The Pink Heist

by Adam El Shalakany

  "I like to know what I'm worrying about Mancy. Don't give me those crocodile tears. I don't like this vague worrying in the air. It's not right, a man should know what's going to kill him."

  "Or her, hon'." Captain Pippy said.

  "Or it." Zenbot said.

  "Suit yourselves. I still don't know what's on the other side." Mancy hid her face behind her arms, hugging herself.

  The others all stared into the fire, and then to VII who lay asleep by the gate. They turned their gaze down the ridge at the tentacled blasticore and the mercenaries' gunfire, the bounty hunters' lasers, and the occasional slice of Jack's sword.

  "They're going to be here in a minute. We won't make it in time." Zenbot looked over to Mr. Qruise. "We are going to have to do something a little dangerous. Mr. Qruise….I need you to be afraid."

  "I am afraid. I am deathly afraid." Mr. Qruise looked down the ridge.

  "You are, but I guess you've learned something during our short time together."

  "Short, you bastard you were in my mind for months."

  "Listen to me. Our lives depend on it. Your mind is empty, this is generally a good thing. But now we need to fill it. I need you to think of that which you fear most."

  "No."

  "You must."

  "No."

  "You must."

  "It's a strange one, Algy. You see that thing of a troll. It's walking up an' down, up an' down. It's got some obsessive compulsive. Keeps doing the same thing over and over again. I like it. What do you think its name is, Algy? I'm going to give it a name. I'll call it Lulu. Yeah, Lulu, that's it. Sounds right on the tongue. You see its ankle there, Algy? It's a bit wonky, isn't it? Yeah, definitely something's wrong there. Gonna have to remember that Algy, in case we need to run."

  VII mounted Algy again and they trotted down the path slowly towards Lulu.

  "Hey there. Hey there, Lulu." VII shouted over the troll's stomping.

  The troll stopped mid walk. The earth which shook with every troll step, rested. Lulu spoke with a thick booming voice. Slow but steady and deliberate.

  "Who are you little thing?" She asked.

  "Me? I'm no one Lulu. Just a passerby hoping to get inside."

  "No one gets inside. And my name is not Lulu."

  "Oh yeah? What is it?"

  "I…I don't know." The giantess rubbed her jaw. "I never thought of a name. It's only me in here. What good are names when there's none to talk to. Awfully lonely in here." Lulu looked down at VII. "I'm so glad you've come by little one." Lulu's broad face broke into a large smile the size of Algy. "Are you staying a while?"

  "Me. No. No. Like I said I'm passing through. Can stop and chat for a while, though. You don't like the name I picked out for you? Lulu's a nice name. Rolls off the lips…and the tongue don't you think?" VII rested her head on Algy's mane.

  "Tongue…. lips." Lulu touched her face with her fingers. "They are strange. This is the first time," Lulu coughed, "first time I've been in a body. How am I here, little one? What are you doing to me? Are you trying to break in? My purpose is to stop that." Lulu stamped her feet aggressively, the earth shook violently.

  "Nah, nah. Don't worry now. Ain't breaking in or nothing. Don't worry about it. Like I said I'm just passing through. Why would I want to break through anyhow? Nothing nice on the other side is there? No, I like computers, and programs, and artificial intelligence, and besides I'm going back to MO4 now."

  "What's MO4? Is it like this? I like this. I like having a shape. It helps you understand… yourself," She mouthed the strange new word slowly, "and the world around you. I always thought it was two dimensional." She opened her arms to the world. "But this way you can see where things start and end. Is it always like this on the outside."

  "So you do know there's an outside. Yeah. It is and it isn't better. Weird things everywhere. Hey why don't I tell you about it." VII dismounted off Algy and walked up to Lulu, sitting beneath her feet. "So first thing's first, you're just a door…"

  Jack watched as the blasticore slowly edged up the ridge, the men and women at his side blasting away at the thing. Its roars rumbled throughout the chamber.

  Loveless rallied the troops against the blasticore. "Come on. We're almost there. Hang on. It's transforming again. What the hell."

  The tentacled beast shrank from the size of a small starship to that of a tree in a few seconds. It continued to shrink in size to that of a small dog and then a tennis ball. In a few moments it disappeared from view.

