I laughed dryly. “You and me both.” I glanced at his other hand and back at him. “The way you looked at me yesterday—it was pretty steamy. I…had no idea.”
After a moment, he drew a deep breath. His expression was serious, and a little guarded. “I didn’t want to scare you. I’m a lucky chap, best friends with the two most beautiful girls in the theater. I’d hate to ruin that.”
I looked down, slightly embarrassed by the frankness of his compliment. “Me too.”
He leaned a little closer. “What changed? Why aren’t you afraid anymore?”
The same question I’d been asking myself. “I still am afraid, but it’s getting better. I don’t know why. But…” Should I say it? My fist tightened around the fabric of my skirt. “I think it’s partly because of you.”
“Me?”
I nodded. “You are good and sweet. You make me feel safe.”
“You mean, I’m boring.”
My eyes flew to his face. There was a glint of amusement there, but also a shadow of worry. “No! Not boring at all. I think you’re lots of fun.”
“Fun?” He gave me an expectant look. “That’s all?”
I was screwing this up so badly. My mouth felt dry. Where were my powers of flirtation when I needed them? Forget flirtation—for Raymond, I’d better just tell the truth. “I think—” My voice cracked. “That is, I like…to look. At you, I mean.”
The barest smirk curved his lips. “So you are attracted to me.”
I nodded, feeling utterly shy—which was totally cogged because it was Raymond of all people.
“I’m glad,” he whispered. “I like looking at you, too.” Behind the round framed spectacles, his eyes, a swirl of color like fog on the beach at sunset, drew me in and I couldn’t turn away.
He touched my cheek again and slid his hand down to my neck. He cupped the back of my head, his eyes never leaving mine. They were full of a tender heat and uncertainty as he leaned toward me.
My heart raced. A weird tightness made my stomach hurt. It was too much. Too fast.
His face flashed in my mind. Leering. Cruel.
But a little fuzzy around the edges, like a painting that got wet and smeared. Still, a sick sort of disgust rolled through me. At what I’d done. He had forced me to do it, but it was still bad.
I stiffened. In my mind, I didn’t believe anymore that I was dirty or to blame, but old habits, old feelings don’t change so easily. Even though I desperately wanted them to.
Immediately, Raymond froze. He gave me a questioning look.
“I…can’t,” I whispered. “Not quite yet. I’m so sorry.”
His eyes closed briefly, but he didn’t look upset. When he opened them again, all I saw was kindness. He pulled me against him, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He smoothed my hair. “Don’t ever apologize to me. Not for that. All right?”
I nodded against him and fought back tears. What was it with me this week? I almost never cried, and now it was as if I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know if the goodness of these two men could ever totally make up for what I’d suffered at the hands of one monster, but for the first time in years, I had hope. Hope that maybe someday I’d be able to trust and love and be like other normal girls. Maybe someday, the monster’s face would dim to only a shadow, like the memory of a long ago nightmare. Just that baby amount of hope hurt, but in a good way, like an injury on the mend.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
He hugged me in response. It felt so…good.
The door creaked open one more time. “There you—oh!” Thea’s greeting ended on a gasp.
I sat up and wiped away a few tears, not sure how to explain what she’d walked in on. “Don’t stand there looking horrified,” I said, sniffling. “Come in.”
She looked a bit like someone had sucker-punched her. But she managed a weak smile and shuffled further into the room. No one spoke.
Thea didn’t look at Raymond, just at me. “Are you…all right?”
I knew that wasn’t what she wanted to ask. She wanted to know how I’d managed to let Raymond hold me. What it meant. How long it had been going on. Why I hadn’t told her. But she wouldn’t ask those things. Not right away, anyhow.
I scooted over to make room for her on the bench. “I’m tired. I’m worried about this project. And I’m afraid I just got emotional all over Raymond’s suit jacket.”
He tugged on the lapels of his jacket. “It was designed specifically to be cried on by females. Said so on the label.”
