Though I hadn’t intended to, I’d fallen for Gavin hard and fast. The day I’d first realized that had been terrifying, but he’d been there to catch me. We’d warmed up to each other slowly, tentatively, but now we were a pot of water that had reached boiling point.
There was no denying it: I was in love.
The best part about it was the knowledge that my feelings were reciprocated.
I love you.
He’d uttered those three simple words last night as we’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms. My son’s father had said the same thing, but his words had been hollow and meaningless, designed to keep me complacent by telling me what I wanted to hear. With Gavin, it was different.
At his core, the outgoing celebrity chef was cautious like me. He’d been burned by love before too, so I knew he could appreciate my apprehension about leaping in headfirst. I’d wanted to test the waters first to make sure they were safe. So had he. And because of that, I knew Gavin wouldn’t ever throw words like love around carelessly.
He’d meant it.
He loved me.
Though I’d purposefully kept him at arm’s length, I couldn’t keep it up. I didn’t want to push him away. I wanted to invite him in. I knew it was time to take things to the next level. Every fiber of my being screamed that it was time. He was so good to me. Gavin had also been good to Joel, which was so important.
So far my son only knew Gavin as a friend, no different than Amanda or Daniella. But Gavin was different. He was much more than a friend. Like any single parent I wasn’t exactly sure how to explain it to my son – especially given his young age. But just like all the other parenting firsts I’d had to figure out on my own, I’d handle it.
A lot of things were going to change. It was new and scary, but also exciting.
At first I hadn’t wanted to imagine a future with Gavin. I’d been afraid to envision it in case it didn’t come to fruition. To get my hopes up only to have them crushed would be devastating. I hadn’t wanted to get ahead of myself so I’d tried to live in the moment, enjoying the present instead of focusing on what might never come.
But Gavin wanted to be with me. He’d made it very clear that he wanted me and everything that came with me. He was ready to make room in his life not only for me but also for Joel. That meant the world.
Gavin didn’t hold my past against me, resent my independence or see my faults as weaknesses. He loved me for who I’d been, who I was and who I wanted to become. He didn’t think my stretch marks were ugly or my occasional profanity-laden rants were a turnoff. He accepted me exactly the way I was.
Considering the way my parents had disapproved of everything I did and said my entire life, it was a pretty huge deal. Gavin didn’t want me to change for him. He didn’t need me to be thinner or classier or prettier. He just wanted me to love him back. No problem! I could do that. It had become second nature, like breathing.
Gavin was standing in front of me now. I looked into the same eyes that had stared into mine the previous night as we’d made love…three times. A shiver ran through me as I thought about the magic he’d performed with his tongue, licking until I shuddered and cried out in pleasure.
It was strange to see Gavin and not greet him with a kiss hello. But we were on television and he was the judge of a contest I was competing in. It wouldn’t exactly be wise to announce to the world that we were together. So I held back, my arms folded across my chest.
I offered him a small smile.
He looked away.
“You’ve made cream puffs,” he said in his characteristically abrupt interviewing style. “Why?”
This was the point of the show where I was supposed to offer an elaborate explanation. It was a bit silly that the producers expected us to have deep, meaningful reasons for choosing to make the dishes we did. If I was to be completely honest, my reason was a simple one: the cream puffs tasted damn good.
Amanda, bless her heart, had been watching the show diligently right from the beginning. She said she’d been cheering for me since before she’d even met me. She’d told me once that the reason she started rooting for me in the first place was that I was real.
The other contestants offered contrived answers to Gavin’s questions, trying to bullshit their way to number one. I, on the other hand, had once told Gavin on-air that I was in the competition for the money. I vaguely recalled the way the audience had erupted in laughter and applause.
Amanda had told me that she, too, had laughed out loud at my no-nonsense, tongue-in-cheek demeanor. It was sweet of her to say so. Actually, it was more than sweet; it gave me the extra nudge I needed to be myself. Doing what was expected of me had never been my thing, anyway.
So I smiled sweetly at Gavin and informed him, “After extensive testing in my early twenties, I concluded that these babies cure a hangover like nothing else.”
Once again, the audience cheered. They were eating out of my hand. But Gavin didn’t even crack a smile. His face was a blank slate as he took a bite of the cream puff. I couldn’t help but think he reminded me of a prisoner eating his last meal before an execution. What a bizarre thought. Sometimes my brain was so weird.
He offered me no commentary after sampling my dessert, even though I was pretty sure he was contractually obligated to discuss it at length. In fact, it seemed he wanted nothing more than to get away from me. He quickly moved on to the next contestant without even a second glance at me. It left me feeling unsettled.
A few minutes later, the overhead spotlights panned the audience.
Suspenseful music began to play.
“So you’ve now sampled each and every dessert – I have to say I’m very jealous. How about we switch jobs?” the show’s host joked, eliciting a round of laughter from the live studio audience.
“Gladly,” Gavin replied.
“Have you made your decision?” the reality show host asked Gavin in an overly cheerful manner, ignoring his remark.
“I have.” Gavin’s voice was flat and devoid of any emotion.
“Just to remind you, ladies and gentlemen, tonight one contestant will be eliminated. Next week the remaining three will compete in a brand new, top secret challenge that will be revealed at the end of tonight’s show. So, Gavin Rothe, please tell us: who have you decided to eliminate tonight?”
Gavin looked at me then. His eyes were trying to tell me something but I felt like it was lost in translation. Without looking away from me, he quietly said, “I’m sorry Mina, but you will not be progressing to the next stage of the competition.”
Immediately, I went numb. It felt like I had ice running through my veins. I desperately wanted to look away so he wouldn’t see my hurt but I couldn’t move. All I could do was stand there onstage, frozen, staring into Gavin’s eyes.
Gasps could be heard in the audience and from the other contestants.
Even the show’s host couldn’t mask his surprise when he spoke next. “Can you talk to us about your thought process, Gavin?” he asked. “I can’t imagine judging this competition is easy, especially not now that we’re down to the best of the best. What, for you, was the deciding factor here tonight?”
“The cream puffs were too sweet,” Gavin said simply. “That’s all.”
I was too stunned to even be angry. I knew damn well the cream puffs weren’t too sweet. They were absolutely perfect, light and fluffy and amazing. Yes, I was secretly seeing the judge of the competition. I didn’t expect or even want special treatment from Gavin, but didn’t I deserve to be evaluated fairly?
Sometimes it was hard to get a read on what Gavin was thinking. We were so in tune with one another that we could have entire conversations without uttering a word, and yet a lot of the time I found myself unable to tell what was going through his head. It kept things interesting and unpredictable.
“They…were too sweet?” I asked, challenging him fearlessly although my hands were shaking.
“Yes.”
He was lying. I could see it in his eyes.
I didn’t understand how Gavin could, in good conscience, vote me off the show. It was a betrayal that cut deep. He knew what that prize money would mean to me. He knew how hard I was working and how much I’d sacrificed to be in the competition. And he’d told me himself, more than once, that I was going to go places in this industry.
His eyes, still locked on mine, begged for forgiveness. He had a lot of nerve. I looked away.
Just like that, I felt all my hopes and dreams collapse around me. It was over.
Table of Contents
Chapter 01
Chapter 02
Chapter 03
Chapter 04
Chapter 05
Chapter 06
Chapter 07
Chapter 08
Chapter 09
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Spicy (Palate #1) Page 10
