Resisting Redemption

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Resisting Redemption Page 2

by Bonnie R. Paulson


  Staring at his son’s physical therapist only created confusion where Ryan preferred things black and white. He abandoned the appealing view and called a supplier he’d intended to talk with for a week now.

  The last thing he needed – no, the last thing he could afford, was adopting sloppy business practices. If he didn’t take care of Jesse, who would?

  ~~~

  The rub of plastic on wood flooring announced Jesse before his voice did. “Dad? Lisa’s gone. Can I play on the computer for a little bit, please?” He reached Ryan’s office and knocked on the partially open door before shoving the panel open all the way to fit his walker through the doorway. “She said I’m getting better. Do you think I could try riding a horse soon?”

  Ryan stood from his seat at the desk and gave what he hoped passed for an encouraging smile. “I don’t know, buddy. We can look into it. You know you have limitations though. So don’t be too disappointed, if it doesn’t work out.”

  “Yes, sir.” The light in Jesse’s eyes dimmed and he dropped his chin toward his chest. Turning as if to go, Jesse shuffled his feet loosely, like he expected them to stop working because of his father’s words.

  Screwing up his face and silently cursing himself, Ryan rounded the desk-island and rushed to stop his son. He pulled him close and bent some to put himself more on eye level with the ten-year-old. “I’m sorry, Jesse. I didn’t mean that the way it came out. If we can figure out how to do it, we can at least try, okay?”

  A slow nod with a half-hearted smile would have to be enough for Ryan and he took it.

  “Come on, buddy. Let’s go check on the new calf.” He grabbed his hat hooked to the wall by the door and matched Jesse’s slower gait.

  “Did Shelby finally have one?” Jesse’s soft-spoken concern melted Ryan’s irritation at the continued naming of the bison. They were for sale, not to be pets.

  He bit back his reprimand and pushed open the front door. “She had the baby this morning. Come on, we might be able to give the mama a brush down.”

  Walking across the drive to the barn, Ryan glanced again at Jesse’s gait. “Hey, you’re doing pretty good with that thing. Still like it?”

  The wheelchair had been Jesse’s norm for so long, Ryan hadn’t been prepared when Jesse’s new pediatrician had suggested a physical therapist to train him how to walk, even if it’d been assisted.

  Jesse bounced with sudden excitement. “Yes, sir. It’s so much fun. I can actually go places because of my legs moving and not because of my hands.” He peered down at his sideways tripping feet. “Even if it doesn’t look right, I’m still on them, you know?” He glanced sideways at his dad, a half-smile filled more with sadness than hope.

  “Oh man.” Ryan pulled Jesse to a stop. He knelt down and met his gaze straight on. His hat’s shadow protected his eyes from the startling sunlight but not from the tears on Jesse’s cheeks. “Hey, it doesn’t matter what you do to get around. I promise. It looks right – no matter how you do it. You’re getting better and better. These things take time.”

  Doubt in the tilt of Jesse’s head nearly broke Ryan’s heart. The boy bit his lip and screwed up the left side of his face as he fought tears. “Do you think if I walk good enough, Mom will come back?”

  And Ryan’s heart did crack, right over the spot where it felt like a thousand buffaloes had ripped it to shreds. He cleared his throat, but didn’t hide his reaction from Jesse. His son deserved honesty, no matter how painful.

  Before he could answer, Jesse shook his head. “Never mind, I really don’t want to know right now. Do you think you can go to the wedding? Lisa doesn’t have any friends and she needs someone there that she knows.” He hung his head again, his mumble distinct on the soft breeze. “I know it’s hard not to have any friends.”

  Uncomfortable with the distinct emotion in the air, Ryan lightened his tone. Hopefully, he could help pull Jesse from whatever doldrums he seemed to be stuck in. “Sure, I’ll go. I’ll even get her a frou-frou drink, how’s that sound?” At least he had a reason now to talk to her outside of a professional arena. The woman wouldn’t be able to say no to a non-alcoholic drink.

  She’d have to speak to Ryan, rather than around him to get to Jesse. What he wouldn’t give to know, if she was even worth all the time he spent thinking about her. Most women weren’t – as evidenced by Jesse’s mother. But he didn’t need to marry Lisa, just figure out what she was like.

  With a body like hers, she most likely had men breaking down the door to see her.

  Lisa

  Chapter 3

  The morning of the wedding dawned earlier than Lisa wanted. She stretched on her queen-sized mattress and rolled to stare at the ceiling. Johnny Mayfair would be there since he was dating Sara Beth, Lisa’s half-sister. Yeah, her ex-boyfriend was dating her new sister. How great was that?

  Lisa rubbed her eyes, yawning. The sleepless night didn’t want to release her to the day. Okay, who was she kidding? She didn’t want to get out of bed and face the approaching time of the wedding. The last thing she needed was to realize she had nothing to do except avoid the party.

  Thrusting from her bed, she yanked on silky shorts and a t-shirt. She always slept naked, a fact she used to tease potential boyfriends with. She wasn’t vain enough to think it was because she was pretty that they reacted the way they did. Men were obvious – always had been. The thought of something almost did the same as the actual thing right in front of them.

