by Linda Style
Serena knew better than anyone how hard it was. “I don’t believe he can ever do that,” Serena said. She’d listened to him, saw the pain in his eyes.
“He’s so hard on himself, and I wish I could help him, but I can’t.”
Serena stopped and took out her wallet. “Here, I want you and Cole to have this.” She removed a photo, one she’d sneaked before they’d taken her baby away. “It’s not much to hang on to, but it’s something. I always hold out the hope that one day, maybe he’ll want to find out who his biological parents are. But if he never does, at least I’m comforted in knowing he has had a better life than he would have had with just me.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THREE WEEKS LATER, Serena lowered herself into the easy chair next to the window at the Purple Jeep Touring Company. Too nervous to sit, she stood again, parted the blinds and stared out at the crimson mountains in the background.
Like a movie backdrop, she thought. Surreal, almost. Puffy white clouds hung like giant cotton balls in a clear blue sky. Bright green pine trees and juniper dotted the landscape, a vivid contrast with the red rock.
She was taking control, and that was that.
“Okay. Sorry about that,” Cole said, reentering the room while slipping his arms into a white safari shirt. “I’ve got a tour in ten minutes.” He continued buttoning his shirt.
“I’ll only be a minute.” One minute in which she couldn’t drag her gaze away from his bare chest. “I came to thank you for all that you’ve done for Ryan.”
His feet were bare, and he worked the rug underneath them with his toes. “No need to thank me. I owe him a lot more.”
“Well, your testimony made everything a lot easier.”
“Lucy…I mean Detective Sanchez’s testimony helped even more,” Cole said.
She swallowed. This was so hard, but she’d had to do it. It was the only way to free herself…and him. She stood to face him. “I also came here to tell you I forgive you.”
His head shot up.
“I’ve spent a lot of time living in the past, and I can’t do it anymore. I know you didn’t do anything intentionally. You were a teenager who made a bad decision. I also want you to know I didn’t do what I did because I hated you or was trying to get even. I loved you, and even though I thought you’d put your friends before me, I got over that. I made a mistake, too, in not telling you about the baby. I realize that now. But that’s not all of why I’m here. I need to tell you that I hope and pray someday you’ll be able to forgive yourself.”
A panoply of emotions played over his face. Surprise, puzzlement, acute pain. “Serena, you did what you believed was right. I understand that. What hurts, and what I don’t understand is why you got involved with me again…when we were out looking for Ryan.”
She raised a hand to her throat. “I got involved for the same reason I told you about the baby. I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.” She took a deep breath. As long as it was truth time, she might as well say it all. “And I wanted desperately to believe that was why you were with me, too. But delusion only lasts a little while.” She gave a wan smile, trying to make light.
For the longest time, he simply stood there, shirttails hanging out, both hands at his waist. He stared past her, out the window, then walked over and locked the door.
Then he turned, took her firmly by the arms, sat her in one of the chairs and sat down across from her. He leaned toward her, his eyes meeting hers.
“What happened between us meant more to me than you can imagine—back in high school and now. But I know how hard being me in this town is and—”
Serena lifted a hand to stop him. Her throat cramped. None of that mattered. What mattered was what was in her heart…and his. She stood up, stepped to the window and gazed out. “I made some decisions in the past couple days. I decided I had to be honest and tell you how I feel. And after that, I just have to let us go and move on.”
“Move on?” Cole spat. “Serena, this might sound strange, but believe it or not, I know who I am. I know why I’m doing what I am with my life. Except for one thing.”
“One thing?”
“Yes. When I was a kid,” Cole said, “I’d lie awake at night and get stomach cramps wondering why my dad didn’t care enough about me to even stick around. And I was always feeling sorry for my mom because it hurt her that he’d left and it was so hard for her to just keep food on the table.”
He sucked in a breath. “I spent my whole life worrying and wondering about something that didn’t amount to anything in the end. My dad didn’t leave. My mother had never told him about me. The fact was, she didn’t even know him. So now I think about all that lost time and how pointless it was. I don’t want to do that anymore. And I realized that although I came back because of my mother, I also came back because I needed answers, and I knew this was the only place I’d get them. I wanted answers from you. Now I know even that was wrong. You did whatever you did for your own reasons.”
“The wrong reasons.”
“No, not wrong. They were right at the time, and that’s where we have to leave it. We’re living in the now, not in the past.”
He was so close his warm breath fanned her face when he spoke. Then, tentative, unsure, he reached out, his fingertips barely touching hers. He lifted her hand and placed it over his heart, pressing both his hands over hers.
“You’re in my heart, Serena. You’ve always been there and always will be.”
As she heard the catch in his voice, tears welled in her eyes. A river of emotion suddenly flowed between Cole and her, the current swift and powerful.
“I’m willing to take a chance if you are,” he said gently.
Serena’s heart filled with love and joy and she knew right then and there that not only was she willing, she was ready to take that chance. Yet it wasn’t a chance at all. Her love for Cole was as certain as anything she’d ever known to be true.
“But there are no guarantees that—”
Serena cut him off with a fingertip to his lips. “I love you, Cole.” Softly, she traced a line along his jaw. “I love you with all my heart.”
Pure, impossible joy coursed through Cole, reaching all the empty places inside. “And I love you, Serena Matlock. More than I ever thought possible.”
ISBN: 978-1-4268-3837-8
THE PROMISE HE MADE
Copyright © 2009 by Linda Fensand Style.
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