by Lyn Cote
Hannah could see the lingering aftermath of old pain in Margaret Harrison’s eyes.
She reached out and took one of Hannah’s hands. “We always knew he’d come back to God someday, and he has. I want you to know that he’s paid dearly for his sins…for Johnny. Paid more than you know. I hope you’ll give him a chance, that you’ll set aside your feelings and open your eyes to what he’s become, not what he was. And I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive him.”
The pain and pleading in Margaret Harrison’s eyes made Hannah feel small. Small and judgmental. She’d made no secret of her feelings. How must Margaret and Harold have felt seeing her at church every Sunday, knowing she despised their only living son. Yet never once had they given the impression that they felt anything toward her but love, practicing the Christianity they professed.
For the first time, Hannah saw herself as others must see her. For the first time, she realized her friends, Margaret and even Griff were right. She had to rid herself of the hate and bitterness. The scripture they’d studied the day before in class slipped into her mind. If she didn’t forgive Griff, God wouldn’t forgive her. A frightening, sobering thought.
Chapter Six
Thanksgiving with her sister and her two children was a pleasant, uneventful day. Hannah arrived at Susan’s house at mid-morning to help with the last-minute details, only to find everything under control.
“I haven’t worked with you the past two years without learning something,” Susan said, sliding the roasting pan full of corn bread dressing into the oven.
“Thank goodness,” Hannah said. “I don’t mind telling you I’m worn out, and there’s still more than a month to go until it’s all over.”
“You work too hard,” Susan said.
“I agree, but do you have any idea what it costs to heat that house I live in?”
“I don’t even want to think about it.” Susan reached into the cabinet for a cup. “How about some spiced cider?”
“Sounds good.” Hannah watched as her sister took two sturdy mugs from the cabinet and filled them from a pan warming on the stove.
“Where are the kids?”
Susan’s lips twisted into a semblance of a smile. “Like all boys his age, Lane is taking advantage of a day to sleep in. Kim is upstairs listening to music and probably talking to Callie Harrison on the telephone.”
“Callie Harrison?” Hannah asked, taking the cup her sister offered. “How does Kim know Callie?”
“Well, the Joneses live just down the street, and you know there isn’t a shy bone in Kim’s body. She introduced herself to Callie a year or so ago, and they hang out together when she comes to town to visit her grandparents.”
Hannah wondered why she hadn’t heard that bit of news before and concluded that her sister probably hadn’t wanted to stir up Hannah’s memories of Griff.
“I met Callie the other day when I took some food out to the Harrisons,” Hannah said. “She certainly looks like her dad, doesn’t she?” Though she tried to make the statement sound casual, she heard the tension in her voice.
“She’s a Harrison, no doubt about it,” Susan agreed. “You know,” she said thoughtfully, “I still remember how that marriage shocked the whole town.”
“So do I,” Hannah said. “The preacher’s daughter and the town’s baddest boy sneaking off and getting married just days after they buried Johnny.”
“It wasn’t that so much,” Susan said. “Everyone knew Josie was a little on the wild side, so her coming up pregnant wasn’t the bombshell it might have been if it had been someone like, say…you. The strange thing was that no one had a clue who she was seeing. I guess she and Griff kept it so hush-hush because her dad would have had a fit, not only because Griff had a reputation but because he was way too old for her.”
“Probably,” Hannah concurred.
“It’s too bad the marriage didn’t work out,” Susan added. “Divorce is tough on everyone, especially the kids.”
“You’d know all about that.”
“Yeah,” Susan said, “I would.”
“You do know I’m doing Josie’s bridal shower the fourteenth of December, don’t you?” Hannah said.
“Really? And how do you feel about playing hostess to a party honoring Griff’s ex?”
“I don’t have anything against Josie Harrison. She’s just one of many who made a mistake and has had to live with it. I certainly don’t blame her or Griff for their marriage not working. According to Clara McCallum, they did their best, and at least they tried to make their wrong right.”
“Well, well,” Susan said with a lift of her eyebrows. “I’ve never known you to be so magnanimous toward Griff Harrison.”
“Maybe I’m finally getting things into perspective,” Hannah told her.
“Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Ready to ditch the topic of conversation for something less volatile, Hannah asked, “How are your kids doing? When I saw Griff on Sunday, he said he hadn’t seen them in a while.”
“Matt was late sending my child support, so I’ve had a bit of a cash flow problem this month. I told him he’d better be on time next month with Christmas and all.”
“I’m sorry it’s so hard for you,” Hannah said.
“There are a lot of people in town who have it rougher than I do.” Susan smiled. “I’m just thankful to have two healthy kids…even if they are driving me crazy right now.”
“The counseling isn’t helping then?”
“Actually, it’s helping a lot, but Lane is sixteen, and Kim is almost thirteen. Apparently they feel the need to challenge everything I say and every decision I make.”
Hannah’s smile was reminiscent. “Every child’s God-given duty,” she said.
“So all my friends say. At least you’ve been spared that.”
The smile on Hannah’s face faded. “Yeah. I’ve been spared that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I’ve gotten used to being the town’s resident old maid, moreso now that Jo and Elizabeth have married.”
