by Matthew Fish
“She died…,” Elise finished. “We were very poor.”
“I know,” Mrs. Alice said as she averted her eyes from Elise and looked toward the boiling pot of peeled potatoes.
“Grandmother is very rich.”
“She can also be very unforgiving,” Mrs. Alice sadly said, looking on the verge of tears. “And stubborn. She is very set in her ways. When your mother refused to take care of Red Manor with her, grandmother cut your mother off under the belief that this would force her to return one day.
“She did return, though, just before?”
“Yes, she did,” Mrs. Alice said as she got up with some effort and went back to attending the meal preparation, “Came and left the very same day.”
“Does grandmother hate me?”
“Of course not—I believe she is just regretful. I think if anything she sees a chance in you to perhaps redeem some of the mistakes she made with her mother.”
“Am I to remain here in my mother’s place?” Elise asked. She did not have much to go back to in the city. After all, she was treated rather poorly and dreaded the thought of returning to school once the summer was over.
“That is up to you, I’d imagine,” Mrs. Alice replied as she drained the boiling hot water down the metal sink, causing steam to travel up to her face. Little droplets of sweat formed on her brow. Wiping the sweat away with her towel, she went to the icebox to retrieve some meat.
“If I decided to stay, how would I continue with school?”
“I’d imagine grandmother would hire you a tutor from the mainland. As you said, she is very rich.”
“Would you stay as well?” Elise asked. Besides her new friend in Ryan, Mrs. Alice was the person to which she was closest.
“Of course,” Mrs. Alice said as another wave of sadness washed over her and she stood by the icebox with a slab of lamb in hand, motionless, as though lost in a memory of her own.
“Wouldn’t you miss your family?” Elise asked.
“Don’t got one anymore,” Mrs. Alice whispered as she shook the memory from her mind and placed the raw meat upon a wooden cutting board. “Not since the fire…I was the only one that escaped.”
“I am so sorry,” Elise said, feeling terrible for asking. It seemed as though everyone here had some sort of traumatic history—including herself.
“Long time ago, not that it doesn’t cross my mind from time to time,” Mrs. Alice softly said as she began to work with a butcher knife. Mrs. Alice suddenly dropped the knife, as tears came streaming down from her eyes. She reached for her towel and attempted to keep the flood of sadness at bay.
Elise rushed over and gave Mrs. Alice a hug, squeezing the large woman. She felt even worse now for bringing up the subject. “I am so sorry—“
“Oh, ’Lisey,” Mrs. Alice said through cracking sobs. “Ain’t your fault.”
“I should not have asked,” Elise said.
“You didn’t know no better,” Mrs. Alice said as she wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes. “Like I said before, it was a long time ago. So many years that you’d think I’d not get so worked up as I do…and you, so brave, no tears and your sadness so recent.”
“It is not bravery,” Elise quietly said as she released her embrace. “I just learned at an early age that nothing in life is permanent. We all just go somewhere else when we need to. Hopefully we all end up somewhere that makes us happy. I envy you in a way, Mrs. Alice; sometimes I think of my mother and her death and feel nothing. I did not even cry at her funeral. Does that make me a bad person?”
“Of course not, ’Lisey,” Mrs. Alice said as she allowed a smile to grace her tear-streaked lips. “I like your thinking much better. I would like to think that I believe the same thing or something very similar to what you’ve got going on in your head. You definitely ain’t bad. You’ve brought life to this old house once more. Before you came, right after your mother died, greyness set in and hung about. You’ve lifted that.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Alice.” Elise smiled.
“No, child,” Mrs. Alice said as she returned the smile, “thank you.”
After finishing her chores, Elise went outside for a walk in the cool evening air. She raised her arms out like a bird and breathed in deeply—the air smelled of flowers and the breeze from the water carried a myriad of scents that she had grown rather fond of. She walked along the path for a spell and diverged toward a patch of sand on the small stretch of beach. She sat in the sand, her hands pressed into the grains that felt rough yet caressing against her skin. A seagull flew overhead. She watched it rise and fall in the air until it disappeared into the dim light of what remained of the day.
“Would you mind some company?” Ryan asked behind her.
Elise whirled; she had been so lost in the moment that she had not heard him approach. In a strange way she missed his company and was happy for his return. “Of course, sit with me if you wish.”
“It is a wonderful night,” Ryan said as he sat down upon the small plot of sand and watched as waves gently rolled in a few feet ahead.
“How was the trip into the city?” Elise asked. She was conflicted with the idea that she had not been invited. She might have liked to have seen some familiar sights once more but remembered the cruelty that remained there was well.
“Uneventful,” Ryan answered as he looked into Elise’s eyes.
For a moment Elise saw a flash of grey in Ryan’s eyes. She wondered why she had not noticed the unusual color before. “Your eyes are grey….”
“They are,” Ryan said as he quickly looked away to the sand beneath his feet. “Do you find that strange? It is unusual, isn’t it?”
“I find it beautiful,” Elise said without really thinking. She was usually reserved and spent more time structuring a reply but found that these words somehow slipped through without being filtered.
