“I’m Laura,” I say, holding out my hand to shake. She smiles and grasps it, the bangles jingling again.
“I’m Nicole. So, Laura, why are you learning Korean?”
I panic for a moment, knowing what I say will be analyzed by this complete stranger, but she seems kind enough.
“My boyfriend is Korean American and lives in Seoul. I don’t know. I just wanted to learn to…” Why did I want to learn Korean? It was an instinctual compulsion. I shrug my shoulders. “I have no idea why.”
“To be close to him?”
“Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I thought I could learn so we’d have even more to talk about, and, maybe when I go there, I’ll feel like I fit in.”
Nicole nods her head. “I get that. I had a Korean boyfriend while I lived in Seoul. We still talk all the time, and I think he wants me back.” She winks at me, and my excitement grows. Nicole may understand my relationship with Lee.
“This relationship with Lee, my boyfriend, is really new. We only met a few weeks ago, here in the city. But now he’s back in Seoul. Actually, he’s in Mumbai now.”
“Oh. I have family in Mumbai.”
“You’re Indian?”
“Half. My father is Indian. My mother is Caucasian. She likes to say, ‘Pale as the driven snow.’” Nicole laughs, so this must be a family joke. “Anyway, wow, that is a new relationship. Do you talk online a lot?”
“We text and FaceTime. It’s been fun and frustrating so far.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her, and she laughs again. Okay, good. She’s not a prude.
“I’m sure. You should learn some dirty Korean too and keep things spicy. Ji-Hoo and I did that all the time.”
“Ji-Hoo is your ex?”
“Yeah, he likes to be called Jim, though. I’m going to Skype with him all summer and then steal him back in the fall.”
I love her already. “Good plan.”
“What about you? Planning a visit to Seoul?” She leans forward and props her chin on her hand.
“I’d like to jump on a plane now, but I have family stuff to take care of first. It’s in the works, though.”
“Well, let’s stick together then. Maybe we’ll both be in Korea at the same time.” She pats my hand, and I smile back at her. Rarely is there ever somebody in a crowd more outgoing than I am. Nicole could be a kindred spirit.
I read too much Anne of Green Gables as a child.
The door opens again and a petite Korean woman enters the room, dressed business-casual in a black skirt and heels and a pink blouse with a bright smile on her face and an uneven stack of paper in her hands. “An nyoung ha seh yo,” she chimes and my stomach flutters with butterflies as everyone turns to greet her back. This is going to be fun.
(>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)
Lee Park
It’s 5:30am here. I’m so wiped, but I’m forcing myself to go running again. How was Korean class?
Laura Merchant
It was so fun. We learned basic greetings and she started going over how to read Hangul.
It seems pretty easy and intuitive. I’m sure I’ll pick it up in no time.
There was a girl in class I clicked with immediately. Nicole. She’s half-Indian and has family in Mumbai.
I told her about you.
Lee Park
Nice things, I hope.
Laura Merchant
Of course, Lee. God, I miss talking to you.
Shit. I’m going to cry. Walk faster.
Lee Park
Don’t cry, baby. I miss talking to you too.
Where are you?
Laura Merchant
Walking to get Chinese takeout.
I’m sure I’m not the only crying, single girl who has picked up General Tso’s chicken for one.
Lee Park
Well, you’re taken, not single.
Mine.
Laura Merchant
You’re making me smile. Thanks.
Work’s been busy?
Lee Park
Insane. I was at the office till 11 last night.
No cooking at home tonight?
Laura Merchant
It’s past 8 here. I have the fixings for a curry I’m going to make tomorrow but rice will take 45 min.
I need to eat now. Starving.
Mom is going out to dinner tomorrow. I didn’t tell her we’re talking over FaceTime.
Lee Park
I love that you love to cook.
Uh oh. Is your mom still mad with me?
I’m sorry, Laura.
Laura Merchant
Not your fault, Lee.
Get your cute ass on a plane and come eat my curry.
That was a seriously dirty text if you add on THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
Lee Park
I’m dying. Lol.
I have a cute ass?
Laura Merchant
You do. I checked it out on our first date.
Some woman at Starbucks caught me in the act.
Lee Park
You make me laugh all the time.
Laura Merchant
I try. I’d rather laugh than cry.
Lee Park
Me too.
Laura Merchant
Go run. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Xo
Lee Park
I don’t want to sign off. Let’s just chat until I need to go to work.
Laura Merchant
Nope. You need your therapy exercise just as much as I do.
Someday, maybe, we can run together.
Lee Park
Erase someday and maybe from that last text and insert soon.
Laura Merchant
:)
Lee Park
Ok, I’m going. Sleep well, gorgeous. Xo.
It took every ounce of strength I have not to tell him about my crazy mother and how much I already love him. I’ve only known him three weeks. How can anyone love someone that quickly? It took three months for me to feel the same about Rene. I look back on our relationship now, and it wasn’t half of the love I already feel for Lee. My heart is playing tricks on my brain.
