“You’re drunk,’’ I pointed out and tried to pull away from Dex, but he didn’t let me. If anything, he pulled me closer to him. “Maybe you should ease off a bit.’’
Maxen stood up and put the bottle on the coffee table littered with empty bottles and food wrappers. He extended his hands to the two girls to grab and they didn’t waste a minute. They didn’t seem to care if the drummer was completely drunk.
“You always have an opinion on everything, huh Harley?’’ he said, walking past me and Dex.
“Don’t bring her into your mess. Be careful of what you say,’’ Dex said and made a move to get closer to his best friend, but I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
Maxen narrowed his eyes on me and walked out with the two women clutching at him and giggling, probably delighted by this showdown between both men.
I felt nauseous watching Maxen rubbing his nose as they left the room. He probably did another line. That’s why he was acting out like that. I was now sure the other guys in the band didn’t know about it and probably didn’t partake in such a thing, but it didn’t ease my mind. I knew and I didn’t say anything to Dex.
“I’m sorry about Maxen. He can be an ass when he drinks hard liquor,’’ Dex said softly in my ear, rubbing my back in comfort.
I forced a smile on my face and nodded. “Does he do it often? Drinking, I mean.’’
He shrugged and poured himself another drink, his hands gripping the bottle and the small glass more tightly than necessary. “Not really.’’ He looked around at the people partying and drinking. It wasn’t particularly wild, but it was obvious more than one person would leave this room drunk and probably end up having casual sex with someone. “But this is kind of our life, Harley. The concerts, the adulation, the alcohol, and parties.’’ He threw his drink back and put his glass on the coffee table. I expected him to refill, but he didn’t. “It gets old and sometimes we get away from it for a while, but I can’t say we’re fucking saints either.’’
I knew that. I took a deep breath, unsure of where I was standing in all of this. Once again I was reminded I was an outsider. “I think you should talk with Maxen. There’s a difference between saints and being a complete jackass.’’
He smiled ruefully and pushed away some strands of hair behind my ear. His touch was light and sweet. My stomach fluttered.
“I’ll talk to him. I’m sorry if he embarrassed you. I don’t know why he picked on you.’’
I swallowed and grabbed his wrist, offering him a weak smile. “I’m the intruder.’’
He frowned and narrowed his eyes at me as if he knew I was hiding something, but that was impossible. He didn’t know me enough for that.
“I’m tired. Do you mind if I leave now?’’
He shook his head slowly. “Nah, you’ve had a long day too and I know you have that new article to write.’’ He kissed my temple and nodded toward the open door. “Let me drive you to your hotel. I’m not really in the mood for all this shit here anyway.’’
I smiled and glanced around one last time, seeing Otis and Beckett kissing some random women. I didn’t want to interrupt that to say goodbye so I turned back around and followed Dex who smirked at me when he saw how uneasy I was with all this PDA going around.
“Don’t think about laughing now.’’
He kept his annoying smirk on his face and when his dimple appeared, I got flustered. “If you knew how I like to see you so innocent…’’
“What does that mean?’’
He led me down the hall and toward the back exit. The door opened without resistance and he pushed the button on his car key. The huge black SUV’s light blinked when it unlocked. He had parked real close to the door, probably anticipating a quick exit if the paparazzi had been lurking around the back. The parking space right on the left was empty and I prayed that Maxen wasn’t driving with all the alcohol and drug in his body.
“You’re the sexiest woman, Harley. Your show of innocence is a fucking turn on for me. Climb in,’’ he said from above the car before he opened his door and climbed inside.
I gaped where he had been standing and slowly grabbed the door handle and pulled. Sexy? I had never been called sexy before. Pretty, yes. Beautiful, yes too, but never sexy.
*
DEX
Floyd, Otis, Beckett, and Harley were all on the lounge chairs, chatting and drinking lemonade while Maxen and I were at the grill. I was sweating under the sun and with how fucking hot the grill was. I had discarded my t-shirt ten minutes ago and I had been thrilled when I saw Harley following me with her intense green eyes. When her mouth fell open, my cock answered immediately. It was difficult not to drag her into another room to get her mouth on me again. The memory of it alone drove me mad.
