I let my eyes trail down to his six-pack and I bit on my lip before I turned away and grabbed my phone with unsteady hands. That wasn’t my phone I wanted to grab. At all.
“What are you doing?’’ Dex asked softly, his voice a lot nicer than usual. The guys looked at each other and I knew I wasn’t the only one noticing. Even my father unglued himself from his phone to look at Dex and then at me, but his face was blank. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
“Hm.’’ I looked down at my phone, set to take a picture. “I’m going to take a behind the scene pic.’’
“You’ll post on Twitter?’’ Beckett asked me, coming closer to me and ignoring Dex.
I glanced from one man to the other and both showed a variation of annoyance.
“Twitter and my blog. It’s all part of my shadowing the band.’’ I glanced back at Dex. “But don’t worry, I’m not going to take a picture of you, guys. You have enough of that already today.’’
“You’re not a photographer. It’s not the same shit,’’ Otis retorted and yawned after he waved away a mousy looking guy walking toward them. Probably an assistant.
I quickly snapped a picture of the huge spots and the place where I imagined the guys would stand in front of the photographer.
“Aren’t you going to ask us for a pic?’’ Dex asked, again disturbing me and reminding me of his very potent presence. As if I could forget it, but I could try and ignore him. Except he wouldn’t let me, of course. His smoky, low voice alone made my body tingle.
“Yeah, Harley,’’ Maxen went on after he elbowed Dex not discreetly at all. “You favorite and retweet us, but you don’t post real live pics of us. Don’t you want to drive your followers crazy?’’
I pursed my lips at him and narrowed my eyes. I didn’t know what he was onto, but the way he kept glancing from me to Dex told me he must know what had happened yesterday. I glared at Dex and scoffed at him, very discreetly. His own eyes turned cold, but I didn’t give a damn.
“Honey, if you want to take this pic it can’t wait. I see the photographer is almost ready,’’ my father said with impatience, pointing at a bald man, very short and thin wearing very, very tight black skinny jeans. I shuddered at the view. In my opinion, no man should wear skinny jeans.
One look at Maxen, Otis, and Beckett told me they thought the same thing considering they all had either a disbelieving look or a disgusted one on their faces. But Dex… he wasn’t paying any attention to the man. His gaze was still on me, unwavering, maddening and burning.
“Okay.’’ I cleared my throat. “Guys, get closer and smile or something.’’
Dex didn’t move, but Maxen, Otis, and Beckett flanked him and my father walked away to talk to someone or another. I didn’t look. I aimed my phone at the band and seeing their grim faces I sighed. “At least, make me believe you’re happy to be here.’’ They didn’t change anything. “Smile!’’
Slowly a very fake, very PR-approved smiled appeared on their faces, except Dex. It didn’t change much from his usual so I wasn’t peeved. Yet, upon closer look I could see a tiny smirk on his lips, enough to hint at a dimple. I swallowed and took a few pics before I nodded and thanked them.
I opened my Twitter app and froze. Contrary to what someone would think considering my college major and my blog, writing stuff on Twitter and other social media didn’t always come easily to me. Right now, nothing came to mind considering only Dex was there. He obliterated everything else.
“Glad to see even the Twitter goddess can be uninspired,’’ Dex whispered right next to my ear, his breath going down my neck and into my top, caressing the swell of my breasts. I shivered.
“It’s not like I can write how much you guys loath doing photo shoots.’’
“You know we wouldn’t give a shit.’’
I took a step back and faced him, trying to put some much-needed distance between us. He overwhelmed me enough from afar, so any kind of closeness was and should be prohibited.
“Even Beckett?’’
“He’s into that type of PR bullshit because he’s afraid our success will stop and he has a shit ton of issues regarding his self-worth, but other than that? Yes, he wouldn’t give a shit.’’
I frowned at the tidbit of info and fixed my gaze on Beckett who was talking with Otis and Maxen, serious as always. If there was one man I thought was the most put-together and down to earth, it was Beckett. He also seemed like the one that was least spontaneous, but I wouldn’t have thought he had issues. Funny how sometimes we saw famous people as these un-tarnishable, unattainable beings, almost as if they’re not real people.
