by Leanne Banks
He nodded. "She talks to me at school."
Maddie nodded. "Do you say anything back?"
"Yeah," he said, then added, "when I can think of something."
Maddie lifted her eyebrows. "Does she make you a little nervous?"
"A little," he conceded, glancing quickly at his father. Fidgeting slightly, he cleared his throat. "When you were in high school, how did guys get you to go out with them?"
Maddie saw how much the question had cost him, and her heart went out to him. It made her chest tighten to think David might be asking her the same kind of question someday. "Well, they called me on the phone. They walked me to class and ate lunch with me. They asked me questions."
"What kind of questions?"
"Oh, what kind of music I liked, what movies I'd seen, what TV shows I watched. Those kind of things."
"I think he's done," Patrick said, since the bottle was empty and David was half-asleep.
"I think you're right." She lifted Davey to her shoulder and gently rubbed his back.
"Did it work?"
Confused, she looked at Patrick. "Did what work?"
"Asking questions and calling you on the phone. Did that make you go out with the guy?"
"Sometimes," she said. "It also depended on whether or not I thought he was cute."
"Oh," he said, his expression saying he didn't think he fell into the cute category. "Did flowers help?"
"Flowers always help, and they don't have to be roses," she told him, but didn't reveal the fact that she had never received flowers from a man. "Little presents help."
"Little?" Patrick's voice cracked in concern.
"Very little," she assured him. "A cassette of a favorite musical group. A key chain with my initial." Maddie was naming the gifts she would have liked to receive, but hadn't. She remembered again how Clyde had always been broke, and she smiled. "What works even more, though, is to listen to her. If you learn to listen well enough, you'll find out what she likes."
"Most women are more obscure than that," Joshua said cynically.
"Listening is a difficult skill for some men to master," she said right back at him.
"Tell her she's pretty. Tell her you like her hair, the way she smells and the way she smiles," Joshua said.
"That worked for you?" Patrick asked.
"Like a charm."
"But if it's a line," Maddie warned, not completely certain which Blackwell she was instructing, "then she may eventually find out, and she'll dump you. It needs to be the truth." She paused. "Tell her how she makes you feel."
"Like I'm gonna throw up?"
Joshua laughed and tossed Maddie a you-asked-for-it glance.
"Your good feelings," she said, looking down her nose at Joshua. "But that's after you go out with her. When you get to know her better, you might change your mind. That's what dating is for."
Patrick nodded. "Yeah, but where do I take her?"
"First date is ice cream," Joshua said. "Cheap and fast. You can't screw up ice cream."
Unable to resist some gentle ribbing, Maddie looked at him in amusement. "I'm surprised you remember back that far."
He gave her a swift glance full of heat and challenge. "Like riding a bike. You never forget."
Maddie felt her heart trip. Joshua reminded her of a bear who'd been hibernating. She'd mistaken him for half-dead, but now he was waking up. And he was hungry for her. She just wasn't sure what would be left of her if he consumed her.
She turned her attention back to Patrick. He was much safer. "This is going to sound hokey, but you would be surprised how much thoughtfulness and good manners will work."
Patrick looked as if he was processing all the information he'd received. "Did you dump many guys?"
"Enough," Maddie said wryly. "I think I attracted a lot of jerks back then." She laughed in memory. "There were some I should have dumped sooner than I did."
"Okay," Patrick said, and stood. "Thanks."
He started to leave the room, then turned around, a thoughtful expression on his face. "What was the best thing any guy ever gave you?"
"Besides David?" she asked, savoring the soft weight of her baby. She heard Joshua's swift intake of breath and knew what he must be thinking. "But you need to remember I'm twenty-seven, out of high school, and I would much prefer sharing the responsibility of raising a child."
"Yeah, I know all about condoms."
"Yeah, well they can break," she muttered under her breath. "Two kinds of birth control are better than one, but you already know that. And I'm sure you already know it's more than bodies that are involved when people have sex, so you need to save it." She shot Joshua a quick glance and sensed his approval.
