The Commitment Test (The Marin Test Series Book 2)

by Aksel, Amanda

  “It won’t always be just the two of us,” I said smiling.

  “Yeah, because I’ll be moving in with you guys, and we’ll need more room to stash the beer.” David stood back and admired the oversized refrigerator.

  “What’s he talking about?” I whispered to James.

  He shrugged.

  It was like that the entire time we were in appliances. Eventually I asked James if we could come back another day, but he insisted that we finish the shopping trip.

  As we walked the aisles, I realized that we were in a fully stocked warehouse of home improvement items. Any issue with a house could be fixed with the objects that lined the shelves.

  Wouldn’t it be amazing if every city contained relationship improvement stores? Have a broken heart? You can paint it a new color and start fresh. Your husband’s a pain in the ass? There’s a part to fix that. Sure, relationship improvement stores would make my occupation obsolete, but I could always find another trade, like owning a winery or writing books about life’s crazy shenanigans.

  Oh, well. A girl could dream.

  On the way to the paint department, I asked David if he wouldn’t mind getting brushes, tape, rollers, and other supplies.

  “I want to help you guys pick out paint. Rachel never lets me help with stuff like this,” David said.

  “There’s probably a good reason for that,” I said under my breath.

  James shot me a disapproving look.

  We browsed the array of swatches filed neatly in sections by brand. I didn’t care about brands, just colors. After nearly four years in my apartment, I was sick of white walls. It was always my intention to put some color on them, but knowing that I’d have to change it back when I moved out had left me with little motivation to brighten my space.

  I’d already been browsing Pinterest for ideas and I was set on no-nonsense neutrals. I went straight for the beige, grays, and a few fair blues for the bedroom, testing the swatches under different lighting.

  “Do you like this Khaki?” I asked James.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “Or what about this Sandpiper?” I handed him another swatch.

  “Honestly, baby, I’m sure whatever you pick out is fine. I don’t care that much about paint.”

  Carte blanche with the paint? Hell yes!

  “This color’s pretty cool.” David stood in another section holding a single swatch.

  Even from ten feet away, I could tell it was a bad choice.

  “Yeah, I like that too. Marin?” James handed me the wine-colored sample. I didn’t like wine stains on my mouth, and I definitely didn’t like them on my walls.

  I scowled.

  “Are you sure? It’s called Bordeaux,” James said.

  “Cool name. Bad color.” I turned back to my approved stack of shades.

  “I wish I had this color in my bedroom. It’s kinda sexy,” David added.

  Yuck. I rolled my eyes and looked at James. “I thought you didn’t care about colors.”

  “I do and I don’t. David’s just trying to help,” he said.

  “Oh, you’re gonna like this one.” David handed over a hideous, dark hunter green card.

  My face grew hot. Was he fucking with me?

  “Why don’t you two get some supplies or go look at power tools or something?”

  “Babe,” James said, “c’mon.”

  This was his fault for bringing his pain-in-the-ass friend.

  “Please,” I begged. “Give me twenty minutes alone and I’ll be done.”

  “Yeah, man, let’s go,” David waved for James to follow him.

  Thank God.

  Half an hour later, James and David returned and the paint was almost done mixing. I’d only picked out enough for a few rooms, but the colors were perfect.

  “What are these for?” James asked picking up the three sample sized tins of paint in green, blue, and purple.

  I shrugged. “They’re nursery ideas. I really like the colors.”

  “Are you pregnant?” David snapped.

  “No.”

  “This is exactly what I’m talking about.” David glared at James. “She’s already got your whole life planned for you, colors and everything. Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself? You haven’t even closed on the house yet.”

  “C’mon, man,” James said in an apparent attempt to get him to shut up.

  “What? I’m just telling you what I wish someone had told me.”

  James inched closer to David. “This isn’t the time or the place.”

  Was there ever a time and place for him to act like such an asshole?

  James turned toward me. “Let’s just pay for everything and go home.”

  I glowered then pushed the cart toward the check out, the guys trailing behind.

  “I bet you’re buying all this shit too,” David muttered to James just loud enough for me to hear. I squeezed the handle on the cart and it took everything I had not to say something back that would only make it worse. Instead, I ignored him.

  The three of us were silent in the car on the way home. I sat with my arms crossed and my body turned toward the door. I wanted to call Rachel and tell her to come and get her husband. He was being a dick. We got back to James’ and unloaded our purchases. Boxes piled high along James’ walls and his shelves were almost bare in preparation for the move. Marvin nudged me with his nose, and I patted his head.

  “Be right back,” James said and ran up the stairs to the bathroom. I knelt down and scratched Marvin behind his soft ears. David whistled for the canine and he obeyed.

  “Have you talked to Rachel?” I asked.

  “Nope,” he said, not taking his eyes off the dog.

  “What happened? I thought things were getting better in counseling.”

  “Me too. I guess you’re not as good of a therapist as you thought.”

  “What’s with the shitty attitude? Even your wife can’t stand being around you.”