“You’ll find someone,” Susan said, her voice filled with conviction. “And so will I.”
“Really? Who, in this town?”
“Maybe no one from this town,” Susan said. “Elizabeth and Jo both married men who moved here. And you did catch Elizabeth’s bouquet,” she added with a teasing smile. “You can’t discount that.”
Knowing it was no use arguing with her ever-optimistic sister, Hannah just nodded and said, “True.” Hoping to change the subject, Hannah said, “Are you helping out with Breakfast with Santa this year?”
The event, sponsored by the Chamber of Commerce, was a popular one. Children gained entry to the event by bringing canned food for the needy. There were various Christmas crafts, a breakfast of sausage biscuits, juice and doughnuts and photos snapped with Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Hannah helped every year. This year it fell on the day after Josie Harrison’s shower.
“I have to skip this year. Kim and I are going to do some Christmas shopping.”
“I’m in charge of the cookie decorating,” Hannah said.
Susan rolled her eyes. “Food. It looks like they’d at least promote you to Christmas cards.”
“I don’t mind.”
“You might when you hear who’s helping you.”
Hannah felt her heart sink. “Three guesses, first two don’t count?” she hazarded. “Uh…let’s see. Griff Harrison?”
“Right the first time.”
“Well,” Hannah said with far more confidence than she felt, “there’s no reason I can’t get along with the man for a few hours.” She only hoped she felt as certain as she sounded.
As usual, Thanksgiving dinner was served at noon. Susan had invited two of her octogenarian neighbors, who had no relatives living nearby, to join them. Lane led their pre-meal prayer, thanking God for their food, their family and their friends. At the mention of friends, Hannah felt a tightening in her chest and a stinging
beneath her eyelids. Friends. She was so blessed to have Susan not only as a sister but also as a friend, not to mention how grateful she was for the love and caring of Elizabeth and Jo.
She knew she had backed away from their friendship since they had both married, but she now realized the distance wasn’t jealousy. It was a way to hold her own heartache at bay because she didn’t foresee the same happiness they had in her own future. The realization left her with a resolve to do better, to reestablish the closeness they’d always shared.
After the dishes were cleared, Hannah and her family spent the afternoon playing board games, a tradition started when Susan and Hannah were kids. It was a low-key, relaxing, fun day, and Hannah left her sister’s at six-thirty after indulging in leftovers everyone claimed they were still too full to eat.
She drove home, replete with satisfaction and good will toward her fellow man and filled with a true sense of thanksgiving. She fixed herself a cup of Darjeeling tea and sat down to familiarize herself with her schedule for the next few days. She soon realized she couldn’t concentrate with the memory of her conversation with Susan running through her mind. Today was a milestone, of sorts. She had actually discussed the man she considered to be her enemy in a rational way.
True, she hadn’t felt comfortable talking about him, but at least she was making strides. She was closer to forgiving him than she’d ever been, partly because of the change she saw in him that everyone felt was genuine, partly because she knew it was the Christian thing to do and her conscience was smarting, and partly because it was hard to hold a grudge against a man who had done the right thing when he had been caught in his sin, something she hadn’t done.
She knew there were no small sins, and her unwillingness to let go of her anger for what had happened when Johnny was killed was no less a sin than the things Griff had done in the wildness of his youth. As he had then, she needed forgiveness now.
With tears smarting in her eyes, she bowed her head to ask for that forgiveness. The first words had barely been thought with the doorbell rang, jolting her from her repentance. She was halfway to the front door when the telephone rang. Uncertain which to get first, she headed for the living-room extension, yelling “Come in!” to the visitor.
“Hi!” Susan said when Hannah picked up the receiver.
“Hey, what’s up?” Hannah asked, turning toward the doorway that led to the front hallway just as a man stepped into view. Not just any man. Griff Harrison. Griff, looking extremely attractive in a pair of worn jeans, a dark turtleneck sweater and black leather jacket. He gave a little wave, and Hannah’s heart skipped a beat. She forced a small smile and tried to concentrate on what her sister was saying.
“I wanted to let you know that Griff is stopping by for that movie Kim left when she spent the night last month. She’s staying overnight with Callie, and they wanted to watch it.”
“No problem,” Hannah assured her. “I know exactly where it is.”
“Thanks, sis.”
“Sure thing. ’Bye.” She hung up, turned off the phone and lifted her gaze to Griff’s. “That was Susan,” she said, tugging at the bottom of her sweater in a nervous gesture. She crossed the room to join him in the spacious front hall. The fire blazing in the oak-flanked fireplace cast dancing shadows on the staircase and the hard angles of Griff’s face. “She wanted to let me know you were coming.”
Griff smiled, but the action didn’t reach his eyes. “Sorry she didn’t give you enough time to bolster your defenses.”
“Do I need them bolstered?” she asked, tipping back her head in a small, defiant gesture.
“You tell me.”
What was he thinking? She wondered. Did he expect her to attack him? And why wouldn’t he? Isn’t that exactly what she’d done every time they’d been together? All the good feelings Hannah had been feeling toward him, all her sorrow for her behavior and her resolve to make her actions right not only with God but with him, evaporated in the face of his inscrutability. Unable to say the words she knew he wanted to hear, her gaze slid from his. “I’ll get the movie.”
