by Andrea Pyros
Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up.
I kept them squeezed shut during the second act too (“Magic by Margaret”) and third (“CheerUp!”) with what sounded like about eighteen girls on stage yelling. The audience actually applauded for each act—maybe they weren’t giving standing ovations or acting like their lives were forever changed, but at least no one was hurling spitballs or yelling, “BOO!” at anyone. That was promising.
I looked around again. People were having fun. I couldn’t believe how well things were going so far.
The sixth act (“Al Cap ’n’ Ella”) took the stage—three eighth graders who sang “Landslide” with no instruments. They sounded incredible.
Crap.
“Guys, come on!” Tiernan was whispering to us as the audience applauded “Al Cap ’n’ Ella,” and they started to sing another song that I didn’t recognize. “We have to go backstage and get ready.”
We got up and snuck to the side of the auditorium and backstage. I heard a few people whisper behind us as we went. “What are they going to sing?” and “Is that them?”
Them who? Wait, them, us? No way!
Act number seven (“A Poem by Duane”) was introduced, but I couldn’t hear much of what he was saying over the sound of my breathing and beating heart.
“Group hug,” Madison said, pulling everyone closer. We all hugged.
“Go Epis!” Shane said, giving high fives and fist bumps to each of us. We heard applause. Ms. Sherf hurried us along—we grabbed our instruments, with Ethan helping, and Tiernan slung his guitar over his shoulder. We were as ready as we’d ever be.
“Our next act is the band, The EpiPens, singing ‘Cruel to be Kind.’ Welcome, EpiPens! We hope the audience won’t be cruel, but they’ll be kind to you.” Ms. Sherf laughed at her own joke. That was so not how they intro bands at the MTV Music Awards.
The crowd got quiet. The curtain went up. I couldn’t see into the audience at all—not Mom or Dad or anyone.
“Ready?” I said, my voice only trembling a tiny bit, as I turned to make sure my band mates were all set. I clicked my sticks once, but then Tiernan yelled, “Wait!”
I froze.
His guitar strap had come undone, and I saw him struggling to snap it back on. Heidi stepped over to help him, and I heard a few giggles from the audience. Tiernan seemed flustered, and when he said, “Okay, now we’re ready,” his voice cracked a little.
I looked around at them and nodded. My hands were shaking so hard I was worried I wouldn’t be able to drum, but I clicked my sticks four times, and we launched into the song.
I got snippets of music and sound and images—Heidi hitting her notes, Tiernan’s head moving along with his playing, but it all happened so fast I didn’t even have time to think—just drum. And then we were done, and I couldn’t believe it. Had I even had time to breathe once?
There was a moment and then everyone in the auditorium started to applaud, like not the so-so way they did with “CheerUp!” but super loud and excited. The lights came up and I could see people standing and yelling. We’d done it!
One more? Shane mouthed to us, and as the crowd kept clapping, we sang our second song, “Bitter Little Shame Puppet,” by The Flax Seeds.
I admit, the song wasn’t quite as awesome as “Cruel to be Kind,” but it gave Madison an opportunity to do her flute solo. She totally rocked it. When she started playing, people were, like, screaming and stomping their feet and acting like the flute was the coolest thing around. Madison didn’t seem fazed at all by the reaction. She just finished her solo, and we all launched into the final verse.
When it was over and the audience was cheering, we walked off the stage without even taking a bow or turning to acknowledge the crowd, which we’d planned ahead of time, because Shane said it was cooler to “love them and leave them” than to stay and bask in our glory like fame hogs.
Chapter 18
We got backstage, and for a minute, no one said anything. We just stared at each other in shock.
“We killed it,” Shane said finally, breaking into the biggest smile I’d ever seen on his face. “We really did it.”