She smiled at Patrick. "My favorite gift from a guy was a song he wrote for me." She shook her head and sighed. "I've always been a sucker for a guy with a guitar."
A few minutes later Joshua walked with her out to her car. The earlier rain had cleared, and the night air was once again cool. As soon as she tucked David into his car seat and closed the car door, Joshua pressed his chest and lower body against hers, gently trapping her against the car.
She told herself to ignore the way her heart jumped in her chest. "It might be kinda hard for me to get in and drive home."
"You in a rush?" he asked, lowering his mouth to nuzzle her ear.
Maddie shuddered. "Not really. Just don't want to wear out my welcome."
He skimmed his lips over her neck. "No chance."
She tried to stifle a whimper, but didn't completely succeed.
He gave a low growl. "I love the little sounds you make. It makes me wonder how you'd sound in bed."
A wicked, illicit thrill raced through her, but she was tom. "I don't know if that means I should shut up or not."
"Not," he told her. "Have I told you how pretty you are?"
Maddie melted, even though she knew it wasn't true.
He wove his fingers through her hair. "And I like your hair, the color, the way it feels, the way it moves."
Maddie closed her eyes. His hands felt good. His words felt wonderful. "Oh, Joshua."
He nuzzled her again. "I love the way you smell."
"Baby powder."
"It smells sexy on you."
She opened her eyes and laughed lightly. "You're crazy."
"Maybe." He lifted his finger to her lips. "I like the way you smile."
Not certain whether to laugh or cry, Maddie shook her head. "Very good, Joshua. Very good." She pushed hard at his chest and walked around to the driver's side of the car.
"What?" he demanded, following after her. "What?"
"Nice lines," she said. "They almost work like a charm."
"Aw, hell, Maddie, you knew I meant them."
"Well, here's one for you," she tossed back at him as she swung into her seat. "You make me feel like throwing up."
* * *
Joshua checked the window one more time and frowned.
"You don't see her?"
"No." This was the first Wednesday Maddie hadn't shown up with a meal in weeks and weeks. Although Joshua enjoyed her food, he wasn't nearly as concerned about the meal as he was about Maddie.
"You think we should call?" Patrick asked, revealing that he'd grown accustomed to her visits, too.
"Just a few more minutes," Joshua said, though his instinct was to go out looking for her. What if she'd found her way into his crazy neighbor's yard again, and this time the guy had decided to use his shotgun?
He heard a loud roar down his lane and felt a sliver of relief. That was Maddie's muffler. Major pawed at the door.
Patrick glanced at him and nodded. They both went to the door, ready to run down the steps to help her.
Maddie's car door opened, and a man got out with a pizza box. He ran up to the porch. His hair was long, he wore one tiny golden hoop earring, and he was dressed in jeans and a biker T-shirt. "Hey, I'm Ben, Maddie's brother. She can't come tonight. The baby's sick, so she asked me to bring you p
izza. You're Joshua, right?"
Joshua nodded, seeing nothing of Maddie in the man until he looked into Ben's eyes. Same brown, same vitality. "Come in out of the rain and join us."
Ben hesitated a moment, then made a face at her car and shrugged. "Thanks. I think I will. There's two pizzas. Maddie told me to choose, so there's one super supreme and one pepperoni."
"You did good," Joshua said as they moved toward the kitchen. "Patrick will probably chew through the box."
"Da-ad," Patrick said in disgust, still surreptitiously staring at Ben.
Joshua grabbed some cans of soda from the refrigerator. "Bachelor china tonight, Patrick," he said.
Patrick pulled out paper plates and napkins, and Ben grinned in approval. "You mean there's another kind?"
"What's wrong with David?"
Ben shook his head. "Ear infection. She took him to the doctor and got some medicine, but he'll probably be screaming again tonight, poor kid."
Joshua winced. "Again?"
"Yep. She stayed up last night. I'd give her a break tonight, but I'm working the late shift at Tony's Bar." Ben took a bite of pizza and washed it down with soda. "She looks like hell."
