So at least I got to put off my inevitable workout for as long as possible.
Each day, I would be working with a slightly different group of my classmates, and there were only a handful of people that shared the same schedule every week.
Fridays had become a free study day, mainly to be used to work on our own individual projects that were to be handed in at midterms. I had yet to decide what my focus would be, but could only worry about one thing at a time.
My personal schedule had been delivered under my door the same morning classes started, and since Steph had already gone in, I walked to the Archive alone, not knowing at all which, if any of my friends, I would get to see on any given day.
I'd only been away from the Archive for the weekend, but it still felt like coming home as I stepped back through the doors of the main entrance. A few people I recognized were milling about the lobby, getting caught up with friends after vacation, but I didn't stop to chat.
I still had plenty of time before our lessons started, but it was the first day of school and a big part of me still wanted to get to class early to secure myself the best possible seat.
All my schedule told me about what to expect that day was that I needed to show up at a small, third-floor Academy classroom for 9 AM.
Only one other person had the same idea I had and was waiting in the empty classroom when I arrived. His brown eyes widened in surprise when he saw me, and I expected mine did the same.
Tommen.
"Hey." My voice came out sounding way too chipper. This was exactly the scenario I'd been dreading all weekend. I'd seen Tommen only once during the weekend, and every time he tried to talk to me I found a reason to escape, to put this conversation off a little longer.
It didn’t look like I was going to be able to get away with that again.
I took the desk beside Tommen, telling myself that it would be rude to do anything else, and that I had planned to sit in the first row anyway. But practical or not, even just looking at him, my insides felt like they'd been turned upside down, spun around a few times, then stepped on repeatedly. We’d barely even said anything to one another yet and I could already feel heat rising in my face.
"So," Tommen said, putting his hands down on the desk in front of him dramatically as he looked me square in the eyes. "You've been avoiding me. And I think I know why."
"Oh, you think so do you?" I said a little sarcastically, hoping it was clear that I was teasing. But it's not like it was a secret why things were odd between us.
"Things after the end-of-year party took an unexpected turn... but not an unwelcome one. That kiss was all I could think about while I was home. I'm sure my family thinks the Archive is turning me into some sort of mindless drone now because I could never focus on what was going on around me. Only on you."
"Oh," was all I could come up with in response. So far, this conversation was going so differently than what I had planned that I wasn’t sure how to get it back on track. Or how to end it completely.
So much for hoping that we could just pretend that kiss had never happened.
I'd never be able to forget about it completely, but there was something to be said for letting it go, quietly into the past. For letting life go on as it had been.
"I’m so sorry I just pounced on you. Can we just forget that it ever happened?" I said at the same time as Tommen asked, "Is there any chance you'd like to go to dinner with me on Friday night?"
I groaned, embarrassed and threw my head down into my arms, covering my face but not able to stop the pained noise coming out of my mouth.
Clearly, I did not know how to be a functional, decent human that early in the morning.
When I finally looked up, it was to see Tommen looking absolutely humiliated and I immediately felt like a huge jerk.
I had only wanted to downplay what happened. I'd never meant to hurt him.
I had even wanted to say yes to his dinner plans. And that I've been thinking about that kiss all week, every time I wandered through the science fiction section. Any time I did anything, really. But that just wasn't an option.
"God," I said, "I didn't mean it like that." I knew I was going to have to confess more than I’d planned to hopefully rein in some of the pain I'd caused one of my closest friends. "Dinner would be great. I mean, if you were asking if I wanted to go with you, as like, a date.” I knew I was rambling. I knew that what I was saying wasn't all that eloquent, and I was doing a terrible job at making an apology.
"But..." Tommen said, egging me onward. He still looked mortified, but his face had regained some of its natural curiosity. He was hopeful, and maybe that was even worse than crushing him out right.
"We can't date. I mean, I can't date." Because I falsified my records to give me a chance at acceptance into the Archive and if anyone ever finds out my secret identity my career will be ruined. My life will be ruined. I'll have betrayed everything I believe in and ruined any chance at the future I’d tried to build for myself. "I just need to focus on school right now. I have a lot of catching up to do after slacking off that first year or so. And I promised myself I would dedicate all my time to studying, so dating just isn't in the picture."
“Well that doesn’t really sound like that much fun,” Tommen said with a grimace. “You aren’t going to date at all for the next two years?" Tommen looked visibly disappointed, but a smile still pushed through.
“I haven’t dated for the last two,” I point out. “Wait, you have?" I asked, genuinely surprised. Tommen had never mentioned anyone, and we had been friends for a while by then.
"Yup. One dinner date with this girl I met at a sushi bar. Second term of first year."
I laughed out loud, grateful no one else had entered the classroom yet. "Wee, you certainly have been busy."
"I know. I get around."
"You're not mad?"
Tommen shook his head, never taking his eyes from mine. "I couldn't be mad. I get it.” Grateful, I exhaled a sigh of relief before smiling. “You should brace yourself,” I joked. “I’m coming for that first place ranking this year.”
