by Doyle, S
She felt him stiffen for a moment, but then he relaxed and the way he was looking at her as he brushed her hair out of her face… it was if he loved her. Really loved her. She wanted to punch him again to make that face go away.
“You just left me,” she said, and she knew she was pouting, which annoyed her even more. But pouting was better than crying.
“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t think I had a choice. I meant every word I said. I fell in love with you and I was selfish enough to want you to know it. My heart was breaking as much as yours. You have to believe that. I didn’t think I could have you. It was only when I was back here that I started to realize I had made a mistake. That I couldn’t not have you. You showing up here merely expedited our reunion. Eventually I would have come for you.”
“I didn’t come here for a reunion. I came here to end you.”
Declan smiled. “Yes, my lovely, I felt very ended when you were blowing me downstairs. And ended again when you spread your legs and let me eat your pussy just a little while ago. Then you ended me even more when you were on all fours…”
“Okay, I get it,” she huffed. “Apparently, I’m addicted to your dick.”
“No, love. You love me, so you can’t help yourself. I think I’m ready to hear you say that now. My name was important, and the first time you said it was delicious. Now I want more.”
Sinead shut her mouth and shook her head in the fine tradition of five-year-olds everywhere.
“You’re going to tell me eventually,” Declan said smugly.
“You have no idea how stubborn I can be.”
“Mmm… we’ll see. In the meantime, Mary will have a nice dinner prepared and we should keep our strength up if we’re going to be fucking all night. Besides that, I’m excited for you two to know each other.”
Declan rolled out of bed and Sinead didn’t mind watching his naked ass, which she also thought was delectable, as he made his way to the bathroom.
“You know,” she said to the empty room, although she was sure he could hear her. “If you’re this big bad baddy, I’m surprised you actually let Garrett live. From what Mary told me of her injuries, he really wailed on her.”
When he came back out dressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt, there was a look on his face that she’d never seen. All the ease and charm of him was gone. In their place was an expression of cold hard ice. Yes, this man, she thought was entirely dangerous. Strangely, she wasn’t afraid of him.
“Mary asked me not to kill him. She thought my soul would suffer for it. It would not have.”
Big bad baddy, she’d called him. Made it almost seem funny, but it wasn’t. Lucifer. Beautiful like an angel, but deadly too. Sinead wondered if that was something she could handle.
“You really are dangerous when you want to be, aren’t you?”
“Yes. I said as much before. You can’t say I didn’t warn you. I want to give you only the light, but you need to know the dark is there too.”
She slid out of the bed and walked to him.
“Can you live with that?” he asked her. “I know your father’s actions hurt you.”
Sinead thought about that. It had hurt her. She’d always wanted her dad to be a good guy. Wanted to be able to look up to him. Maybe she had punished him too much for not being what she wanted him to be. Maybe if she hadn’t judged him so harshly, their relationship wouldn’t have broken down as badly as it did.
All she knew was that when she needed him, really needed him, he was there for her without question.
“It depends. Are you a good guy or a bad guy?”
He cupped her cheeks in his hands and looked into her eyes. “The jobs I take, the governments I serve, I believe have a just cause. I think the things I do make the world a safer place. But the actions I take to accomplish that… Well, there is no easy black and white in that world.”
Sinead nodded. If she was going to accept him, and that was still a big IF in her mind (although it probably really wasn’t), she had to accept everything about him. The light and dark, he said.
“Okay. One more really important question.”
“Anything.”
“Are you still really, really rich?”
Declan tipped his head back and laughed loudly. Then he hugged her close to him. “Yes, my love. I’m still filthy rich.”
“Good. That means you can stop the dangerous stuff whenever you want, right? I mean, you don’t need to do it to live. You just do it because you can?”
He pulled back and looked at her face. “Yes. I can stop the dangerous stuff whenever I want. In fact if I knocked you up earlier this afternoon, I might consider it sooner rather than later. Although you should know, I’m very good at what I do.”
“I don’t know, technically you got caught by me. I could have shot you.”
“Yes, but you were enthralled with me. You were very easy to charm.”
“I’m going to hit you again.”
He actually squealed like a girl then, and it made her laugh. Something she never thought she would do with him ever again. Which was why she immediately felt tears rush to her eyes.
As if sensing her rolling emotions, Declan stepped back to give her space. He kissed her on the forehead gently.
“Get dressed and I’ll see you downstairs.”’
She nodded and made her way around him to the bathroom.
“Sinead?”
She turned back to him.
“I did underestimate you. I won’t again.”
“Bet on it.”
He flashed her a brief smile and then he left. She was happy for the down time. She took a long, hot shower in a ridiculously large space with multiple shower heads slamming water down on her from all angles. Because rich people needed to be cleaner than most, she supposed. The hot water helped to center her. Let her think for a second without thinking necessarily about him.
When she came out of the bathroom, the overnight bag she had in her car was sitting just inside the door. She changed into jeans and a shirt, but she put her cool red pumps back on. They made her feel just a little badass.
