by Marin Thomas
“Ponder life.” Brody had dissected his life all the way back to grade school and had yet to come up with an explanation as to why he’d fallen into the habit of putting himself first before those he loved.
“You ever go to the movies?”
“No.” The last movie theater Brody had sat in was five years ago when he’d taken Angel to see a Disney cartoon. Brody expected the kid to fire off another question but Ricky clammed up, his gaze dropping to the Formica tabletop. “Something on your mind?” Brody asked.
“My dad.”
“What about him?”
“Mom kicked him out today.” Ricky expelled a deep breath. “I think she gets mad that Dad and I have fun together.”
“So you enjoy hanging out with your dad?”
“Yeah.” Pause. “Sometimes.”
Brody hated to see the teenager hurting. Dwayne had a great kid but chose to ignore Ricky most of the time. Brody flinched at the criticism. He was no winner in the father department, either. “Have you asked your dad why he doesn’t show up more often?”
“No.”
“How come?”
Ricky picked at his nails. “I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
“If I bug him he won’t want to see me again.”
Ricky was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. No kid should have to feel like an obligation or inconvenience. Brody would always be grateful that Angel had been too young to realize he’d put his needs ahead of hers. He’d loved his daughter, but he’d allowed his work to take precedence over family, justifying his choices to ease his conscience.
He remembered bargaining with God on the way to the hospital. If He would save Angel, then Brody would take the job at the meat processing plant and give up his cowboy ways. But God hadn’t listened. Brody had gambled and lost everything—his daughter, his marriage and his position at the Black Stone Ranch.
“I heard Dad tell Mom she shouldn’t be stingy with her money ‘cause she’s lucky she’s got a good job.”
“Luck has nothing to do with your mom’s job. She’s worked hard to become a respected farrier. I bet when things get tough, your mother doesn’t give up. I’m not saying you two haven’t had struggles, but it’s because of your mother’s determination that she’s been able to take good care of you.”
“After my great-grandpa died, it was hard, ‘cause we didn’t have anyone to help us.”
There was a part of Brody that yearned to make up for the past and be the man Kat and Ricky turned to in difficult times. But mother and son deserved better than him. “So you want to learn how to play poker?”
Ricky’s eyes lit up. “Sure.” He rummaged through the drawer next to the sink and found a deck of cards. Time passed in a blur until a knock sounded on the door. Brody eyed the clock—ten-thirty. “Sorry, kid. Looks like you missed your curfew.” Brody braced himself when he opened the door. Kat stood on the steps, her hesitant smile drawing his attention to her mouth. Would he ever be able to look at Kat and not remember their kiss?
“We’re not finished with our card game,” Ricky grumbled.
“Doctor Helman’s coming tomorrow to check on you. She’ll know if you’re not getting enough rest.”
“But I’m going to go to the rodeo with Brody?” Ricky’s gaze pleaded. “Right, Brody?”
Put on the spot, Brody wasn’t sure how to respond. Kat rescued him. “Dr. Helman has to give you a clean bill of health before Stevie can visit.”
“But—”
“We had to cancel Stevie’s lesson because you hit your head. You don’t want to make your friend wait another whole week, do you?”
“Yeah, okay.” Ricky put the cards back in the drawer. “Thanks for teaching me how to play poker, Brody.”
The minute the boy was out of earshot, Brody asked, “Has Wes spotted any trouble on the other side of the ranch lately?”
“No. Everything’s fine.”
“Those guys aren’t finished with the Wild Rose, so keep your guard up tomorrow while I’m gone.” Brody was certain Clyde and Roger were lying low, waiting for the right opportunity to strike again.
“When will you be back?” Kat asked.
“Late. Don’t count on me for supper.”
“Oh, here.” She pulled a wad of bills from her jean pocket. “Payday. I thought you’d want cash since you wouldn’t have time to stop at a bank before heading out of town.”
“Thanks.” Damn. His gaze kept straying to her lips.
“Well, good luck tomorrow.”
He didn’t want her to leave. “You shouldn’t have caved in and paid Ricky’s father to go away.”
