“For those of you who keep up with women’s roughstock events, you may have heard Shannon suffered a concussion and broken leg...”
The last thing she needed to hear before the gate opened was a recap of her wreck on Heat Miser. She willed Johnny to make eye contact with her, but his gaze remained on the rope. “How does your grip feel?”
“Good.”
“Count to eight then—”
“Dismount on the right. I’ve been practicing just like you said.”
“You’re ready.” He squeezed her hand, then dropped to the ground outside the chute.
Johnny’s presence calmed her jittery nerves and Shannon focused her thoughts inward, determined not to disappoint him. She clamped down on her back teeth and nodded to the gateman.
Mr. Shorty did his thing—fast, quick bucks and tight spins. Her body felt the physical strain of the ride but her adrenaline gave her the strength to hold on. She ticked off the seconds in her head and when the buzzer sounded, she planted the heel of her right boot against Mr. Shorty’s flank and shoved off. She landed several feet away from the bull, then sprang to her feet and dashed for the rails, ignoring the pain in her Achilles tendon.
“Folks, Shannon Douglas just showed us why she’s one of the best female bull riders in the country.”
The stands erupted in a boot-stomping jamboree as the JumboTron replayed Shannon’s ride. She waved to the crowd and retreated behind the chutes where the TV cameras couldn’t see. Her calf muscle burned as she took off her gear. She didn’t care to stay and watch C.J.’s ride. She assumed he’d make it to eight on his bull. “Let’s go,” she said, grabbing her gear bag.
“He wants a word with you.” Johnny nodded to a reporter standing off to the side.
“I can’t.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
That Shannon hadn’t had to explain herself to Johnny confirmed all over again why she loved and admired him. When he came back, he took her gear and they went outside to his truck, which sat parked next to hers. “Grab your things,” he said.
She didn’t argue. She retrieved her overnight bag and hopped into the passenger seat of his vehicle.
“Where are you staying?” he asked.
“I didn’t get a room.” She hadn’t wanted to jinx herself by assuming today’s ride would be uneventful and she’d make the second go-round tomorrow.
“I’ve got a room at the Holiday Inn Express not too far from here.”
That he’d made a hotel reservation proved his trip to Tucson hadn’t been a sudden decision. She wished she had the courage to ask why he’d come.
Shannon waited in the truck while Johnny went into the motel and checked in. Then he drove to the back of the building and parked. He stared her in the eye. “We’re sharing a room.”
She was afraid to read too much into his words. She’d find out soon enough why he’d come to Tucson.
He carried their bags into the motel and she did her best to disguise her limp. He stopped in the middle of the first-floor hallway and swiped the key card in the lock, then stepped back and allowed her to enter first.
Shannon noted the king-size bed as she made her way to the window. She cracked open the heavy drape, letting in a sliver of sunlight. Johnny set their bags on the floor and when their gazes met across the room, her heart melted and she longed to lose herself in his arms.
Her eyes locked with his as she unbuttoned her shirt. Next, she unbuckled her belt and pushed her jeans over her hips. The denim dropped to the floor. When she reached for the strap of her bra, Johnny moved so quickly her breath caught. His fingers caressed her shoulder before lowering the strap and baring one breast. Then he swung her into his arms and she clung to him.
In Johnny’s embrace she was able to forget her fear and anxiety and rejoice in the feeling of sweet relief that she hadn’t caved in to her fears and scratched today. Shannon was beginning to believe that with Johnny by her side, anything was possible.
* * *
“READY?” JOHNNY ASKED as he and Shannon stood in the cowboy ready area at the Tucson rodeo grounds. The need to touch her was strong, so he straightened her Kevlar vest and handed her the protective face mask.
They hadn’t said more than a few sentences to each other since they’d woken at the motel several hours ago. He’d read the questions in her eyes... Why had he come to Tucson? What did it mean? He’d come because he couldn’t stay away. Because whether Shannon rode bulls or not, he loved her and he wanted to be by her side no matter what happened, but now wasn’t the time to discuss their relationship. His first priority was to make sure she remained safe.
Last night he’d prayed for the hours to slow to a crawl but damned if they hadn’t flown by, leaving him standing next to the bull chute, experiencing a sense of déjà vu as Shannon prepared for her second ride against Rodriguez.
“Lightning Strikes bucks straight up,” she said. “I can handle him.”
“Yes, you can.” The words sounded convincing, but Johnny had his doubts. Lightning Strikes was a three-time bucking bull of the year. Only seven cowboys had ever made it to the buzzer on him. The odds of Shannon lasting eight seconds weren’t in her favor.
The announcer gave the crowd a brief description of the Dynasty Boots sponsored event and the history between Rodriguez and Shannon along with yesterday’s results—both of them had made it to eight. Shannon and Rodriguez had each scored an eighty-four.
“We got ourselves a tie between cowgirl and cowboy. Let’s see if Shannon Douglas edges out the competition today. The action is at chute five. This cowgirl is going head-to-head with Lightning Strikes!”