“GROUP HUG!” Madison shouted again, and we all grabbed each other and held on. I felt like I was having a weird dream. It was over? That was it? I couldn’t believe we’d gotten up there, rocked it, and now all our weeks of practice were done and we could just…well, I wasn’t sure what we could do, but my not waking up with a giant ball of panic in my stomach was certainly top of my list.
“I didn’t throw up!” I shouted, squeezing everyone extra tight. “Yeah, us! You guys were all so amazing.”
Ms. Sherf came up to us. “Listen to your fans,” she said, actually sounding excited. “Great job!”
Then she shooed us back into the audience. “Now, go sit and listen to the rest of the acts and don’t forget to applaud.”
We went back to our seats. The yellow tulips were waiting, perched on top of my jacket, and there was a yellow tulip on the chairs where Madison and Heidi had been sitting before too. Mom must have snuck them down and put them there for us.
Ethan was in the aisle too. He shoved a slightly squished red rose in a plastic wrapper into my hand. It was the most perfect flower ever.
“You were great,” he whispered.
“Is that for me?” I said, as Shane and Madison squeezed in past us. “Thank you.”
Wow.
“Sit down!” we heard someone say behind us, and Ethan and I grabbed the two seats at the end of the aisle. I held onto my flowers on my lap, the rose laying carefully on top of the bouquet of tulips. I felt like a star.
Someone behind us patted me on the shoulder and said, “Good job!”
I turned around. It was an eighth grader I didn’t know.
“Thanks,” I said, beaming.
The final act finished (“Dog Tricks with Almond and Paisley”), and then Principal Fontella was thanking everyone for coming and asking us to please be careful exiting the parking lot.
“Now what?” Tiernan said, turning to us.
“Um, now I go home and pass out for the rest of the weekend. That was intense,” Heidi said, laughing. “I’m exhausted.”
“No way, we’re doing a victory lap. Let’s hit that Halloween party,” Shane said. “My dad can give us a ride; he’s got the van he uses to load his equipment.”
“No, no, no,” Madison said. “I don’t want to hang out with Shelley and Brianna. They’ve been walking around for weeks acting like they invented costume parties. They are going to be unbearable to be around.”
“Yeah, anyway, I don’t have a costume,” Ethan said. “We should skip it.”
So it was officially official. Ethan wasn’t into Shelley. Otherwise he’d definitely want to go to her party. And he gave me a rose.
Could my night get any better?
“I think we should go too,” Tiernan said. “Shane’s right—we deserve a victory lap and it’s either that or go to the diner and order fries. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
“Did everyone get amnesia and forget that I told Brianna off? And that she hasn’t spoken to me since?” I said.
“I’m not going if you’re not,” Ethan said.
“I’m not going if they’re not,” Madison added.
“Come on! It’s the only after party around. We’re going. I can’t go home after a show. It’s epically lame.” Shane even added a pathetic sounding “Please? This is our big night!”
Shane never says please.
Everyone looked at me.
“Stop staring, guys!” I yelled, half laughing.
Mom and Dad and Jackson came through the crowd.
“Thanks for the flower, Mrs. Simmons,” Madison said, hugging my mom. Mom looked surprised—but in a nice way.
“Yeah, Mom, thanks,” I said. I r
eached over to hug her and Dad and even Jackson.
Dad wiped his eyes. Was he crying? Oh, no!
“Dad!”
“I’m fine. I seem to have come down with a slight head cold,” he said, blowing his nose on a tissue. He was lying though.
“That was amazing. The EpiPens were the best of the whole show,” Mom said. She looked proud.
“Right?” Tiernan said. “So, Nina, are you coming with us to that party?”
Mom looked at me. “Whose house? Will their parents be there?”
I shrugged. I knew Shelley must have parents, but she seemed so sophisticated I kind of imagined her living on her own, or maybe she’d hatched fully formed, or been sent by aliens to infiltrate and take over our civilization.
“My dad made me check,” Heidi said. “Shelley’s mother will be there.”
Mom looked at Dad. Dad looked at Mom. Finally, she shrugged.
