Charity sought his lips, blissfully happy by his avowal of love. Before the kiss could heat up she couldn’t stop a little laugh from slipping out.
Brandon pulled away. “Something funny?” His hair was mussed and a strand of hay fell over his eye. She thought he’d never looked more handsome.
“Just something Luke told me once.”
He went up on his elbow and gazed down into her face. “And what was that?”
Again she laughed, unable to contain her happiness. “To be careful who I rolled in the hay with.”
Brandon’s eyebrow cocked up humorlessly. “You make a habit of this?”
Right then the barn doors banged open and Charity all but gasped. Brandon’s eyes widened, then sparkled with mischief.
“Come on, Chester,” Cradle said. A creaking sound attested to the fact Cradle was taking Chester out of his stall. He clucked to the old gelding, then there was a jingling sound as Cradle went about harnessing him. “Hey, Theodore, you mind mucking out Chester’s stall while he’s out for a while.”
“Nope. I’ll do it now.”
Brandon pulled Charity closer. “So, you want to marry me?” he asked quietly. Charity was terrified of getting caught in the loft, and by Brandon’s expression, he knew exactly what she was thinking. She tried to shush him but he came in closer and resumed where he’d left off, kissing the corner of her mouth and nibbling on her lips. His spell once again wrapped around her and she almost forgot the threat of discovery from below. She leaned in, then drew back quickly when Theodore laughed at something.
Brandon whispered, “It’s just kissing.”
She clamped her hand over his mouth.
“Did you say something?” Cradle called from the other side of the barn.
“Nope,” Theodore answered. The squeaky wheel from the wheelbarrow screeched out, followed by the shuffling of straw.
“Hey, boys. I need to get our horses rigged and a buggy hitched. We’re going home. Winnie is plain wore out and I’d rather drive her than have her ride. How long will it take?”
Charity’s mouth went dry. Uncle Winston!
“That’s what I’m doing now. Saw Tucker out on the street and he said you’d be wanting a buggy. I’ll have Chester ready in a couple of minutes, then I’ll tack up your horses. Won’t take me long.”
“Thanks, Cradle, appreciate it. How is Theo…”
Charity felt something crawling up her leg and kicked out in reflex. The hay rustled loudly and the talking in the livery stopped.
“Oh, damn,” Brandon whispered into her ear. “That may’ve done it.”
Charity lifted her head, frantically looking for somewhere to hide. Muffled voices floated up from downstairs past her panicked senses, then she heard the barely audible scrape of boots on ladder rungs. Brandon sat up and pulled her up with him. He quickly brushed long strands of alfalfa from her hair, then waved at Cradle when his head poked over the wooden landing.
The livery keeper’s eyes went wide in surprise, then crinkled in understanding. He looked from one side to the next, then shrugged. “Nope. Nothing up here, Mr. McCutcheon,” he called down. “Must have been a mouse.” He chuckled, then stared back down the ladder. “Or, maybe two.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
John was aware of Dustin watching as he escorted Lily out the door and over the few steps to her shop. He felt bad, but not all that much. Life was hard. Hurt was an everyday occurrence. Something had to give between him and Dustin, and as he opened the door for Lily to go in, he knew it wasn’t going to be him.
The place was quiet, the smell of smoke strong. He still couldn’t believe Boone had broken out of jail and come back for the jewel. So much could have gone wrong. He was thankful that it hadn’t.
“She must be sleeping,” Lily said softly. “She usually calls down if she hears the bell.”
“She’s been sleeping a lot lately, hasn’t she?”
Lily nodded. “And there is more.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tonight she was very confused. She thought I was her sister, not her niece. She insisted on calling me Gretchen. I did not know what to do and I did not want to upset her, so I just went along.”
“Maybe she’s just shaken from the events tonight. I’m sure it was very traumatic for her. Or—”
“What?”