An idea nudged at Joshua, and he let it ferment in his mind while he led the conversation in a different direction. "I don't know much about you, except you're the godfather," Joshua said, "and you were initially told Maddie had delivered quintuplets."
Ben chuckled darkly. "That's our Maddie. Keeps us all on our toes." He gave Joshua an assessing glance. "I've gotten an earful about you."
Surprised, Joshua paused mid-bite. He swallowed. "Is that so?"
"Yep, she told me all about you and your son. Said Patrick was real bright. Great kid."
Patrick sat up straighter. "She did?" His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. "She did?" he repeated in a deeper tone.
"Yeah. And she's determined to stick out this meal thing even if it kills her."
A sliver of guilt stung him, and Joshua bit back an oath. "I've tried to get her to stop. It's not necessary."
"Forget it," Ben said. "She's made up her mind. She says you were there when she needed somebody and she won't forget it." Ben paused and flicked a mushroom off his pizza. "That's a new experience for Maddie, especially with a man. My dad traveled a lot when we were growing up, so he wasn't around much. And Clyde," Ben said in disgust, "was never around. That guy was more of a flake than Maddie. Talented, but he didn't deserve her."
He glanced at Joshua again, as if he were assessing him. "There's more to Maddie than meets the eye," he said in a soft, but firm voice.
Joshua took a second look at Ben again. He heard a subtle warning in his voice. The brother looking out for his sister. With the way Joshua felt about Maddie, perhaps someone should be looking out for her.
* * *
Late that night Joshua was restless and unable to sleep. He prowled through the den and kitchen, drank a glass of milk and ate a packaged cookie. Making a face as he ate the dry, tasteless cookie, he realized this was probably one of the reasons why he'd never gotten fat. His cooking sure wasn't anything to brag about, and he'd never possessed the knack for finding the good stuff at the grocery store. If he ate Maddie's cooking on a more regular basis, he'd bet he would be breaking the scale.
Joshua frowned. He had grown accustomed to seeing her once a week. He looked forward to it, sometimes even felt impatient about it. Feeling the burn of hunger inside him, he suspected the sensation had nothing to do with food and everything to do with Maddie.
He would like to think it was just sex, but something about Mad Maddie got under his skin and grabbed his heart. He wondered if she was walking the floor with David tonight. He remembered the loneliness of being the sole person responsible for a small child, and the idea of her fighting off the exhaustion during another long night nagged at him.
He rolled his shoulders and tried to dismiss the image, but it nagged and pulled and tugged. The same idea that had struck him during dinner nudged at him again.
"A crazy idea," he muttered, glancing at the kitchen clock which read 11:30 p.m. "Crazy."
Walking back to his room, he shoved on jeans, a shirt, socks and shoes, all the while muttering about "his freakin' crazy idea." He woke Patrick long enough to tell him where he would be, then took off in his truck.
With no traffic, he made the trip in thirty-five minutes. He was just going to check on her, he told himself, planning to keep his craziness to himself. If her town house was dark, he would turn around and go back home without even knocking on her door.
There was, however, a light.
He tapped lightly and waited, then tapped again. This was nuts, he thought, and was just turning to leave when the door opened.
With David propped on her shoulder and sucking his pacifier like there was no tomorrow, Maddie stared at Joshua for a full unblinking moment. He saw the wear and tear of the past twenty-four hours on her face. Shadows under her eyes, tousled hair, she wore a Betty Boop nightshirt. The sight of her self-consciously rubbing her damp cheeks and ducking her head turned him inside out. She was a mess, and he couldn't remember when a woman had affected him more.
"I heard you were having a rough night."
She nodded and sniffed. "You sure you want to join our sobfest?"
He bit back a grin and shrugged. "I didn't have anything better to do."
Maddie groaned in misery. "What about sleep?"
Already tried and couldn't, he thought wryly. "You gonna let me in?"
"Oh, sorry," she said as if the idea hadn't occurred to her. She stepped aside. "I wasn't expecting you."
"Or anyone else after midnight," Joshua murmured, and followed her into the den.