“Well,” she said. “Do you want to go? We can give you a ride.”
“No, that’s okay. Shane’s dad has a van that fits everyone, right?” I looked to Shane for confirmation. “I mean, if we even decide we’re going.”
I realized, as I was talking, that maybe I did want to go. I wanted Brianna to see that I was fine. And I wasn’t afraid of what she’d say anymore.
And that way the night didn’t have to end. I was in a band that rocked and a boy that I’d liked for what felt like forever, miraculously, seemed to like me back. Who could go home after that?
“Is that okay?” I asked, looking at my parents.
“It’s fine. Call us when you want to get picked up. Before eleven thirty!”
Eleven thirty? Way to make me look cool, Mom.
But all I said was, “Got it, Mom.”
She resisted giving me a second hug. I could tell it took all her willpower though. When my parents and Jackson walked away, I heard Jackson ask, “Could I take drums too?” It was nice that he actually wanted to copy something cool I was doing instead of copying getting attention from a doctor. Hopefully he’d stop talking about weird illnesses now, although that wasn’t likely.
“So we’re doing this?” Shane said. “Awesome. Let me find my dad.”
“I’m not wearing a costume,” Ethan said. “I hate costumes.”
“It’s fine, none of us are,” Madison said.
“Yeah, but you guys look like rock stars,” said Ethan, high-fiving Tiernan.
“Well, you can tell everyone you’re dressed as a roadie, then,” I said.
Like Shelley would care what Ethan was dressed like. She’d never give him a hard time for showing up uncostume-y. I hoped Brianna wouldn’t be mad if I came. Although if she was, I’d just avoid her and hang out with the band.
“You don’t feel weird about coming with us, right, Nina?” Tiernan said, only loud enough for me to hear.
“Not at all, Tiernan. I promise.” And I meant it.
Chapter 19
Shane’s dad dropped us off at Shelley’s house and then took off with a fist out the window, shouting, “Rock on, kids.”
There were a bunch of our classmates there, and when we walked in the door, a ton of people started clapping and yelling. Tiernan was waving to everyone and bowing and acting like a goof, like always.
Shelley came through a swinging door, probably from the kitchen. She had on a black T-shirt and black shorts, and knee-high black boots. Basically, she was dressed up to look hot. The only tipoff she was in an actual costume was the witch hat on her head.
“Oh, hi!” she said, looking a bit surprised at seeing all of us. “Everyone says you guys were really…good.”
“Check it out—they were great,” Ethan said, pulling out his phone. He started the video of us playing, and some people clustered around him to see it.
“That’s cool,” Shelley said, then wandered off, uninterested.
I walked away from Ethan and his phone. I didn’t think I could bear to watch myself so soon—what if we hadn’t been as great as I’d thought, or I’d made stupid drummer faces during the performance and hadn’t realized it? I took a few steps backward, away from the music, almost bumping into someone.
“Oh, hi, Nina.”
It was Brianna, wearing the identical costume to Shelley. Big shock. That was so Brianna’s style—her and her best friend as a team against the world. I couldn’t believe I’d thought that was so great for so many years.
“Um, great party,” I said, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans.
“Yeah, pretty major, right?”
“Yep, totally major.”
She shrugged. “I have kind of more important things to do right now. See you around.”
I watched as Brianna walked away, feeling relieved more than anything else. A few months ago, if there’d been a party, we’d have planned to go together and stayed by each other’s sides the whole time. I probably hadn’t made a decision to go somewhere without her for years. Standing by myself in the middle of a big, loud, crowded room—I felt like I’d accomplished something amazing.
Yeah, I still kind of missed having a best friend, but it was nice having a life I could call my own.
I wasn’t alone for long. Ethan was walking toward me, pushing up the sleeves on his long-sleeved tee.
“Hey,” he said. “People can’t get enough of The EpiPens, see?” He motioned toward Shane, who was showing “Cruel to be Kind” to another group of kids.