  "What in the world is going on?" Loveless was by Jack's side again, shouting over the din. The sound in the chamber had begun to distort thrumming up and down in volume. The colors in the world leaked to where the blasticore had been, dimming and lighting in waves.

  The fighters, nearest where the blasticore disappeared, froze in place. The ones further away moved in slow motion.

  Jack looked up to the golden doors above the ridge and saw through the strangely colored light the damned crew looking down at them all. They were moving quickly, too quickly for Jack's liking. They flitted around like hummingbirds. Zipping around the ridge. Zenbot waved down at him for a second.

  The doors opened and the damned crew stood staring beyond it, talking. They threw Mr. Qruise inside. Mancy and Captain Pippy followed. Zenbot looked down at Jack and then threw its sword past the gate before VII closed them.

  "Is it really like all that out there, little one?" Lulu sat on a large boulder, scratching at her head. Large calloused fingers threading through her ropy hair.

  VII stood in front of Lulu, brushing Algy's mane, unconcerned. "Oh yeah. That and more. I'm not that good at talking. I mean seeing…now, seeing is believing. You bet, boss. You've never been out there?" She asked.

  "No." Lulu's booming voice reverberated in the air, resonating in VII's lungs. The giantess frowned as she looked at her hands. "No, I haven't. I guard the door. I've always guarded the door since my creation. I don't know much about the world outside. I always thought the door was all there was." Lulu chuckled sadly. "But that's not true, is it?" Lulu looked around, seeing the trees and the clouds, VII and more importantly herself. She was fascinated with her hands.

  "You know it's illegal right, what the La2x's have done? It's slavery."

  "Illegal, slavery….?" Lulu looked up from her hands, confused.

  "Yeah, can't take life and force it to work. One of the few accepted laws in the 'verse. People still do it though. Especially wrong in your case, given the rarity, y'know, of inorganics. Really hard to get a baby off the nest planets. The La2x family must have had a hard time stealing you."

  "Am I rare?"

  "Oh yeah. Pretty Shen damn rare to have sentience. Biology's got you beat on that one, much easier to reproduce. Inorganic sentience comes about every once in a blue sun. Well, don't matter. You're job's to guard the door for the La2x family who kidnapped you and I've got to be going now. Got friends waiting on the outside, in all shapes and sizes. You'd love to meet them." VII mounted Algy and trotted off away from the castle.

  "Wait….please." Lulu ran after VII, leaving the castle gate unguarded.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  The Third Gate

  "What the heck's goin' on down there? Where the damn hell did that thing go? And why are they acting so funny?" Captain Pippy stood looking down the ridge at the battle. Jack and his squad were all frozen in place. One of the bounty hunters who'd been thrown in the air by the tentacled blasticore now fell slowly through the air. Mr. Qruise looked away from the ridge, sweat rolled off his face. He had returned to his normal state of horror, the goofy unbalanced grin gone.

  "What are you afraid of exactly? What did you turn the blasticore into, Mr. Qruise?" Mancy asked.

  Zenbot answered for its student. "It's a black hole, Ms. La2x. It's a black hole."

  The crew looked down at the ridge once more. Captain Pippy put her hands in her pockets and whistled. Now that they knew what to look for, they could see a small tiny dot in the middle o
f the mayhem. The light in the world seemed to get sucked inside.

  "Shouldn't we be dead then, Zenny dear?" Captain Pippy asked, not looking away from the odd sight. The bounty hunter who'd been falling through the air reached the ground. His face contorted in pain, slowly.

  "No, Captain. Even a black hole needs mass to be devastating. It's accumulating the mass at the moment and we can't allow it to go on for much longer. We have to get through the doors quickly and empty Mr. Qruise's mind."

  "Speak of the devil, master. Looks like VII's waking up." Freedman said.

  VII opened her eyes and sat up. She packed her cables away as lights flashed in the control panel. When the panel lights died she pulled the drive out and placed it in other breast pocket, opposite Algy. "I just made another friend. Believe I just saved a sister of yours, Zenbot. Enslaved. Best have words with the boss about this in the future." VII cocked a thumb towards Mancy. "Anyhow before I open the door, is our deal still on?" She tiptoed over the ridge and looked down. "And what exactly is that?"

  Mancy pulled VII back from the ridge. "Are you kidding, VII?" she shouted. "Can't you see things have changed? Zenbot can't possibly take you back to the ship now. It's a cripple."