“She may be slipping into senility. We need to remember Harriett is old. Plus, coming off her dependence to morphine may have added to her confusion. It’s hard to know for sure. I just want you to be prepared if she should get worse.”
Lily nodded. “I am prepared, John. I hope she is not becoming senile. How sad for her. And us.”
When she started for the stairs John reached for her hands. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
Lily looked at him with a thousand questions in her eyes. He’d never felt compelled to share this with anyone, not even Emmeline when they’d gotten engaged. Now he was almost eager to get it off his chest. “When I was a boy I killed a man. A good man.” He took a deep breath. “A friend of our family.”
Lily didn’t turn away in horror or disgust, but waited for him to continue.
“He was a merchant delivering some panes of glass for a broken window. I was nine years old, home alone. When I heard a crash downstairs I thought someone was breaking in. I grabbed my gun and ran downstairs. I didn’t mean to shoot him, but I did. Killed him in cold blood.”
“Why are you telling me this, John? I do not understand. I am sure God knows you were just a boy. Let it go. Forgive yourself. I am sure he has done that long ago.”
Overwhelmed, he closed his eyes. He felt an unfamiliar stirring. Something flittering in his gut until he recognized it for what it was…the forgiveness he’d been holding back. After all these years he was able to forgive himself and that forgiveness flowed within, and brought with it an indescribable joy he’d never experienced before. Overcome with something surreal and bright, something bordering on extreme ecstasy, he said, “You heard Emmeline tonight? And Chaim?”
“I did.”
“Well?”
“What are you asking me?” Her face flushed. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to know the answer to his question. Had more happened between her and Dustin than he’d realized? It easily could have.
She straightened as he waited for an answer. The words jumbled in his head and he cursed himself for not planning out the best way of going about this. He’d jumped in like a…
“Just wondering—well—if—I want to tell you—that—” Damn, this was harder than he thought. With Emmeline, she’d always helped. Naturally flirtatious, she’d been able to read him like a book, and liked the fun of the chase. Lily was the opposite. Her naiveté was as real as the thudding of his unexpectedly shy heart.
“I was curious,” John began again, “if you realized that if Chaim and Emmeline were sweet on each other that meant, well, I was now free.” Annoyed at how assuming that sounded, he snorted. Here I am, Lily. Come’n get me.
Appalled, he raked his hand though his hair. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that.” He shrugged and tried again: “What I’m trying to say is that I’m no longer engaged. And, since I’m no longer engaged, I was wondering if you’d consider—” What? Being my wife? Marrying me tonight? He almost laughed at the absurdity of how that statement sounded—even more outrageous than his last one, even if it was true. Since meeting Lily he’d changed. He’d never felt more sure about anything in his life. “—going to the Fourth of July celebration with me?” he finished, chickening out.
“Is that what this is all about? You silly goose. That is two weeks away.”
“I know.” He gave her hands a gentle tug and pulled her into his embrace. She fit perfectly and felt so right.
“Lily, I can’t lie,” he said into her hair that smelled like sweet honeysuckle. “I’ve been drawn to you since we first met. I tried to deny it to myself. Tried to stay away, stay honorable to Emmeline, but I must admit, it�
��s been difficult. Then when I went out yesterday to talk to Emmeline, determined to break it off, well, I don’t want to betray a confidence, but let me just say, she was in total agreement about ending our engagement.”
Lily took a step back, needing a little space, a moment to absorb everything John had just said. In one split second it was as if all her prayers had been answered. Did he have any idea that she had felt the same attraction to him since boarding the Wells Fargo stagecoach? Could he possibly know about the butterflies that practically lived in her stomach whenever he was close?
“You’re killing me,” John stated, seriously. He hadn’t taken his eyes from her face since his unexpected statement. “You have noticed Emmeline doting on Chaim at every moment, haven’t you?”
In that moment the realization of the situation sunk in. She began to shiver in excitement and shock. “I have. I didn’t know what to think.”
John closed the distance between them, desire easily recognizable in his eyes. “But, you still haven’t said anything about us.”