Then she thought about the phone call she needed to make but really didn’t want to. Inside the bag was her cell, and she pulled it out and made the call. He picked up on the first ring.
“You find him?” her father asked without a hello first.
“I did.”
“You kick him in the balls?”
She’d done a heck of a lot with his balls, but nothing that she was going to share with her father. “I clocked him pretty good.”
“Good. You coming home?”
She paused, and it must have been long enough for her father to put two and two together.
“That motherfucker. That cocksucking motherfucker. He got to you again, didn’t he?”
Yep.
To her father she simply said, “It’s complicated. Look, Dad. I need some space, okay? I mean, I’ve never been on the east coast. I thought I might check it out. You okay with that?”
“Where are you?”
Sinead hesitated. She couldn’t imagine telling her father where she was would actually put anyone in jeopardy. Then again, Declan didn’t strike her as the type to take any chances. “Let’s just leave it with the east coast.”
“Can I stop you from doing this?” he asked. His voice was gruffer than normal and she didn’t think it was because he had a cold.
Sinead figured he meant staying with Declan. “Nope.”
“What did I always tell you? You got to watch your heart. When O’Haras fall…”
“They fall hard.” Sinead thought truer words had never been spoken. “I got it.”
“Maybe… just… check in. Once in a while. Maybe. When you get the chance.”
Her dad wanted her to check in with him. Funny. She was three thousand miles on the other side of the country and she hadn’t felt this close to him in years. “Yeah, Dad. I’ll check in.”
“Watch your heart and your back with this m
otherfucker.”
Then he disconnected the call.
“I love you too,” she whispered. It felt good to let herself do that again. Like she was shaking off this veneer of safety she’d worn around herself for so many years. Do the right thing, stay away from trouble, walk the straight path.
Things you do to make you think you have control over life. Sinead learned the lesson early, after her mom died, that there was no control of anything. She could see now that her reaction to that was to tuck herself into a nice safe boring box.
Until Dav—no, Declan had come along and opened the box and let her out.
There was simply no denying it. She was more alive when she was with him. More the person she imagined she should be, and not the person who had been leading such a dry and colorless life.
The tricky part was knowing what that meant going forward.
Shit, he had actually talked about babies. BABIES.
Sinead didn’t think it was likely. She’d just finished her period a few days ago, but still that was some serious stuff. Did she even want to get married or have kids? Did she want to do those things with a lying con man who was secretly some badass contract… hell, she didn’t know what?
What she did know was that she wanted Declan.
Which meant it was a probably a good idea to go find him.
* * *
“Are you sure leaving her alone was a good idea?” Mary asked him as he reached around her for the bottle opener.
“I couldn’t fuck her forever. We had to come up for air at some point.”
“Declan!” Mary scolded as she ripped part of a head of lettuce and put it in a bowl. “Really. Things a sister doesn’t need to hear.”
Declan smiled. Shocking Mary was almost as fun as shocking Sinead. Almost.
“I just meant alone, she’s going to have time to think. She’ll remember what you did to her and it will make her angry all over again.”
Declan leaned against the center island table, where Mary was standing putting together a salad for their dinner.
“Are you comparing what Garrett did to you, to what I did to Sinead?”
Her head jerked up. “No. I know you. You would never harm someone… like that, I mean. But you did lie to her. You did convince her you were one person, when you were another person entirely. It makes a person question their judgment is all.”
Mary had worked hard to lose her Irish brogue when he brought her to the US for school. But there were times he could hear the Irish in her voice, and it was a reminder of where they had come from. What he’d built for her out of nothing. All to protect her innocence.
“I failed you.”
“Declan, don’t…”
“I did,” he snapped. “I thought I had taken care of everything. Made sure you had all the money and clothes and things you needed. A private high school. A college education. A chance at a productive life. A childhood I couldn’t give you, but your adulthood—I wanted that to be filled with happiness. Except I let you down, and now you’ll always have this… scar.”
Mary straightened her shoulders and stiffened her back. “You have to let me accept what my actions caused. It’s not fair for you take that on. That’s mine, and I need to own it. All I’m saying is don’t think a hard fuck and a charming smile are going to fix the fact that you spent weeks lying to her.”
“You go, Mary.”
Declan turned around to see Sinead standing in the entrance of the kitchen. She looked fresh and new. So damn pretty every time he was around her he wanted to whimper, like a satisfied dog whose master had chosen to pet him.
She shifted on her sexy shoes and shoved her hands in her back pockets. “What’s for dinner?”
“Lasagna and salad,” Mary said.
Declan held up the bottle of wine he realized he hadn’t opened. “A glass of red?”
“Sure.”
He poured a glass and walked it over to her. Then he put a finger under her chin and lifted her face to him. “I know I’ve work ahead to make things right with you. I know I do. All I’m asking for is the chance to do that work.”
“My dad called you a cocksucking motherfucker.”
