I remembered it all.
I sat up in the darkness, my head pounding as the memories continued to pour forth.
I remembered it all.
I climbed out of bed and grabbed a bathrobe off the back of the bathroom door, still hanging there even though I moved out of this room six months ago. I rushed upstairs to my studio, pushing aside a rollaway shelf that concealed the little safe I’d had put in there a few weeks after moving into the house. Xander knew about it. It’d been his idea.
“Everyone has valuables, Harley. You should have the safe just in case.”
I never imagined I would use it for anything more important than a life insurance policy, maybe a copy of our marriage certificate. But we never got it, did we?
Why did it take me so long to put it together? I saw them together; I knew there was something more going on there than he ever told me. But I never stopped long enough to wonder just how much more because I never wanted to believe that Xander would lie to me.
How naive could I be?
It was still there. Thank God. I knew he didn’t have the combination, but there were other ways to get into a safe. All those weeks, I had to bide my time. I had to plan the perfect moment to get back into the house and take this out. Show it to that reporter.
What were the chances that he would be there tonight? Was that what brought my memory back? Or was it seeing Jonnie? Seeing Xander’s mother, Bonnie, probably helped, too.
They were all involved.
I was so stupid to not see it all so much sooner. I wanted to believe in Xander so much; I wanted to hide in our relationship so desperately that I ignored the proof that was right there in front of my face.
I couldn’t ignore it forever.
“Harley? Are you up here?”
I quickly replaced it in the safe and slammed it closed, and then I moved the shelf back into place. I was turning as Xander came up the last few stairs, naked except for a pair of thin sleep pants that did little to hide the impressive length of his handsome body.
I reached up to run my fingers through my hair, but, of course, it wasn’t there.
“Are you okay?”
I backed up instinctively.
“I remember.”
That was all I had to say.
Chapter 22
Xander
I never meant to get involved. I knew what Grant was up to, but I kept my distance. When he offered me money, I refused to take it. When he tried to buy me a house, I told him I’d rather do things on my own. He didn’t understand it. My mom, Margaret, they were both eager to share in the wealth. But not me. I wanted to keep my hands clean, to be the good man my mom had always told me I could be.
Even if she wasn’t the angel I’d always believed her to be.
And when I met Harley, I thought she was my chance for a new start. I thought I could put all this behind me. I never expected her to learn the truth.
“You remember?”
She didn’t have to answer. I could see it in her face. The weariness that had come that day, the day she found out about me and Margaret…
“You were married to Margaret?”
The disbelief in her voice as the county clerk stared at us through the dirty Plexiglas shield around her little cage was enough to strip me bare. I tried to touch her, but she pulled away, turned, and stormed out of the building.
“If you could just get that divorce decree,” the clerk said.
“Yes, thank you very fucking much!”
I chased her out onto the front steps of the county building. She was standing on the sidewalk, staring at the passing traffic as though she didn’t really see any of it. I walked up behind her and laid my hands on her shoulders. She jerked away and turned, slapping me hard enough to make the inside of my lip bleed.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why would you let me find out like this?”
“I wanted to tell you, Harley. But you always cut me off whenever I started to explain…”
“Margaret. It’s bad enough that you married once and didn’t bother to tell me. But to Margaret? To the woman I work with? The woman who spends almost as much time in our house as we do?”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew it was wrong; I knew I should have tried harder to tell her. But with everything else going on, it seemed almost trivial.
A taxi pulled up then to discard its passenger. Harley climbed in before I realized what she was doing, the car pulling away from the curb almost instantly.
“I remember everything,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, her back pressed against the rollaway shelf that hid her safe.
Was she looking in the safe when I called out to her? What was she hiding in there?
Did it matter anymore?
“Then you remember our plans. You remember how we feel about each other.”
“I remember you lied to me.”
“I was protecting you.”
“You were protecting yourself.”
She might be right about that. I thought I was doing the right thing for us both, but maybe I was only thinking of myself. Maybe I was selfish in the way I went about it. But I still believed my intentions were right.
“I had to do something. If I didn’t—”
“You put us both in danger, Xander.”
Her face crumbled, and she sank to her knees, sobs vibrating through her body. I went to her, not sure she would welcome my touch, but grateful when she didn’t push me away.
“I love you,” I whispered, as I sank to the floor beside her and pulled her into my arms. “I just wanted to make this right for us, for our future.”
“You should have trusted me.”
“I thought I was protecting you.”
She curled into me. I kissed away her tears, our lips meeting on a long, lingering touch that I wished could last forever. I had my Harley back. And, for the moment, I was going to celebrate that.
She crawled into my lap, her lips sliding over my throat.
“It was so hard, being away from you.”
I groaned. “I know, baby. That restraining order just about killed me.”