Thea smiled at him finally. She sat next to me on the bench and put her arm around my shoulders. “You poor dear. I wish there was something we could do to help.”
I patted her hand on my shoulder. “I know. I do, too.”
She leaned around me to see Raymond. “I was coming to find you to see how your play was coming along. Will we have a script soon?”
His smile looked a bit embarrassed. “I hope so. I think I have an idea for it. A story about zombies.”
“That’s a big change from wanting to write about the injustices of the empire,” I told him.
“Not really,” he said, grinning. “It’s all going to be symbolic—the unjust control of the empire and its oppression of the people.”
Thea looked doubtful. “Sounds depressing.”
“Not if I do it right. Should be suspenseful, gothic. Like Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.”
“Well, if anyone can do it, you can,” I said.
Thea nodded. “Oh! I also wanted to tell you both that I’ve decided to get a group of us together to go to the Theatrical Guild’s Season Opener party at the Airship Club on Monday night. Since we’re eighth-years, we get to attend this year.”
The start-of-the-season party at the Airship Club was not the fanciest gala that the Guild put on every year, but it was one of the most fun. The Airship Club was basically a high-end nightclub, and the party was just that—an informal get-together to celebrate the beginning of the new production season for all the theaters in Aldwych. Great live music. Dancing. Drinking. But a lot of networking happened there, too, and it was a good place to make connections—especially for apprentices who would be looking for employment in only a few months. We’d heard for years how terrific it was, and now it was our turn to go.
“That’s a really great idea, Thea.” I shifted to look at her. “You are so good at getting people together.”
She ducked her head, her cheeks reddening. “We’d all be going anyway, but it’s more fun to go in a group.”
“I agree,” I said. “I’m in.”
Thea glanced around at Raymond. He smiled and nodded.
“Good,” she said.
I couldn’t tell her that I had another reason to attend that night. Dietrich had already informed Delphine and me that he had arranged a meeting there with the three presuls who were directing the nights of the previous Peacock murders. He was hoping that if he talked to them, presul to presul, he might be able to uncover some more clues about the murders. There were things about presul magic that only another presul would know about. Things a police investigator or a journalist would never know to ask. I was hopeful I’d be allowed to listen in, but regardless, Dietrich promised to tell us anything he learned.
The wall clock in the studio chimed eight o’clock.
“Bloody hell.” I jumped up and gathered my metal and other supplies to shove them in my locker. I swept my sketchbook into my bag. “I have to go.”
“Where?” Raymond asked.
“Um…a meeting. Can’t say.”
“As usual.”
Thea’s eyes narrowed. I could feel her reading me—not totally invading my mind, but feeling around the edges. Enough to figure out where I was heading. “Minx.” Her tone was disapproving. “Tell me you’re not.”
“Fine, I’m not.”
She scowled. “I don’t believe you.”
I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Then why did you ask? See you both tomorrow!” I waved and ran o
ut the door, Thea’s protests ringing in my ears.
I hoped Delphine would still be waiting for me at the storage room.
She was still waiting. But I had to put up with a self-righteous lecture on punctuality pretty much the whole way to the Coggled Noggin. This time, the trip went fine—no alligators or rozzers or girl fights in the alley. I found Phineas and Benjamin again, and they were delighted to see me. Delphine was as brilliant as before. And after the performance, we sped back to the theater, awkwardly trying to find topics safe enough to talk about without getting into an argument.
We slid back through the grate opening, into the darkened storage room. I held my little electric torch so she could refasten the grate.
Suddenly, the brightness of a large electric torch blinded us from the doorway to the storage room.
“Would you like help with that, ladies?” a masculine voice drawled sarcastically.
I screamed.
We scrambled to turn around. Trying to calm my breathing, I squinted to peer past the light. It lowered, and I saw who had discovered us.
A really pissed-off Dietrich.
Thea, arms crossed and looking furious, stood next to him.