  She needed something sweet to curb her crankiness. Men made her tense. Even if there weren’t any around. Moving to the small kitchen of the townhome condo in Colby, Lisa retrieved the cinnamon rolls from the fridge. She’d given in a few days before and purchased the sweets for breakfasts. Starting the day with something decadent just seemed so… liberating.

  Swiping her finger through thick white frosting, Lisa glared at the dark brown swirl in the dough. She’d never understand why she was alone when she had so many prospects for boyfriends. Even Charlie…

  Lisa groaned, dropping her head into her hands. Leaning on the counter, she closed her eyes. No. Not Charlie again. “Stop it, Lisa. Dang it, stop!” She opened her eyes and picked up a wooden spoon abandoned in the small sink and hurled it at the wall beside the door.

  Tap-tap-tap. The metal on metal sound of her door knocker startled her and she jolted upright. “Who in the world?”

  Crossing the few feet to the door, Lisa peered out the peephole. The back of a man’s cowboy hat stared back at her. Okay, the hat didn’t mean much. She lived in Montana. Even the cows were known for wearing a Stetson.

  Swinging the door open, she planted her hand on her hip and lifted her chin. “Yeah?”

  The man turned revealing his tawny coloring and intense brown gaze. “Good morning, Ms. Trinkett. I hope I’m not catching you at an inopportune time.” He shouldered his way into the small room, his size shrinking the room to playhouse scale.

  Internally, Lisa moaned and not in a good way. “Mendez. What do you want?” She crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she’d donned a bra before tossing on her slight clothing.

  The federal agent didn’t even look at her as he perused the apartment like she had a drug cartel stored under her couch cushions and an illegal arms dealership in her cabinets. He studied every corner before finally settling his cool gaze on Lisa.

  Arching an eyebrow, he clenched his jaw. “Ms. Trinkett, I thought I made myself clear at the rodeo. Be straight with me and there won’t be any problems.” He lowered his voice and stepped closer, suddenly zeroing his gaze on hers. “But mess with me and my investigation and…” His voice trailed off as he held her gaze.

  But Lisa had been threatened by the best of them. She dropped her arms and took a step into his space. She growled from behind teeth that refused to part. “Don’t push me, Mendez. I don’t care who you’re with. I can’t give you information I don’t have. Now get the hell out of my place.”

  He retreated, but only a few inches. Conside
ring her, eyes hard with aggression, the agent didn’t speak for a long drawn out moment.

  Lisa held her ground, not moving, not relenting under his sabre-like stare.

  Switching gears, he became affable and grinning, the whites of his teeth dazzling. “Did you see that girl ride the horse at the rodeo? The one in a wheelchair? She did great. Nice to see traditions adapt.” He turned to the door, pulling it open as he turned back to face her. “Did you know her name is Sara Beth? Just like another girl on Caracus’s list of offspring. Just like you.”

  And with that he disappeared, closing the door behind him.

  Stunned, Lisa sank to the loveseat, pulling her legs to her chest and staring at the plush brown rug still dusty from his boots.

  He’d confirmed her as the Lisa he’d been searching for. He might have even found Sara Beth and her older sister, Rosie. What did Lisa do? Mendez wasn’t known for being an easy-going agent. He’d hounded her for a while now but hadn’t been able to put anything together. She’d always stayed on the move and changed her last name often.

  For Agent Mendez, every case was black and white. If he suspected that any of the girls had part in anything illegal, he’d collar them for it and ask questions later.

  Lisa shivered. She’d seen him do it to Charlie.

  Well, there went her plans to avoid the wedding and the Scott sisters. Even if she didn’t want to consider them family, she at least owed a warning to anyone Jason Mendez was after. The man wouldn’t stop and Sara Beth and Rosie needed to be ready.

  And to be honest? Lisa didn’t fight attending the celebration that hard. If Ryan Noland was going to be there, she really just needed a reason to go.

  Ryan

  Chapter 4

  White chairs set up in clean rows waited patiently for guests to fill them.

  Ryan transferred his glass from one hand to the other, balancing it precariously on one knee while scratching his elbow, then reclaiming it to sip the overly-sweet punch he’d chosen. In a chair in the back row far off to the left, he didn’t take his eyes off the entrance gate to the wedding site.

  If Lisa was coming, he’d see her arrive.

  His Stetson wasn’t coming off in the increasingly hot sun. Even the minimal shade the hat offered was better than anything else in the immediate area. Fortunately, he’d worn light linen but only because Kelsey Redbird-James had made him change when she’d walked through the door of his house.

  Instead of saying hi, like a normal human, his cousin thumped him on the back and scowled, asking if he was planning on sweating to death at Rosie’s wedding.

  Thank goodness Kelsey was around. She understood Ryan, got why he couldn’t be on the reservation, figured out why his wife’s abandonment stung so much, and also why he didn’t want to be with anyone else. She also adored Jesse. Every once in a while, she brought her kids over to watch Jesse and let them all play.

  The wedding day was one of those days. At eight months pregnant, she’d refused to go to a huge party and lumber around – her words not his. So instead, he was going and Kelsey was dangling her feet in his pond while the kids played.