“That was my dad.”
“I know.”
She ran her hands over my face. “You’re okay. That’s what matters.”
“But you…when they called…”
She kissed me again, and it was impossible to think of anything else. I wanted to be so close to her, so much closer. I couldn’t get close enough. So many things…
I ran into the house as the taxi sped out of the driveway, the driver clearly uninterested in getting involved in some sort of domestic problem. I paused in the doorway, listening for her.
“Harley!”
Then I heard something fall upstairs. I ran up the steps, taking them two at a time. She was in the bedroom, tearing clothes out of the closet. I didn’t know what to do at first, fear slicing through me so completely that I was paralyzed for a moment. But then I was moving without realizing I had stepped into the room.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“You lied to me.”
“I didn’t lie. I withheld a little information, that’s all.”
“That’s all? You were married, Xander! That seems pretty significant to me.”
“It was years ago. We were teenagers and it didn’t last very long.”
“It lasted long enough that the county can’t find any record of a divorce. Doesn’t that mean you’re still married? Doesn’t that mean that you and I have been living in some sort of sin?”
“Now you sound like your father.”
The color drained from her face—even as the most intense anger popped into her eyes. I thought briefly that she might slug me for that one. But she only turned, going back to the closet to grab more clothes.
“Harley, it’s a mistake. I’ll get it cleared up, and we’ll get our marriage license just like we planned.”
“I don’t think I want to marry a man who would lie to me.”
&nb
sp; “It wasn’t a lie.”
“It was an omission. That’s the same thing.”
“You told me not to tell you. Do you remember that?”
She tossed a handful of clothes on the bed before she turned to me, her hands on her hips.
“You are not blaming this on me!”
“You didn’t want to know about my past; you didn’t want to know about the women in my life.”
“I wasn’t talking about marriages! You made me believe that I was the first woman in your life that you wanted to marry, but now I found out that you were married before—”
“To a friend! To someone who needed help escaping a bad situation. It was not a love match.”
“And I’m supposed to believe that?”
“Yes. Because you love me and you trust me.”
“How can I trust you when you lied to me about something so important?”
“You’ve got to stop, Harley,” I said, grabbing her arms and pulling her over to the bed. I only wanted to force her to sit but she fought back and tried to pull away. She ripped at my arms, tore at my shirt. The papers fell out in a shower of insanity. I’d forgotten about them, forgotten the most dangerous thing I’d ever done because of the threat of losing the only thing that had ever mattered to me.
She went still as she watched the last of them fall.
“What the…?”
I bent to grab them, but she’d already knelt, grabbing a few incriminating pieces of paper before I could stop her.
“Where did you get these?”
I tried to take them from her, but she held them so tightly that they would have torn if I’d continued to fight her. So I picked up the others and stood, crossing the room as I tried to figure out what to say.
“This one has Grant’s signature on it.”
I knew that. That’s why I took it.
“And this one…is that your mom’s signature? Xander? What’s going on?”
I could hear the shock and disbelief in her voice. I wished I’d felt the same when I realized just how deeply involved they were. But I couldn’t because I really wasn’t surprised.
I slid the folder out from under my shirt where I’d thought sticking it into the top of my pants would keep it secure—like I was some sort of spy from the 1950s. I had the same information on a flash drive in my pocket, but those didn’t have signatures on them. They said they needed signatures. The one time in this automated society when an electronic signature wouldn’t do.
I tossed it all onto the low table in front of the television and sat heavily on the loveseat.
“It’s complicated.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
We sat there for a long time, just holding each other. I was so glad not to be alone in this anymore, so glad to have her back here where she belonged. It killed me to know she’d suffered because of me. When she was in the hospital and they said she had hit her head, I was terrified that the worse had happened. But she was here, she was safe, and everything was going to be okay.
Chapter 23
Harley
It was all a ruse.
I remembered that now. I left him, told everyone it was because of his lies about Margaret, about their short-lived marriage when they were seventeen. As if something like that would convince me to walk away from the love of my life. I was angry all right. But not enough to do more than yell and scream for a while. I wanted to hurt him, I did. I wanted to hurt him the way it hurt me to find out the way I did. I mean, who wants to go to the county clerk to get their marriage license just to find out that their significant other had lied about his past?
But I would have understood after he explained it to me.
They were nineteen. Margaret was being pressured by her father to marry the son of a prominent businessman—a client—who would have brought millions into her father’s law firm. It was a business deal, and Margaret wasn’t about to be used as a pawn in her father’s games. So she went to Xander while he was attending Stanford and asked him to marry her. It was in name only. They never lived together and never shared as much as a kiss. But the marriage license protected her from her father’s plot almost in the same way it threatened our own marriage.
It was nothing, just as he’d said.
But it was also a symptom in the disease that was Grant Wallace.