“Feeling better, fucker?’’ I asked Maxen, trying my best to distract myself from thoughts of sex.
He grunted and squinted at me. “Yeah. Last night is a bit fuzzy.’’
I scoffed and grabbed the plate next to the grill to put the meat on, ready to bring it back to the table. “You stirred up shit with me and Harley.’’
He cursed and took the now full plate from my hands before I turned around to go to the table, ready to eat something. “Sorry.’’
“That’s okay. We’ve all been assholes when drinking. Don’t make a habit of it, though.’’ I glanced over my shoulder at Harley and caught her worried look. I offered her a reassuring smile, but it didn’t change a thing. She must be afraid I’d snap at Maxen after how last night ended.
“I won’t, but be careful with her,’’ he said. I faced him again to find him frowning at Harley.
“Wait, you were the one pushing me toward her and now you suddenly think it’s a bad idea?’’
“It’s not that.’’ He sighed and looked down at the sausages on the plate. “She’s the first woman you’ve been with since what happened and I don’t want you to put her on some fucking pedestal because of that.’’
“What are you trying to say?’’ I crossed my arms over my chest and widened my stance, ready to get virtually punched. I must be real dumb because a couple of days ago he was pushing me towards Harley, saying she was the solution to my hang ups and he was fucking right. And now, all of a sudden when I was feeling like a man again and happy, like I could write and compose music for the band, he was pushing me in the opposite direction. I didn’t understand a damn thing.
“If you can fuck her, you can fuck another girl. There are millions, literally, begging for it out there.’’ He waved around us. “She’s not unique, that’s what I want you to keep in mind.’’
“I didn’t fuck her, Maxen.’’
He shook his head. “That’s not the damn point and you know it. She proved you can be with a woman.’’
“Are you afraid it’s going to mess with the band because she’s Floyd’s daughter? Is that why you’re now telling me to drop this and grab the first fucking groupie I find?’’ I clenched my fists and grated my teeth before I said something I would regret. And before I started yelling at my best friend. I didn’t want Harley to know that now Maxen wasn’t so supportive. What she and I had going, I knew it wouldn’t be lasting, but I wasn’t ready to let that go. I wasn’t ready to let her go.
“You’re going to get attached, Dex.’’
“Why? Because I hadn’t had sex in years? Please, Maxen. I know exactly where I’m standing. Why are you doing this now, huh?’’
“Because she’s interfering with the band!’’ he whisper-yelled. “She’s getting all chummy with us, thinks she’s part of us. What if she thinks it’s more serious between you two? It’s going to be a clusterfuck. Shagging her or doing whatever with her is fine, but now that she’s proven you can, drop it.’’
“Drop her you mean,’’ I said tersely and took a deep breath. I ignored how hard my heart was beating or how disappointed in my own best friend I was. If there was one guy here I thought would have my back when I was finally going back to living a normal life,
it was him. I had never been more disconnected from him than I was at that very moment. I took the plate from his hands and walked away. “Lunch’s ready!’’
I sat at the big table and put on my aviator sunglasses left on the table when I took off my t-shirt. Now I could glare at Maxen all I wanted and nobody would know. I leaned back in my chair, suddenly not so eager to eat.
“You okay?’’ Beckett asked discreetly next to me as the others started swiping stories from our different concerts. Harley’s smile was open and sweet, her eyes full of light. How could I not be attracted to her?
I shrugged at Beckett and reluctantly grabbed a hotdog. “Yeah, yeah.’’
“Is it Maxen? He was drunk last night, Dex. You know how he gets.’’
I took a sip of beer and briefly closed my eyes when the cold drink hit my tongue. But it wasn’t enough to calm me down. “It’s not that.’’ I leaned closer to Beckett and lowered my voice a bit more. The others would probably think we’re talking about the new song I wrote and the one I told them I started last night. “He now says I shouldn’t keep up with Harley.’’