Tommen gasped dramatically, raising his hand to his mouth. “Not a chance. You’re probably going to need to double down on your studying if you even want a chance of maintaining that fifth-place spot of yours."
I huffed out my disapproval. "You wish. If I were you, I wouldn't risk wasting my time dating anyone else." I regretted the words as soon as I said them, even though they managed to expand Tommen’s already playful smile. It was unfair to even imply that I didn't want him dating anyone else. I didn't. But I couldn't. "Why are you even wasting time talking to me? You should really get to work."
I stuck out my tongue as Tommen’s voice filled the space around me. "Wow," he said, chuckling, "it looks like someone is coming out swinging this year." His eyebrows shot up in a look of surprise that hinted he was actually impressed.
"You have no idea."
Instead of responding Tommen turned to rifle through the bag that was sitting on the floor at the base of his desk before pulling out a piece of paper. "Let's see your schedule," he demanded, handing me the paper in his hand.
I had mine at the front of my notebook for Monday so I quickly traded it over. But there had been no need. I had my own schedule memorized, and looking down at Tommen’s it was easy to see that the two of us had every single day of classes together.
"Well what do you know," Tommen said. His expression had morphed into a confident smirk. "It looks like you're stuck with me all day, every day. So you can see your own demise up close and personal."
I handed Tommen’s schedule back to him, but my mood had sobered a little. I did want to do well that year. I even wanted to give my studies everything I could. "This is good," I said, trying to ignore just how much I was already enjoying being around Tommen again. "This is going to be a lot of fun."
Just fun. Nothing more.
Tommen would be a good reminder of what it was I wanted to achieve. And i
f we could keep this little rivalry going, it would push me to even greater heights. If it didn't burn me out first.
Just then, the door clicked open, cutting off our conversation as Tommen and I both looked up to see who had interrupted us. I slumped a little, seeing Vince walk into the room, rolling his eyes as he saw us before he took a seat at the back of the room. A moment later, two more of our classmates entered through the front door.
It was about time for our class to get started. And time to get back to work.
Tommen lifted up his bag to put it on the chair beside his. “For Jericho,” he explained.
"Jericho is here on Mondays too?" I asked. “Lucky you.”
"Yes, I'm afraid you're going to have to share me. But only on Mondays."
"Just promise me one thing," I whispered, lowering my voice so only Tommen could hear me. "If we ever have to do partner work... don't leave me alone with Vince."
By Thursday, I still wasn't getting sick of seeing Tommen every day.
We made it to the end of week with a massive amount of assignments and reading to do, but wrapped up almost every day with plans to tackle the work we had, together.
His presence was going a long way toward making third year far less overwhelming than it might've been otherwise, and I was already grateful to whoever had decided to put us both on the same schedule permanently.
I was less grateful to whoever had thought it was a good idea to give a bunch of out of shape librarians an entire day dedicated to studying to be one of the Protectorate.
Maybe eventually we would have classes on theory or law, but for week one it looked like the only thing any of our teachers had thought to plan was an extensive run around the entire city, never moving any slower than a jog unless we were stopping at one of only four break spots on our morning route.
Gennie was in the same class as Tommen and I for Thursdays, and was running right alongside me, her thick brown hair pulled up into a ponytail. A bead of sweat dripped down the side of her face from her hairline, and she was starting to look a little paler than usual. I probably didn’t look much better.
"I hate this," Gennie said, for the third time. "I hate everything about this. Sanctum has a police force. I don't see why they need the Protectorate to enforce any mundane crap here in the city."
"Well, it is the capital," I said between breaths. "There's a lot of stuff that goes on here that could affect the entire realm. I’m guessing there’s a lot of shady business we have no idea about. So if the Protectorate are looking into that, it's not like they're going to see someone else breaking the law and just ignore it. Or maybe they do. I don't even know."
Even after two years, I've never heard any of the Protectorate talk at length about what it was they did with their time. Or what it was they were always training for. All I really knew was that there were groups who opposed the librarians as a whole, people who thought that the way they ran the Archive affected the After, and not for the better.
While I still couldn't see myself becoming one of the Protectorate, even if my medical training might have some benefit to them, I could understand the need for their order. Maybe not all the time, but when the time came, it was better to have a force you knew that was on your side than to have to react in the moment and hope for the best.
I looked behind me to see Tommen, still lagging at the back of the group. It didn't look like he was having a harder time of this than anyone else, and for the most part he was maintaining the same pace. But ever since our run had started, anytime I looked at him, he’d never been looking straight ahead. Instead, he was always distracted by something going on around him in the city.
It was probably something I should have been doing more of. I'd uploaded a map of the layout of Sanctum into my internal memory storage units that same morning, having heard from Steph about what the Protectorate had in store for the apprentices on their first day of third year. But there was a difference between knowing that I was currently on Apricot Avenue and seeing it for myself.