“The flowers were a nice touch.”
Xander chuckled, his mouth against my head so that the heat of his breath spread and pressed against my skull.
“I thought it would be something someone desperate to get a woman’s attention would do. Not me, of course…”
“Because you know I hate flowers.”
“But no one else knew that, except maybe your folks. But I guess all your dad saw was that I’d hurt you.”
“He was trying to protect me.”
He kissed the top of my head again. “I know.”
“It was comforting, seeing you sitting in your car in front of the house though.”
“Yeah?”
“I thought about inviting you in a few times in the middle of the night. But I was afraid someone might see.”
“They were clearly watching. Otherwise, I don’t think they would have gone after you like they did.”
My thoughts darkened, turning to that morning. I’d been expecting something like that…it was like there were monsters hiding around every corner I turned. But I never expected it to come like that.
“Do you remember?”
“I remember getting out of bed that morning. Calling Philip before I got dressed.”
Xander’s arms tightened slightly at the mention of my ex-boyfriend. He hadn’t thought that was a good idea, but Philip was the only person I could think of—the only person I knew—who might be able to help us. Philip was a high school history teacher in Dallas now. But his father was a politician. There were connections there that were incredibly helpful in our situation.
I craned my neck to look at him. “He said to tell you hi. I remember that, too.”
Xander kissed the tip of my nose. “Consider me told.”
“I remember grabbing my fanny pack, fastening it around my waist. I grabbed my keys and my cellphone. Then I was on the sidewalk, half expecting to see you somewhere behind me.”
“I had a meeting.”
I closed my eyes, the morning playing out behind my eyelids. I could actually feel the sidewalk under my shoes, the earbuds in my ears. I remember thinking an inability to hear was probably a bad idea, but I couldn’t jog without music. But I couldn’t remember much beyond that.
“Did they ever talk to the person who hit me?”
“No. In fact, they kind of suggested it was a hit and run.”
“Suggested?”
Xander shook his head. “I called the police a couple of times, but they refused to give me much information because I’m not technically family. And Philip told me that his contacts thought it was unrelated.”
“How could it be unrelated?”
“That’s what I said. But he wouldn’t talk about it with me.”
“He still doesn’t trust you.”
Xander shrugged. “Probably because I’m the one who dragged you into all of this. I wouldn’t trust me either.”
All of this.
All of this? I’m always confused, I think. But here’s the thing: Xander stumbled onto proof that Grant and his law firm were involved in some pretty shady real estate deals. It wasn’t anything new, really. Xander had known for years that Grant skated on the thin line between legal and illegal or immoral for years. He didn’t bat an eye at this until he had a customer tell him some interesting facts about a new building going up downtown. It was owned by a corporation out of Sacramento. Legally. In reality, the real owners were a group of men out of the Middle East who were doing everything they could to avoid the restrictions placed on businesses based in their part of the world—preventing them from doing work in the United States. And then Xander learned that Grant was working
with other such groups, groups with ties to terror groups. It was all based around real estate and seemed innocent enough. But the more Xander learned about the deals, the more he realized just how deep Grant was in the whole thing. And how deep his mother was.
He tried to talk to her about it, but she was in love with Grant—had been for thirty years—and she wasn’t about to listen to Xander on anything that made Grant look less than the hero she always felt he was. And then he realized that Margaret was involved in some way, too.
That’s when he went to the FBI. Not long after that was when I found out.
He asked me to leave him because he was afraid Grant would find out what he was doing. And that’s exactly what happened. Grant confronted him three days after I moved out of the house.
But we had a plan.
“You don’t remember who was behind the wheel of the car?”
“I don’t remember the car at all.”
“How did we get ourselves into this mess?”
I shrugged—even as I snuggled closer to him. He tightened his grip on me, his hands moving slowly down the length of my arms.
“We’re going to be okay,” he said softly. “One way or the other…”
“I know.”
I crawled to my feet and pushed the rollaway shelf out of the way again. In the safe were two simple gold rings, a man’s and a woman’s. I sat back down in his lap and lifted his hand, sliding the ring onto his left ring finger.
“This is why I came up here,” I said, as he took my ring and did the same. “I had to make sure this memory was real.”
“It is, baby,” he whispered against my lips. “You are my wife.”
“And you are my husband.”
He picked me up and carried me downstairs, wrapping his body around me as we settled back under the sheets on our bed. I closed my eyes, the emotional and physical exhaustion of the night finally catching up to me. As I slowly began to drift to sleep, I let my mind wander. At first, all these different thoughts moved through my mind, mostly memories of the last three years that were still slowly coming back from that damaged place in my mind. And then my mind’s eye kept going back to tonight, to the conversation I had with Jonnie in the bathroom.
Dare Page 30