“Look at me, Harley.’’ Dex’s demand sounded more like a gruff order and even though I hated it and it made me want to lash out and unleash some of the tension gathered in me since yesterday, I did what he said and looked at him.
It was a big mistake.
*
DEX
When her eyes reached mine, I swear my heart raced painfully in my chest. I thought that dumb thing never happened, but it did and it was fucking distracting. No, distracting wasn’t the right word. It was stimulating, very stimulating.
I wanted to grab her, kiss the hell out of her and mostly…I wanted to fuck her with all the pent-up frustration, tension and need I had accumulated over the years and over the course of the last few days since she walked into my life.
I swallowed thickly and closed the space between us again, ready to do something. What? I didn’t fucking know and for the first time in years, I wasn’t thinking, wasn’t questioning myself. I felt.
I made a move to touch her face, feel the silk of her skin and find that same connection that spooked me yesterday. The tip of my fingers was a breath away from her reddening cheeks and she wasn’t moving, wasn’t looking away from my eyes and mouth. Her lips were parted and her eyes had that same spark in them, that spark that begged me to take her now.
“Dex!’’ Floyd’s voice interrupted us and Harley’s eyes widened before she took a few steps away from me, shaking her head. “Come here, now.’’
At this very moment, I hated my manager and the distance put between me and his daughter.
It took everything in me to turn around and walk to the band waiting for me with Floyd. When I reached them I glared. “No need to yell.’’
“She’s my daughter, Dex.’’
I nodded and ignored the photographer who was talking to us, probably giving us pointers as to what he expected of us, but I didn’t give a fuck right now. I’d follow the guys’ lead, anyway. I glanced over my shoulder at Harley who was now engrossed in her phone. I didn’t know if it was for show or real, but either way I knew she wasn’t disgusted by me. I had been sure she’d slap me as soon as she saw me after the way I left yesterday, but she didn’t. And I couldn’t not face that attraction. A minute in her presence and I had been about to kiss her, forgetting everything and anything. That wasn’t like me.
“I know and I’m not Maxen.’’
“For all I know you’re just better at hiding it.’’
I clenched my jaw and closed my hands into tight fists. Whenever someone broached the subject of my sexual life I was ready to punch the fuck out of that person. But it was Floyd, my manager, and Harley’s father. “Think whatever the fuck you want, Floyd, but never think I’d treat a woman badly. Ever, you hear me?’’
I was towering over him, I had pounds on him and yet he didn’t back away from me, didn’t blink. He pointed at my face and glared. “If you so much as upset her you’ll hear from me. She’s my daughter and far more important than Kinky Shine or my job. Are we clear?’’
I nodded and took place where Otis pointed I should be standing. I glanced around at my bandmates and we shared a bored look. Even Beckett stopped ignoring me right then and there. We knew we looked like dumb jackasses.
Seeing us right now with the flash of the photographer’s machine going off every few seconds you would never believe we’re the fucking Kinky Shine, numb
er one rock band out there, the ones singing about fucking women, loving them, breaking up with them and doing that shit all over again. No, right then and there you would think we’re a damn boy band.
“Dex, please smile,’’ the photographer said for the fourth time and, this time, my smirk appeared, but it hurt my cheeks.
He took more pictures and we moved following his instructions, but when he suggested we should all lie down next to each other I broke down and crossed my arms, glaring at the man. Usually, I wasn’t the first one to break down, but I couldn’t stomach that shit. I was only wearing my god-damn jeans without my usual belt to keep them up and every fucking time I moved they slid lower and lower. I wasn’t like Maxen, I didn’t want to flash these people.
“We’re not going to lie down half naked as if we just had a fucking orgy together.’’ My voice was louder than I thought and everybody stopped moving. My bandmates looked at me and all of them had a big smile, probably happy I’d put my foot down on that disaster.