Beckett frowned and stopped eating. Instead, he took a swig of his beer and briefly glanced at Maxen, seeing him sullenly sitting between Floyd and Otis. For once he wasn’t participating in the conversation and adding his sex stories to the mix.
“I don’t know what’s up with him,’’ Beckett said. “But don’t listen to him. You’re writing again and I saw a smile on your face last night. A real fucking smile.’’
I chuckled and shook my head, polishing off my beer and finally started eating.
*
HARLEY
After lunch I went back inside with the pile of empty plates, letting the men talk business about some charity auctions they were supposed to attend and a TV appearance on some talk show or another coming up in a few days.
I had been on edge since walking in Dex’s house and finding Maxen glaring at me. It wasn’t a surprise, but it was difficult. For one, I hated conflict of any kind. I knew something I shouldn’t and I didn’t know what to do with that information. No, it’s not true. I knew what to do, but I was scared of the consequences. And I didn’t want Maxen to hate me and do something rash. You never knew with addicts.
That had conflict written all over it.
In the slick, modern kitchen made of black and white appliances, I put away the dirty plates and leaned against the huge kitchen island, head in hands. There were too many things happening at once. Shadowing the band, taking care of my blog, Dex, Maxen…It was hard.
“Hey, you okay?’’
I lowered my hands and a small smile stretched my lips when Dex walked toward me. His swagger had me tongue-tied. Or maybe it was his bare chest with his tattoos.
“Harley?’’
I shook off the weird funk and nodded. “I’m fine. A bit tired, but fine.’’
“You couldn’t sleep last night?’’ He smirked and his dimple popped. “You can tell me if you kept on thinking of my cock. I know I did a lot of that, picturing your mouth,’’ he wrapped his arms around me and leaned into my ear. “Your tongue. I was hard all night.’’ He nibbled on my earlobe and I gasped in his neck.
“We’re not alone,’’ I mumbled half-heartedly. His scent enveloped me, drawing me further into him.
He sighed as if happy to feel my body plastered against him. I ran my hands along his spine and I had to refrain from letting a girlie sigh escape me when the muscles in his back bunched under my palms.
“So?’’ He kissed my neck, right under my ear. “I can’t not touch you, Harley. You have no idea how much I want you.’’ He pushed his hips into me and when I felt his hard cock, a hot wave took over my body, starting low in my belly.
But it wasn’t right. Last night, I gave him a blowjob when I knew I shouldn’t have unless I told him about Maxen’s addiction. I couldn’t betray Dex’s trust furthermore. He already had issues with it.
I put my hands on his firm chest and pushed. At first, he resisted, but he finally took a step back, then another one until we weren’t touching anymore. I felt the loss of his heat, but I didn’t make a move to seek it again.
He took off his aviator glasses and threw them on the island. They skidded and stopped an inch from falling to the floor. But he didn’t care about that. All his attention was on me in the form of a deep frown and a scowl.
“What’s going on?’’
I shook my head and glanced in the living room’s direction where I could hear Otis trying to engage Maxen in some talk, but he wasn’t very talkative. “Not now.’’
“Tell me now if you want to stop our little arrangement, Harley. I’m not going to throw a tantrum because of it,’’ he said, his voice cold and detached, but even though it pained me to hear him talking to me that way again, I also knew it was his way of protecting himself. He had let himself be vulnerable with me and we both knew I could hurt him because of it. I’d give anything to rewind time and let one of the guys get Maxen backstage instead.
“That’s not it, Dex. At all.’’ I waved toward the living-room where I heard my father giving some last info to Beckett regarding the talk show they all had scheduled on Friday. “I have something to tell you…but…’’ I trailed off and rubbed at my forehead, unsure of what to say, how to say it or if I even could. “It’s difficult and I’d rather be alone with you.’’
He nodded reluctantly, his eyes still on me as if he was looking for the answer to his question. But I knew he would never guess. At my hotel last night, I’d reflected on all of this, on the Kinky Shine’s dynamics and it became clear right before the sun rise; the guys were oblivious when it came to Maxen. Maxen was the larger than life man, often smiling and deflecting things with his booming laugh. He was a womanizer, a nice guy and the one attracting the most attention and reveling in it. They didn’t think there was something to be worried about and I understood. Contrary to Dex, Otis and Beckett, Maxen knew how to hide his problems.
