I shall mention only a few other of the mysteries. There was the persecution with flowers, for example. Someone who must have been watching the laboratory waited until we were out on several occasions and then placed a line of white flowers across the doorstep. This happened a number of times and seems to have been meant as a hex. Such a curse is practiced by some northern Indians to bring death to anyone who steps over the flowers. But who put them there and whether that was the intention we never found out.
During the time when the Klan was spreading its sheets all over the nation the laboratory got its share of attention. Small red cards with the printed words, “We are watching you, K.K.K.,” were slipped under the door on several occasions.
Mysteries had a bad effect on Ed Ricketts. He hated all thoughts and manifestations of mysticism with an intensity which argued a basic and undefeatable belief in them. He refused to have his fortune told or his palm read even in fun. The play with a Ouija board drove him into a nervous rage. Ghost stories made him so angry that he would leave a room where one was being told.
In the course of time Ed’s father died. There was an intercom phone between the basement and the upstairs office. Once after his father’s death Ed admitted to me that he had a waking nightmare that the intercom phone would ring, that he would lift the receiver and hear his father’s voice on the other end. He had dreamed of this, and it was becoming an obsession with him. I suggested that someone might play a practical joke and that it might be a good idea to disconnect the phone. This he did instantly, but he went further and removed both phones. “It would be worse disconnected,” he said. “I couldn’t stand that.”
I think that if anyone had played such a joke, Ed would have been very ill from shock. The white flowers bothered him a great deal.
I have said that his mind had no horizons, but that is untrue. He forbade his mind to think of metaphysical or extra-physical matters, and his mind refused to obey him.
Life on Cannery Row was curious and dear and outrageous. Across the street from Pacific Biological was Monterey’s largest, most genteel and respected whorehouse. It was owned and operated by a very great woman who was beloved and trusted by all who came in contact with her except those few whose judgment was twisted by a limited virtue. She was a large-hearted woman and a law-abiding citizen in every way except one—she did violate the nebulous laws against prostitution. But since the police didn’t seem to care, she felt all right about it and even made little presents in various directions.
During the depression Madam paid the grocery bills for most of the destitute families on Cannery Row. When the Chamber of Commerce collected money for any cause and businessmen were assessed at ten dollars, Madam was always nicked for a hundred. The same was true for any mendicant charity. She halfway paid for the widows and orphans of policemen and firemen. She was expected to and did contribute ten times the ordinary amount toward any civic brainstorm of citizens who pretended she did not exist. Also, she was a wise and tolerant pushover for any hard-luck story. Everyone put the bee on her. Even when she knew it was a fake she dug down.
Ed Ricketts maintained relations of respect and friendliness with Madam. He did not patronize the house. His sex life was far too complicated for that. But Madam brought many of her problems to him, and he gave her the best of his thinking and his knowledge, both scientific and profane.
There seems to be a tendency toward hysteria among girls in such a house. I do not know whether hysterically inclined types enter the business or whether the business produces hysteria. But often Madam would send a girl over to the laboratory to talk to Ed. He would listen with great care and concern to her troubles, which were rarely complicated, and then he would talk soothingly to her and play some of his favorite music to her on his phonograph. The girl usually went back reinforced with his strength. He never moralized in any way. He would be more likely to examine the problem carefully, with calm and clarity, and to lift the horrors out of it by easy examination. Suddenly the girl would discover that she was not alone, that many other people had the same problems—in a word that her misery was not unique. And then she usually felt better about it.
There was a tacit but strong affection between Ed and Madam. She did not have a license to sell liquor to be taken out. Quite often Ed would run out of beer so late at night that everything except Madam’s house was closed. There followed a ritual which was thoroughly enjoyed by both parties. Ed would cross the street and ask Madam to sell him some beer. She invariably refused, explaining every time that she did not have a license. Ed would shrug his shoulders, apologize for asking, and go back to the lab. Ten minutes later there would be soft footsteps on the stairs and a little thump in front of the door and then running slippered steps down again. Ed would wait a decent interval and then go to the door. And on his doorstep, in a paper bag, would be six bottles of ice-cold beer. He would never mention it to Madam. That would have been breaking the rules of the game. But he repaid her with hours of his time when she needed his help. And his help was not inconsiderable.
Sometimes, as happens even in the soundest whorehouse, there would be a fight on a Saturday night—one of those things which are likely to occur when love and wine come together. It was only sensible that Madam would not want to bother the police or a doctor with her little problem. Then her good friend Ed would patch up cut faces and torn ears and split mouths. He was a good operator and there were never any complaints. And naturally no one ever mentioned the matter since he was not a doctor of medicine and had no license to practice anything except philanthropy. Madam and Ed had the greatest respect for each other. “She’s one hell of a woman,” he said. “I wish good people could be as good.”
Just as Madam was the target for every tired heist, so Ed was the fall guy for any illicit scheme that could be concocted by the hustling instincts of some of the inhabitants of Cannery Row. The people of the Row really loved Ed, but this affection did not forbid them from subjecting him to any outrageous scheming that occurred to them. In nearly all cases he knew the game before the play had even started and his hand would be in his pocket before the intricate gambit had come to a request. But he would cautiously wait out the pitch before he brought out the money. “It gives them so much pleasure to earn it,” he would say.