I had thought I'd explored a decent amount of the city in my time living in Sanctum, but there were still entire neighborhoods I'd never even set foot inside. Along with a few that I knew I would probably never want to visit.
Which were probably exactly the kinds of places that protect the Protectorate made a point of visiting on a regular basis.
Since Gennie looked too exhausted to continue talking anyway, I let my attention stray to take in the shop fronts around me. The part of Sanctum we were currently in seemed to have mainly been influenced by fantasy stories. We passed a blacksmith, with a large suite of armor standing in the window. Next to it was an emporium of magical creatures, an industry that was highly regulated. A sign on the front door advertised half priced getrutkin larva.
The studio next door to that was dedicated to sword fighting, though there was also a picture of a beautiful Elven woman holding a bow and arrow in the front window.
I was only beginning to understand that I could live in Sanctum for the rest of my life and only ever uncover a fraction of the secrets that the city held.
As a group, we rounded a corner and I let myself slow a little to fish my water bottle out of its holder at my waist and rehydrate, falling closer in step to Tommen at the same time. We’d spent almost all our time together over the last few days, but no matter how hard I tried to fight it, he still worked his way into my thoughts for most of the time we were apart as well.
He still wasn't paying any attention to me or to anyone else in our group and instead his gaze was fixed on a group of young goblins playing across the street, though he still somehow managed to deftly run around a garbage bin instead of colliding straight into it, which is probably what I would've done.
Tommen wore black basketball shorts and a white T-shirt, which was far less clothing than I usually saw him in. While he was still undeniably scrawny, as I picked up my own pace I had to acknowledge that the muscles in his arms appeared stronger than I would've given him credit for. He wasn't much of a fighter, and there was no chance he'd end up in the Protectorate, but as he ran through the city streets of Sanctum... he, well, he looked good.
I shook my head to try and dispel that stray thought. I couldn't think things like that. Not now, not ever. I needed to focus, and more importantly, I needed to keep a distance between the part of myself that wanted to whisper all my secrets to Tommen, and the reality I was living.
It felt like ages before we stopped for lunch—an hour long break at a park near the center of the district we'd been exploring. Our group spread out along the grass as the Protectorate started conjuring our lunches, and thankfully even more water since my personal bottle had long since run dry.
Gennie was one of the first in line for food, and graciously offered to grab me my share as well. From my spot on the lawn I nodded, only letting out a thankful groan instead of forming actual words.
"It's beautiful out here today," Tommen said, sitting down beside me and not sounding at all winded. Something I hated him for, just a little.
But he was right. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, though a few seagulls flew overhead from the direction of the docks. I'd only felt the slightest chill when we first set out from the Archive, and being almost constantly in motion quickly warmed me right up.
"If you say so," I said, only willing to acknowledge so much beauty in the world while my lungs still burned. I closed my eyes again, trying to will my body to heal.
An uncomfortable silence settled between Tommen and I. Mildly paranoid, I opened one eye to see him staring straight at me. Grudgingly, I opened the other and sat up.
"I've been thinking," Tommen said without waiting for me to ask him what was on his mind.
"Okay..."
"I think you're going about this all the wrong way. Your apprenticeship, I mean. Studying and trying to get to the top of the class. I have some ideas I think you should consider."
"I'm not sure I can exactly trust any advice coming from the compe
tition," I pointed out with a wink. "You clearly have an ulterior motive."
"Sure." Tommen shrugged. "But it's not what you think. Because I'm not sure I think we need to be in competition at all. You're one of the smartest people I know, no matter what the ranking says. And there isn't a single day where I wouldn't rather have you on my team then be butting up against one another. Why not really work together this year? As a team. We could be damn well unstoppable."
I stared at him for a second, a little dumbfounded.
"And also, I still think you should agree to have dinner with me tomorrow. You and I are obviously going to be spending a lot of time together this year anyway, and whether or not I'm spending time kissing you, my mind is still distracted, thinking about the possibility. So I don't know about you, but being able to just lean over and kiss you anytime I want would probably do wonders for my grades."
Embarrassed but secretly thrilled, I narrowed my eyes into a wary expression, not entirely sure whether he was teasing or not. "Let me get this straight. You're basically choosing to ignore everything I said the other day. No competing for grades, and spending even more time together, not studying when maybe we should be."
"I'm only going to ignore what you said on Monday if you agree to this. If this really is what you want, or, if you were just being nice when you said you wanted to say yes, just tell me now and I'll never bring it up again. But I do still think we can help one another dominate the top of the rankings by working together this year. Or at least for this semester."
"And what if the dating thing turns out to be an absolute disaster and we end up hating each other by next week?" I asked, trying to buy myself more time than anything else.
Because I loved everything he was saying. And I never really thought, he and I would be in competition with one another. Sure, maybe I wanted to come out at the top of the rankings, but only because I wanted to see if I was capable of it, not because I wanted to see him defeated.
Apprentice (Into the After Book 1) Page 11