  He shot me a dirty glance, and I folded my arms over my chest. “She can’t get over what happened. That’s why I had to leave.”

  “What are you talking about? She forgave you.”

  “She may have forgiven me, but she’ll never trust me again. People don’t forget when you’ve hurt them. It’s funny. The same day she found out I slept with someone is the same day James found out about all your lies. You think he forgot about that whole thing?”

  I choked on impending tears and my muscles tightened.

  He scoffed. “Yeah, I guess we’re not so different, are we?”

  The bathroom door creaked open.

  I fought back the urge to cry.

  “You guys wanna get some lunch?” James asked with a smile as he walked down the steps. It quickly faded when he entered the room.

  “Can you take me home?” I asked James. He looked at me, then at David, then back at me.

  “Sure.”

  I waited in the car while he loaded empty boxes in the back.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, pulling the car out onto the street.

  “Do I look okay?” I snapped.

  “What happened?” He sounded alarmed.

  “Like you don’t know. David’s been antagonizing me all day. You should’ve heard what he said to me when you were in the other room.”

  “What did he say?”

  I never wanted to bring up that time in our life again, as I was lucky enough to get out of it the first time.

  “Never mind, you don’t care anyway,” I mumbled and coiled into myself.

  “Yes, I do,” he said.

  “Then why didn’t you stick up for me before?”

  “I’m trying to go easy on him. He’s having a rough time.”

  “He’s having a rough time? What about me? I’m having a rough time.”

  “With what?” he raised his voice.

  “You really don’t get it, do you?” I stared out the window, anxious to see the buildings on my street.

&n
bsp; “Marin, what are you talking about?”

  “My friends are moving on with their lives. Holly’s getting married. Telly’s having a baby, and for all we know, Rachel’s getting a divorce.”

  “And?”

  “And, we’ve been together for almost two years. I’m ready to move on to the next step.”

  He let out an annoyed sigh. “We are moving to the next step. We close in two weeks.”

  “I’m not talking about the house. I’m talking about getting married.”

  “Can we please just move in first? We’ve known each other for two years, but we’ve only truly been together a year and a half.” His words were a slap in the face after what David had said.

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I said.

  “Fine.”

  Neither of us spoke the rest of the way to my apartment. When we got there, he unloaded the empty boxes and said we would talk later. We were supposed to have the entire weekend to get ready for our move. Thanks to David, the whole day had been a bust. I had no motivation to pack up my stuff to move. Why would I want to live with someone who didn’t want anything more and wouldn’t even stick up for me in front of his friends? I wanted to scream and cry and throw a fit.

  After everything I had done with the McQueen Method, I was no closer to getting a proposal than before my birthday. Maybe David was right. Maybe he and I would always be the ones who broke their hearts that day. It was a permanent strike against us. I thought I had earned my way out of that mess. Why couldn’t James see what I could see so clearly? What if he never proposed? Was that the kind of life I’d want? A marriageless existence? Could I live with it? Was it enough?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  An Affair to Forget

  Only minutes after James left, someone knocked on my door.

  It had to be James, back to apologize and make things right with us. As he should.

  I opened the door. “Rachel, what are you doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you.” She pushed past me and headed straight to my kitchen. “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” She retrieved a chilled bottle of vodka from the freezer and attempted to make herself a drink.

  “What are you talking about?” I stole the bottle from her grip and she began to sob. “What happened?”

  “I’ve been having an affair.” Rachel covered her face. The two-carat diamond ring sparkled on her ring finger.

  “Are you serious?” I asked with wide eyes.

  Rachel nodded. “I don’t know what to do.” She leaned into me and began sobbing. I stroked her long dark hair, trying to calm her. After a minute, I peeled her off.

  “Rachel, look at me. What happened?”

  Her tears slowed, and she stumbled to the couch where she curled in a ball like a little girl sobbing. I handed her a tissue.

  “I couldn’t forget, Marin. I tried. Sometimes I could pretend and sometimes I even believed I was over it, but I wasn’t. So I thought if I was with someone else behind his back we would be even and I could move on with my life.”

  “Was it only one time?”

  “No, it was more than one time. It’s been going on for a while.”

  “With who?”

  “Bobby, my trainer.” Always the fitness trainer. It all made sense as to why she’d been so off the last few months.

  “Does David know?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “No, I told him I didn’t think it was going to work between us and that we should separate. I mean, how could it? He lied to me, I lied to him.”

  “Is that all? You said it’s been going on for a while. Do you have feelings for the other guy?”

  “I dunno. I dunno what I feel or think anymore. I just know I’m not proud of it. I want it to stop. I want something to change.”

  I could commiserate with her. I wanted something to change too.

  “You need to tell David what you just told me.”

  She cried harder. “I know I should, but I don’t want to hurt him like he hurt me.”

  “But isn’t that why you did it in the first place?”

  She lowered her head and said nothing. I thought back to her bachelorette party in Vegas, how she told me about her reservations outside the hotel. Maybe she should have listened to herself instead of listening to me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “It’s okay, you’re right.”