Chapter Fourteen
“You ratted us out to him?” I screeched to Thea. And then cringed—what was the world coming to when I was taking sides with Delphine against my best friend?
Apparently, Thea felt the same sense of the universe tilting on its axis. “Ratted? I’ve been so worried about you the last five days, I haven’t been able to sleep.” Her words gushed out, passionate and unsteady, her cheeks scarlet. “Not that you’ve noticed. You’ve been far too busy with your secret meetings and your projects. And I haven’t pried or questioned you. I didn’t even take a peek into your head because I wouldn’t do that to you. But I still can sense—something huge is wrong, and it’s ripping my heart to pieces that you don’t trust me enough to tell me what it is.”
Her concern touched me far more deeply than I was prepared to admit. I folded my arms and stared her down. “And if you trusted me enough, you wouldn’t have gone tattling to Dietrich.”
“I was scared Delphine had trapped you into something awful!”
“Thanks a lot, bitch.” Delphine hefted her bag onto her shoulder and took a step toward the door. “This sounds like it’s going to be a really entertaining argument, but I’m exhausted. I’m off to bed now. Have fun.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” Dietrich’s soft voice was steely and authoritative. “You jeopardized our entire project by not telling me about your side job. Your illegal side job.”
Delphine inhaled and glared at me. “How does he know about that?”
“I told him,” Thea said.
Then they were both shouting at each other, and I couldn’t even untangle what they were saying. I sank down on a dusty wooden crate and put my head in my hands.
“Enough,” Dietrich said quietly. Neither girl heard him, and he said it again, louder. “Enough!”
The two halted mid-argument and stared at him.
He narrowed his eyes at Delphine and me. “Sneaking out was irresponsible, dangerous, and stupid. And completely selfish at this point. What would happen to Nadine if you two disappeared?”
“I’ve been doing this for three years,” Delphine said, chin high. “Nothing was going to happen.”
“You’re only saying that because nothing ever has,” I pointed out. “But you’ve been one false move away from disaster the whole time.”
“I had everything under control.”
“Oh yes, definitely. The blackmail letter was a clear sign of you having the situation completely in hand.”
“Bloody hell, Minx!” Delphine’s bag slid to the ground with a thud. “Should have known you wouldn’t keep your promise.”
“Blackmail letter?” Dietrich’s expression grew even stonier and more serious.
She and I both started explaining at once. Dietrich grimaced, shut his eyes, and held up his hands. “Hold it. Both of you—quiet.”
He pointed at Delphine. “We are going to have a talk. And you are going to tell me exactly what is going on.” Then he gestured to me. “You. You’re going to take your friend back to your room and tell her about the Peacock and what we’re working on.”
“She can’t!” Delphine looked like she was about to stamp her foot like a spoiled child.
“I’m saying she can,” Dietrich replied softly, iron in his voice. “It’s better for her to know at this point than imagine the worst, and she may be able to help us.” He stood at the door and motioned to the hall beyond. “No more arguments. Let’s go.”
After it was all talked through and hammered out, Dietrich informed us that he would now be Delphine’s escort for the rest of her performances. When I revealed that the news about the Peacock had come from a source of Delphine’s at the Coggled Noggin, I was able to persuade him to let me continue accompanying them—on the basis that we may be able to question the source further about the Peacock. Then Thea said she would be coming too—because her psychic magic could be useful during questioning.
So it was that the next night, Saturday, the four of us all met again at the storage room to sneak out together. Delphine wore the injured air of someone whose life has been unfairly ruined by a bunch of idiots. Thea seemed thrilled not to be left at home again. I just hoped the trip would be worth it and that I wouldn’t kill Delphine before the Peacock had a chance.
And Dietrich? I had no idea what he thought. But that only made me more determined to find out.
