“Yeah, thanks.”
“He left you here all by yourself?” she asked, shaking her head with disapproval.
“It’s okay, my girlfriend’ll be here in a few.” The bar was as empty as when I came in, so Liz hung around. “You like Andy?”
“Yeah, I like him.” She shrugged.
“You’re a beautiful young girl, aren’t you more interested in guys your own age?” Sorry Andy, but I had to look out for the poor girl.
“Sometimes, it depends on the guy. But I like Andy. He’s smart and he listens.”
He listened? Her Andy and mine sounded like two different people.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Are You Positive?
“There you are,” Telly called from behind me. “Jesus, why did you ask me to meet you here?” She looked around the bar with a disgusted expression.
I gave Liz an apologetic look, and she responded with a dismissive wave.
“Telly, this is Liz.” Telly smiled indifferently and ordered a scotch.
“I heard about Holly’s proposal. You okay?” Telly asked.
“Kind of. That’s why I’m here. I was talking it over with Andy.”
“Oh, where’s Andy?” She looked around, seemingly panicked.
“He had to leave.”
Telly let out a sigh as if relieved and quickly moved on to the topic at hand, which was still unknown. “Before I say anything,” she started. “I want you to know that I realize I have the worst timing ever, but you’re the only one I can talk to about this.”
“Oh, my God. If you’re engaged—” I started and her eyes began to water.
“It’s worse.”
“What is it? Is it your practice? Are you dying?” Telly shook her head at both of these. “Then what?”
“I think I might be pregnant.”
Pregnant! My heart sank and, for a moment, I stopped breathing. “You think you’re pregnant or you know you’re pregnant?”
“I don’t know, I’ve been so busy setting up the new office that I didn’t realize my period was late.”
“How late?”
“Four weeks.”
“Four weeks!” I echoed.
She nodded and bit her lower lip like she couldn’t argue her way out of a possible pregnancy. It was Telly. She couldn’t be pregnant. It had to be something else.
“Did you take a test?” I asked and she shook her head. “You’ve been really stressed with the new practice. Sometimes that can affect your cycle.” Liz brought the scotch and Telly picked it up from the bar, putting the glass to her lips.
“Telly!” I yelled.
“What?” She froze.
“Why did you order scotch if you might be pregnant?” I asked in an angry whisper.
She frowned and seemed to realize her mistake just in time. “See, look at me. I’m a mess. I can’t be responsible for someone else’s life.” She lowered the glass, but didn’t take her eyes off of it. I could almost see her salivating for the liquor. “Will you come with me to take the test?”
“Right now?” I asked.
She nodded and looked shaken.
“Okay.”
I called Liz over to settle the tab. Then Telly and I scooted out of there and headed for the drug store.
In the aisle next to Telly’s beloved condoms were several rows of pink and blue boxes of pee sticks that read, ‘Results before your missed period’ and ‘Trusted by doctors.’
“What kind should I get?” she asked.
“I don’t know. I haven’t had a pregnancy scare since . . . since college.” I thought back to the day when Jack came back from the store with the most expensive pregnancy test on the shelf. He wanted to be sure. I remember thinking that having his baby wouldn’t have been the worst outcome. Wow, if I had been pregnant, I would have had a nine–year-old now. Hard to imagine.
“Let’s just get one of each,” she suggested.
I tried to calculate the very expensive pregnancy test bill, not to mention the amount of urine Telly would have to generate for all of them to be accurate. “How about the best three?”
Telly agreed and grabbed the three most expensive ones and we headed for the check out.
Back at Telly’s place, she set all three tests haphazardly on the sink. The two of us sat on the floor just outside the bathroom, waiting for her timer to ding.
“Who’s is it?” I asked.
“We don’t know if there is an it yet.”
“But if there is. Is it Will’s?”
She kept her eyes to the floor and nodded slightly. That’s all she needed, to be tied to that guy forever.
“This is the worst time, you know,” she said. “I can’t have a baby.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Wait for the tests.” I felt sick to my stomach not wanting to believe that she was pregnant, but knowing that in this circumstance, her chances were pretty good.
Ding!
Our eyes met with slight dread.
“Can you look for me?” she asked. Poor Telly. The girl who wasn’t scared of anything couldn’t even bring herself to check the results.
I walked to the sink. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach as I glanced at the tests. Positive. Positive. Positive. I didn’t even have to check the results key on the boxes. There was no doubt. Telly was pregnant.
“What is it?” she called from the hall. I couldn’t say anything. How could I tell her that her life would never be the same?
She pushed me out of the way to get a look at the tests then said nothing as she stared blankly at the results.
“Telly, you okay?” I asked after a minute.
“Yeah,” she uttered under her breath. “I think I need a minute.”
“Of course, I’ll be here.”
“Can you shut the door behind you?” she asked, and I did.
I exhaled from the tense moment and went to sit on her couch. The silence was eerie, but moments later it was broken by her muffled sobs in the bathroom. She shouldn’t be alone right now.
I sent James a quick text.
I’m at Telly’s. It’s a long story. I’ll be there as soon as I can.
