by Piper Scott
Adrian snorted. “No. He’s… well.”
What was Sterling to him? Telling Gabriel that he’d met with Sterling that night to be his sex slave for the next month was out of the question, but there was no doubt that anyone who cared to could smell their scents on each other.
“He’s kind of my boyfriend. Kind of.” Adrian glanced away from Sterling to meet Gabriel’s eyes, but Gabriel was too busy hiding his face against Adrian’s chest to notice. “He’s nice. He’s not going to hurt you.”
Sterling wouldn’t hurt a fly. If Gabriel had to look out for anyone, it was Adrian—but Adrian didn’t tell him that. Instead, he stroked Gabriel’s hair and kept himself as calm and composed as he could. Gabriel needed support right now, and Adrian refused to deny him what he needed.
“Your boyfriend?” Gabriel drew back from Adrian, startled. “You… and him… really?”
“Really.” Not really, but it was the closest comparison Adrian could draw without oversharing. “He’s okay. And if you ever feel threatened? All you need to do is tell me, and I’ll kick his ass.”
Gabriel sucked in his bottom lip, but he couldn’t hold back his smiles. Light shone in his dead eyes, brilliant for just a second before he dropped his chin and looked away. “He looks nice.”
“He is nice.” Adrian kissed Gabriel’s forehead, then tugged him back into a hug. “And you know what? Everything is going to be nice from here on out. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’ve got you.” Adrian sucked in a breath and rested his forehead against Gabriel’s. After all this time, Gabriel was home.
Gabriel was home.
“…And I’m not letting you go again.”
10
Sterling
Boyfriend.
The word resonated in Sterling’s mind and stuck like a fly to a spiderweb. It twisted and dangled and fought to free itself, but it was no use. Instead, his brain wrapped it up, spinning it over and over until it was so tightly wound that there was no way it would ever escape.
And then, his brain drank it in.
Boyfriend.
He is nice.
Sterling crossed his arms loosely over his chest and continued to stand watch, but no matter how gruff and impartial he wanted to look, he smiled. Internally, he knew that Adrian didn’t mean what he’d said—he was trying to comfort his brother in an incredibly trying time—but on a shallow, surface level, he ignored the truth to encourage the pride he felt.
When was the last time he’d had a boyfriend?
Sterling glanced over his shoulder at Adrian and Gabriel. The two of them were curled up together, Gabriel held safe in Adrian’s arms as Adrian comforted him. Adrian was young, and from the little Sterling saw of him in The Shepherd, he acted his age—but here? Reunited with his family, on familiar grounds, he was a different person.
Older. More mature. Devoted.
The self-absorbed, snarky side of Adrian was gone, and the man who took his place was a man Sterling could see himself staying with. Someone he might—
There was laughter nearby. Sterling cut his thought short and turned his attention toward the noise. The men and women gathered outside the Lowe family home were engaged in lively conversation, and it looked like someone had just cracked a joke.
Irritation, grating like sand beneath his fingernails, soured Sterling’s mood. He found himself shifting his weight from foot to foot to disperse his energy.
It wasn’t a time to crack jokes.
It wasn’t time to laugh.
Pinned by a small swarm of Adrian’s relatives, he’d been briefed on what was happening. Gabriel’s disappearance four years ago, the dissolving state of the family, and now his sudden return in the middle of the night. It was a joyous occasion, but based on the look on Gabriel’s face and the way he clung to Adrian like Adrian was his favorite stuffed animal, more needed to be done. Someone needed to step up and call the police about his return, or at least get Gabriel some kind of medical assistance, but instead, Adrian’s family had turned Gabriel’s return into a grand social event.
It was sickening.
An environment like this wasn’t healthy for anyone, let alone a boy who’d gone through severe trauma. But what were Sterling’s options? He’d come to drop Adrian off, not to change his life.
There was nothing he could do but endure until it was time to go.