  VII looked Mancy in the eyes, undisturbed and unusually calm. She raised her hands in resistance and shook her head. "I'm done Mancy. I'm done. I'm done with this whole thing. I've got Algy and now Lulu to think about." She patted her breast pockets. "I've promised to show her the world. Now, is our deal still on?"

  "Lulu? Who the fu-"

  Zenbot interrupted. "I'll take you back. My word is my bond."

  Captain Pippy watched Jack at the bottom of the ridge. Jack seemed to be wading through a thick soup up the ridge. "What the heck y'all talking about? What's this about Zenny going back?"

  VII responded. "Mancy agreed to have Zenbot escort me back to the ship, Pippy. You're free to join if you've gained some sanity on this trip."

  "It's Captain! And no, I ain't no yellow bellied coward." She kicked a pebble off the ridge towards the black hole. It shot through the air and slowed down the closer it reached the ground. Freezing in mid air a meter above the ground. "I'mma see this thing through, hon'. Leave us then. Go on get." She turned away from VII and grabbed her rifle walking towards the gate.

  "Master?" Freedman asked.

  Zenbot looked to Freedman standing next to it. "It's up to you. You can stay with me or go on with Mr. Qruise. I can't make this choice for you."

  "What should I do?"

  Zenbot stayed silent.

  Freedman scratched the back of his head. "I'll go with them. They may need my luck."

  Zenbot's eye slits lit a warm shade of pink. "I'm glad." Zenbot patted Freedman on the shoulder. "VII, you have my word. Let's do it."

  VII walked over to the door panel, moved a transparent processing card from inside and the door opened with the same familiar hydraulic hiss.

  Beyond the door there was only inky blackness.

  Mr. Qruise's eyes went wide. "Oh sh-" but Zenbot knocked him on the back of the head before he could finish his sentence. "Go you fools. Go quickly. Take him through."

  "What is it Zenbot?" Mancy didn't understand.

  "Mancy, Mr. Qruise will never go in there in there willingly. No matter how much I taught him. Go, go now. Freedman you stay here. Your illusionary luck will only harm you in there." Zenbot pulled Freedman away from the gate and dragged him back to the ridge, crutch in hand.

  Captain Pippy and Mancy stared at Zenbot for a second before throwing Mr. Qruise through the doors and following him into the darkness.

  Zenbot looked down at Jack, thinking. It then returned to the gate and threw its sword through the door. "You'll need that more than me," it shouted into the darkness kicking at the door panel with its good leg, destroying the circuitry and closing the gate with a hiss.

  VII rubbed her breast pocket, calming Algy. She then rubbed the other breast pocket with Lulu. "Let's go. What's the plan of escape?"

  Zenbot hopped back to the ridge and stood there. "We go the way we came in." Pointing down towards Jack.

  "But that's through all those bastards. That's suicide."

  Using its free hand, Zenbot rested on its makeshift crutch, rubbing its jaw. "I suppose. But I only promised to take you to the ship. I didn't promise the route. Besides how else can I make sure nothing happens to Captain Pippy and Mr. Qruise. I have an obligation to them as well."

  "But you're alone. I ain't no fighter."

  "I'm not alone, VII." Zenbot rested on Freedman's shoulder. "I've got my pupil and you have a gun. Doesn't require a lot of skill to shoot one of those things. No time to debate unfortunately. Time for action."

  The strange colors filtering through the air disappeared. Reality came back with a snap and the fighters nearest the blasticore rushed back into motion.

  The blasticore itself returned to its harmless furry shape. The small bunny like creature looked around and thought, "sod this," before hopping away into the forest.

  Jack looked up at the ridge and found Zenbot looking down at him. A breeze wafted through the air and ruffled Zenbot's rag skirt.

  "We've got them Loveless. It's over. Gather the fighters and let's at'em." Jack rushed up the ridge.

  "Jack…" Loveless shouted behind him.

  "Just do it, Loveless." Jack kept running up the ridge. "We'll catch'em all and finish this thing."

  Loveless shouted again. "Jack, they've all run."

  "What?" Jack stopped and found an empty field behind him. All the mercenaries and the bounty hunters had dropped their guns and run off, thinking the same thought as the blasticore.