Are you okay? he replied.
I’m fine. Helping Telly with a personal crisis.
I couldn’t help but feel the weight of everything changing. Holly was getting a husband. Telly was getting a baby. And I wasn’t sure I’d ever have either. I sat on the couch, listening as Telly’s grief spilled out. It was strange, listening to her pain. The crying in her office a couple weeks back was nothing compared to this. In the years I’d known her, I’d believed she was impervious to, well, everything. Was she going to keep it? Was she going to tell Will? Maybe I had it all wrong and she was crying tears of joy that she would be a mother.
More cries echoed down the hall. Nope, it didn’t sound joyful at all. After twenty heart-wrenching minutes, I knocked on the bathroom door.
“Telly. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she sniffled. “I’m okay, you can go.”
“Are you sure? I can stay. I don’t mind.”
She was silent for a minute.
“Telly?” I called and she opened the door. Other than her pink eyes and nose, she looked totally normal. She cleared her throat.
“I’m fine. Seriously, it’s all these fucking hormones,” she said in a deep, serious tone.
Yeah, right.
She walked passed me and I followed her to the kitchen.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“Actually, can we just pretend it didn’t happen? At least until I figure this shit out.” She leaned on the counter and turned her head toward the ceiling. “Ugh. I need a drink!”
“Sorry, but I’m not going to pretend enough to allow you to have a cocktail,” I said.
She turned to me and let out a deep sigh. “Fair enough.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Three’s a Crowd
When I felt comfortable enough to leave Telly alone, I
headed to James’ as originally planned. The day had turned into an overwhelming mess, and I felt this sudden sense of urgency to have a real, open conversation with James. When I entered his apartment, ready to spill my guts, David was sitting on the couch sipping on an amber-colored drink.
“Hey,” James said and greeted me with a kiss. “Everything okay?”
“We can talk about it when he leaves.” I glanced over to David who held up his glass.
James pulled me aside. “David’s staying here tonight.”
“Can we just get him a cab home? I really need to talk to you,” I whispered.
“We can talk upstairs. He can’t go home tonight,” James said.
Oh, yes he could.
“What’s going on?” I called to David.
“You should ask Rachel,” he said.
I turned back to James, waiting for an explanation. But honestly, I’d had enough of other people’s drama for one night.
“Tell you what. You guys have a boys night or whatever, and I’ll go home.”
“Cool!” David leaned back into the couch.
“Are you sure?” James asked.
“Yeah, it’s late and it’s been a long day. I should just go to bed.”
“Okay, I’ll call you a cab,” he said.
I folded my arms in front of my chest. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
I couldn’t explain it, but I wanted to dash out of there. If I’d had my jogging shoes, I would’ve run the whole way home. Instead, James and I waited outside for the cab.
I sat on the cement stairs that led up to his building and he nestled in next to me. “What’s going on with David?” I asked.
“Rachel asked him to leave. He’s gonna stay with me for a couple of days while she cools off.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, but I’m trying to be supportive.” He rubbed his hand along my back.
“You’re a good friend.” I smiled.
“What happened with Telly? Is she okay?” he asked.
“Yes and no. She’s pregnant.”
“What? No way!” He pulled his body away, his eyes and mouth wide in awe. I nodded slowly in my own disbelief. “Does she know whose it is?”
“James!” I shoved him. “Of course she does!” Okay, it wasn’t a totally unreasonable question, but I had to act like it was. What were friends for anyway?
“I bet it’s Will’s baby,” he said in a singsong voice.
“Yep.” I tried to imagine what Telly’s new life would be like with Will’s baby. Assuming she decided to have it.
“I knew it!” He snapped his fingers. “Those two are meant to be. I’m sure of it now.”
“What are you talking about? They’re sooo not meant to be.” I shook my head with conviction. “And neither are Holly and Noom, for that matter. Why are all the mismatched couples committing and the perfect ones aren’t?” I raised my voice slightly.
“What?” James asked with a slight chuckle, but there was nothing funny about it.
“Never mind. Are we still going shopping tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yeah, but David’s going to tag along. Is that okay?” he asked, knowing that I probably wasn’t okay with it. If he wanted to support his friend then I needed to support him. At least, that’s what Charlotte McQueen would say.
“Sure, why not.”
“Thanks, Marin. I’m sure he’s not your favorite person right now,” James said.
“He’s not, but you are.” I gave James a half smile and he kissed me.
He looked concerned. “Are you okay?”
“There’s some stuff I want to talk to you about.” The cab pulled up and I stood to leave, glad to leave our needed talk for another night.
“What stuff? Is it bad?” he asked.
“No, it’s fine.” I assured him with another kiss. “We’ll talk later when David’s not around.”
“Okay,” he said and I hopped into the cab and waved goodbye.
Then I was alone, which was a relief in some ways and unsettling in others. I took a long hot shower, trying to scrub it all away, Holly’s engagement, Telly’s pregnancy, the likelihood of Rachel’s separation, and the “possibility” of getting married. It was too much for one week.