She returned in a matter of minutes and handed him the DVD. “How was your Thanksgiving?” he asked.
“Good. Yours?”
“Quiet. It was just me, Mom and Dad. Callie was with Josie and her parents, but I get to have her for the next couple of days, which is plenty to be thankful for.”
“It must be hard on you, not seeing much of her since you left Dallas.”
“It is, but Josie and I have an amicable relationship, and I know she and David will never keep Callie from me.”
“So you approve of the husband-to-be?”
“David is a good man. He loves Josie and Callie, and they both love him. A man can’t ask for much more than that.”
“No,” Hannah said, as the horn honked from outside, “he can’t.”
Griff smiled, a genuine smile. “I’d better go before those two take off without me.”
“Yeah,” Hannah said. “You’d better.”
They said their goodbyes and she closed the door behind him. Then she watched the glow of his taillights until they disappeared across the railroad tracks. And all the while, she fought back her tears along with feelings of hopelessness and regret.
Chapter Seven
November passed, and December blew in, cold and blustery. Hannah barely noticed, she was so busy with dinners at the house, catering parties and baking specially ordered goodies for gifts. By the time the shower for Josie Harrison rolled around, Hannah was certain she’d never make it until the new year.
For the shower, the ten-foot pocket doors that separated the dining room from the parlor had been slid into the wall, opening up the two rooms into one large space. A selection of tea-time goodies, both savory and sweet, was set out on Hannah’s grandmother’s kidney-shaped buffet. An antique lace tablecloth graced the dining-room table under an arrangement of bare branches, pine boughs and pyracantha berries, bounty harvested from the backyard.
As Hannah lit the candle beneath the silver coffee carafe and placed the Swedish wedding cakes just so on a crystal platter, she couldn’t help but hear some of the comments coming from the living room.
“Gorgeous, Josie!”
“Wow, that one’s really pretty!”
Hannah felt a shaft of something between sorrow and envy pierce her heart. She turned, but her gaze swept right past the sheer confection Josie Harrison held up for the guests to see to the woman herself. Josie had always been attractive with her blond hair, blue eyes, petite body and an outgoing personality that drew people, both male and female, like ants to a picnic.
Hannah stared at the other woman, wondering what had driven Josie and Griff apart. To her surprise, Josie’s bright blue gaze found hers. Feeling like a Peeping Tom, Hannah turned her attention back to the buffet table, but in the instant before she turned away, Hannah could have sworn Josie Harrison’s eyes held apology. For the life of her, she couldn’t imagine what Josie could have done that she needed to feel sorry for.
That evening, Hannah agreed to watch Kim while Susan finished up her Christmas shopping. Lane’s team was playing an out-of-town basketball game. Thank goodness Kim was almost thirteen; Hannah wouldn’t have had the energy to keep up with a toddler, especially since she had to get up and spend the morning at Breakfast with Santa.
Kim came over after school and helped clean up after the shower, which, of course, Hannah paid her for doing. Then Hannah checked her calendar to make certain she did the necessary things to stay on top of her cooking schedule before collapsing in her recliner while Kim walked to the video store to pick out some sappy movie for them to watch. When she returned, they decided on pizza for dinner. Hannah ordered a meat lovers, extra cheese—clogged arteries be hanged—and they ate it in the den in front of the television from paper plates.
As they ate and watched the movie, Hannah couldn’t help noticing that Kim wasn’t her usual self. Something was wrong, and Hannah had a way of getting out
of her niece information she would never tell her mother.
“What’s wrong, Kim?” Hannah asked, turning off the video and setting her soda on the table. “And don’t say nothing, because I know better than that.”
Kim lowered the piece of pizza she was holding to her paper plate. “Does every kid in the world have some sort of problem growing up?”
Hannah smiled. “All of them I’ve ever known have. Of course some have worse things than others to deal with. What’s wrong, honey? Are you still upset about your dad?”
“No. Not so much anymore. Mr. Harrison has made me see that there’s nothing any of us could have done to stop him, and that we didn’t do anything wrong. Dad’s the one who did wrong.” She dropped her gaze from Hannah’s. “You know he’s marrying Brenda, don’t you?”
“Yes. Your mom told me. Are you worried about having a stepmother?”
“Some, I guess,” Kim said with a grudging shrug. “Brenda’s such a twit. Mom says I’m more mature than she is.” Kim sighed. “At least Callie likes the guy her mom is marrying.”
“I hear he’s a nice man.”
“Yeah. And Mr. Harrison likes him, so that’s good.” She sighed. “Why is it that kids are the ones who have to take the fallout from their parents’ mistakes.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Callie says her mom and Mr. Harrison have different ideas about how she should be treated. Her mom is too strict because she made so many mistakes when she was young, and she doesn’t want Callie to follow in her footsteps. Mr. Harrison says Callie has been brought up right and they have to trust her, that if they keep too tight a rein on her she will do something stupid.”
“It sounds to me as if her mother has a genuine concern, but I’ve known cases where exactly what Callie’s dad says has happened, so that’s a valid argument, too.”