"Midnight?" She squinted her eyes at a porcelain clock on the fireplace mantel as she paced. "I hadn't noticed. Do you want coffee or milk or—"
"I want you to sit down," Joshua said, wondering if she was going to faint from exhaustion. He had the strongest urge to pick her up and carry her to bed, but he suspected she would protest.
Maddie glanced at him and shook her head. "No can do. Studmuffin here has got a killer earache, and walking him is his only relief. I can't bear to hear him cry anymore."
"Medicine?"
She continued to pace. "Yep. The doctor said it should kick in within twenty-four to forty-eight hours."
"You haven't asked why I came," Joshua said.
"No." Maddie gave a light laugh. "I guess I'm getting a little punchy."
"Ben said you had a rough night last night, too."
She nodded and focused on the pattern of her carpet.
"I remember how staying up with Patrick was rough sometimes. Makes for a helluva long night."
She nodded again.
"So I thought I'd take over for a while."
Maddie nodded yet again, continuing to pace.
Her lack of responsiveness made him uneasy. "Maddie, did you hear what I said?"
She looked up at him and blinked. "Gosh, I wish the room would stop moving."
For Pete's sake, the woman was practically swooning. He extended his arms. "Give me the little one, babe."
She frowned as if trying to understand. "Pardon?"
"I said, give me David, and you go to bed."
She closed her eyes. "No. Geez, I wish my equilibrium would get its act together. Don't worry. David'll settle down in a little while and—"
"You'll fall flat on your face if you don't get some sleep," Joshua said firmly. He gave a little flick of his fingers. "Give him to me."
Her gaze met his, and he could see that he had penetrated the thick fog of her weariness. He sensed she was finally seeing him for the first time this evening. A mixture of emotions played across her face. He watched her let go of her defenses just a little. Relief and trust smoothed her features. She trusted him. It was odd as hell, but her trust made him feel taller, stronger.
Even odder was the fact that underneath her weariness and all the other emotions, he knew she
wanted him. It was more than a physical want, though it included desire. She wanted him for the man he was, inside and out. The wanting laid bare in her eyes rocked him.
"Just for an hour," she said, and handed David over to him, patting her baby and making sure his pacifier was secure. "Any longer wouldn't be fair. I'm not sure this is."
She looked at Joshua again and shook her head, gratitude shining in her brown gaze. "You're an amazing man," she whispered, then rose on tiptoe and lightly kissed him. "Amazing. All I need is an hour. Wake me in an hour. Okay?"
"Sure."
Maddie awoke when the first sliver of sunlight peeked through the crack in her curtains. She lay still for a moment, sensing something wasn't quite right. She glanced quickly at David's bassinet and found it empty. The light dawned in more ways than one. She remembered Joshua and winced. He'd stayed all night. He must be exhausted.
Pushing off the covers, she scrambled downstairs and stopped dead at the entrance to her den. Joshua sat in the rocking chair, his feet spread apart on the floor, his large hands holding David securely against his chest and his head tipped forward.
David was sleeping. So was Joshua.
A rush of emotion squeezed her heart like a vice. Maddie took a deep breath. It almost hurt to look. To see a man hold David with such tenderness and care was the stuff of her dreams. She wanted David to have everything he needed, and as much as she tried, she could never be Daddy too. She'd just assumed she would have to go it alone, and though she knew Joshua wasn't in the market for a baby son, it was tempting to play with the magical thought for a moment.
What if Joshua fell in love with her and her baby and wanted to keep them both? What if…
Maddie shook herself and sighed. Get a grip. She couldn't blame herself for the momentary flight of fancy. For Pete's sake, when had any man inconvenienced himself for her well-being? Never, that she could remember. But she didn't want Joshua that way, she reminded herself. The reminder, however, was becoming more and more difficult for her to believe.
Stepping forward, she lightly pressed the back of her hand against David's forehead. Fever all gone. The tension inside her eased a little more, and she looked at Joshua again. His jaw was shadowed with a morning beard, his hair dark and tousled, his eyelashes, black spiky fans. His shirt was wrinkled, probably damp from baby drool.
