by Will Mabbitt
D. Be on stage. Playing Hamlet.
What is your perfect pirate accessory?
A. A pipe and a leather pouch full of rancid tobacco.
B. A rusty cutlass.
C. A sack for loot.
D. An accordion.
ANSWER KEY:
Mostly A:
You are Pelf: the first mate on board the Feroshus Maggot. You are worldly and wise and people often turn to you for advice.
Mostly B:
You are Idryss Ebenezer Split: captain of the Feroshus Maggot. Evil and ferocious, you always get what you want and don’t mind crushing anyone in your path.
Mostly C:
You are Omynus Hussh: chief child bagger. You’re as quiet as a peanut and as sneaky as a woodlouse in a jar of raisins.
Mostly D:
You are Milton Melton-Mowbray: a trainee pirate. You’re kind, caring, and always coming up with creative ways to entertain friends and family.
*And in bad ones too. Like the one in which you bought this book (one of the booksellers has pressed a booger on page 134).
*Or perhaps not. I haven’t decided yet.