He pulled her close, and she felt sure he was going to kiss her, but she wanted to say something first. She stopped him with a hand on his chest and almost giggled when his brows fell in disappointment.
“Lily?”
“I have many, many feelings for you, John. So much more that I thought possible to feel for a man. It has been difficult not to let them show, or come to the surface. I did not want to do anything that might hurt you if your destiny was with Emmeline.”
John wrapped her in the safe haven of his arms. His lips found hers, warm and inviting. The kiss was gentle, questioning. She leaned into him, needing more—something to prove she wasn’t asleep and this was a dream and she’d soon awaken to utter disappointment. A thousand times she had dreamt of this moment, been tempted to allow her thoughts to wander and make believe—but she knew thoughts like those only lead to heartbreak. So she had stayed her desires, wishing only the best for him. But now, because dreams sometimes really do come true, she did not have to imagine what it would feel like to be in John’s arms anymore, imagine what it felt like to have his lips on hers and to kiss him passionately. Now that she was here, she never wanted to leave this spot, this moment.
John cupped her face, drinking in the softness of her lips, the velvety feel of her supple skin. “There’s more I want to say to you. Much more.” His hands stray down her back. “Lily, I love you. I want you to be my wife. Before you say anything, just listen to what I have to say. I know you think this is sudden, but it’s not really, not for me. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. We were meant for each other. Of that, I’m confident.”
“Marry you?” She wanted to pinch herself.
“I can’t live without you.” He kissed her again. “The sooner the better.”
Lily realized this was her destiny calling. Tomorrow she might be dead. Look at poor Sheriff Dane. He surely did not realize today was going to be his last. She nuzzled closer, knowing he was the only man she’d ever want. “Yes. I will marry you. I…I love you, too.” Joy burst inside her at finally being able to tell him. “But, what about Chaim and Emmeline?”
“What do you mean?” he asked. His face was radiant.
“Will we be stealing their thunder, so to speak? Especially if we marry so quickly?”
“They won’t care. They’re just so happy that they found each other they probably won’t even notice. It’s amazing, isn’t it? All the things that have happened. When are you thinking? The sooner the better.”
Lily glanced away. Her Mütti’s loving face came into her thoughts, reminding her of her mother’s request. Others might get married by a justice of the peace, but that prospect made Lily’s heart heavy. She just had to bring it up, and suddenly realized she didn’t know everything about John after all.
“What?” he asked softly.
“It would mean everything to me…”
“Yes, Lily? Tell me.”
“My parents asked only one thing of me before I left Germany. That when I got married, to do it in the church. By a priest. It is the faith I was raised in. And means so much to me. I know there is a church here but…”
“Of course! Anywhere you want. By anyone you want. You just say where and I’ll do my best to make your dreams come true.”
“Is there a mission nearby?”
“Not too far. San Antonio. It’s a little over a day’s ride by wagon. We’ll make a holiday of it and then go back every year on our anniversary. I think it’s a wonderful idea. Everyone will be happy for us, Lily. You’ll see—extremely happy.” He stopped. “Well, maybe Dustin won’t. What about him?”
Dustin hadn’t even crossed her mind. “I feel for him, but, I tried not to lead him on.”
“What about your family? You once told me you’d return to Germany someday.”
She kissed his cheek, then brushed her lips to his, enjoying his reaction to her caresses. “You are my family now, John. I only want to be where you are. I could never have understood that before I fell in love with you, of course.” She smiled. “I will just have to bring some of my sisters to West Texas, where they can find their own cowboy husbands to love.”
He smiled. “And, the jewel? I assume you’ve talked to Harriett and found its origin?”
“All is well. I know everything and you need not give it another thought.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes. Now that that horrible man is dead, all is fine.” She hoped that was the complete truth. For now, she thought it was.
John looked at her for a long moment as if deliberating on her words, then kissed her thoroughly, passionately, until her senses thrummed with anticipation. Everything else in her life paled in comparison.