“Come with me. It’s time for them to leave.’’ Dex walked back to the living room and I followed slowly, wondering futilely if I could run for it before I had to have the most difficult talk of my life. “Guys, it’s time for you to go.’’
“What?’’ Otis asked, his thick eyebrows arching high up on his forehead. “Why?’’
Dex briefly glanced my way and pointed toward the hall where I supposed his built-in studio was. “I have songs to write and some demos to record. If you want that fucking album, you need to go.’’
Beckett and my father were the first one to stand up at the mention of the new album. I smiled and chuckled. My father walked to me and hugged me longer than usual.
“Remember to be careful, honey.’’ He released me before I said anything. He patted Dex’s shoulder and did the same with the other guys.
Otis grumbled but followed Beckett out after they both gave a man hug to Dex. It was nice to see some of the tension between them leave. It was obvious they cared deeply about each other. That’s why it was so much more difficult to be the odd one out saying something about one of the band members.
“Maxen? Heard me, fucker?’’
He glared at me briefly before he rose to his feet. “Isn’t she leaving too?’’
I blinked at Maxen’s suspicious tone. I looked away from them and back to the beautiful swimming pool outside.
“She is, but I’m going to kiss her before that. And I don’t want to do that in front of you,’’ Dex replied with hostility in his voice.
Maxen shrugged, faking nonchalance and walked out of the house without another word or a “goodbye’’. Maxen had been the first one to accept me when I arrived two weeks ago, but he was now the only one rejecting me and seeing me as the enemy. Just because I saw something I shouldn’t have and I threatened the guys’ dynamic and their equilibrium.
“What the fuck is his problem?’’ Dex raged, scratching his cheek covered in dark stubble.
“That’s the reason I need to tal
k to you.’’
He looked back at me and sat on one section of the couch. I slowly followed him and made sure to put enough space between us to not touch. I didn’t know him well, but I would bet he would take this well and as it was well-known, the messenger rarely had it good.
“If Maxen told you something, ignore him. I don’t know what crawled up his ass.’’
I shook my head and nibbled on my lower lip. I was suddenly cold, cold with the thought of Dex rejecting me, cold by the thought of Maxen’s addiction, cold with fear of what it’d do for Dex and the other guys, and without saying, my father.
“Remember yesterday when I went to grab Maxen in the break room for sound check?’’
Dex’s frown deepened. “It’s not that far back, so yeah.’’
I nodded and put my hands on my thighs. My fingers bit into my skin bared by the jean shorts I had on. “I found Maxen where you left him, but he was…’’ I swallowed thickly and looked away from Dex’s deep, dark eyes. “He was snorting coke.’’
The silence stretched between us. In the corner of my eyes, I saw Dex’s hands clenching as his whole body tensed. He sat straighter, grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at him.
“What the fuck are you saying?’’
I gulped at the anger in his voice and the haunted look on his face. Deep inside, he believed me, but he didn’t want to. All the signs had been there. Maxen’s hands were often shaking, he seemed unpredictable, his complexion was more ashen than it should. Reflecting back, I saw him sweating for no apparent reason too.
“He’s addicted to drugs, Dex. That’s why he’s been like that with me. He knew I’d end up telling you and didn’t want me to. I…couldn’t keep it to myself any longer.’’
His jaw worked, but he didn’t say a word for what seemed like a very long time. His eyes were now downcast on his legs. One of his knees was jumping restlessly. “But you knew before the show. You knew when you sucked me.’’
“I…well—‘’
“It’s a fucking yes or no!’’ he yelled.
I startled and put more distance between us. He was buzzing with dark energy and I didn’t want to get caught up in it. “Yes!’’ I gasped when I saw the wounded look passing over his face, but it didn’t last. He was back to scowling at me, hiding the pain I created. “I knew it then, but I didn’t know how to tell you and Maxen had me promise I wouldn’t.’’
Dex (Kinky Shine #1) Page 14