“I know, but I have bigger worries than Dwayne right now.”
God help him, he wanted to kiss her.
“Bring home the buckle, cowboy.”
Brody watched Kat return to the cabin, wishing with all his heart that somewhere along his travels he’d stumble upon redemption. Peace. Forgiveness.
Maybe in his next lifetime.
Chapter Seven
Kat patted Tiger’s rump and led him from the barn to the paddock. “There you go, boy.” She shut the gate and waited. The gelding didn’t budge. “Move, Tiger.” Frustrated the horse refused to put weight on his healing hoof, she fetched Clementine from her stall and put the mare in the corral with Tiger.
Clementine was a feisty horse and Kat hoped she’d coax Tiger into playing with her. The mare didn’t let her down. Clementine charged Tiger, turning at the last second, her tail swatting his face. Tiger bolted and the two horses ran the length of the enclosure. Problem solved, Kat returned to the cabin.
She was miffed that Brody had left for San Marcos before she’d crawled out of bed this morning. She shouldn’t care that he hadn’t bothered to say goodbye, but she did. Never mind that they’d shared a kiss and traded personal information about their families, Kat had come to respect Brody for his strong work ethic and his kindness toward Ricky. She’d thought they were becoming friends.
Maybe it was just as well he hadn’t waited to say goodbye. Friendship was fine, but that’s where Kat drew the line with Brody. She’d fought long and hard to become self-sufficient, and roaming cowboys were nothing but heartaches in the making. The next guy she became involved with would have roots sprouting from the bottom of his boots.
Determined to forget Brody, Kat entered the cabin, expecting to find Ricky at the kitchen table doing homework. The room was empty. He’d probably stayed in bed this morning, still angry about their heated argument last night. Kat was ashamed she’d lost her cool with Ricky, but wished her son would take off his blinders and see his father for who he really was—a man who only cared about himself.
“Why did you kick Dad out?” Ricky had shouted.
“Because.”
“Why don’t you want me to have a dad?”
“Dwayne doesn’t act like a father.”
“Yes, he does!”
“Then how come he rarely visits you? How come he doesn’t call you every few days? How come he doesn’t take you places?” Her questions had brought tears to Ricky’s eyes.
“’Dad can’t be here all the time ‘cause he’s busy.”
“Doing what? He doesn’t have a job, Ricky. He’s never paid a penny of child support since you were born.”
“So. You take care of me. We don’t need his money.”
That her son had defended Dwayne so fiercely had hurt Kat. Couldn’t Ricky at least have acknowledged her efforts to provide for him and all the sacrifices she’d made through the years?
“It hasn’t been easy keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table since Grandpa died.”
“You’re just jealous ‘cause Dad doesn’t love you.”
“Your father never loved me—not even in the beginning when we dated.”
“Then how come you had me?”
“Because I was young and stupid and I believed…” The rest of Kat’s words had trailed off when Ricky’s stunned look registered in
her brain. Silence loud enough to shatter her eardrums had filled the cabin for all of three seconds before Ricky fled to his bedroom and slammed the door.
“Ricky? Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.” She’d stood in the hallway for a half hour begging his forgiveness. Ricky had refused to open the door. Kat had spent the night in her bed tossing, turning, crying and cursing.
Enough sulking. “Rise ‘n’ shine, Ricky!” she hollered down the hallway. No answer. “Hey, you awake?” She thumped her knuckles against the bedroom door. “I’m coming in.”
The room was empty. The bed neatly made.
Kat’s stomach plummeted. Not again, Ricky. Praying he hadn’t run off, Kat went outside and rang the supper bell. No Ricky. She checked the equipment barn and storage sheds. The Bakers’ ATVs were parked in their original spots as was Ricky’s dirt bike. If he left the ranch, he’d left on foot.
“Don’t do this to me, Ricky. Not today.” Had he run off in search of Dwayne or had he decided to pay Stevie a visit? Before she drove to the Hunter’s, Kat returned to Ricky’s bedroom in hopes of finding a clue as to his whereabouts.