“How’s the roadie costume? Anyone guess what you were?”
“Not so much. I won’t be winning any best dressed prizes tonight,” Ethan said.
“Oh, hi, you two!” Shelley said, appearing by our side. She held a cup up close to Ethan’s face, balancing herself perfectly on her super high heels. “You want?”
“What is that?” Ethan said.
“Tiramisu, from a bakery in the city. Like, the best bakery ever.”
“No thanks,” I said. “It looks amazing. But I’m all set.”
Ethan leaned in to me and bumped my shoulder with his. “None for me, either.”
Shelley walked off, as cheerfully as she’d come up, offering the cups to the next group. I’d spent the past two months feeling so mad at Shelley for stealing Brianna away from me and assuming that her flirting with Ethan was some malicious act against me, but now I didn’t feel a speck of anger toward her.
Ethan smiled at me. “What?” I said, feeling self-conscious. I rubbed my nose. Did I have something hanging out of it?
He leaned in closer to me.
What was happening?
Then I wasn’t thinking about Shelley, or The EpiPens, or anything else anymore.
He kissed me quickly on the lips—it kind of landed half on my chin, but I didn’t care. Ethan smelled dreamy—like soap and general awesomeness.
He touched his forehead to mine and looked into my eyes. “Shane is right. Girl drummers rule,” he said.
I started giggling.
“What’s so funny?” Madison said, coming up to us with Heidi and Tiernan.
I didn’t answer. I was too happy to even speak.
I had become someone who had been kissed! And by a guy I liked, not, like, kissed on a dare by someone disgusting.
“Where’s Shane?” Heidi said. “We need the whole band together so we can get a photo.”
“He’s right there, planning on taking over the charts,” Tiernan said, motioning to where Shane stood typing on his cell phone, oblivious to the sea of people around him.
“I can’t believe the night is over,” I said. “I’m still in shock!”
Shane came up to join us.
“Yo,” he said. “I was just talking to my dad. He sent our video to The Flax Seeds and he said they were going to send it out to their followers. I’m telling you, we can totally get a sponsor and make a video. I’m sure of i
t.”
“Shane, come on, let’s just chill for the rest of the night. This rock star needs a break. And a giant bottle of water. My throat is killing me,” Heidi said.
“I’ll go with you to find some.” I couldn’t wait to tell Heidi that Ethan had kissed me. Normally when someone says “I told you so” to me, I get annoyed, but this would be the best “I told you he liked you” ever.
“Do you want me to bring water back for you too?” I asked Ethan, blushing a little.
Madison and Heidi gave me looks like they knew what was going on.
“People, before you go get drinks, we need photos, and one more hug,” Madison said.
Ethan put his arm around my shoulder, and we all squeezed up close together for a picture.
“Go Epis,” he said.
“Go Epis!” we all yelled as the light flashed.
Nina’s Favorite Breakfast Smoothie
From the cookbook Allergy-Free Mornings, by Claudia Simmons and Nina Simmons
Ingredients:
1 ripe banana
1 cup coconut milk
1 cup diced strawberries
Ice
Agave nectar
Directions:
Puree the banana, coconut milk, and strawberries in a blender.
Add ice 1–2 cubes at a time until you get the right consistency.
Add agave nectar to taste and give one more quick blend. Ta-da!
Serves 2
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to my wise and patient first draft readers Emma, Holly, Lorelei, and Sarah, and for the additional feedback by Leonard, Danielle, Kate, Miriam, Eliana and Edie, Tara, Patty, Eric, and Nora. So appreciate getting a kick-start courtesy of The Book Doctors and their fabulous Pitchapalooza event at Oblong Books & Music (best bookstore ever!). And thank you Erica Rand Silverman for your wisdom and support. To Aubrey Poole and the Sourcebooks team who helped bring My Year of Epic Rock to life, much gratitude. I’m so glad we’re in this together.