Johnny felt as helpless as a newborn baby—unable to protect Shannon from whatever fate awaited her once the gate opened. “Stay low and dismount on the right.”
She hopped onto Lightning Strikes and wrapped the bull rope around her hand. “Shannon.” When she glanced at him, he said, “I’ll be right here when you’re done.”
He backed away from the chute, worried that his hovering would make her more nervous. Besides, the bull had become antsy. The sooner the pair left the chute, the better. Shannon nodded to the rodeo helper and the gate opened. Lightning Strikes lunged for freedom. She stayed centered and low as she came out of the first spin. Johnny wanted to check the clock, but he couldn’t look away from the action.
The bull continued to buck high and tight. Everything was going well until Shannon slipped sideways during a spin. The buzzer sounded, but Johnny didn’t hear it, his eyes remained glued to Shannon. C’mon, baby, you can do it. Find an opening.
She dropped farther down the side of the bull.
What was she waiting for? Now, Shannon, now!
She attempted to move her leg into position, but the awkward angle of her body prevented her from pushing off and she fell straight to the ground, the bull’s hooves missing her head by inches. Johnny’s heart stopped beating as she attempted to roll away. The bull rotated in her direction and she aborted the effort, diving sideways to avoid getting stomped.
Move, baby, move!
As if Shannon heard his command, she scrambled to her feet and stumbled the first few steps before gaining her balance and running for safety as the bullfighters distracted Lightning Strikes.
She staggered like a drunken woman into the cowboy ready area and removed her mask. Once she’d thanked the cowboys who congratulated her, Johnny held her trembling body close—so close he feared he’d suffocate her.
She’d survived round two.
One more to go.
* * *
SHANNON LEFT THE BED and escaped to the bathroom. As quietly as possible, she lifted the toilet seat and vomited—twice. There went the nice steak dinner Johnny had bought her to celebrate making it to the buzzer on Lightning Strikes.
Heaven help her,
she was a disaster—both physically and emotionally. Her body was battered and bruised. Icing her Achilles tendon hadn’t helped—her leg felt on fire. To be honest she’d never thought in a million years she’d be having this much trouble with the tendon and for the first time she was forced to consider that it might be a career-ending injury. She couldn’t continue to be competitive unless her leg was a hundred percent, which meant if she didn’t win tomorrow her run for the title might be over.
And it wasn’t just her banged-up leg that would force her to retire her bull rope. As much as she wanted to believe she had control over her fear, the nightmare that had followed her home from the hospital had reared its ugly head tonight and she feared if she fell back asleep the visions would cripple her and prevent her from competing tomorrow.
After she flushed the toilet, she leaned against the tub and rested her head in her hands. Everything came down to one ride and she’d drawn the tougher bull. Smackdown—a bull with a reputation of turning on his riders. A bull that had yet to be ridden this year. A bull most cowboys yearned for the chance to conquer.
A bull capable of winning her the title.
A bull she wanted nothing to do with.
The look on Johnny’s face when he learned which bull she’d drawn proved that he was scared for her, too. She was so grateful he’d come to Tucson to support her, yet she wished he hadn’t come, because she knew she was putting him through hell.
Her stomach heaved again and she lurched toward the porcelain bowl. After she flushed the toilet she heard a noise in the other room and noticed a shadow beneath the door.
Was Johnny listening to her retch? Seconds passed and finally the shadow disappeared. Forcing her shaky legs to hold her, she stood and brushed her teeth before turning out the light and slipping into bed. She lay in the dark listening to Johnny breathe. After a few seconds he lifted his arm and she nestled her face against his neck. The smell of his faded cologne and male scent soothed her ragged nerves.
“Can I ask you a question?” Johnny’s deep voice drifted into her ear.
No. “Sure.”
“Why are you letting your mother have so much power over you?”
“What do you mean?”
He shifted on the mattress and faced her, his chest bumping her breasts. “Neither winning or losing the title will change the fact that your mother abandoned you.”
“When I was little, I felt all alone and no matter how hard I tried to keep up with Matt and Luke and make my father proud, I didn’t feel like I fully belonged with them.”
“And you blamed your mother.”
“I resented not having a mother to talk to about girl things.” She tried to gather her thoughts but emotions got in the way. “My anger festered, which only made me more determined to be like my brothers and do guys things like rodeo.”
“So you wanted to punish your mother.”
Had she? “Rodeo gave me a focus and helped me forget that my mother wanted nothing to do with me.” Rodeo was her life. All she’d ever done—it was who she’d become.
“Have you talked to your father about this?”
“He already blames himself for raising me like a tomboy.”
“So winning the title is going to make you feel better about your mother leaving you and your brothers?”
Why did it sound immature when Johnny said it? “It’ll make up for the pain of knowing my mother didn’t love me.”
Johnny threaded his fingers through her hair. “Try to get some sleep. I’m right here. I won’t let anything hurt you.”
She closed her eyes, trusting him to keep the nightmares at bay. As the first rays of sun peeked through the curtains, she drifted off to sleep and Johnny lay wide-awake.