“Sterling?” Adrian asked from just behind his shoulder. Sterling hadn’t heard him get up, but when he turned, Adrian was directly behind him. Gabriel had returned to the stoop and was settling back in with his blanket.
Sterling dropped his arms and gave Adrian his full attention. Gabriel wasn’t the only one who needed his support—Adrian did, too. All of the small pieces were clicking into place, painting a picture of Adrian that Sterling never would have thought to look for.
A distant family. A huge, empty house. A personal tragedy.
The life Adrian led was privileged, but it was far from happy.
“Yes?”
“Thank you for driving me home.” Adrian nodded in Gabriel’s direction. “I… I need to stay here for a while. I’m sorry that things didn’t really work out the way you wanted them to.”
“I already told you where you stand. You’re welcome to come back to The Shepherd any time.”
“Thanks.” Adrian opened his mouth, but then he closed it again and shook his head. “I just wanted to say that I had fun, and that I don’t hate you.”
“I know.”
“Sometimes I say things I don’t mean.”
“I know.” Sterling wanted to reach out to bridge the space between them, but he stopped himself from following through. There was nothing more between him and Adrian than a single night—a heated affair that had left them both satisfied, but that otherwise lacked substance. It wasn’t his place to step in now. “All I ask is that you watch your behavior while you’re on club property. Remember the rules. If I catch you doing something like that again, I won’t be so lenient the next time.”
Adrian smiled, and when he spoke next, he did so through a subdued laugh. “I know.”
That was it, then. The final goodbye. It was probably for the best—the longer he stayed here, the more involved he’d want to become. There were so many wrongs here, so many worrisome disconnects and red flags that made Sterling want to stay. Issues he’d faced in his youth while his own family fell to pieces were present here, and now that Sterling was on the outside looking in, he recognized them, and he itched to correct them. He’d saved his family as best he could, but now? As an adult with tremendous resources watching someone else go through similar events?
Adrian didn’t have to suffer—not to the extent Sterling had.
“So… thanks.” Adrian hesitated, then took a step forward. His hands sank into the front of Sterling’s shirt, then he pulled himself forward and stole a kiss from Sterling’s lips. It was a delicate thing, and it barely lasted more than a second, but it reignited Sterling’s arousal and made him crave more.
More contact. More intimacy.
More Adrian.
As Adrian drew away, Sterling reached out and wrapped a hand around the back of Adrian’s head. Adrian’s eyes widened, his irises particularly devoid of hue in the moonlight, but when Sterling crushed their lips together and claimed Adrian’s mouth in the way he truly wanted, it didn’t matter. Adrian’s eyes closed. Sterling’s did, too. Their lips met, slow but scorchingly passionate, until Sterling released the back of Adrian’s head and let him step away.
“Go,” Sterling told him. He ran his lower lip against the inside of his upper lip, tasting Adrian there. “Be with him. And if you need someone to be with you, you know where to find me.”
Adrian nodded, mute. His eyes were partially lidded in the dreamy way that made Sterling’s heart soar. One kiss was all it took to drag Adrian back into the moment, and one blissful, meaningful kiss was all it took for Sterling to understand that Adrian wasn’t just another lost soul.
He’d been brok
en by circumstance, but that didn’t mean that he was worthless. In fact, it was the opposite.
All of Adrian’s jagged pieces fit into Sterling’s perfectly.
What they suffered, they suffered together.
Adrian’s gaze flickered to the side, and at last he ducked his head and turned back to be with Gabriel. As their paths split, Sterling took a step back. No matter what he would have preferred, Adrian’s battle didn’t belong to him. It was time for him to go.
As Adrian’s relatives laughed and chatted on the lawn, Sterling sank into the driver’s seat of his Lexus and started the engine. From the corner of his eye, he watched Adrian settle onto the stoop. Gabriel opened up his blanket cape and draped it over Adrian’s shoulder, and they sat in silence together.