She tore apart the bed. Nothing. She peeked beneath the mattress. Oh, dear—girlie magazine. When had her son become enthralled by the female body? Better yet, what kind of mother didn’t notice her son was growing up right under her nose?
A moment later Kat’s cell phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Kat, this is Sue Montgomery. Guess who I found walking along the side of the road?”
“My son, I hope.” Kat sank onto the bed and willed her heart to stop pounding.
“Ricky says he’s heading to San Marcos to watch a bull rider compete today.”
Her son had gone after Brody not Dwayne. Kat left the bedroom, grabbing the truck keys on her way out of the cabin. “Where are you?”
“Almost to the Wild Rose.”
“I’ll be right there.” Five minutes later Kat stopped at the entrance to the ranch. Ricky stood outside Sue’s car, leaning against the passenger door—hands shoved into his jean pockets. Face scowling.
Relieved her son appeared fine, but angry that he’d scared ten years off her life, Kat slammed the door harder than she’d meant to. She sent Ricky a sober look. “Get in the truck.” Kat stuck her head through the passenger-side window of Sue’s car. “Thanks for bringing him home. I owe you one.”
“Everything okay between you two?”
“Yes. No.” Kat closed her eyes. “We got into an argument about Ricky’s father last night.”
“Say no more.” Sue’s understanding was both a relief and an embarrassment. Kat had been shoeing horses in the area long enough for most folks to have met or heard about Ricky’s deadbeat dad.
“Thanks again, Sue.”
“Anytime.” Sue tooted the horn then drove off.
As much as Kat wanted to hug Ricky and apologize for their argument yesterday, she resisted as she slid into the driver’s seat. “What part of our never-hitchhike-again discussion didn’t you understand?”
No response. “If I take you back to the cabin you’ll just up and leave again when my guard’s down.” Ricky remained mute. Kat sighed, feeling like a cornered animal with only one way out—straight into the trap. She shifted into Reverse and drove back to the cabin. “Wait here.”
“Why?”
Guilt prompted her spur-of-the-moment decision. “I’ve got to fetch my purse. We’re going to the rodeo.”
Ricky’s sullen expression evaporated. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Inside the cabin Kat called Wes and Dr. Helman’s office to inform them that she and Ricky would be gone for the day. San Marcos was an hour and a half from Bandera. Once Brody finished his ride she and Ricky would hurry back to the Wild Rose.
Kat and Ricky arrived at the San Marcos rodeo grounds at noon. The event was small compared to most competitions and parking was free. Kat paid her and Ricky’s admission fee then they weaved through the milling spectators.
“Look, Mom. There’s Brody.” Ricky took off before Kat could stop him, leaving her no choice but to follow.
She lost sight of Ricky after he dashed behind the grandstands, but managed to find her way to the stock pens where Ricky stood among a group of jawing cowboys.
One of the men caught sight of her and spoke to the others. The group moved on, leaving Ricky and Brody behind. Brody tipped his hat. “This is a surprise.”
“We came to watch your ride then we have to get back to the ranch,” Kat said. With Clyde and Roger on the loose, she was nervous about being away from the Wild Rose too long.
“Brody, can I stay with you when Mom leaves?” Ricky’s eyes pleaded.
What if Brody had plans to meet a girlfriend later? Or maybe he hoped to get lucky with a buckle bunny. Imagining Brody with another woman made Kat’s stomach cramp. Knock it off. One kiss doesn’t give you any claim to the man. Or so she told herself.
“Brody might have other plans,” Kat said.
“I don’t. Ricky can hang out with me today,” Brody said.
“Are you sure? You might want to catch up with friends later.”
“Quit trying to talk Brody out of letting me stay, Mom.” Ricky glared at Kat. “I know you don’t like Dad, but I thought you liked Brody.”
“I do like Brody.” Heat suffused Kat’s cheeks. “But—”
“Ricky, things aren’t always what they seem,” Brody said.
Kat appreciated Brody’s efforts to defend her but Dwayne’s rejection had hurt Ricky deeply and he needed someone to blame. Kat had done her best to protect her son’s innocence and keep his hope alive that one day his father would make him a priority in his life. Had the time arrived to be honest with her son? Was Ricky old enough to handle the truth?
