“Do you want me to stop?” he whispers.
I shake my head and take his face in my hands, kissing him as I cry, the ache of the pain in my chest mingling with the euphoria coursing through my veins. “Don’t stop, don’t ever stop,” I tell him between kisses.
He spins with me, moving us to the bed. He lays me down on the sheets and trails his hands across my hips, grabbing the sides of my panties and slipping them down my legs. He pulls them free and lets them drop on the floor. Then he steps back, his eyes roaming over every inch of me.
I watch his eyes as he stares at me and see a hint of that wild animal inside him, the one that ripped through the bar yesterday with the power of a pissed off carnivore, but he’s holding back. Fuck restraint. I don’t want Jax on his best behavior — I want him as he is.
I pull a knee up and let my leg fall to the side, opening to him. “Jax.”
He lifts his eyes to mine, and I swallow hard at the edginess I see there. A wolf ready to devour me. But I want to be his prey. I want him to unleash the beast living inside him.
I gather my courage. “You want more of this? I mean, really want it?”
His eyes lower to my pussy. He’s practically salivating. “Fuck, yes.”
“Then come take it. And I don’t mean slow and sweet.”
His gaze flicks back to my face, an eyebrow raised in surprise.
“I can handle it,” I tell him, but inside I’m shaking a little.
He tilts his head and looks away. “I don’t doubt you could, but I think we’d both like me better tomorrow if I don’t...”
“Don’t what?”
He takes a deep breath, and his mouth opens to reply, but he hesitates.
“What?” I insist, sliding a hand between my legs, running my fingers over my clit. His eyes follow my movements, and his breath quickens. My pussy is aching to have him inside of me again.
“It’s not how you should be treated,” he says, never taking his eyes off my fingers.
“What isn’t?”
“This...” he trails off, clenching his fist against his gut. He looks at me, his expression more serious than I’ve ever seen before, a fierceness in his eyes. “The hunger I feel for you, Emma. It’s relentless.”
I sit up and reach for him, my hands running across his stomach, savoring the firmness of his body and the heat of his skin under my hand. I turn my face up to his, hoping he can see the sincerity. “I feel the same way, Jax. Can’t you tell?”
He shakes his head. “You don’t understand. This is like...” He sighs and looks up at me. “I don’t know what I’m capable of, not when it comes to you.”
His warning sends a thrill down my spine, and a rush of heat sweeps over me. He doesn’t understand. He thinks he’s protecting me, but I need to taste that hunger. To feed it. I want to see all of him — even the parts he’s afraid to show me.
I decide to take a risky gamble. It could backfire so badly, but I don’t know of another way.
“Okay,” I say. I pull my knees together and scoot to the edge of the bed. I give him an easy smile and brush past him, using all the willpower I can summon to keep from throwing myself on his hard, naked body, and walk over to the reading chair in the corner of my bedroom.
“What are you doing?” he asks, turning to watch me.
“Getting dressed.” I pluck a pair of leggings off the chair.
“Why?” he asks, an edge of panic in his voice.
“You aren’t up for it,” I say, maintaining the most neutral expression I can manage. “It’s okay.”
He doesn’t buy my indifference for a second. “Really?” His tone is a mix of contempt and disbelief.
I glance up at him, and I see it — that fire. He knows I’m calling his bluff. A part of me wonders if I truly know what I’m asking for, but I can’t stop. I shrug nonchalantly, turning the fabric through my hands until I find the waistband. “When you’re ready — when you want to fuck me bad enough, you’ll stop dancing around and just take what’s yours.”
In a split-second, he’s beside me, his strong hands around my neck. It startles the fuck out of me, and I shriek, dropping the leggings. I’m frozen in place, my breath caught in my chest. Jax pulls me against him, crushing my shoulder to his chest, and I don’t resist.
He slides his hand up the back of my neck and grabs a tight fistful of my hair. He pulls my head back and lowers lips to my ear. “Every taste of you has taken me to my knees. Do you know what that’s like? To be on the verge of losing control?”