Every villain had his story. The foul-tempered, quick-to-anger young man bore more pain than most of The Shepherd’s patrons could handle, and he’d done it for years. It was no wonder why Adrian acted out as he did—if Sterling hadn’t had Clarissa to keep him grounded, he would have turned out the same.
The Lexus backed down the driveway until it was clear of the other parked cars, then made a tight turn. Sterling drove the rest of the way, watching the crowd on the lawn in his rear-view mirror until they were obscured by distance.
A lost sheep had found his way home tonight. A family had been reunited. Another soul had been saved.
But Sterling couldn’t shake the feeling that his jagged pieces had become a bit more jagged now that he’d left their matching half behind.
11
Adrian
Gabriel’s favorite thing in the world was plain saltines. They hadn’t been four years ago, but as he adjusted to the household and started to unwind, Adrian noticed the little things he’d never noticed before—things like how when Gabriel sat on the couch and zoned out to a television program, he kept his knees bent and his legs pressed against his chest, and how his toes curled around the edge of the couch cushion like he was a bird perching on a branch. When he did sleep, he slept lightly. If Adrian so much as opened his bedroom door a crack, Gabriel roused. Sometimes, caught in between deep sleep and wakefulness, he’d call out for someone named Garrison. Adrian closed the door quickly when that happened. He didn’t know what to think of it, and he was too afraid to ask.
Gabriel didn’t elaborate.
The first month after Gabriel came home, Adrian was too busy to focus on the little mysteries, anyway. School was out for the summer, and with their mother in the state she was in and their father more interested in running his company than spending time with his sons, Adrian was the one left to provide for Gabriel.
The first week was spent ferrying Gabriel back and forth from the police station, where the missing person’s case was closed, but little else was done. Gabriel spoke in vague terms about what had happened to him, and when the police asked for more details, he shook his head and ducked his gaze. Sometimes Adrian caught his eye when that happened, and the sorrow on Gabriel’s face destroyed him.
The police gave up, Gabriel was glad, and Adrian tried not to think about the events that had scarred Gabriel so deeply he couldn’t bring himself to speak of them.
On the second week, Adrian sat with Gabriel through clinical visits for routine checkups. Blood was drawn and tested for signs of disease. Gabriel came back negative on all counts. The only service he refused was a rape kit. Adrian liked to think it was because wherever Gabriel had been before, he hadn’t been abused. But the truth in Gabriel’s uncertain gaze and his hunched posture said otherwise.
On the third week, Adrian took Gabriel everywhere he’d loved to go before he vanished. They slurped milkshakes in Adrian’s car while listening to oldies on the radio, and wandered through the park not all that far from the Lowe estate where Adrian had kissed his first boyfriend.
On the fourth week, Adrian prepared himself for the onset of his heat.
On the fifth week, his heat failed to arrive.
Blockers—no matter how effective they claimed to be at curtailing the full-body sweats and crushing arousal heat brought with it—were only temporary relief at best. Even while medicated, when Adrian’s heat struck, he felt it. Frequent, unwanted erections not even the darkest thoughts could chase away were accompanied by some of the worst cravings to be filled and seeded that Adrian had ever weathered. During the days his body was supposed to be achieving peak fertility, he could smell the change in his scent—the sharp, addictive sweetness that broadcast to any alpha present that he was ready to be bred. It never packed the punch that an unmedicated heat did, but it never fully vanished, either.
By the end of the sixth week, his heat still hadn’t arrived.
By week seven, out of his mind with worry, Adrian broke away from Gabriel long enough to take the pregnancy test he’d ordered online with him into the bathroom. Outside of its box, the white, sterile stick was deceptively simple. A single blue line stretched across the center of an oval window, waiting for its partner to appear. The tester strip was capped with clear plastic to keep the test clean until usage.
Adrian set the test down on the toilet lid, then pulled the instructions from the box and unfolded them. Three languages later, Adrian found the English instructions and read the steps carefully. He’d never taken a pregnancy test before, and he was determined to do it right.