He never gave much. He never had much. But in spite of his wide experience in chicanery, now and then he would be startled into admiration by some particularly audacious or imaginative approach to the problem of a touch.
One evening while he was injecting small dogfish in the basement, one of his well-known clients came to him with a face of joy.
“I am a happy man,” the hustler proclaimed, and went on to explain how he had arrived at the true philosophy of rest and pleasure.
“You think I’ve got nothing, Eddie,” the man lectured him. “But you don’t know from my simple outsides what I’ve got inside.”
Ed moved restlessly, waiting for the trap.
“I’ve got peace of mind, Eddie. I’ve got a place to sleep, not a palace but comfortable. I’m not hungry very often. And best of all I’ve got friends. I guess I’m gladdest of all for my friends.”
Ed braced himself. Here it comes, he thought.
“Why, Ed,” the client continued, “some nights I just lay in my bed and thank God for my blessings. What does a man need, Eddie—a few things like food and shelter and a few little tiny vices, like liquor and women—and tobacco—”
Ed could feel it moving in on him. “No liquor,” he said.
“I ain’t drinking,” the client said with dignity, “didn’t you hear?”
“How much?” Ed asked.
“Only a dime, Eddie boy. I need a couple of sacks of tobacco. I don’t mind using the brown papers on the sacks. I like the brown papers.”
Ed gave him a quarter. He was delighted. “Where else in the world could you find a man who would lavish care and thought and art and emotion on a lousy dime?” he said. He felt that it had been worth more than a q
uarter, but he did not tell his client so.
On another occasion Ed was on his way across the street to Wing Chong’s grocery for a couple of quarts of beer. Another of his clients was sitting comfortably in the gutter in front of the store. He glanced casually at the empty quart bottles Ed carried in his hand.
“Say Doc,” he said, “I’m having a little trouble peeing. What’s a good diuretic?”
Ed fell into that hole. “I never needed to think beyond beer,” he said.
The man looked at the bottles in Ed’s hand and raised his shoulders in a gesture of helplessness. And only then did Ed realize that he had been had. “Oh, come on in,” he said, and he bought beer for both of them.
Afterward he said admiringly, “Can you imagine the trouble he went to for that beer? He had to look up the word diuretic, and then he had to plan to be there just when I went over for beer. And he had to read my mind quite a bit. If any part of his plan failed, it all failed. I think it is remarkable.”
The only part of it that was not remarkable was planning to be there when Ed went for beer. He went for beer pretty often. Sometimes when he overbought and the beer got warm, he took it back and Wing Chong exchanged it for cold beer.
The various hustlers who lived by their wits and some work in the canneries when they had time were an amazing crew. Ed never got over his admiration for them.
“They have worked out my personality and my resistances to a fine mathematical point,” he would say. “They know me better than I know myself, and I am not uncomplicated. Over and over, their analysis of my possible reaction is accurate.”
He was usually delighted when one of these minor triumphs took place. It never cost him much. He always tried to figure out in advance what the attack on his pocket would be. At least he always knew the end. Every now and then the audacity and freedom of thought and invention of his loving enemy would leave him with a sense of wonder.
Now and then he hired some of the boys to collect animals for him and paid them a fixed price, so much for frogs, so much for snakes or cats.
One of his collectors we will call Al. That was not his name. An early experience with Al gave Ed a liking for his inventiveness. Ed needed cats and needed them quickly. And Al got them and got them quickly—all fine mature cats and, only at the end of the operation did Ed discover, all tomcats. For a long time Al held out his method but finally he divulged it in secret. Since Al has long since gone to his maker and will need no more cats, his secret can be told.
“I made a double trap,” he said, “a little cage inside a big cage. Then in the little cage I put a nice lady cat in a loving condition. And, Eddie, sometimes I’d catch as many as ten tomcats in one night. Why, hell, Ed, that exact same kind of trap catches me every Saturday night. That’s where I got the idea.”
Al was such a good collector that after a while he began to do odd jobs around the lab. Ed taught him to inject dogfish and to work the ball mill for mixing color mass and to preserve some of the less delicate animals. Al became inordinately proud of his work and began to use a mispronounced scientific vocabulary and put on a professorial air that delighted Ed. He got to trusting Al although he knew Al’s persistent alcoholic history.
Once when a large number of dogfish came in Ed left them for Al to inject while he went to a party. It was a late party. Ed returned to find all the lights on in the basement. The place was a wreck. Broken glass littered the floor, a barrel of formaldehyde was tipped over and spilled, museum jars were stripped from the shelves and broken. A whirlwind had gone through. Al was not there but Al’s pants were, and also an automobile seat which was never explained.
In a white fury Ed began to sweep up the broken glass. He was well along when Al entered, wearing a long overcoat and a pair of high rubber boots. Ed’s rage was terrible. He advanced on Al.
“You son-of-a-bitch!” he cried. “I should think you could stay sober until you finished work!”
Al held up his hand with senatorial dignity. “You go right ahead, Eddie,” he said. “You call me anything you want, and I forgive you.”