Sleep didn’t come as easy as I thought. After tossing and turning for an hour I got up and opened a bottle of white and a container of hummus, not even bothering with a glass. I’d need the whole thing to knock me out.
With a TV drama playing in the background, pita chip crumbs littering my shirt, I swigged from a half-empty bottle of wine. My strong buzz imbued me with a false sense of inspiration. For whatever reason, I had the bright idea to drunk-dial Jack.
“Marin?” he answered.
“Jack,” I said.
“What’s going on? It’s late.”
“I dunno. I just felt like calling you, so I did, and here we are. Crazy running into each other, huh?” I slurred my words.
He snickered. “Are you drunk?”
“Yes. I’m drinking out of the bottle. Alone! And almost finished a tub of hummus. I’m a hot mess. Do you know what that is?” There was no way to stop it, and I’d definitely regret the hell out of it in the morning.
“I do know what a hot mess is, and I doubt you are one. Are you all right? Do you want me to come over?” he asked.
Drunk or not, the answer was a firm, “No.”
“Why?” he asked.
“You know why,” I told him seriously.
“What? You think something might happen?” He chuckled.
“Pff! Nothing’s going to happen, okay. I am faith—ful!” I had my hand on my hip, pointing my finger with attitude.
“Is that why you called me and not your boyfriend?”
I thought about it for a moment, as much as I could in my state. Why had I called Jack?
“No, I called you because some crazy shit went down today and my boyfriend, who I love but won’t marry me, is preoccupied at the moment with probably even more crazy shit.”
“What happened?” he asked.
“Everything’s a mess. My best friend got engaged to a guy she should not marry, my other best friend is pregnant and she should not be having a baby. Meanwhile, I’m with a great guy, I’m ready for marriage, for a baby, and I get nothing! What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you, love. You’re perfect.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, right. If I’m so perfect, then why did you convince me that we could do a long distance relationship and dump me anyway?”
“Because I’m an ass. It was a mistake,” he said and for a second, I stopped breathing. Did he just say letting me go was a mistake? My cheeks began to flush. “I never should have ended things when you went to Boston. I was young and stupid.”
“Jack, you don’t have to do this,” I said, when what I meant was don’t do this. For years, I wanted to hear him say those words. Maybe even up until he actually said them, I still wanted to hear them. Now that he was confessing the regrets of his soul, I couldn’t bear it.
“No, I should’ve told you years ago,” he said with a soft, regretful voice.
I glanced at the mantel of a photo of James and me in Napa, and felt a twinge of guilt and nausea. I couldn’t have this conversation, especially not when I was drunk in the late hours of the night. Especially after the day I’d had.
“Jack, I gotta go. Sorry I called so late.” I hung up before he could say anything and shook it off like a bad dream. The rest of the wine went down the sink drain, and I forced myself to go to bed. No more phone calls until I sobered up.
It wasn’t even six on that Saturday morning when my head began to spin around yesterday’s events, so much so that my stomach coiled. What a nightmare. I longed for the days before my birthday, when Holly was just a planeteer, Telly was, well, Telly. When Jack was only a memory, and James and I were just happy to have each other. So much was changing and it would never be the same.
My unsettled gut churned more and I rushed to the toilet. Gross. Drinking almost an entire bottle of wine by myself was out of the question from now on. I pulled the lever and watched the remnants of the night’s indulgence flush into oblivion. If only the rest of the night could go with it.
I sat against the wall in the bathroom and took in a deep breath. Somehow my life had spun out of control. I had been so consumed with my shit that I got lost in it. I was acting like a spoiled child. In front of the bathroom mirror, I splashed cold water on my face and took a good hard look at myself. “It’s time to grow up, Marin,” I told my reflection. “You’re no spring chicken.”
I got dressed and tried to stomach some shred of breakfast. James showed up around eleven with a fresh coffee and tag-a-long David. I was happy to see one, but not the other.
I needed to be mature. Take the high road.
“You ready, baby?” James asked, handing over the warm paper cup. My face lit with a fake smile. Fake it until you make it, right? I followed the guys to James’ car.
James and I had been planning a trip to the home improvement store to pick out paint and some new appliances. It was supposed to be a romantic outing, but I’d have to settle for a third wheel. I hadn’t talked to Rachel to see what he’d done, so I didn’t know if I should be pissed at him or not. Wives didn’t kick their husbands out for nothing.
I sighed. For the sake of ignorance and maturity, I needed to remain indifferent.
“What do you think about this?” I asked James and opened the doors of the stainless steel double-door fridge with an ice dispenser. I’d always wanted one of those. I never had ice in my freezer because I always forgot to make it.
“It’s nice.” He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket then compared the measurements on it to the numbers on the tag. “Oh, yeah. It’ll fit.”
I grinned and tried to imagine the appliance in the new space along with all my other ideas about the kitchen update.
“I think you can go bigger,” David added, pulling me out of my daydream state. “Like this one.” He walked over to a towering hunk of metal, the kind of fridge that only a professional athlete would need.
“It’s just the two of us. We don’t need that much storage,” James said.
The Commitment Test (The Marin Test Series Book 2) Page 18