“What?’’ The photographer lowered his camera and glared at me. His voice was suddenly much deeper than seconds ago and he didn’t sound hyped either. His thick black eyebrows lowered over his muddy brown eyes and his thin lips completely disappeared. “Are you the photographer?’’
“No, but I’m the one you’re taking a picture of. I think I have a say if I’m not comfortable.’’
“Do I tell you how you should write your songs or play your instrument?’’ He walked to me and even though the man was short and thin as a railroad, I wasn’t as confident suddenly. But I was still pissed.
“We are not going to lie down.’’
I stood straighter, widened my stance and looked down at him, my jaw locked. Maxen on my right moved closer, ready to pounce before I did something that would be real hard for our PR team to hide. Only my bandmates knew how easily I could snap and even though I’d been fucking good at keeping my calm since we had been signed, these last few days wore me down on many accounts.
Small hands fell on my hard beating heart and goosebumps broke out on my skin. I looked to my left and found Harley. She shook her head. “Calm down, Dex.’’ Her voice lulled me and I relaxed a bit.
“Now that it’s settled, go and lie down.’’
My head turned back to him and I took a step closer to him, but Harley’s nails bit into my skin. I stopped and seethed.
“If you know what’s good for you, stop, man,’’ Maxen said and he clasped my right shoulder. “We all need a break.’’
The photographer mumbled something and walked to Floyd. I should be sorry that he’d have to get an earful from that ridiculous guy, but I was too pissed still to empathize. He was the one who booked that guy to begin with.
“Dex, come on. Let’s go in the building and have a coffee.’’ Maxen eyed me and clapped my bare shoulder before walking to the building. “Or maybe a shot of something to mellow you.’’
Harley’s hand traveled down my arm and when it reached my elbow she retreated, but I snatched her hand and laced my fingers with hers. She froze and after a beat, she squeezed my hand and tugged on it to lead me in the direction Maxen had gone. Otis and Beckett followed us closely.
I craved hitting something, someone. The knuckles on my right hand turned white with the strength I used to clench my hand, but I made sure to keep my hold on Harley’s hand bearable. But I kept a tight hold on her. I didn’t want to let her go, not now.
Inside the building, we went to the first floor where the improvised makeup room and the dressing room had been set up. The large room was mostly bare, but the racks of clothes, the makeup boxes or whatnots created a strange mismatch. Maxen turned around and opened his arms wide as if to embrace the whole room.
“Where’s the coffee machine, or the water bottles?’’
Otis pointed back behind us. “I saw them loading everything once we were ready. Must be in another room.’’
Beckett sighed and sat in the chair he had occupied earlier when one of the makeup artists fussed over him, telling him what nice skin he had. Was it supposed to be a turn on?
“We’re in LA, damn it,’’ Beckett mumbled and rubbed at his temple. “Do they think we don’t need to stay hydrated? It’s not like it’s winter in fucking Alaska.’’
The guys started to bicker as usual, but I didn’t give a damn thing after that. Harley was still at my side, her hand in mine and her body brushing against mine. It was innocent, nothing at all for anybody else, but for me. It was enough to get me hard as a rock. I knew one less innocent touch from her would set me off and I’d embarrass myself.
I needed out.
We needed out. Now.
I tugged on her hand to get her attention and when her face tilted up shyly, I had to check myself before I attacked her. I nodded toward the door and didn’t give her the time to answer before I led her out the door and up the staircase in search of an empty room. I didn’t know why I wanted an empty room. No, I knew damn well why I wanted that room, but I didn’t know what I’d do once there. I was off-kilter and at this point anything could happen.
I tried the first door, but it was locked. I cursed and tugged on her hand, walking faster down the dark hall until I finally found an open door. I didn’t check if someone was in there or what was in the room.
I pushed Harley inside, slammed the door closed and pushed her against the old wooden panel. She gasped, but didn’t fight me. Not. Fucking. Once.
The room was only lit by the sun coming through one small window not completely obliterated by a plank of plywood and it was enough for me to see her beautiful face.
