by Stella
“Really, Gage?” She didn’t seem very amused. “I have a tiny human inside me. I have every right to complain about someone putting pressure on it.”
“Fine. Come on. I’ve got a better idea.” I grabbed her hand, helped her off the bed, and then dragged her back downstairs.
“Why are we coming down here?”
“I need to get you on something higher so I can just stand and rock without laying on you. The kitchen table should work.”
She abruptly stopped behind me and twisted her hand out of my grasp. “We are not having sex on the kitchen table.”
“Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“Bending me over the table is not the same as spreading me out on top of it. Not to mention, that won’t be the slightest bit comfortable on my back. I’ll end up with splinters up and down my spine.”
“First it’s your stomach. Now it’s your back. Is there anything you won’t gripe about?”
If she weren’t so horny, that could’ve ended badly.
Katie huffed and stared holes into my head. “There aren’t many positions we can do, and just about all the ones I’m aware of are from behind. So suck it up, buttercup, and bend me over.”
“Damn, Katiebug…you don’t have to devalue this with such vulgar language. Can we at least try the kitchen counter first before we start acting ten shades of desperado?”
She stalked toward me and took my hand. I smiled with gratitude and went to take a step toward the kitchen. Little did I know, she had other plans. And as she led me into the living room, I followed, wondering what she possibly thought was high enough in there to lay her across. Then again, what the hell did I know? She had more than likely spent the last two months mapping out our rompfest from room to room.
Releasing my hand, she turned and held onto the back of the couch, lifting herself onto her tiptoes and bending at the waist. She even shook her ass a little to tempt me. However, I wasn’t ready to concede just yet. With a pop on her behind that made her yelp, I said, “Unless you’re that chick in the Exorcist who can twist her head around, I won’t be able to see your face.” I grabbed her hips to direct her around the couch and added, “And if you are that chick, then this isn’t gonna happen. Well, it could still happen. Actually, it might work out best…that crab crawl could work in our favor.”
“Gage! We’re wasting precious time here.”
“Fine. No need to get all huffy.”
I managed to get her to the center of the room and sat her on the coffee table. The irritable expression she gave me now made her previous unamused one seem rather happy. And it only got worse with every failed attempt to slide safely into home plate.
“You have five seconds, Gage.”
“I’m trying. But you’re not making it easy, you know. How am I supposed to get into your dugout with all these stipulations? I’m only asking for one thing—to see your face when I remind you who the king is. Your list of demands is a mile long.”
“Time’s up.” She stood and grabbed my shoulders.
I was about to tell her that I didn’t think I could perform while standing and holding her, now that our son had decided to make things impossible, but she silenced my concern with trickery. At first, I thought she was leading me to the couch so she could straddle me. But then, she used brute force to push me onto the floor. I’d barely started to regain my bearings when she straddled me, facing the wrong way.
“Baby…I think you misunderstood me. I wanted to see your—” Katie sank down on top of me, making me forget what I was saying. Hell, it was enough to make me forget my own name. Well, that was a bit extreme. No one could forget my name. But still…it was that good.
As soon as she had herself seated with my cock buried deep inside, she leaned forward, grabbing my thighs to brace herself, and began to rock. Back and forth. Up and down. I wanted to close my eyes and lose myself in the way she gripped me from inside. Yet I also wanted to watch the way her back arched and then curled. Admire the dimples at the base of her spine. Memorize each roll of her hips as she rode me. Although, the sight of where our bodies joined convinced me to keep my eyes open. When she lifted herself, my dick nearly slid out of her warmth, though she stopped with only the head remaining inside, right before I sank deep into her all over again. Then she cradled my balls in her hand, played with them like they were her own personal toys.
“Holy fuck, baby…” I could barely get the words out. I’d grown completely lost in her until I was on the verge of exploding.
Luckily, I didn’t have to hold on long. After two months of nothing, it didn’t take much for her to spiral out of control. When she began to lose the ability to guide herself, her body too coiled to move fluidly, I grabbed her hips and finished her off. Her screams of passion were filled with air, nothing more than whimpers into the quiet room.
And when she grew limp, completely sated, I pulled her to me. She settled into me with her shoulder blades against the top of my chest, legs on either side of mine, and her face so close I could press my cheek to hers. She pulled her feet flat against the floor and bent her knees while I held her and finished pumping into her. I didn’t care that it was wild or animalistic. It didn’t bother me that this resembled fucking more than making love. Because at the end of the day…I was with Katie.
Just before I let go and gave her all I had, I realized it didn’t matter if she was bent over, on all fours, against the couch or the kitchen table. On the bed, under the covers, half-dressed or fully naked. It didn’t matter if it lasted five minutes or twenty, if we screamed or whispered, panted or grunted. All that mattered was that I did those things with her, and her with me.
With one final pump, I held myself deep inside her at the same time she pushed against me, taking me as far as she could. A rush of air left my lips just as a hum vibrated hers. And then we fell into the most comfortable silence we’d ever existed in, both fighting to catch our breath.