Chapter Fifty-Four
Lily hurried to the wagon where John was loading her travel bag, and Brandon and Charity sat their horses, ready to go. “Up you go,” he said, taking her hand and helping her in. “The morning couldn’t be more beautiful. Look at all the stars.”
She studied the dark canopy above. “So much has happened in three days. It seems like a dream. I am excited to see San Antonio. And the Mission too, of course.” She snuggled close to his side.
“Is that all you’re excited for? I was hoping there might be something else occupying your thoughts.” He tweaked her nose, then laughed as he gathered the reins. Uncle Winston’s eight well-armed men mounted up. His uncle wanted to make sure they made it to Mission San José y San Miguel de Aguayo and home again in one piece. The cowboys, all in extremely good humor, were somewhat flummoxed at their extraordinarily fine fortune. Three days of hanging around San Antonio—a town filled with restaurants, saloons and beautiful women—hardly felt like work at all.
Being early, Dr. Bixby was the only additional person on the boardwalk to see the group off. The others had said their farewells the night before in a small pre-wedding celebration. John waved to Bixby. “See you in a few days, old timer. Take good care of everyone.”
“You can count on it, young rooster,” was his gravelly reply. “Just don’t get to crowing too loud.” He watched the wagon and horses pull out of sight.
“I’m so relieved Chaim is doing so well,” Charity said, riding next to the wagon.
“He’s rallied like a true McCutcheon,” Brandon added, riding on Charity’s other side. “And why wouldn’t he with Emmeline and the rest of the family doting on his every whim. I think he’s actually enjoying his convalescence.”
John nodded and smiled. Unfortunately, he’d had to dash Harriett’s idea of coming along. The trip would be too strenuous. She’d finally seen the truth in his words, relenting. “I will be there with you in spirit,” she’d said, overjoyed at their decision to marry. Madeline had generously volunteered to take care of her, promising them she’d watch over her as if she were her own. And, not to be left out, Theodore and Tucker had vowed that by the time they returned Lily’s shop would be as good as new.
“You sure you haven’t forg
otten anything?” John asked. He liked the way her face deepened in color thinking about the intimate things he was sure she’d packed away in the suitcase. Ever since the announcement, the women folk had been a- buzz with excitement, all but keeping Lily hidden from him, filling her head with who knew what. “We’re going to be in San Antonio for three whole days.”
“Your aunt made sure I have everything I could possibly need. And then some. She is a real help to me, along with your cousins—and sister, of course.”
“Of course,” he teased. “And it doesn’t matter if you did forget anything because I’d buy you whatever it was, or anything else your heart desires.”
Lily hugged him tighter. “Then you will not have to part with any of your money because my heart only desires you.”
John tucked Lily’s hand into the crook of his arm and started for the Mission in the town square. From the corner of her eye, Lily saw several people stop to smile at them in the late afternoon shade. She carried a small bouquet of daffodils and early spring roses held together with a pink sash, giving a splash of color to the ivory dress that John’s aunt had borrowed from one of her friends. It fit her perfectly and had a lovely cape that draped over her shoulders, then hung midway down her back, making her feel beautiful.
A woman called out to them, seemingly overcome with emotion. She blew them a kiss, followed by some kind of greeting in Spanish as she watched their promenade to the church. John nodded, and pulled Lily’s hand up to his chest, drawing her closer. “Excited?”
“Yes,” she replied. “This is the day every little girl dreams of.”
Looking up into his eyes, she felt incredibly shy. His eyes sparkled with warmth, and a promise of things to come. Gently, his thumb grazed across her trembling fingers, and he gave them a little squeeze. He was breathtakingly handsome in a suit she’d never seen before. His hair, ruffled by the balmy breeze, shone in the sun and smelled wonderful. Even his scar, something they shared between them and would always remind her of their first true encounter, was attractive to her. She stayed her hand from reaching up and caressing it.
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