Chapter
Sixteen
=
Lee
“Laura, I’m going to change jobs. I’m not happy doing this work anymore, and I haven’t been happy for some time.” I drop the bomb. Just like that. We’ve been FaceTiming for an hour now and already talked about what she’s been up to, work and Korean classes, and I’ve given her the overview of my time in India. She’s on her third glass of wine, and, each time she leans forward, I try to look down her shirt. Nothing has changed about how attracted I am to her. The desire gets more intense every single time.
“Really, Lee? Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. You know the photo I sent you of the UN trucks outside the shantytown? I passed by them on my run and remembered an old law school friend who went to work for the UN after we graduated. I’m pretty sure he’s still working for them. I’ve heard his name mentioned through mutual friends. I just saw the work the UN is doing, and I want to be a part of it — not humanitarian work but work in international law.”
“What you saw changed you?” she asks, and I nod my head. “You know, Lee… The Beatles went to India and they were never the same again.”
I stop for a minute and watch her nodding head on the other side of our chat. My impulsive side wants to blurt out that I love her, that she understands me better than anyone ever has, but my careful, litigious side intervenes.
“Laura, how do you do that?”
“What?” She laughs and leans closer, the iPad shifting on her bed. “What did I do?”
“You’re psychic. I ended up on the beach halfway through my run and listened to ‘Let It Be.’”
“I love that song. It’s one of my favorites.” Her words are a little slurred, but it’s cute and charming.
“I thought about how my life has changed lately, and why it never changed before now.”
“What’s the difference, do you thin
k? This is not your first trip to India.”
“It’s like my sixth time here. Maybe seventh. The difference is you.” She freezes, a smile lightens the lower half of her face but her eyes shimmer with tears. “I never changed before now because I had no motivation to. My father was happy with me, always has been. My mother hasn’t changed, and I don’t want to change for her. Sandra was never happy with me. But now, I don’t know how you did it, but you changed me.”
“Lee, are you happy? You look happy.” She laughs, dabbing at one corner of her eye with her index finger, and I rub my tired face. It’s 6:30am, but it’s 9:00pm where she is, and I’m tired but…
“Yeah, I’m happy. I’ve never been happier. Now I need to find the job.”
“Did you look online at all?” Laura reaches off camera and opens a MacBook I’ve only seen her use once or twice. She types, and I yawn while I answer the door. Room service is here, and I’m starving. I ordered a big meal because I have a long day ahead of me and I leave for Pune tonight.
Once I’m done signing the check, I appear back in front of my iPad. “Lee, there are a few jobs in Korea. Incheon? Is that close to Seoul?”
“Yeah, Incheon is the next major city over, west of Seoul, right on the coast. Laura, I don’t have to stay in Korea. I was thinking there’d be more jobs in New York.”
“Oh god, Lee, don’t move here on my account. I’m trying to get away from New York, remember? And you like Korea, why would you move?” She goes back to her MacBook. “Seriously, there are posts in your field in both Seoul and Incheon. You should apply. Now.”
I pour some coffee and sit down again. “I need to compile my resume, but, yes, I’ll do it as soon as I can.”
“Wow,” she whispers. She stares at her wine glass before taking a sip. “I was thinking the other day about how you’ve changed me, Lee. I have a new reason to get out of the bed in the morning, and it’s nice. I love talking to you and texting you. I love your photos and your gifts. I like you, a whole hell of a lot.” She raises her eyebrow at me and smiles. She’s definitely a little drunk. “Lee, something happened this past week I have to tell you about.”
I slowly put my coffee mug down, not allowing my hand to shake. “Are you all right, Laura?”
“I’m fine… Well, physically. My mom came to me on Monday morning to tell me her boyfriend proposed and they’re getting married.”
“What?” This doesn’t sound like a rational decision from a woman who’s had nervous breakdowns and lost her husband three years ago.
“I know. My reaction had more swear words in it. They’re getting married in the Bahamas.”
“Wow. When do you go?” I ask, thinking I could take leave after India and meet her. A romantic vacation together would be perfect to kick things off.
“Um, I’m not invited, Lee.” She swirls the wine around in her glass and drinks again. Now, the excessive drinking of tonight makes more sense. “And when she returns, she’s selling the apartment, and I’m to move out.”
Laura stops, and my stomach clenches for her. Her eyebrows are pinched together and deep lines form at the corner of her mouth. She’s struggling. If only the network connection here was better like it is in Seoul, I’d be able to see even more details of her face or hear her breathing. She’s so far away from me, she’s drowning, and I can’t reach out my hand to pull her up.
“Where would you go?” I ask, my voice hitching in an unmanly way. I press my fist to my lips and stare at her. What if I haven’t been forthcoming enough about how much I like her and want to be with her? What if I’ve been ambiguous? I promised myself I wouldn’t be ambiguous.
“I’ve been thinking about returning to New Orleans which is my only option at this point. I can’t stay here in New York. It’s too expensive on what I’m paid.”
I sink down in the chair, disappointed by her answer but proud of how strong she is. No tears though I’m sure she wants to cry.
“But,” she continues, and my head snaps up from the plate in front of me, “there’s this really cute and sweet and handsome and wonderful guy living in Korea that I want to go spend some real time with…”
The buzzing of a billion bees invades my head and won’t stop.