“Thank God that sticker moved,” I panted into her ear.
She giggled and then rolled to the side. The worst part about sex with Katie was when I slipped out of her, because no matter how much trust I had in her, no matter how much I believed she wouldn’t go anywhere despite the money she now had, leaving her warmth left me with an alarming amount of worry that I’d never get to feel her again.
Lying next to me, curled into my side, she pulled my lips to hers. And with one kiss, she reassured me that it wasn’t the last time. Maybe she read my mind, or maybe she somehow understood me better than anyone else, because she always seemed to pick the right moment to calm my fears. Be it with a kiss or a quiet comment about never wanting to leave, it was like she just knew when I needed it the most and offered it freely.
“Hey, Gage?” Her voice was soft yet heavy, as if she had something weighing on her mind and she needed to get it out before she collapsed under the pressure of it. “You don’t ever talk much about your mom. I’ve heard enough to understand what had happened and how you feel about it, but have you thought at all about reaching out to her?”
“Where did that come from?”
She shrugged and settled against me with her arm draped over my chest. “Becoming a mother myself has made me think a lot about my own mom. Sometimes I find myself wishing she were still alive so I could share this with her. Other times I’m glad she’s gone, because it eliminates the option of finding her and possibly being let down all over again. And it’s made me wonder how you’re dealing with this since…your mom is still alive.”
“Honestly, I haven’t given it much thought. I don’t think guys need their parents during a pregnancy the way women do. Having a baby bonds a mother and a daughter in ways it never would a son.”
She was quiet for a moment, and I wondered if making that point only left her contemplating the relationship she would have with our son when he reached this point in his own life. I had no doubt it wouldn’t be the same as what I talked about regarding my mother, though I wasn’t sure how to
explain that to her properly.
“But that doesn’t mean I never think about her,” I continued. “Going through this with you constantly makes me question how she could’ve turned her back so easily. She was young—I get it. Except that only goes so far. She’s forty-six…at some point, being fourteen when she had a baby stopped being a reason for her carelessness and just became a pathetic excuse for never doing the right thing.”
“So you have no desire to reach out to her for closure? Maybe get a chance to tell her how you feel? How her actions have affected you?”
“No. Honestly, when she didn’t come to Granny’s funeral, I decided then that I never wanted to see her or hear from her again. I mean, I doubt I will. With the entire country knowing about you and that we’re having a baby, if she hasn’t popped up looking for some way to exploit me, then I think it’s safe to say she’s moved on.”
“When was the last time you saw her? Or spoke to her?”
As pathetic as it was, I had to stop and think about it. I stared at the spinning blades on the ceiling fan above me and thought back to almost ten years ago when she’d shown up out of the blue. “Right after I got signed to the Majors, she found me. We had a long talk then. She apologized for not being able to be the kind of mother I deserved, and I forgave her. Silly me, I thought if I had something to offer, she’d stick around. I gave her some money, and then I never saw her again—in person, I mean.”
“Granny told me about that. I never thought it was possible to see such regret in a mother’s eyes regarding their children. And she never said it, but I swear, it felt like she wished she’d been able to give you a better mom. Like somehow, she blamed herself for what her daughter did to you.”
Just the thought of Granny, no matter what it was about, brought a smile to my face. Katie did that for me. It wasn’t too long ago that the mention of Granny would have had me so far into a black hole I wouldn’t know which way was up. But somehow, either by talking about her or feeling like a piece of her heart was still with me as long as I had Katie by my side, the sadness had nearly vanished, and in its place grew happiness. Joy. Gratitude and love.
“Yeah. I remember once when I was younger—couldn’t have been more than fifteen or sixteen—she told me about the baby she and Pops lost. It was before my mom, but I can’t remember now how much before. Anyway, I guess that baby had been a boy, but something happened while she was pregnant, and they lost him. And then when my mom was born, Granny spoiled her rotten. My mom ran that house. And it wasn’t until it was too late that Granny and Pops saw the writing on the wall—though, by then, there was nothing they could do to rein their daughter back in.”
“She told me she was scared that God would take your mom from her. After she lost her son, she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to have another baby.” It didn’t surprise me that Katie had heard this before. I doubted there was anything Granny hadn’t told her. “But then you came along, and as pissed as they were about their young, teenage daughter having a baby, they refused to see you as anything less than a blessing.”
“Yeah, she told me the same thing.”
“Did she ever tell you about her dream?”
I shook my head.
“She said it was maybe a week before your mom told them she was pregnant, she dreamt she was in a field, and a man approached her. He called himself Daniel. When she woke up and replayed it in her mind, it brought her to tears because that was what they’d planned to name their son.” She paused before adding, “Granny never told you any of this?”
“No. I mean, I knew about the boy they lost, but nothing else.”
“Well, so this man walked across the field to her and said something along the lines of letting go of guilt. I don’t remember what it was, but she recited it word for word as if she’d woken up from it that morning. It was just one of those things that always stuck with her. She’d written it down and kept it in her nightstand for years, never understanding it.”