“Honey, your father stayed as long as he did this time because I refused to pay him to leave,” Kat said.
“I don’t get it.”
“Your father loves you—” in his own pathetic way “—but he only visits us if he’s low on cash.”
“How much did you give Dad?”
“Two hundred dollars.”
“Dad said you were stingy with your money but two hundred dollars is a lot.”
“Yes, it is.”
“What does Dad do with the money?”
Drink. Pay for sex. “I don’t know.”
“How come Dad doesn’t get a job?”
Tell him the truth. “Your father would rather live off of others than hold down a steady job.”
“Is that why he says I can’t live with him—’cause he doesn’t have a steady job?”
A lump formed in Kat’s throat. One day she hoped her son would realize how much she loved him and that he was better off with her. “That’s one reason. He also doesn’t have his own place to live.”
“Can’t he get a stupid trailer like we have?”
Ouch. Ricky made their home sound cheap. Kat had done her best to make the trailer cozy, but obviously her son was old enough to see it for what it was—a trashy metal box on wheels.
Ricky stabbed the toe of his boot against the ground. “So because Dad’s lazy and doesn’t want to work I’m stuck living with you?”
“Ricky…” Brody scowled.
“You live with me because you’re my son. I love you and I want what’s best for you.”
“What if what’s best for me is not living with you?”
Kat clenched her hands until her nails bit into her palms. The pain was nothing compared to the excruciating agony clawing at her heart. “As soon as you turn eighteen and graduate from high school you’re free to go off on your own.”
Ricky faced Brody. “If you had a kid you’d get a job so you could take care of him, wouldn’t you?”
The blood drained from Brody’s face and his eyes glazed over.
Worried, Kat said, “Don’t drag Brody into this, Ricky.” When Brody continued to stare into space, Kat dug a five-dollar bill from her pocket. “Get us each a ho
t dog and find a place to sit. I’ll meet you there in a minute.” Ricky took off toward the concession stands.
“I’m sorry you were put in an awkward position.” Kat hoped an apology was enough. Obviously Ricky had touched a nerve in Brody.
“He’s a good kid.” Brody’s voice sounded rusty.
“I know. I just wish he had a decent male role model.”
“I’m not qualified to be a role model, Kat.” Brody refused to make eye contact.
“No one’s asking you to. Ricky and I have been on our own for a while now.” If truth be told, Kat wanted more from life than a secure job and a decent home for her and Ricky. She wanted a real family. Ricky needed a father. She needed a husband—a man to share her problems with. To support her dreams. To hold her at night while she slept.
A tiny part of Kat wished Brody wasn’t on the run. His heated looks made her pulse race. Her body temperature spike. Her skin tingle. Yes, she was attracted to Brody. He was sexy, good-looking, hardworking and downright nice. But anything more than friendship between them spelled trouble for her heart.
“I’d better go,” Brody said. “Bull poker’s about to start.” He walked off without a backward glance.
Bull poker? Kat made her way to the stands and located Ricky near the top of the bleachers. “Thanks,” she said when he handed her a hot dog.
“Ladies and gents, it’s time for our bull-poker event!”
The crowd stomped on the bleachers creating an impressive din.
“I thought Brody was riding a bull,” Ricky said.
“Guess he’s doing this instead.” Maybe he had a better chance of earning prize money in bull poker. “There he is.” Kat pointed to where Brody waited with three other cowboys for a turn to sit at the plastic card table and chairs in the middle of the arena.
“Folks, we’ve got four certifiably insane cowboys signed up for this event. The winner collects five-hundred bucks!”
Brody adjusted his protective vest and decided the announcer was right—he was insane. He’d left the Wild Rose before dawn, determined to forget about Kat and Ricky for the day, but the only thing he’d forgotten was his bull rope in the trailer. Sure, he could have borrowed another competitor’s equipment, but he’d still lose the event. Instead, he’d joined the cowboys-without-brains club and signed up for poker.