“And I’m hoping he’ll take me in, even if just for a little while.”
Her neck is reddening in a blush, frozen and waiting for my response. Maybe I didn’t expect it to happen this fast, but I wanted it to.
“If this guy living in Korea is me, nothing would make me happier.”
She sighs, blowing out a huge breath. “Thank god because I was ready to throw up for a minute. I’m sorry. I’ve had way too much wine tonight.”
“Don’t apologize, Laura. I’m pretty desperate to spend time with you. I’m glad you want to spend time with me.” I pull the top off my breakfast and inhale. Dosas. Exactly what I wanted on my run yesterday but didn’t have time for. “Whenever you’re ready to come, I have a spot in my bed, just for you.”
“Mmmm, Lee. Talk dirty to me, I love it.” She bursts into a laugh, and I replay the sentence in my head. Definitely dirty.
“There’s more where that came from.” Dilemma: eat breakfast or have internet sex?
“Lee, I…” She stops, frozen for so long I think our internet connection has gone out.
“Laura?” I ask, picking up my dosa and taking a big bite.
“Lee, I want to talk about sex.” Her hand jumps up and covers her mouth, and I sit, mute, stunned. Did she read my mind? “Oh my god, did I say that out loud?”
I don’t care how hungry I am, I pick up the iPad and take it to the bed. “You did.”
“I have a vibrator, and I use it. Often.” She covers up her face and mumbles, “I’m completely mortified.”
“I was wondering,” I say with a smile, internally pumping my fist in the air and screaming words of encouragement at myself. “Because I planned on buying you one.”
“Really? Oooo. What kind?” Her eyes light up, and I have to stop from patting myself on the back. Good job. This is what I need. Food? Who needs to eat when there’s the possibility of internet sex?
“What do you have already?” I pick up my iPhone and wait, prepared to shop for something right this very instant.
“I have the Rabbit, of course — most women here do — and it does the job, but I really want a wand. I don’t know why I haven’t just bought myself one, but it didn’t seem important, until recently. Now there’s all this pent-up sexual tension, and I have to relieve it or I go nuts. It’s all your fault, Lee.”
I smile, pleased with myself for turning on a woman from thousands of miles away.
“Hmmm, the Rabbit and the wand…” I find them both via a sex shop in San Francisco, of course. “They sound like tools for a sex magician. What’s so special about the wand?”
“I’m not sure except it needs to be plugged in.” I raise my eyebrows, and we both laugh. “Like into an actual electrical socket. No batteries. So my best guess is power. It probably does the job and does it quickly.”
“Okay…” I tap at my phone, add the wand and some accessories to my cart, and turn off my phone. I can buy them later. “Done. I certainly don’t want to deprive you, Laura, because I’m dying to have sex with you. I want to run my hands all over your body. I want to kiss you all the way down your neck to your chest…”
“Mmmm.” She closes her eyes and sighs, and I study her lips, soft skin and hair, and remember the way she tasted when I kissed her. She was sweet like milk chocolate and coffee. The only dessert I want.
“Take off your shirt, Laura.” Her eyes snap back open. “Just your shirt, not your bra.”
One side of me is horrified I’m asking a woman to strip for me on a virtual date. This is not me. But she’s obviously turned on and my dick is hard and my head is still buzzing. This is our chance to break a wall down in our relationship. If this goes well, I’ll cancel my next trip and go see her right away.
She peels off her shirt and a pi
nk, lacy bra holds back her breasts. I am in trouble. Major trouble. I lean in and watch her pull her hair out of her ponytail. Her long, chestnut colored locks fall across her shoulders. Laura’s chest rises with a deep breath and dark pink nipples reveal themselves between the pieces of lace.
“God, you’re gorgeous, Laura. The first thing I’m going to do when I see you again is kiss you until you’re light-headed. And when we’re finally alone together, I’m going to make my way down your body until you come so hard, you’ll see stars.”
“Holy shit, Lee.” She gasps, waving at her face, panting and closing her eyes. “You should stop talking. I don’t know how much I can take.”
No. No, I’m not stopping.
“Have some more wine, Laura, and then get out that Rabbit. I want to see you use it.”
“Lee,” she pleads, panic edging into her voice. Maybe I’m pushing too far. “You wouldn’t dare record me, would you? I’m afraid of ending up on the internet or something.”
Laura is a treasure, the kind I want to wrap in silk, fawn over, and hold gently. She’s not hesitant to share herself with me, she doesn’t want to share herself with the whole world. I admire that. She’s trustworthy to a point, believing in me and my dedication to her, but we have finally reached a line she’s wary to cross.
“Laura…” I lean in even closer so she can see my eyes. “I don’t want to share you with anyone. And I wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship by doing anything that stupid. I’ll record it in my brain…” I tap my temple. “So it can get me through till I see you again.”
Electricity is zipping between us, over thousands of miles of cable buried under the ocean, and the power of our connection sends shocks along the base of my spine. We’re strong even though we’re so far apart.
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