“What are you doing?’’ She was out of breath and that made me shiver. I was too aware of my bare chest, of her little top that bared her arms, her shoulders and the swell of her breasts.
“Exactly what you think I’m doing,’’ I replied in a whisper, my voice raspy and my words barely articulated. I was drunk on lust.
“I thought you couldn’t do this.’’
I shook my head and closed the space between us. I needed to feel her breasts against my chest and when I did, I had to close my eyes. Without consciously doing so I clenched my jaw and the muscle in there jumped. I grabbed her tiny waist and tightened my fingers on her. Her breathing changed pattern again at my rough touch and I was a goner.
I re-opened my eyes and leaned down until my nose brushed hers. “I don’t know if I can, but I can’t not kiss you. I can’t not want you, Harley. Do you want me?’’
She nodded slowly, her mouth parted to let her pink tongue run along her lips as if getting ready to devour a fucking dessert. That shit was hot.
“Say it, Harley. I want to hear you say you want me to kiss you.’’ I ran my hands up her ribcage, past the outer side of her breasts that I imagined perfect and to her face, cupping her red tinged cheeks. “I want it to be clear how much you want my lips on yours.’’ I needed it to be clear.
She looked deep into my eyes and said nothing, but before I retreated with a new weight on my shoulders and a disappointment like I had rarely experienced, her small hands landed on my waist, right above my jeans, directly in contact with my skin. It was a shock. I shivered and this time around I didn’t hide it, didn’t even think about it.
“I want you, Dex.’’ She applied more strength on her hold on my waist and her throat worked. “Kiss me.’’
Her words made me even harder. I swallowed and a doubt crept in, like always when I was about to kiss a woman, but this time around, I was able to push it away. It was easy when Harley looked at me with those lustful eyes, when her small hands moved up my back, when her breasts were plastered against my skin and when her vanilla smell drugged me.
I took a hold of the back of her head and tilted her chin up to meet my lips, keeping a hold of her chin and throat, feeling it working under my fingers. Her skin was even softer than I first thought under my hands rendered rough with callouses from playing the guitar for all these years.
But I didn’t
feel much other than her lips when they met mine. Nothing else existed. I sounded like a chick, but the truth was that; she rocked my fucking world with just a brush of lips.
I nibbled on her lower lip and she moaned softly in my mouth. I tightened my hold on her and pushed my body harder against her, pushing her back into the door until my hard cock met her soft stomach and she couldn’t ignore it. She gasped and this time, I growled loud. She undulated and slipped her tongue into my mouth. When her tongue met mine, it was overwhelming. I sucked on my breath and kissed her harder, tugging on the hair on the back of her head to tilt her head up a bit more and I bit down on her lower lip until another breathless moan escaped her. I ate it up and ran my tongue against hers until I brushed the roof of her mouth and felt her shiver against me. One of her hands went to my ass and she pushed me harder into her as her hips sought my cock.
It was too much.
Way too much.
I was ready to explode, to come in my pants like a fucking thirteen-year-old.
I broke the kiss and jumped back, holding my hands up before she could follow me. I was breathing hard and she wasn’t any better. She braced herself against the door as if it was the only thing holding her up. Her chest was heaving and it brought my attention back to her breasts. Even covered by her top and bra, I saw her nipples pushing through, begging for attention. I closed my eyes and rubbed my eyes with one shaky hand.
“What…Dex?’’
I shook my head and took a deep breath, trying to calm the fuck down. But how could you calm down when feeling something like this? How!
“This…’’ I croaked and crossed my arms, re-opening my eyes. “I…Harley, it’s too much.’’
She blinked at me and looked down, her breathing going back to normal. She looked small suddenly. Smaller than usual. “I’m not usually so…uh…forward.’’
“It’s not you.’’
She waved me off and straightened up. “Spare me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing. Please.’’
I growled and grabbed her shoulders suddenly. Usually, anyone would be scared of my mood, of what a big dude like me could do, but not her. She met my hard look with her own and didn’t try to escape my hold. And that too was a turn on.
Dex (Kinky Shine #1) Page 8