“Forgive me?” Ed screamed. He was near to murder.
Al silenced him with a sad and superior gesture. “I deserve it, Eddie,” he said. “Go ahead—call me lots of names. I only regret that they will not hurt my feelings.”
“What in hell are you talking about?” Ed demanded uneasily.
Al turned and parted the tails of his overcoat. He was completely naked except for the rubber boots.
“Eddie boy,” he said, “I have been out calling socially in this condition. Now, Eddie, if I could do that, I must be pretty insensitive. Nothing you can call me is likely to get under my thick skin. And I forgive you.”
Ed’s anger disappeared in pure wonder. And afterward he said, “If that Al had turned the pure genius of his unique mind to fields other than cadging drinks, there is no limit to what he might have done.” And then he continued, “But no. He has chosen a difficult and crowded field and he is a success in it. Any other career, international banking for instance, might have been too easy for Al.”
Al was married, but his wife and family did not exercise a restraining influence on him. His wife finally used the expedient of putting Al in jail when he was on one of his beauties.
Al said one time, “When they hire a new cop in Monterey they give him a test. They send him down Cannery Row, and if he can’t pick me up he don’t get the job.”
Al detested the old red stone Salinas jail. It was gloomy and unsanitary, he said. But then the county built a beautiful new jail, and the first time Al made sixty days he was gone seventy-five. He came back to Monterey enthusiastic.
“Eddie,” he said, “they got radios in the cells. And that new sheriff’s a pushover at euchre. When my time was up the sheriff owed me eighty-six bucks. I couldn’t run out on the game. A sheriff can make it tough on a man. It took me fifteen days to lose it back so it wouldn’t look too obvious. But you can’t win from a sheriff, Eddie—not if you expect to go back.”
Al went back often until his wife finally tumbled to the fact that Al preferred jail to home life. She visited Ed for advice. She was a red-eyed, unkempt little woman with a runny nose.
“I work hard and try to make ends meet,” she said bitterly. “And all the time Al’s over in Salinas taking his ease in the new jail. I can’t let him go to jail any more. He likes it.” She was all frayed from having Al’s children and supporting them.
For once Ed had no answer. “I don’t know what you can do,” he said. “I’m stumped. You could kill him—but then you wouldn’t have any fun any more.”
A complicated social structure existed on Cannery Row. One had to know or there were likely to be errors in procedure and protocol. You could not speak to one of the girls from Madam’s if you met her on the street. You might have talked to her all night, but it was bad manners to greet her outside.
From the windows of the laboratory Ed and I watched a piece of social cruelty which has never been bettered in Scarsdale. Across the street in the lot between the whorehouse and Wing Chong’s grocery, there were a number of rusty pipes, a boiler or two, and some great timbers, all thrown there by the canneries. A number of the free company of Cannery Row slept in the big pipes, and when the sun was warm they would come out to sit like lizards on the timbers. There they held social commerce. They borrowed dimes back and forth, shared tobacco, and if anyone brought a pint of liquor into sight, it meant that he not only wanted to share it but intended to. They were a fairly ragged set of men, their clothing of blue denim almost white at knees and buttocks from pure erosion. They were, as Ed said, the Lotus Eaters of our era, successful in their resistance against the nervousness and angers and frustrations of our time.
Ed regarded these men with the admiration he had for any animal, family, or species that was successful in survival and happiness factors.
We had many discussions about these men. Ed held that one couldn’t tell from a quick look how successful a
species is.
“Consider now,” he would say, “if you look superficially, you would say that the local banker or the owner of a cannery or even the mayor of Monterey is the successful and surviving individual. But consider their ulcers, consider the heart trouble, the blood pressure in that group. And then consider the bums over there—cirrhosis of the liver I will grant will have its toll, but not the other things.” He would cluck his tongue in admiration. “It is a rule in paleontology,” he would say, “that over-armor, and/or over-ornamentation are symptoms of extinction in a species. You have only to consider the great reptiles, the mammoth, etc. Now those bums have no armor and practically no ornament, except here and there a pair of red and yellow sleeve garters. In our whole time pattern those men may be the ones who will deliver our species from the enemies within and without which attack it.”
But much as he liked the bums, he was grieved at their social cruelty toward George, the pimp of the whorehouse.
George was well built, a snappy dresser, and very polite. He had complete extra-legal police powers over the girls in the house and an arguable access to any or all of them. He might even treat a friend. He had dark wavy hair, a good salary, he ate in the house, and he clipped several of the girls for their money. In other words, he was rich. He was a good bouncer with an enviable reputation for in-fighting, and—when the problem grew more confused—a triumphant record of eye-gouging, booting, and kneeing. In a word, one would have thought him a happy man—one would, unless one knew the true soul of George, as we came to.
George was lonely. He wanted the company of men, the camaraderie and warmth and roughness and good feeling and arguments of men. He got very tired of a woman’s world of perfumes and periods, of hysterics and noisy mysteries and permanents. Perhaps he had no one to boast to of his superiority over women, and it bothered him.
The Log from the Sea of Cortez Page 31