  At the moment, Ryan would rather be at his ranch than at Rourke Ranch. He flipped open his phone and dialed home. A few rings and Kelsey answered.

  “Hey, Kels, how’s Jesse doin’? Do I need to come home?” He almost wished she’d say yes, in fact, please say yes.

  Her laugh reminded him so much of his mother’s deep throat chortle. Her grin reached him through the phone. “No, silly. Enjoy yourself. Me and the boys are just throwing water at each other and I think the girls found your cattail garden.” She shrieked. “And you have frogs? Why? Why would you do that?”

  “Okay, well, I was just checking to make sure you’re doing okay. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be.” He glanced half-heartedly at the entrance, but his hopes were dying that Lisa would be there. She hadn’t seemed really interested when he’d asked her about it. Why had he let Jesse talk him into coming?

  “Hang on, Ryan.” Kelsey covered the mouthpiece of the phone and spoke to the children then returned to the conversation, lowering her voice. “I don’t know what’s going on, or even who it was exactly, but a woman called about five maybe ten minutes ago asking first for you and then Jesse. I didn’t let her speak to him or even say where you were, but I did give her your cell number. I better go, okay? See you when you get back.” She clicked the phone into place.

  Pulse racing, Jesse stole a peek at his watch. How had he missed the time frame? Was Jesse’s birthday a week away? So fast. He couldn’t believe it.

  His phone buzzed in his hand.

  The screen lit up and Wanda spelled across the face.

  Suddenly shaking and a cold sweat bursting over him, he pressed answer and lifted the phone carefully to his ear. “Yeah?”

  “Ryan, it’s me. How are you?” Her voice hadn’t changed from the last time she’d called a year ago and even then it hadn’t changed since the last time he’d seen her.

  Swallowing, he turned from the front of the wedding setup and faced off to the side, suggesting to anyone who tried to approach him that he wasn’t available to talk.

  How was he? Seriously? “I’m great.” Awesome! Perfect! Never needed you in the first place!

  She cleared her throat. “That’s good. How’s… um, how’s Jesse?” She waited, her breathlessness irritating and seemingly contrived.

  Chest tight, Ryan didn’t answer. She didn’t deserve it. He never answered when she asked about their son. She didn’t deserve it!

  “Okay, is he there? Can I tell him happy birthday? This year? Please…” Her voice trailed off, the end sounding like a whimper.

  “Come tell him yourself and while you’re at it, tell him it’s not his fault you left. Tell him why you abandoned him at three days old. Why you left me. Until you do it to his face, I’ll never let you speak to him.” Ryan clicked the phone shut, but the small slap of plastic on plastic didn’t do enough. He stood, long strides pulling him toward the split-rail fence separating the pasture from the large field-like lawn.

  Bracing his hands on the top rail, he stepped back and dropped his head between his arms. But nothing calmed him. His ex-wife. She’d left him. So long ago, and still had the power to irritate him beyond reason.

  Hell, if it didn’t still hurt being left like that.

  Walking the anger off wasn’t going to work. He needed to see that bartender again and this time, he was going to drink something that stung.

  Lisa

  Chapter 5

  Lisa adjusted the strap of her bright blue and white striped summer dress. She’d forgotten why she’d shoved the dumb thing in the back of her closet. The tight top dug into her shoulders and the hem wrapped around her ankles when she tried to walk. She didn’t exaggerate when she claimed the garment as her personal death trap.

  Sipping bright red punch under a large poplar tree, Lisa skimmed over the numerous unfamiliar faces milling about the reception. She wasn’t ashamed to admit her disinterest in sitting through the ceremony, so she’d arrived late. Plus, who would she have sat with? Weddings weren’t something single women showed up to alone. That was like… going to a rodeo in high heels and a prom dress.

  She tilted the cup back, ice smacking her in the lips. Gone. Great. She’d have to cross the lawn filled with people who might as well be landmines standing in her way for another drink. Did she need a second that bad?

  “Can I get you another drink?” Mr. Noland angled his head into her field of view and smiled politely. Ugh, his eternal formality might make her scream.

  She held her cup aloft. “Thank you, but I’m not sure I need anymore.”

  He arched an eyebrow her way. Lifting his drink, he rocked forward and backward on the balls of his feet. His hot and cold moods with her almost made her blind to his brooding handsomeness – the broad shoulders, the firm jawline, the Salish creamy brown skin. She had to be careful or she’d sigh just from looking at him.

/>   Oh, no, was she still staring?

  Uncomfortable with the stretched silence, Lisa widened her eyes and returned her attention to the crowd. If she could at least find Sara Beth, then she could drop her message and get the heck out of there. But finding the wheelchair-bound girl was proving impossible.

  Mr. Noland cleared his throat, holding his drink at waist level. “I’m surprised you came. You sounded so certain that you wouldn’t.”

  Shooting a fleeting glance to catch his expression, Lisa lifted her shoulder – more to keep the strap in place than anything. “Something came up, Mr. Noland. Turns out I didn’t really have a choice.” More than a little irritated with his nearness because, frankly, Lisa wasn’t used to being shot down by men and he’d shot her friendly overtures down, over and over.

 

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