Selena came to a jarring stop and blinked her eyes several times to clear her head. She felt dizzy and slightly nauseous as she sat up. She cautiously stretched her limbs, and detecting no broken bones or strained muscles, she stood up on shaking legs. She glanced all around and was relieved that there was no sign of the bear. Her heart sank when she spied the bucket. She had forgotten all about it, clutching it only from habit as she ran, but now her eyes filled up with tears. The berries were crushed all over her skirts and the ground, and for some reason, the sight made her angry. All that for nothing!
Selena’s heart leapt into her throat once again when she heard a crashing through the trees. She turned toward the source, convinced that the bear was still after her. She collapsed in relief when she saw that it was Liam.
“Selena!”
He ran to her, his face full of concern as he took in her appearance. Her hair was a mess, with leaves and bits of branches sticking out from the tresses, and her dress was covered with grass and berry stains. There were a few tiny scratches on her face and arms, and she was crying. He dropped his rifle on the ground and knelt to hug her against him.
“What happened? Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine now. I saw a bear and it frightened me.” Selena wiped at the tears that had started, and she laughed a bit self-consciously. “I was running through the woods and I fell.
Liam placed a hand over her belly and frowned. “Did you hurt yourself?”
“No. I’m fine, really.” Selena placed a comforting hand over Liam’s.
“Thank God. When I heard you scream it frightened the life out of me.”
“I’m sorry, Liam.” She stood up with his help and wiped the last of her tears away. “I wanted to get some more berries to make a cobbler, but now they’re all ruined.”
Her chin trembled, and Liam pulled her against him once more. “Never mind that, sweetheart. Let’s go back to camp and get you cleaned up.”
Selena felt sore and bruised, and she gratefully accepted his help back to camp. She cleaned herself up while Liam fussed over her, and he rubbed a soothing ointment into the scratches on her face so they wouldn’t pucker and scar.
That evening after dinner, Selena was shocked when Natasha appeared with two plates of blackberry cobbler. She gave Selena a brittle smile and Liam a more friendly one.
“Mama felt bad about your accident today, so she went and gathered some more berries and made a cobbler. She was going to bring it over to you herself, but I offered to save her the trouble.”
“Thank you,” Selena murmured, eying the other woman suspiciously.
Natasha handed her a plate and gave Liam the other plate with a larger serving. Natasha sat on a nearby rock and chatted cheerily as they ate the dessert.
“Daddy says we’re almost two thirds of the way to Oregon. Is that true Liam?”
Liam frowned but directed his attention to the cobbler as he answered her. “Yeah, almost. We’ve still got a long way to go, but I’m happy with our progress so far.”
“I can’t wait to get there,” Natasha sighed. “It will be so wonderful to be able to wear my nice clothes again instead of these rags.”
She plucked at her skirts with distaste. The dress Natasha was wearing was considerably better than Selena’s very best. Once again, Selena felt self-conscious about her own sparse wardrobe. Any enjoyment Selena might have gotten from the dessert was spoiled by Natasha’s crassness, and Selena barely tasted the treat as she ate it. She and Liam finished their cobbler, and Selena handed both plates back to Natasha.
“Please give Marcia our thanks. That was very thoughtful,” Selena said.
“I’m so glad you enjoyed it.” Natasha was bold enough to give Liam a flirtatious smile. “I know how much Liam likes sweets. It would have been a shame if he missed out on dessert because of your clumsiness.” Her hips swayed invitingly as she walked away.
When Natasha was out of earshot, Selena gave exasperated sigh. “That woman tries my patience. Everything she says manages to hurt someone’s feelings.”
“Don’t worry about her. She’s just a selfish child.” Liam hugged Selena against his side, kissing her hair as he stared into the flickering fire.
“She’s not a child, Liam. She’s a beautiful woman, and she seems hell bent on trying to get your attention.”