Declan winced. Probably going to be a little awkward around the holidays with family. “I can assure you I’ve never sucked a cock nor fucked anyone’s mother.”
“What happens now?” she asked him as she took the glass of wine.
“We eat.”
“No, I mean with us. All this work you plan on doing. I mean after this whole shindig is over and everyone is safe, what are your plans to win me back?”
Declan hadn’t really considered that. Currently he was between assignments, but he imagined that would change. If he was going to leave Sinead for periods of time, he imagined she would prefer being closer to her family. Because despite their tenuous relationship, Declan now had proof her father obviously cared for her. His hatred of Declan being said proof.
“Logistically, I can live anywhere if you have your heart set on staying in San Francisco. I do need to spend some time in London being David Whitmore…”
“You mean that’s your actual name in London?”
Declan smiled at her surprise. She would hopefully come to understand that much of what he’d told her about his life was true.
“Oh yes. David is a carefully constructed character with an appropriate background. A circle of disgusting rich friends who bore the crap out of me, which you know about. It allows me cover and allows me to control my financial empire while still being able to take on certain tasks I choose.”
Sinead considered him. “You’re like Batman without the costume.”
Declan shrugged. “Batman. Yes, I suppose. Although no gadgets either. Well, not as many.”
Mary rolled her eyes as she pulled the lasagna out of the oven. “Sinead, something to know about my brother. His head can get as big as his ass. Best to make sure that while it might be fine to call him a superhero from time to time, you’ll also want to be popping that balloon any chance you get.”
Sinead smiled as she sipped her wine. “Mary, I think you and I are going to be great friends.”
Declan looked at the two women in his life he loved beyond reason.
Them. Teaming up against him. Suddenly he was very worried.
Chapter 16
The three of them were just finishing up dinner when the doorbell rang. As Declan knew nobody without approved security got through the gate, it was a pretty good guess who was at the door.
“I’ll get it,” he told them both. “Relax and enjoy your wine.”
He made his way through the house to the front door, which had already been opened by one of his security men inside.
Jillian was brushing off beads of raindrops from her coat, which made Declan realize how little he’d been paying attention to his surroundings. Apparently it was pouring outside.
“Did you do it?” he asked her.
“Hello to you to, friend. What a lovely welcome.”
“Cut the act Jill. If the task was successfully done, then I know you’re only here to satisfy your curiosity, and it’s not the best time. I’ve barely just gotten her to forgive me, I don’t need my ex stirring up trouble.”
“This is your ex?” Sinead folded her arms across her chest. Apparently, she too was curious about the visitor and followed him out of the kitchen. Swell. “I thought she was like a drug addict or something.”
Jillian punched him in the shoulder hard enough to make it hurt.
“You told her I was a drug addict?”
“No, only that you’re addicted. Which you are. Your drug just happens to be danger, but it’s still as deadly.”
Jillian patted his wounded shoulder. “Poor Dec. I told you. You can’t save everyone.”
She turned her attention to Sinead.
“The temp at the Tricorp office.” Sinead looked like she swallowed something disgusting. Yes, Declan thought, exactly what he didn’t need right now.
; Jillian shrugged as if to say guilty as charged. “For the record,” she offered, “I told him the letter was a really bad idea.”
“Yeah, I’m probably not going to like you,” Sinead said. “Beautiful ex-girlfriend and all that. Just keeping it real.”
Jillian laughed. “Oh but I am going to love you. Mr. BrokenHearted here has been moping around for weeks. Now, I can see he’s already back to himself. Which is good because what you suspected was going to happen is in fact happening. Flynn is already in flight on his way back.”
“What’s happening?” Mary asked as she too had come to see who the visitor was. “Hi, Jillian.”
“Hi, Mary,” she said tightly.
“Jillian, why do you sound like that?” Mary asked.
She was no fool, Declan knew. She’d been around all of them too long not to be able to tell when the situation was dire.
He sighed and decided there was no hiding it. “Garrett, and most likely his father as well, are on the way here.”
Mary gasped, then turned to Sinead, clearly hurt by the betrayal. “How could you?”
Sinead blinked and shook her head. “No, no, no. I didn’t do this. I didn’t tell him where you were. I swear it.”
Mary closed her eyes. “You were so angry at Dec. I could feel it. I could even possibly understand it. I know what that kind of betrayal feels like.”
Sinead shook her head and looked at Declan. “No. I promise you I didn’t tell him where I was. Where you were. I lost the only tail I had back in San Francisco. I didn’t even tell my dad where I was.”
“Mary, Sinead wasn’t responsible,” Declan said calmly.
“How can you know that for sure?” she said, clearly upset. “You don’t know what it’s like to be deceived. I do. I know how angry it makes you feel. I know it because I was that angry. That’s how this all started, remember? By being so angry I told them who you were and what you were going to do to them.”
Declan walked over to his sister and gripped her shoulders firmly until she took a breath and looked at him.