“Thank you, Elise,” Ryan said as he looked towards her once more. “Your eyes are very beautiful as well.”
“Thank you,” Elise whispered feeling slightly sheepish at receiving a compliment. It was something that she was rather unused to. Being around Ryan was beginning to make her feel slightly uncomfortable. It was not that she did not enjoy his company—instead she found herself feeling strange around him, awkward and lacking in her usual composure. She wondered if she was developing feelings that were past friendship for Ryan. Still, she had many reservations to the idea. She had learned well from her mother that such feelings and experiences seldom lasted. Just as each oncoming wave washed away grains of sand, so would time wash away both life and love. However, given how his company did make her feel somehow happier and greater, she was beginning to understand why her mother spent so much time in the pursuit of it.
“How did things go back here while I was away?” Ryan asked attempting to continue on the conversation.
“I made Mrs. Alice sad,” Elise said plainly. “I brought up family without realizing that she had lost all of hers.”
“Mrs. Alice is a strong woman,” Ryan said as he placed a hand to Elise’s shoulder and patted it in an awkward attempt to be comforting. “She’ll be fine. It is strange to me that you are so concerned with someone who has lost so long ago—when you have lost so recently.”
“I am a strange girl,” Elise said as she looked to darkened sky in the distance—stars were emerging from the azure veil, shimmering in the thin air.
“You are definitely unique,” Ryan said as he kept his gaze fixed upon Elise.
“Is that good or bad?” Elise asked, curious as to what Ryan thought about her. If he even did think of her in any capacity other than an acquaintance.
“I would imagine good,” Ryan answered. “I find you fascinating.”
“Thank you,” Elise replied, blushing. “I find you fascinating as well.”
“Do you?” Ryan asked, “Most people find me strange, or awkward—unusual.”
“I think most people are foolish and I do not believe that you should hold their opinion
s to any merit at all, for I find you none of those things. I think you are a wonderful person,” Elise said as she looked to Ryan. She did find him rather attractive. He had a different, yet handsome look to his face. His features were very defined and sleek. Beyond that he talked to Elise in such a manner that no one else had before. He treated her differently than any boy had in her life. Perhaps it was because he was not from the city as she was. Still, with her limited experience, she wondered if there might be something more. Perhaps she had found in Ryan a kindred spirit, or that elusive soul mate of which her mother had often spoken.
“I think that you are far too kind,” Ryan said as he looked away, as though he was deeply embarrassed by the compliment.
“I am just being honest.”
“So, are you excited about your birthday coming up?” Ryan asked as he dug his shoes into the sand and dragged them back to his thighs, leaving behind a small trail for water to flow into.
“In a way, yes,” Elise answered as she looked to the short, oncoming waves. “I do not like to be the center of attention or the thought of so many strangers there on my accord. Those are two things I am dreading slightly—but you will be there, right?”
“Of course,” Ryan answered.
“Then that does give me some comfort.”
“I would not think to miss such an occasion.”
Elise lets out a loud series of choking coughs as she slowly regains her awareness. She fumbles around in the dark for her lantern, but it is nowhere to be found. Next to her, however, the red book lies waiting. She gathers her single possession and begins to crawl; the wooden cracked floor hot and hard against her knees. The entire downstairs is filled with thick black smoke, only this time it seems to have a definable source.
Despite her exhaustion, she crawls beneath the thick cloud of swirling black above her, keeping low to the floor where it is still breathable. She manages her way to the kitchen door and reaches for the handle. The doorknob is hot to the touch. Elise turns the handle and finally sees the raging fire that has engulfed the entire kitchen. Red Manor is burning. Her lantern is strewn in pieces about the wood floor, the flame from the lantern feeding the fierce fire.
“Mrs. Alice!” Elise shouts. She waits a few moments and calls out once more. There is no reply.
Content that Mrs. Alice is not in the kitchen, she crawls as quickly as she can, shuffling awkwardly on her knees and elbows, book in hand, to the big arched front door. She reaches for the doorknob to find it locked tightly. She attempts to find any kind of release, but in the blackness of the smoke above her she is unable to do so.
“Ryan!” Elise shouts, hoping for some kind of help, any help. She fumbles her way back toward the spiral stair and takes in a deep breath and begins to ascend the staircase. She runs up two floors before the smoke finally clears and releases her breath—sucking in the frigid air above the raging fire below. Somehow, she is trapped between two extremes.
Elise makes her way further up the stairs, back up to the fourth floor. She rushes to the guestroom hoping to find Ryan waiting for her there, hoping to find more answers. Instead she is greeted with the familiar luminance of the cold blinding light of memory.
“So soon?” Elise whispers.
The light seems to lose some of its brilliance as the footsteps of the presence approach. She catches a glimpse of a form, a human form. She braces herself as everything fades to absolute white.
Evening approached as Elise dressed in her best summer dress. It was a short, comfortable white dress with silky fabric and tiny golden leaves that adorned the bottom and neckline. She slipped on a pair of black shoes with a gold fastener; they were much fancier than her usual work-boots and were a gift from grandmother, along with the golden leaf dress. She pulled her long dark hair back into a ponytail and rubbed a bit of rouge on her soft pink cheeks.