I clung to her every word, desperately needing the whole story.
“And then one night when you were little, sometime after your mom left, Granny said you were scared and crawled into their bed. It was storming, and you were crying, worried that your mom was outside and would get hurt.”
My eyes closed, and I fought against logic to remember this event taking place, though nothing came to mind. For the life of me, I couldn’t recall one piece of this story. As if it were about someone else, I could only picture it happening as she told it, without a single hint of remembrance on my part.
“After she got you calmed down and asleep, she said she spent most of the night crying. She blamed herself for your mother leaving. She couldn’t help but think if she’d given her more consequences, you wouldn’t have been alone. That same night she had another dream. She was in the same field, although this time, the sky was dark, like it was overcast or something. It wasn’t raining, but the scene wasn’t bright like the sun was out. Daniel, once again, told her she needed to release her guilt.”
Gooseflesh covered my body from head to toe, and the hairs on my arms stood on end.
“Daniel pointed to the sky and told her that until she learned to forgive herself, the sun would be shielded by the colors of regret and remorse. I’m paraphrasing here. I don’t remember the exact words she used, although I’m not far off. Anyway, she woke up with you in her arms and decided at that moment to raise you as her own and never let what had happened with your mom affect you. Until her last breath, she believed that the man in the field was her son and that she was given your mother so that she would have you.”
I held Katie closer, unable to speak from the heavy emotions clogging my throat.
And just like Granny had been convinced that the birth of one child was meant to give her the life of another, I couldn’t help but believe that her death had been for a purpose, too—to give me the life of my own son.
Chapter Fourteen
Katie
“Have you guys started setting up the nursery yet?” Ellie and Corinne had made a habit of coming over most mornings that Gage was away to keep me company. She brought real coffee, so I couldn’t complain—not that I wanted to.
“No. Other than the one time it came up with you guys, we haven’t even discussed which room will be the baby’s. Right now, the spare room is filled with Granny’s stuff that we haven’t gone through, and we’ve yet to touch her bedroom.”
She set her coffee down after nearly choking on it. “You and Gage still have separate rooms?”
I didn’t know why she was so surprised by that. Granted, I slept in his every night, but I had maintained my own space. With both hands wrapped around the warm to-go cup she’d brought, I shrugged. “Yeah, why wouldn’t we?”
Ellie leaned back in the chair with her legs crossed, and she folded her arms over her chest. “I guess I thought the two of you were…I don’t know…” She searched for the words she wanted to use that wouldn’t freak me out.
“An item?” I suggested.
“Well, yeah. He certainly hasn’t shied away from telling the press that you’re his girlfriend, and since you live together, I assumed you actually shared the same bed. I’m surprised you’ve managed to keep Gage from taking over your room if you haven’t moved into his.”
“Just because my stuff is across the hall doesn’t mean I actually sleep there. Even when Gage is gone, unless I fall asleep on the couch, I’m usually in his room. It’s silly, but it makes me feel closer to him.”
She waved me off and picked up her coffee again. With the cup hovering in front of her mouth, she said, “It’s not silly at all. Coby and I weren’t even together when he was still playing for the Titans, and having him gone was tough. The two of you really need to figure this out. Where are you putting all the stuff you’ve bought for the baby if you don’t have a nursery?”
My eyes floated around the room trying to find a place to land that didn’t include meeting Ellie’s gaze. I opted for the floor when I f
ound the courage to admit, “I haven’t bought anything.”
Corinne took that moment to join the conversation. “Eighty, dey dookie a lot. You need diapews.” Her little face scrunched up as though the thought repulsed her, which it probably did.
“You need more than diapers, Katie! The baby’s due in less than ten weeks. You don’t have anything?” She stared as I shook my head. “Corinne, go get Mama’s purse.”
I was ashamed to confess that I didn’t have a clue how to prepare for a baby, and without having my mom or Granny around, I was lost over where to start.
Corinne returned from the living room toting Ellie’s purse on her shoulder. I couldn’t stifle the giggle that left my mouth while watching her tote a bag that was almost as big as she was and owning it. All she needed was a pair of heels and sunglasses to rock the cover of Vogue Toddler Edition.
Ellie reached into her pocketbook and brought out one of those fancy day planners. I had no idea people even still used paper calendars. When she opened it and started flipping through the pages, I was stunned to see all the stickers and writing from top to bottom of every page—that thing was a nod to modern art.
“What about the fifteenth or the twenty-second?” Her eyes popped up to meet mine.
“For what?”
“Your baby shower!” The lilt in her voice hinted at excitement, while all the suggestion did for me was remind me just how alone I was.
“Oh, Ellie, I appreciate it, but I don’t think so.” I didn’t want to tell her there was no point in having a party for me, her, and Corinne—the three of us could do that sitting at the kitchen table any day she wanted.
“Gage is home both of those days. We can make it co-ed and kid-friendly so the guys from the team can bring their wives and families. There are games both afternoons, but we could do something at like eleven and have lunch.” The hopeful gleam in her eyes made my next comment all that much harder to say.