Liam pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. “Well, she can’t have my attention, because every bit of it belongs to you.” He touched her nose with his fingertip. “You looked more beautiful today, with your hair all mussed and your dress all dirty than she ever will in all her fancy finery.”
Selena rewarded him with a smile. “Yes, but you might not think so in a few months when I grow big and fat.”
“Come to think of it, that was an awfully big helping of cobbler you just ate.”
When Selena squealed her outrage and would have clobbered him with her fist, Liam captured her wrists and laughed. He nuzzled her neck, his hot breath sending shivers of delight through Selena.
“I can’t wait to see you grow fat with my child. You’re going to be the prettiest little Mama ever.”
Selena woke with sharp cramps in her belly. The intensity of the pains made her gasp and writhe in agony.
“What is it?” Liam asked groggily.
“I don’t know,” she ground out. “My stomach hurts.”
Liam sat up and groped for the lantern, which he lit. When he saw her, he was filled with dread. Selena moaned as another cramp went through her, and her eyes filled with tears.
“Oh, Liam. I think I’m losing the baby,” she cried.
Liam scrambled to don his breeches. “I’ll get Marcia,” he said before running out of the tent.
He returned with Marcia just moments later, but there was nothing that could be done. Selena had started to bleed, and she was wracked by cramps and nausea. Marcia shook her head sadly in response to Liam’s questioning look.
“I’m sorry, Liam. Just try to keep her comfortable. There’s nothing we can do but let nature take its course.” Marcia made a tactful departure, leaving Liam and Selena alone.
“It’s all my fault,” Selena said miserably. “I wasn’t watching where I was going. It’s all my fault.” She started to cry as she clung to Liam.
“Shh, sweetheart. It’s not your fault. It was just an accident.” Liam comforted her as he struggled with his own grief and disappointment.
“I’m so sorry, Liam. I know how much you wanted the baby.”
Liam forced her to meet his eye as he stroked her hair back. “Of course I did, but it wasn’t meant to be. It was just an accident. It wasn’t your fault.” He kissed her brow and gave her a smile.
Selena didn’t feel any better, despite his words, and she sobbed harshly in his arms. The next morning, Liam suggested they stay an extra day to give her time to rest, but Selena refused. Her face was drawn and pale, and there were dark circles under her eyes when she spoke to Liam.
“Let’s just go. I want to get away from here,” she whispered forlornly.
At a loss as to how he could comfort her, Liam agreed to her request. However, he insisted that she lay on a pallet in the wagon instead of sitting on the hard bench all day. Selena curled into a miserable ball and slept throughout most of the day. She refused to eat lunch, saying she had no appetite. Over the next two weeks, Selena became more and more withdrawn. She went about her chores with lassitude, and there was no joy or laughter on her face. Liam grew increasingly concerned, and he confided in Marcia one evening after Selena had retired early to sleep.
“I don’t know how to reach her,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “She barely responds when I talk to her. She’s not eating, and she sleeps all the time but always looks exhausted. I feel so helpless.”
Marcia placed a comforting hand on his arm and gave him a sympathetic smile. “Liam, she has to grieve. It was the same for me when I lost a baby once. She has to reconcile herself to the fact and move on, but it will take
time.”
“So you think she’ll be alright?”
Marcia nodded. “She’ll be fine. Just keep letting her know that you love her. One of these days, she’ll snap out of it, and she’ll be right as rain again.”
“I hope so,” he sighed. He gave Marcia a smile. “Thank you. You’ve been a dear friend to both of us.”
“Don’t mention it, Liam. You know that you and Selena are like my own children.” Marcia turned Liam by the shoulders and gave him a small shove toward his tent. “Now go to bed. Selena needs to feel you close to her.”
Liam did just that. He slid in beside Selena and gave her a tender kiss on the brow as she slept. It was several hours later when he awoke, hearing her moans. She was thrashing around, obviously having a nightmare. Just like once before, Liam shook her gently awake. Tears streamed down her face, and she gave him a tormented look.