I swallow hard and manage to find my voice. “Show me.”
He tightens his grip on my hair. “You think you want this, but you don’t.”
I stare up at him. “I do.”
His eyes search my face, and he rubs a thumb across my skin as his hand grips my throat.
“I do,” I tell him again, pleading. “I’m yours, Jax. I’m yours.”
He squeezes my throat hard and kisses me, his mouth demanding, his tongue running across my lips, tasting. My mouth parts, my body responding to him eagerly. Yes.
Jax releases his grip around my throat and runs his hand down my chest. His fingers slide across my right breast, and he grabs a handful firmly, his fingers pinching my nipple, pulling and twisting hard. I cry out from the mix of pleasure and pain, and his grip tightens on my hair, holding my head back so he can see my face, watching me intently. His fingers move to my other nipple until it hardens into a stiff point in response, and I pant through the agony of his rough touch to such a sensitive area, yet I just want more — and he can see it on my face, hear it in my breath. There’s a satisfaction in Jax’s eyes as he watches the pleasure wash over me even as he pushes me past the point of comfort. Then he lowers his mouth and sucks, his warm mouth and talented tongue like a salve. I let out a moan and run my hands across his shoulders, an elation taking hold of me as I submit to his touch, every nerve in my body set on fire.
He brings his mouth to my ear as he straightens up. “You’re like a goddamn drug,” he growls. “I’d shoot you into my veins if I could.”
I turn my eyes up to his, and he kisses me again. His free hand runs across my stomach then moves lower. He lifts his lips from mine as he pushes his hand between my thighs and shoves two fingers inside me. I gasp at the sudden penetration.
There is no slow and gentle now. His jaw is set, a wild lust in his eyes as he watches my face, feeding on the ecstasy running over my features, my mouth falling open, my breath quick and unsteady as he thrusts his fingers into me hard and fast, making my knees weak.
“Is this where you want my cock?”
A shiver of delight surges through me. “Yes.”
“Then don’t you dare run from me, because you’re mine tonight.”
He releases his grip on my hair and turns me to the chair. His strong arms push me down, bending me over the arm, displaying my ass for his pleasure. I fold over obediently and reach my hands out to the opposite arm, gripping it tight, bracing for what I hope is coming.
I hear him strip off his jeans the rest of the way, then he’s behind me again. He rubs his cock against my pussy, my juices slicking him, and a moment later he thrusts into me. The new angle has me opened wide, and his cock fills me immediately, completely. I dip my head between my arms and let out a sharp gasp as he rams me, my ass quivering, his fingers digging into my hips as he takes me harder and harder, the chair shaking with every thrust.
He bends over me, his lips and teeth trailing up my spine, biting hard, his teeth sinking in. His breath is hot and quick against my bare skin as his hands move up my sides, reaching around me to hold onto my breasts as he slams into me. His body leans into mine, pinning me down, his chest sliding across my back, a slick layer of sweat between us.
I push back against him, my legs shaking, and he shoves a knee against my left thigh, pushing my legs apart further, exposing my clit to the friction of his thrusts. Yes. I want more. All of him. I want to feel him on every inch of my skin.
Jax places his hands next to mine, the tendons and veins in his arms defined as he grips the arm of the chair and rides me, his thrusts powerful.
“Oh, God,” I gasp, no longer in control of anything happening in my body. I’m being swept away in a riptide of pleasure so strong, the intensity of it threatens to drown me.
His hands slide under my arms and wrap around my neck, squeezing my throat as he works his hips, driving into me. “Do you like being fucked like my dirty whore?”
I rasp for air as my pussy clenches down on his cock. “Yes,” I gasp, surprised by the way my body responds to his brash words. I raise on my toes, pushing my ass into him. “Please.”
He stands again, and his hand slaps down on my ass, sending tingles straight to my clit. I cry out, and he rewards me with another slap, harder than the first. The sharp sting gives way to a fiery heat that spreads across my skin and makes my clit throb.
I bury my face in the cushion as I moan loudly. I can’t hold back the volume, not with how hard he’s fucking me.