“’Lisey,” Mrs. Alice said as she rapped upon the door.
“I am almost ready, Mrs. Alice,” Elise said loudly as she rushed about and gave herself a once over before opening the door.
“Happy birthday, ’Lisey.” Mrs. Alice beamed as she held out a small blue bag with a gold ribbon tied around it.
Elise opened up the small bag, quickly working her way through the golden knot. She reached in to find a small golden ring with a smaller emerald gemstone set in its leaf design.
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Alice.”
“I felt that it matched your eyes,” Mrs. Alice said as she embraced Elise.
“I love it, I truly do,” Elise said as she placed the ring on her finger and admired it, allowing the light from the electric lamp to catch against the stone and reflect against its facets.
“I am happy,” Mrs. Alice said as she rushed Elise onward. “The guests are ready and there is cake and all manner of good things to eat and drink—of course, you are too young for some of the drinks but I will happily indulge myself tonight on your behalf.”
Elise laughed in reply as she allowed herself to be ushered down the spiral staircase by the unusually energetic Mrs. Alice.
As they reached the large arched doorways to Red Manor, grandmother stood at the door and strained a short smile at Elise as she approached.
“Happy birthday, Elise,” grandmother said rather oddly with an even odder expression. She seemed deeply worried, as though she was afraid that something terrible was on the cusp of happening.
“Thank you, grandmother,” Elise replied, deeply uneasy at grandmother’s demeanor.
Elise was led by Mrs. Alice to the head of a large table where fifty or so guests sat. Elise had never before been the center of attention for so many people. There were a few that she recognized: John Watts, the new handyman—Thomas Morton, the younger man who helps with the livestock; James Oliver, an old fisherman who lives on the island and occasionally sells his catch to Mrs. Alice. However, to her disappointment, Ryan was nowhere in sight. She looked about the table, an extremely nervous feeling coming over her. There were all these smiling faces, all looking at her. Faces she did not recognize—it was unsettling. She was most upset that Ryan was not with her. Over the past two days they had grown even closer and though their daily encounters were brief they were fulfilling to her and had given her all the more reason to look good for this occasion.
“Something the matter ’Lisey?” Mrs. Alice whispered.
“Ryan?” Elise whispered back. “He is not here.”
“I am sure he is around somewhere, or something must be keeping him,” Mrs. Alice reassured. “He wouldn’t miss today.”
“I hope so….”
The evening went on and the company became loud and mostly drunken. She had received kind gifts from strangers: items such as handmade dolls and a necklace made of collected sea shells. She feasted upon roasted chicken and fresh vegetables, followed by red velvet cake topped with whipped chocolate frosting and fifteen lit candles, the flames of which she snuffed out with a single prolonged breath that elicited a large cheer from the audience. The drunken mob sang an out-of-tune-but-very-entertaining version of “Happy Birthday”, and when it came to the part where they sang her name there was some muttering and murmured mistakes which prompted laughter. Elise got up from her seat and wandered about the tall oaks nearby, which were all adorned with tiny electric lights and lanterns that hung down from the lower branches, lighting up the walkway. She passed a few drunken revelers who bowed to her and wished her happy birthday as she continued her search for Ryan.
Elise was deeply confused. She was sure that he would be here. After all, she was beginning to have genuine feelings for him and he gave the appearance of feeling the same way—at least she hoped that what she assumed was true. He was very guarded when it came to his feelings and she hoped that this was not a one-sided infatuation where he did not feel and she felt so much. Could he really care so little that he could not even be bothered to celebrate her birthday? Elise was not one to cry, but she felt on the verge of tears as she continued along the path, her walk turning int
o a run.
“Elise!” an old, strained voice shouted from behind an oak.
Elise turned to find her grandmother seated behind a tree. She had not noticed that she was absent from most of the party.
“Grandmother…,” Elise whispered as she slowly approached the old, tired-looking woman who seemed as if she had been crying.
“Elise…,” grandmother repeated, as she turned to face her granddaughter. “You’re looking for him aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Elise said as she knelt down beside grandmother and looked at her with deep concern. “Are you all right? Do you need help getting back to the house?”
“You should not be concerned for me,” grandmother said as she looked down to her old wrinkled, trembling hands. “It is I that am concerned for you.”
“Concerned for me?”
“Were you telling the truth about Mr. Henry?” grandmother asked.
“Why?”
“There is no shame in answering truthfully,” grandmother said as she placed her arm around Elise, her hands still trembling terribly. “It is of the upmost importance that you tell me—did Mr. Henry come to cause you any harm at all?”
Elise paused for many moments. She had tried her best to push that memory away, hoping to hide it away from herself so long that, just like her father’s face, she would forget it entirely. Finally, she succumbed to grandmother’s request.
“He did…not physically. However, he made me undress,” Elise whispered as she pushed away grandmother’s arm and got back to her feet. “He did cause me harm when you sent me to him.”
“I did not know,” grandmother said as she began to cry. “I am deeply sorry. Had I had any idea that he was a man of such character I would have never sent you to him—I would have never…”
“It is all right,” Elise said as she looked off to the party in the distance.