The test advertised results in thirty to sixty seconds, accurate as early as the first week after conception. Adrian poked at his flat abdomen and frowned. If he was pregnant, he didn’t feel pregnant. It wasn’t like he was bloated, or tired, or sick—and he was always irritable, so his short temper wasn’t anything new.
Sperm only lived for a maximum of five days in the uterus. He’d read it online from various sources. And it wasn’t like his uterus was all that receptive to sperm, anyway. It was only during the narrow window of his heat that his body opened the passage leading to his reproductive tract.
He hadn’t had sex during his heat.
Hell, the only man he’d ever had unprotected sex with was Sterling.
And it wasn’t like he’d been with anyone else since Gabriel came home.
It was ludicrous to think that he was pregnant. Early heats did happen—even omegas with the most regular schedules could find themselves fertile earlier or later than anticipated under the right circumstances—but the likelihood of that happening was minuscule.
Adrian set the test down on the lid of the toilet tank. A second test rattled around in the box, and for a second, he considered pitching it directly into the garbage. Why was he so worried about being pregnant? If anything, his heat was delayed because of stress. Since Gabriel had come home, Adrian was faced with responsibilities he wasn’t prepared to embrace. Pressure like that was enough to shut his body down.
Right?
But the unused test on the toilet tank taunted him. It worried him. Wouldn’t it be better to have peace of mind? If he was going to throw the tests out, what did it matter if he used one and it came back negative? At least then he could get the notion that he was pregnant out of his head and move on with his life.
Adrian tossed the box onto the ledge of the sink near the taps and picked up the test resting on the top of the toilet tank. He pulled off the clear plastic cover that kept the tester strip sterile, then unceremoniously undid his fly and worked his briefs down far enough that he could take hold of his dick. With a grounding sigh, Adrian lowered the test over the toilet and put it to use. When the tester strip was saturated, he put the plastic cover back on and placed it back on the lid of the toilet tank, finished emptying his bladder, then tugged his pants back into place. While he waited for the test to develop, he washed his hands and worried his hair in the mirror, pushing it this way and that as he tried not to think about the results developing a foot away.
Maybe tonight, after Gabriel was asleep, he’d go to The Shepherd. The last time he’d been was to see Sterling on the night Gabriel had come home, after all. It was time to get back into the scene. He’d
have some drinks, cut loose, meet a man who thought it was kinky he wanted to play at Dom, and the night would unfold from there. The pregnancy test to his right? It didn’t matter. It would come back negative and he’d go on with his life like usual.
There was nothing to worry about.
Adrian pushed his hair to the side one last time, then took a step back and looked at himself from the shoulders up. The more he studied his features, the more confident he became that he was getting upset about nothing. His skin was clear and glowing, like it was before every heat. His eyes were bright, and the dull gray color Adrian hated looked a little more blue than usual, although that might have been because of the color of the shirt he was wearing. Either way, he looked better than usual, and most times, that meant his heat was on its way within the next few days.
Worrying was ridiculous. If anything, worrying was going to delay his heat even more. All he needed was to calm down and get back to himself—and get back to The Shepherd. Staying in his parents’ house was a surefire way to drive himself mad.
A gentle knock stirred Adrian from his thoughts. He recognized the timid sound, and knew it was Gabriel.
“I’m almost done.” Adrian flushed the toilet and shoved the remaining pregnancy test on top of the medicine cabinet behind the fake decorative plant. “Gimme just a second, Gabriel.”
“You’re fine.” Gabriel didn’t sound so sure about it. “Take your time.”
Adrian snatched the test from the toilet lid, and was about to chuck it directly into the garbage when a flash of blue brought him to a sudden stop. Heart pounding, he turned the test around so the result window faced him directly.
A second blue line ran parallel to the control line.
Adrian’s hand trembled. He set the test down on the edge of the sink and ripped the box out from its hiding place. On the back of the box, in easy to understand pictures, was the rundown of what a positive test looked like.