“I’m so sorry about the baby, Liam. Please don’t hate me. Please, I couldn’t bear it if you hate me.”
She clutched at him, burying her face against his chest, and Liam felt his heart constrict. He hugged her as she cried, and when she finally began to calm, he lifted her chin so he could meet her eyes.
“Selena, I could never hate you. Don’t you know that? I’ve never loved you more than I do at this moment. Losing the baby wasn’t your fault, Selena. I don’t blame you for falling any more than you should blame me for loving blackberry cobbler. If you hadn’t gone to pick berries for me, you wouldn’t have had the accident. But it’s no one’s fault. It just happened.”
“But I know how much you wanted the baby.” Her eyes were swimming with tears. “I didn’t mean to lose it.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb and smiled. “The main thing is that you’re safe. You are the most important person in the world to me. I need you, Selena.” His voice cracked, raw with emotion.
Selena stroked his jaw as she stared into his eyes. “I need you too, Liam. I love you.”
She stretched up to kiss him, and a feeling of relief washed over them both. They slept peacefully through the rest of the night, and over the next few days, Selena gradually got better. Although her eyes still held traces of sadness, the pallor left her cheeks to be replaced by her usual healthy glow. Her appetite came back, and she began to be more like her old self.
Chapter Eleven
Late one afternoon, they reached Big Hill. It had a difficult ascent and a very steep descent on the other side, but they had no choice but to cross it. The terrain around its base was impassable. Liam heaved a sigh and firmed his lips as he thought about the best way to tackle the formidable obstacle.
“It’s only a few miles to the other side, but it will probably take us an entire day. I think we should camp here and get an early start on the hill tomorrow.”
The men spent most of the evening discussing logistics for the following day. Unfortunately, it rained heavily that night, soaking the ground until there was a thick layer of mud. The next morning, Liam shook his head in disgust as he inspected the ground.
“There’s no way we will be able to get up that hill with this slippery mud. We’re going to have to wait a day or two and hope it doesn’t rain any more so the ground can dry up,” he said grimly. “At least there’s plenty of grass for the animals. It’s probably a good thing that they will have a day or two to rest.”
They all agreed, and they used the next two days to catch up on their laundry and make repairs to the wagons. By the third morning, the ground was pronounced firm enough to proceed.
They had to double up the teams in order to haul the heavy wagons up the steep hill. Selena waited below with the women while Liam walked beside their wagon, urging the straining oxen to the top of the hill. Once there, they unhitched the oxen and led them back down the hill to the other waiting wagons. They did the same with the other wagons and even hitched two oxen to the buggy to haul it up the incline. By the time all the vehicles reached the top, it was well past their usual lunchtime, and they stopped for a well earned respite.
“Now what?” Selena asked, as she nibbled on a boiled egg.
Liam’s smile was almost boyish as he shrugged one broad shoulder. It was obvious that the challenge of conquering the hill appealed to his adventurous nature.
“Now the interesting part comes. We have to get the wagons down the other side without toppling them over or letting them roll out of control.” He saw her worried frown, and he put an arm around her shoulders, giving her a comforting squeeze. “Don’t worry. I’ve done this before, and I know what I’m doing.”
After lunch, Liam and the other men secured the wheels on the wagons with rope so they wouldn’t roll. They hitched only one team of oxen to pull each wagon down the steep hill, and they tied long ropes to the back of the wagon and wound them around stout trees. Then the men strained against the ropes helping to hold back the weight as the wagon slid down the slope. The ropes cut deep grooves into the trees, but they held, and Liam’s wagon finally reached the bottom. The entire procedure was repeated until all the wagons and the buggy were safely down the hill.
They were all exhausted, but because they had lost two days waiting for the ground to dry, there was no time to take a much needed break. The next morning, they were back on the move.