He stared at the ceiling. It had torn him to pieces when he’d stood outside the bathroom door, listening to her vomit. Now that he knew what demon rode her back, he felt even more helpless, because there was nothing he could do to change Shannon’s childhood or the fact that her mother had left the family.
He and Shannon shared similar childhoods and he felt a connection to her on a deeper level than he’d experienced with anyone else. He wished he was enough to fill the void left by her mother, but based on his own experience with abandonment issues, he’d learned that nothing he did or tried to do would make the pain go away.
Did she realize that her decision to compete today was putting him through hell and back?
This isn’t about you.
Shannon was about to confront the biggest challenge of her life and she needed him—not to stop her, but to stand by her side and be there for her no matter what the outcome.
He swallowed hard when he thought of Smackdown—a badass nasty bull. Rodriguez had drawn Let’s Party, a middle-of-the-road, straight-forward bucker. The cowboy would make it to eight, which guaranteed him a victory if Shannon got thrown.
Johnny resisted the urge to wake Shannon. He desperately wanted to make love to her, but feared that kind of closeness would break the promise he’d made to himself—that he wouldn’t make her choose between him and rodeo. She wiggled against him and he kissed the top of her head. “You awake?”
“Mmm.” She stretched her arms above her head, exposing her breasts when the sheet dropped. “I’m hungry.”
So was he. Hungry to make love to her one more time.
“Let’s eat a big breakfast,” she said.
“We’ll stop at the Waffle House on the way to the rodeo grounds.”
They took turns getting ready in the bathroom, then packed their overnight bags. “What’s wrong?” she asked when he didn’t walk to the door.
“I have something to say.”
She dropped her bag. “Okay.”
“I love you.”
Her eyes rounded.
“I just needed you to know that before...” He closed the distance between them and held her by the shoulders. “I’m in love with you, Shannon. I started falling in love with you way back in August when we danced after the rodeo in Gila Bend, but I didn’t realize the depth of my feelings until...” He’d watched her get run down by a bull.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Johnny.”
He was so damned rattled and worried about the rodeo that he was making a mess of his proposal. “This isn’t the place—” he spread his arms wide “—I imagined asking you to marry me. I don’t even have a ring for you.”
“You don’t have to do this.” She grasped his hand. “Nothing’s going to happen to me today.”
“I’m not proposing to you because I think you’ll get hurt.”
“You mean you’re not asking me to marry you, hoping I’ll reconsider and scratch my ride?”
“No! I love you, Shannon, whether you ride today, tomorrow or next week.”
“But you don’t approve of me riding,” she said.
“It’s not that I don’t approve. I just wish I could make up for what your mother robbed you of as a child.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “But I can’t give you back all the things you missed out on growing up without a mother.”
Tears flooded her eyes.
“If you’ll let me, I’ll be the man standing by your side when that chute door opens and the man whose arms you walk into when the ride’s over.” He didn’t know how else to express his love, so he kissed her.
After their long, slow kiss, she whispered, “I love you, too, Johnny. There’s no other man I trust more with my heart than you.”
“Then marry me,” he said.
Her smile was shaky, but her voice was strong. “I’d be honored to become your wife.”
Their kiss was desperate yet filled with hope. When they broke apart, he said, “Whatever the future holds for us,
we’re in this together. Don’t ever forget that.”
* * *
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, welcome to the...”
“Quit looking over there,” Johnny said when Shannon glanced at the crowd gathering near C.J.
She and Johnny had arrived at the rodeo two hours ago and her nerves were tied in knots.
As the rodeo announcer recapped the competition between her and C.J., Shannon inched closer to Johnny, absorbing his strength. Since he’d proposed to her in the motel room and she’d accepted, she’d tried not to think too much about the future, because each time she did, she was tempted to walk away from her ride. Johnny had handed her a valid reason to call it quits yet he hadn’t asked her to scratch from the event today. He was willing to stand by her no matter the outcome this afternoon and for that very reason she wanted to win.
She’d been uncertain about her future after today but now that she knew she was spending the rest of her life with Johnny—no matter the result of today’s ride—she planned to retire from rodeo.
“You ready, daughter?”
Shannon gasped. Her father and brothers walked toward her. Matt and Luke were grinning but her dad’s expression remained sober.
“You came,” she said.
“We’ve been here all weekend, Shannon, watching from the stands,” Luke said.
Stunned, she couldn’t find her voice. Johnny nodded to her brothers and they walked over to the stock pens, allowing Shannon and her father privacy.
“Daughter, I’ve been a lousy father to you all these years.”
“That’s not true.”
“When you got serious about competing in roughstock events, I assumed if I showed my disapproval, you’d quit. But you’re as stubborn as your old man and I’d raised you not to be a quitter, so I don’t know why I thought you’d listen to me.” He removed his hat and rubbed his brow. “No matter how tough you acted, you were still my little girl and the thought of you getting hurt... Honest to God, I didn’t know how to handle my fear.”
“Do you want me to scratch this afternoon?”
The Cowboy Next Door (The Cash Brothers) Page 18