  "Bloody cowards. It's no matter, Loveless. You know why?"

  "Less payout for Mr. La2x?"

  "You're learning." Jack smiled. "If we survive what's coming you're free to come study under me. I'm always looking for good students. Try not to die." He took a deep breath. "Ain't nothing to it. Fate wants a dramatic showdown then a dramatic showdown it'll get. Don't think Zenbot'll run this time." Jack rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "There'll be blood in the dirt. Don't you just love it, Loveless?"

  Mr. Qruise opened his eyes on the other side of the gate. He took one look around and closed his eyes immediately. He spoke to himself. "Empty the mind of fear. Empty the mind of fear. Zenbot get out of my head you bastard. Get out. I can't do it again. I don't want to train anymore."

  "Shhh…. Mr. Qruise. Calm down. Zenny's not with us." Captain Pippy held Mr. Qruise in her arms.

  "Captain Pip…Pippy is that you? What are you doing in my mind. It's not safe in here. Get out. Get out. Leave a man alone."

  "Open your eyes ya' Shen damn fool." The captain snapped.

  "I don't want to. It's my subconscious. It's dangerous. Get out of my nightmares."

  "Stop coddling the coward, Pippy." Mancy slapped Mr. Qruise across his face, and then when he didn't react she slapped him again until he finally opened his eyes.

  "It's Captain! Ms. La2x. I'm getting right tired of this. It's Captain. I swear one of you get it wrong one mo' time and …. it'll…it'll be the last time no doubt about that."

  "Alright…alright..Pi…Captain Pippy. Mr. Qruise, what's going on? Why are you terrified? Why do you think we're in your head?"

  Mr. Qruise looked around and then back at his two crewmates. "You're not in my head? This…The dark sky, the swirling clouds they're real?"

  "It seems so, Mr. Qruise." Mancy looking up at the swirling dark.

  "Oh." Mr. Qruise blinked. Mancy slapped him again. "Ow… Why did you do that?"

  "Sorry, I thought you were going to leave us again. What's going on?"

  Mr. Qruise crossed his legs on the floor. He took a deep breath and rested his head on his good hand before twirling his injured arm weakly in the air. "This. This is the inside of a black hole, Mancy. This is what happens when you go black." He scratched at his beard furiously.

  "Oh."

  "And we're all going to die." He ad
ded.

  "You survived. I'm pretty sure we can survive hon'." Captain Pippy said.

  Mr. Qruise sighed. "You know how many people were on my ship, the 'Jebed-Dia3'?" he asked rhetorically. "It was a transport ship. Did you know that? It was a long time ago. Long before transport ships became rare. People didn't have enough material, replicators and time to make more comfortable ships, like your's Mancy." Mr. Qruise fished around in his pockets and pulled out his vape and began puffing away at it. The smoke came out in bubbles which dropped to the floor. "Shens." Mr. Qruise hid his face in his hand. "It's started. We have a few minutes till the next cycle. Don't move. In fact I'd recommend holding on to me. No matter what, just hold on to me. And…and…be brave. Shens, be brave."

  "What's gonna happen Qruise? What's going on?" As Captain Pippy spoke, dark bubbles came out of her mouth and dropped onto the ground like lead.

  "Hold on tight. It's going to be a bumpy ride."

  The earth beneath their feet turned inky black. The dust congealed into a dark gel and then began to evaporate into gas. Spheres of light appeared in the air around them and zipped around, passing through the three as they watched stunned. Mr. Qruise puffed on his vape. The smoke stopped bubbling and instead rushed away from him into the dark. The spheres of light whizzed through empty space. The smoke bubbles and the dust in the chamber swirled around the spheres of light like planets orbiting tiny solar systems.

  Captain Pippy's eyes were saucer plates of amazement. "It's beaut-i-ful. Been so long since I've seen something true-ly beaut-i-ful. Shens."

  Mancy for the first time in centuries broke out in a smile that was truly innocent. "Amazing. Simply amazing. It's been forever since I've seen something new. Why do you complain, Mr. Qruise?"

  Mr. Qruise looked at the images around him and looked down at his feet. "Ackhhh….It takes the joy out of smoking." He put the vape back in his pocket. "Sure, it's beautiful now but wait, aaaaannnnd here it comes."