face before he covered it with his hand, he opened the door.

  The instant stench nearly caused Casper to gag. “Oh my God, shut it! Shut it!” He quickly covered his own mouth.

  Laughing, Kevin obliged, then hurried across the room, nearly tripping on something sticking out from a pile of garbage.

  Casper took a shallow breath, careful to breathe through his mouth. “At least we know where that smell was coming from.”

  “Yeah, that’s gotta go.”

  “You think?” Casper adjusted his glasses, almost surprised they weren’t fogged over from the stench. “I’m sure we’ll have to update the electric and gas lines, but at least we know the cooking equipment can be up here. Although I’m certain getting them up to code won’t be cheap.”

  “Oh, that’s an expense I hadn’t thought of.” Kevin let out a sigh that was tinged with panic. “I bet that’s a sensation I’d better start getting used to.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll help cover stuff like that, especially when it comes to things for the bakery.”

  “I couldn’t ask you to do th
at, not as a renter.”

  “Actually you probably can. I bet that’s what most businesses do down here. I’d also bet none of these businesses own their buildings. They all rent, and they all have to pay for whatever updates and changes they want on their own.”

  Kevin looked uncomfortable at the idea.

  Casper’s heart sank suddenly. How he’d not thought about it yet was insane, despite his excitement. “However, there is one thing we need to look into before we go further. We’ve got to find out how this place is zoned. Having a bakery here might not be a possibility.”

  “No. We’re good. As soon as I brought up the idea of having you rent this floor, that was the first thing Mom checked on. One of the benefits of opening a business on this street. No worries as long as we get all of our business licenses and pass inspections and such.”

  “Good. That’s awesome.” Again. Fate. All falling into place. The smell was beginning to dissipate, and Casper began to breathe a little easier. “While we’re on that topic, can I ask you a personal question? You can tell me if it’s none of my business.”

  “Sure. Go for it.”

  “I’m certain you’re in a higher position at the ad agency than Brent, but unless you own it, I can’t fathom how you’re buying this place instead of renting. Or are you some type of Boston royalty?”

  “Hardly royalty, but yes, I’m sure I make more than Brent. I’ve been in the business longer than he has and—”

  “Brent’s not actually my boyfriend. We’ve gone on a few dates, if you can call them that, and hook up every once in a while, but definitely not boyfriends. I’m not sure where that came from last night….” Casper’s voice trailed off. He’d not meant to say that.

  Kevin didn’t seem to know what to do with the information either. “Well, that’s fine. Either way. I can’t say I’m surprised. He’s talked about his boyfriend for a while now. I think we were just surprised you existed at all, regardless of how you define it. The idea of Brent actually having a boyfriend….” Kevin’s face flushed. “Sorry, I don’t mean to judge.”

  “I’m the one who brought it up. Sorry.” Casper ran his fingers through his hair, feeling it flop back down. “So, you were saying….”

  “Right. Well, several members of my family are taking out loans and combining with what I’ve saved in order to make a down payment large enough to qualify for the loan. They will all be owners as well.” He paused and looked at Casper as if waiting to see if that was a problem.

  It wasn’t. Casper couldn’t imagine anything that would make him back out now. His mind was already clearing out the trash, buying equipment, and filling the building with the aroma of never-ending cakes.

  “Anyway, as far as why I’m buying, that is the only option with this building. Apparently the lady who created this mess lived here for the past century or two. She left it to some of her family somewhere in the Midwest. They don’t want to mess with renting it, fixing it up, or dealing with taking it over themselves, though it seems crazy to me. Ultimately they’d make a ton more by renting it out than this lump sum from the sale. But I’m glad they are.”

  “You’re really lucky.”

  Kevin flushed at the words.

  Casper rushed to clarify. “That’s not a judgment or criticism. Nor is it anything to be embarrassed by. I’m thrilled you’re giving me the chance to tag along.”

  “I’m glad Monica thought of it. I never would have. Having you here will make the chance of this working even more likely. You renting the place is really going to help.”

  “Speaking of, we’ve not spoken about rent. How much are you thinking?”

  At this, Kevin flushed even deeper. It seemed money was a touchy issue, though Casper wasn’t sure why. “I haven’t really thought about the number, actually.”

  “How about this? Since there’s three levels and I’m using one, how about I pay a third of whatever the mortgage is.”

  “That doesn’t sound fair for you. My level downstairs takes up two levels, as far as space is concerned. Yours is only one. You should really only pay a fourth. And you don’t even know how much the mortgage is.”

  He waved Kevin off. In addition to fate, Casper believed fairness and generosity brought a person more good than expense. “Sounds fair to me, if you’re game.”

  Kevin nodded hesitantly. “I’ll see about getting a contract sometime this week, but won’t ask you to sign it until after the closing.”

  This was really happening. He was going to finally open his own bakery! It seemed unreal, yet totally right. “So, let’s see the top floor.”