Jax grabs my hair and pulls my head back, the strong muscles of his legs flexing against the back of my thighs. I grip the chair like I’m trying to hang onto a wild bull, my breasts bouncing in the air as he slams into me. I realize with a rush of heat that I’ve never been truly fucked. Not like this.
I give myself over to him, letting Jax take me exactly how he wants. My wetness soaks into the arm of the chair. I tighten down on his cock, my body racked with pleasure, the crashing wave of an intense orgasm on the horizon.
His palm strikes down on my ass again, and I cry out, begging for more. He swiftly grants my wish, and each strike pushes my body closer and closer as the pain melts into an exquisite pleasure. My body trembles with the continued effort of trying to hold on, but I can’t anymore, and the wave crashes over me. I arch my back, every muscle in my body convulsing as ecstasy rips through me like a tsunami.
“Oh, fuck, Emma,” Jax groans. His rhythm falters as I come, and he digs his fingers into the flesh of my ass. He pounds hard, his groans becoming louder. Then a final thrust and he lets go deep inside of me. There’s an immense pressure as his cock pulses and swells, a series of gasps fill the air, and his legs lock against mine.
A moment later, he collapses against me, his chest heaving.
I breathe shallowly, my lungs compressed, gasping for air but loving the weight of him on me, our bodies spent, drenched in the sweat of sex.
My body melts into the chair as a euphoric high takes hold of me, enveloping me like a heavy fog of bliss.
This.
This is what I needed.
12
Emma
I roll on my mattress toward the night stand. One quick glance at my phone tells me it’s past three in the morning, and sleep is no closer than it was a few hours ago.
After our vigorous escapades on the chair, Jax had carried me to the bed and held me, gently stroking my back until I’d finally succumbed to sleep. But not long after, I’d awoken alone in my bed, the sounds of Zoey and the other guys coming home from dinner echoing down the hallway. I’d slipped on my robe and found him sitting at his usual spot at the dining room table, keeping watch over everything.
Zoey was in a great mood, which was wonderful to see. The guys tend to have that effect on me, too. The seven of us ended up playing cards for two hours, until Zoey started yawning and I could barely hold my eyes open. But as soon as I turned out the lights and my body hit the sheets, my brain turned on, and it hasn’t shut up since, a non-stop chatter of thoughts swirling in my head at volume ten. I’m half tempted to ask Jax for whatever concoction he gave Zoey to help her sleep.
I pull a robe on around my pajama pants and camisole and make my way down the hall. Out in the living room, it’s Daniel and Jude sitting around the dining room table tonight, Trigg is in his usual spot on the floor — I’m beginning to suspect he sleeps that way at his place, too — and Jax is curled up on the couch.
Daniel is up and moving toward me. There’s weariness in his stride, but he has a smile for me. “Emma, can’t sleep?”
I shake my head and lay my hand on the palm he extends. “Too much going through my mind.”
His fingers close around mine, his eyes fixed on me. “Can I pour you a glass of wine? Get you anything?”
“Some wine would be lovely, thank you.” I could use something to occupy my hands — and silence the cacophony of noise in my head. I glance around again as I follow Daniel into the kitchen. “Where’s Gunner?”
“He went to take a bath.”
I watch Daniel pull a bottle from the collection he’s amassed in the far corner beside the sink. “A bath?”
“He rummaged through that box of oils and salts you found. He’s been in there for a while already, but he brought his book, so I don’t expect to see him for some time.”
The man can even make uncorking a bottle of wine look suave. He handles the corkscrew like a mechanic wields a wrench, and the cork is out with a stiff pull that appears effortless compared to my brutal yanking attempts. More often than not, I break the cork in half.
I retrieve two glasses from the cabinet and hold one toward him, my eyebrow raised in question. “Care to join me?”
Daniel checks his wristwatch. “Suppose I can. It’ll be Jax’s turn to sit watch in about twenty minutes.”