Four days later, they were making their way at a snail’s pace up another steep incline when there was a loud cracking noise from behind them, and Liam and Selena heard screaming. Glancing behind, they could see Gerald struggling to control his team, as his wagon skidded several feet back down the hill. It finally came to a shuddering stop, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Liam halted his own team and set the brake. He jumped down and ran back to Gerald’s wagon. The front wheels were skewed at odd angles, and the front of Gerald’s wagon had fallen to the ground, forcing Susan to grip the seat to keep from being thrown from the bench.
“Are you both alright?” Liam asked anxiously.
“Yes, we’re fine, but what happened?” Gerald’s face was pale with shock.
“It looks like the front axle may have snapped,” Liam said, kneeling to peer under the wagon.
Gerald and Susan climbed down from the bench while Liam rushed to gather some large stones and pile them behind the back wheels to keep the wagon from slipping further down the slope. Once he was sure the wagon was stable, Liam crawled underneath to inspect the damage.
“Damn!” He scurried back out with a disgusted look. “It’s the front axle. It snapped in two. Do you have a spare?”
“Yeah, but it’s a heck of a place to try to change an axle,” Gerald said as he looked around. They were two thirds of the way up the mountain, and all around were nothing but scraggly rocks. It was already early afternoon and would take several hours to dig the other axle out and change it, and this was no place to try and make camp. Marcia’s buggy was already part of the way up the hill behind them and Hank’s wagon was bringing up the rear of their small group.
“If the others swing around here, there should be enough room for them to get on around you and up to the top,” Liam said, indicating the area with a wave of his hand. He squinted as he looked up to the top of the ridge. “I’m hoping there will be a place to camp once we top the hill. It looks like it flattens out up there.
“Alright,” Gerald agreed. “You get the other wagons and the buggy up the hill and make camp on top. Then I’d appreciate it if you could come and help me.”
“Of course,” Liam said.
Gerald went to tell the others, and Liam returned to his own wagon. He told Selena what had happened.
“I’m just glad no one was hurt,” she said with relief.
“Yeah, they could have ended up toppling on their side or worse,” Liam agreed.
He steered their oxen up the hill, parked their wagon and quickly unhitched the team, leaving Selena to set up camp on her own. Then, he grabbed a few tools and went to help Gerald. Luckily, there was a small meadow at the top
of the summit where they could spend the night. Selena set up their tent and started supper. Hank, Matthew, Adam and Peter also went to help. It would likely take all their combined efforts to jack up the wagon so the axle could be changed.
The men labored through the afternoon heat. They had to remove quite a few things to get to the spare axle and lighten the weight. Then, they piled flat rocks underneath the wagon bed and used logs to lever it even higher, until the front wheels were off the ground. Liam and Gerald crawled underneath and replaced the shattered axle. Once that was done, the wheels had to be affixed. The sun beat down on them, and they were all drenched with sweat by the time the repairs were completed.
They were lowering the wagon back down to the ground when one of the levering logs slipped. Liam had been leaning hard on the log, and he fell forward. The iron rim of the front wheel cut a long, deep gash on his forearm. Liam howled in pained surprise and sucked in a sharp breath as blood began to gush from the jagged cut. Gerald grabbed a rag and wrapped Liam’s arm, squeezing tightly to stop the bleeding.
“Come on,” he said to Liam. “Let’s get Selena to look at that cut.”
“No, we’re almost finished.”
“We’ll do the rest. Come on.” Gerald insisted, urging Liam toward their camp.
By the time they reached the top of the slope, Liam was beginning to feel dizzy and weak. He stumbled slightly and had to lean on Gerald for support. When Selena saw them approaching, she came running. Concern was rampant on her face when she saw Liam’s pale face and the blood dripping from his arm.
“What happened?” she gasped.
Liam let them lead him to a spot in the shade of a large tree and he sat down gratefully, propping his back against the trunk. “It’s just a cut,” he grumbled. “Don’t get all worried.”
“There’s no such thing as just a cut. Let me see.”
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