Delphine tromped across the expanse toward the utility tunnel entrance on the other side. Dietrich and I trudged after her, he with a large electric torch, and I with my harness packed full of gadgety goodies. Thea trailed behind us, staring up at the roof of the cavern and the giant pillars holding up the theater, entranced by this new world.
I finally dropped back a few steps to grab her arm. “If you gawk all the way there, we won’t arrive until after midnight. Delphine has a schedule to keep.”
She picked up the pace a little. “It’s just amazing—you’d never know all this is here from the outside.”
“Just wait until you see the tunnels.”
By the time we reached the second grate, Delphine was already ducking through. Dietrich motioned to us. “Ladies first.”
I hated this first tunnel. But seeing Dietrich standing by it, sensing the usual pressure of his presul magic, made it a thousand times worse. My stomach felt full of stones, and my mouth went dry as the dust on the floor of the cavern. But I didn’t want anyone to know. “You go first,” I told Thea, coughing a little.
She gave me a quick, assessing glance, but stooped to enter the tunnel. I drew a deep breath, trying to steady my pulse, and followed her, bent at the waist. No thinking, just walking. No paying attention to the sound of Dietrich’s footsteps behind me. Just walking.
Dietrich’s light cast long shadows along the narrow walls, highlighting the low ceiling. The grate creaked shut. The sound echoed down the tunnel. I froze, letting out a little moan.
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move.
Couldn’t stand up. The tunnel seemed to narrow on me. I felt dizzy.
Presul magic flowed around me. I dropped to my knees in the rubble, shuddering. That blank, dead place I used to go to in my mind when things got really bad called to me now.
But then I felt the electric prickles of Thea’s psychic magic all over me. “Minx?” She couldn’t turn around, but I heard the worry in her voice. I let her into my mind because I still couldn’t speak.
I heard her shuffling ahead of me, and when she spoke again, she had managed to turn around and crouch in front of me. “All right. Everything’s going to be fine.” She put her hand on my head, stroking my hair gently.
“What’s wrong?” Dietrich, behind me, sounded concerned.
“She’s frightened of small spaces.”
“Let me—”
I cringed. Thea s
at up a little. “No. You’ll just make it worse.”
“Oh.”
I could feel his hurt and confusion. He shuffled further back toward the grate.
“Are you able to help her?”
“I think so.”
She leaned over me. “Come on, Minx. You can do it.” Then she whispered near my ear, “You don’t want Delphine to notice, do you?”
I shook my head, still unable to raise it.
“All right then, you’ve got to get through. But I’m here. If you were back in that place, I wouldn’t be here, right?”
The thought made my heart rate slow down the tiniest bit. I took a deep, slow breath.
“That’s right. Breathe. See? Everything is going to be fine.” She caught my hand, and I gripped it tightly.
I heard footsteps in front of us. “What is taking you all so long?” Delphine’s voice rang sharply against the tunnel walls.
“We’re coming!” Thea called back to her. Then in a lower voice, “See? Unless you want to rust her gears, we’d better hurry. She’s not very far ahead of us—and she’s standing upright. That will be us in just a few more steps.”
Her voice washed over me like calm, cool water. I lifted my head and saw her shadowed face, the compassion in her slate blue eyes.
Don’t leave me. I told her in my mind.
She shook her head. “I promise.”
Another deep breath. Then I struggled to my feet, hunching over in the still too-small tunnel. I brushed the dust off my skirt as best as I could.
Thea stood as well, but she didn’t try to turn around. Instead, she took my hand and stepped backwards. “Just look at me and take a step.”
I did. She coaxed me to take another, and another. My eyes didn’t leave her face. She walked backwards, slowly, talking to me, encouraging me and smiling, all the way to the end of that first tunnel.
When the tunnel finally widened, I stood upright and threw my arms around her. “Thank you,” I said against her shoulder.
She hugged me. “Of course.”
“What is going on, you two?” Delphine demanded.
Chains of Silver: a YA Theater Steampunk Novel (Alchemy Empire Book 1) Page 12