“Really, you guys don’t need to stay up around the clock. You can send that security detail Jude was talking about. You don’t have to—” I halt, not wanting in the least to sound ungrateful “—I mean, you’ve all been so amazing. I know Zoey really appreciates having you here, too. But… I know you must be exhausted and wishing you had a bed to sleep in about now.”
“No, it’s good for us,” Daniel says. “The guys are in their element right now — this schedule is like second-nature for them. They ate, slept, and breathed this kind of shift rotation out in the field.”
“What about you?”
Daniel sets the bottle of wine down and looks around, a sweet sentimentality in his expression. “This place reminds me a little of an apartment we had down on Seventh — on the East Side.”
“When you were a kid?”
He nods, picking up the wine bottle again and filling both our glasses. “The layout is similar. But also, I spent a lot of time on the couch back then, too. It was a two-bedroom apartment that needed to accommodate two parents, a son, and a daughter. Someone had to give up having their own room, and it sure wasn’t going to be my little sister.”
Something about that makes my nose crinkle with a smile. “Why am I having a hard time picturing you as anyone’s little brother?”
Daniel gives me an easy grin. “Happens to the best of us. Hey, even Gunner has a big sister.”
“So I’ve heard,” I say with a smile.
As we sip our wine together in a comfortable silence, an idea forms in my mind, a way to perhaps quiet the million thoughts flying around up there. “Speaking of Gunner, I think I might take him a beer and talk to him for a bit.”
“I’m sure he’d love some company in there,” Daniel says with a conspiratorial wink.
I laugh. “That’s not what I have in mind. He’ll have to keep the suds to himself tonight.” I need to talk this out, but I need to go for my soft target first — in case I crash in a burning wreck. I turn to the fridge. “Do you know if he still has some of that chocolate stout in here?”
“Yes, I think I spotted a bottle in the back, under the crisper drawer.”
I rummage around, shuffling groceries about, and finally lay my hands on the stout. I stand up and move back to the counter next to Daniel. “Thanks, I found it,” I say, holding the bottle up. I watch his eyes for a long moment, his confident gaze never parting from mine.
I lay a hand on his arm and lean into him, wanting to taste those beautiful lips of his. But I decide at the last minute to go for a kiss on the cheek, because I’m not sure how comfortable Daniel is with public displays of affection. Even though we’
re in the privacy of my apartment, he might feel more than a friendly gesture is too much in front of the other guys.
He accepts my smooch on the cheek, but before I pull away, he turns into my kiss, his lips sweeping across mine, a gentle hand on the back of my head pulling me closer. I tilt my head up, and he deepens our kiss, making my pulse flutter.
He releases me just as gently, and I open my eyes. “Wow,” I tell him, a smile spreading across my face.
“Now I’m all set for the night. I can go to sleep a happy man.”
I sigh and lean my head against his chest. “You know the words that get right to a woman’s heart, Daniel.”
He wraps me in a tender hug, and I’m tempted to just stay right here in his arms for the rest of the night, to let his embrace lull me back to dreamland.
But he releases me after a few minutes and hands me the chocolate stout. “I’m going to go finish my shift with Jude. You go talk to Gunner. Make sure he hasn’t fallen asleep in the tub with his book floating in the water.”
“Okay.” I grab my wine glass in my other hand and head out of the kitchen. Before I disappear around the corner, I turn back to him. “Daniel?”
He pauses in his task of pushing the cork back into the top of the bottle and lifts his head to meet my eyes. “Yes?”
“Thank you again for everything you’re doing. Making me delicious food, keeping watch through the middle of the night. For taking my breath away with that kiss.”
I love the way his eyes light up and the curve of that sexy smile on his lips. “The pleasure is all mine,” he says.
Leaving Daniel to get back to the rest of his night shift with Jude, I pad back down the hall to the bathroom door, steeling myself for the conversation to come, sex euphemisms and all. I use one knuckle to knock on the thin, wood paneled door.
“Come in.”
I crack the door open and peek inside, making sure of the scene before I enter. Of all the things I expected I might see, it’s definitely not this. I slide my body through the door a little further to get a better look.
Broken Process Page 8