  “No, I’m sorry about all of this. I feel like it’s my fault.”

  “It’s not.”

  “I should have listened to you when you confided your fears about marrying David. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t gone all crazy after Chad. And I couldn’t fix it, which forced you into a position of breaking your vows.”

  “It’s not yours to fix. We made mistakes of our own free will.”

  We sat together for a while until finally I convinced her to find David and tell him the truth so they could move on. I didn’t know what that meant for their future, but what was done was done and only time would tell.

  “Just do me a favor,” she said before leaving.

  “What’s that?”

  “Whenever you do get married, make sure that it’s the right thing for you. If you have even a shred of doubt, don’t do it.” Her words hit me hard.

  I looked around my emptying apartment. Was I making a doubtful commitment by buying a house with James and not knowing where it would lead? Was I doing the right thing? Her words settled over me like an uncertain cloud. I couldn’t just sit there anymore. I needed a run.

  Sun warmed my cheeks against the cool breeze as I jogged swiftly near the lake. Physically, I could run out the negative energy but mentally, it lingered. I tried not to think about it all. Maybe I needed some time away to clear my head or at least quiet my thoughts.

  “Marin,” a voice called from behind. I slowed and turned back.

  “Jack?” I said and stopped long enough for him to catch up with me.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?” He smiled from ear to ear.

  “Me? This is my park.” Okay, now it was getting weird.

  “What? You own it or something?” he joked, but I wasn’t amused.

  “Are you stalking me for real?” I kept my distance.

  “Don’t be so full of yourself, Marin. I don’t even know where you live.”

  “So you say.” I rolled my eyes.

  “I’m glad I ran into you though. I’ve been worried about you,” he said.

  “You have, why?”

  “Last night when you called, you sounded upset.”

  Life changes and alcohol could do that to a girl.

  “Thanks for your concern, but I never should’ve called you,” I said.

  “No, I’m glad you did. You can call me anytime.”

  He gave me that look. The kind that said I could trust him, but if I was smart, I’d run far, far away and avoid him like the plague. But he was being kind and concerned. Was he the type of man now who would stick up for me in front of David?

  “I think I need more fuel. Have you eaten yet?” he asked.

  “No, I’ve got to get back to my apartment to pack,” I lied.

  “Let me take you to lunch, then I’ll help you pack.” He began running backward so he could face me.

  “I appreciate it, but no thanks.” I tried not to look at him, but kept my eyes on the run.

  “Come on, I know you’re hungry. That’s probably why you’re so cranky.”

  “I’m not cranky,” I snapped.

  He came to a stop. “Marin, please, I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” I don’t know exactly why I did it. Maybe it was because I was mad at James. Maybe it was because of what David said. All I know is an hour later the two of us were sitting together outside of a café. I was on my second cocktail, munching fries, and he had just scarfed down a burger. We had finished laughing at an old anecdote when we found ourselves sitting quietly for a moment. I took a swig from my Cosmopolitan.

  “
You know what I think?” he asked, as he looked around at the other restaurant patrons.

  “What?”

  “You’re the prettiest girl here.” He smiled and sipped his water.

  “Pff!” I said and gave him a dismissive wave. “What are you talking about? I’m in jogging clothes. My hair’s in a messy ponytail and I’m pretty sure my deodorant’s wearing off.”

  “I didn’t say you were the sweetest smelling girl here,” he said.

  I chucked a fry at him.

  It was fun, the kind of fun that was exciting and familiar all at the same time. Aside from a few compliments, he kept his hands and his heart to himself. Was there a purpose to his reappearance? If I believed that all of my movie moments with James were a sign from the universe, then surely all my accidental run-ins with Jack had to be the same, right?

  When the server brought the check, I should have said goodbye and left him forever. After all, I had pretty much dodged him every chance I could since he’d popped back into my life. Maybe that’s why he kept showing up. Maybe there really was unfinished business.

  “Do you need help packing?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Great! I can meet your boyfriend then.” He closed the bill leaving a generous tip.

  “He’s not coming.”

  “Oh, are you sure it’s okay?” he asked.

  “It’s fine. We’re just friends, right?”

  Right?

  “Of course.” He smiled.

  We walked the rest of the five blocks to my place. With every step, I grew more unsure about having him at my place alone, but I stuck to my guns. Besides, no matter how mad I was at James, I wasn’t Rachel, and nothing was going to happen.

  “Here it is!” I opened the door, and he stepped inside, glancing around the room.

  “This is a great place. Why are you moving?” he asked. Obviously, he hadn’t seen the house on Fell Street.

  “The new house blows this place out of the water.”

  “Really?”

  I showed him around, careful not to invite him inside any other rooms. In fact, I had to keep him confined to the living room just in case he wanted to try something funny. I showed him the items in the living room that had to go first and handed him a small pile of newspaper. He inquired or commented about each piece he wrapped up, like he was trying to get to know me better. Then he got to the framed picture of James and me.