  Kevin groaned.

  IT WAS as bad as Kevin had led Casper to believe. It was half the size of the other levels, without the charming copper accents. The ceiling had ancient water damage, and while mostly sturdy, the wood floor looked like it needed to be replaced instead of just refurbished. Every inch was covered in debris. It made the mess on the second floor look like a pristine palace.

  “Wow. This is gross.” Casper looked over the nasty room and out the solitary window. “View is pretty, though.”

  “Yeah, but this is horrid. It’s listed as an apartment. Can you believe it?” Kevin turned back toward the stairs. “Like I said, I think I’ll board this up and focus on the rest of the building. There’s a fairly tall crawl space under the building we can use for storage. It’s better than here, at any rate.”

  Casper followed Kevin to the stairs but then paused after taking only a couple of steps. With a gasp, he turned back to stare at the disgusting “apartment.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.” Tearing his gaze away, Casper continued the descent. In the back of his mind, he could hear the whistling, clacking, and banging of three orchestral students slowly fade into black.

  KEVIN

  THE SIGHT of Scott waiting for him at a table in Starbucks caused Kevin to pause. Luckily, Scott hadn’t noticed him yet. Had Scott gotten prettier in the few days since they’d seen each other? That old anxiety that had lived in his gut every day of their marriage rushed over Kevin. As much as he didn’t want to admit it anymore, Scott was the definition of an Adonis. It had been a source of pride when they’d first gotten together but quickly became a foundation of pressure. Being the equal counterpart to the man was a full-time job, and Kevin never got to the place where he measured up.

  Dammit! He wanted to be mad. To have anger be the only sensation associated with Scott.

  Think of that fucking twink he’d abandoned Kevin for. Think of the divorce. How it had ruined the start of his dream years ago.

  But….

  Here he was now. Making up for that in some ways. Without Scott, no matter how much his family got with all of their second mortgages, Kevin knew the loan would never qualify.

  Granted, he was still angry. Hurt.

  But….

  Ice-blue eyes found him, making Kevin flinch, and he forced his feet to move once more.

  Scott stood as Kevin neared the table.

  Another flinch as Kevin was pulled into Scott’s arms.

  Less claustrophobia this time. A little more quickening of pulse.

  Scott looked down at him as he pulled away. “It’s good to see you.”

  “You too.” Kevin pulled out his chair and sat, then waited for Scott to do the same. “You look stressed.”

  Scott’s lips curved into his trademark smile. “You know me well. More than anyone.”

  Ignoring the implication, Kevin pushed on, beginning to feel nervous for an entirely different reason. “What’s wrong? You didn’t call me down from work just to have coffee.”

  “True.” Scott sighed and pushed his half-eaten plate of coffee cake aside. “Do you want to get a coffee or something?”

  “Come on, I think I’m going to vomit if you don’t get it over with.” He knew, suddenly.

  The antacid he’d taken as he’d left his office wasn’t doing anything, and he could feel bile burning up his throat.


  Another sigh.

  Kevin only remembered one other time when Scott looked nervous. Somehow, Kevin was sure this would be as bad as hearing about Joe the twink ho.

  “We haven’t called Anthony yet. I asked Angie to let me tell you first.” Scott reached out and placed his hand over Kevin’s, giving a squeeze, then holding on. “Anthony’s credit fell through. It looks like there is a lot of unpaid debt from his husband, and since their finances are tied, Anthony doesn’t qualify.”

  “That doesn’t make sense. Anthony would have brought that up. No way he’d have volunteered to help if he thought he wasn’t in good standing.”

  Another squeeze. “I looked into it, more than I probably should have. From the nature of Rick’s debts, I doubt Anthony knows anything about them. And the credit is bad enough, even I can’t justify pushing it through. I can’t say it’s illegal necessarily, but if noticed, it would definitely cost me my job.”

  Kevin pulled out from underneath the warm weight of Scott’s hand. “But we’re set to close in two days. Maybe…. Maybe we can find someone else to become a partner. Donna or Elena might be willing to take on a second. I hate to ask them, but their kids are doing okay….” He truly thought he might throw up at the idea of losing the shop and at the possibility of asking more of his family for money.

  “Actually, even if they are, there’s no way to push their loans quickly enough to be able to close on yours. Granted, we can still do that, but you’d have to amend your contract with the sellers. Maybe they’d be willing, but I’m betting they wouldn’t. I imagine there have been other people who’ve expressed interest to their agent already. That spot is prime. If Renata hadn’t gotten you under contract when she did, that place would be gone.”

  His eyes burned. No, he was not going to cry in front of Scott. Never again. No matter what was happening. “So, that’s it, then.”

  Scott nodded. Reaching out his hand, he wiped under Kevin’s eye with his thumb.

  Apparently he was going to cry in front of Scott once more.

 

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